Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Brand New Year! Brand New Derriere!

I have a confession to make. I totally love Jillian Michaels now. I haven’t lost any weight in a month  - but that's entirely my fault and largely because of my inability to resist delicious vittles.  And the 30 Day Shred is now a 60 Day Shred (thanks to a brief hiatus over the holidays). But I feel so much better as a result of doing it and my body is smaller, even if it doesn’t weigh less. And I'm stronger and have better balance.  Like much better balance.  Apparently due to "developing core strength" which sounds to me like a science fiction term that involves forging titanium in a lava pit but actually has to do with sit-ups.  More importantly, I sincerely appreciate all that she's done for me.  Now when I call her an evil whore while working out, I say it affectionately.

I wuv you, you evil, fire-breathing hooker.  Thanks for everything.

Guess what else I’m all warm and fuzzy over? The Rants from Mommyland team on SparkPeople. We have almost 220 members and I am so into it. Sparkpeople has tons of resources including apps for phones, on-line trackers for food and working out (both of which I really like) and also on-line fitness videos (which I've never used).  I'm not trying to endorse SparkPeople or say it's better than anything else out there but it is good stuff and it's free.  I love that for two reasons:
  1. We call my husband Cap'n Coupon for a reason.
  2. I wanted to do something with all of you this year and there was no way I was going to ask people to pay to be a part of something like that.  Mommyland is free, y'all.
BUT - I have no idea what I’m doing or how to use the SparkPeople website effectively.  So two very nice mommies volunteered to help us and have been subsequently deputized as co-leaders of the team. They are:

Real name: Jessica
SparkPeople user name: YcaMommy
Mommyland job title: Headmistress of Deprivation
Factoid: Used the phrase “sucks flaming hot monkey balls” in the email where we first met. Insert heart emoticon here.  Also, really understands how SparkPeople works.

Real name: Courtney
SparkPeople user name: GCB1605
Mommyland job title: Minister of Ass Reduction
Factoid: She’s my hero as she has already lost over 50 pounds. Let us pause for a moment of genuflection. She is obviously awesome at goal setting and encouraging her team-mates.

Just to give you a sense of what we're all about, here they are our team goals for this week:
  1. Drink 8 glasses of water a day
  2. Check in on the message boards once a day for encouragement and support
  3. Keep track of what you eat
These are great, right? Even I can do them.  The writing down everything I eat part is shockingly helpful at making me aware of what I'm cramming in my gob.  Oh! And starting next week, the deputies are adding exercise into the mix with a bootcamp type of thing that I don’t fully understand yet but have been assured will have me at Maximum Cuteness for the summer.  So I won’t feel like such an ass hat donning my nasty-ass, stretched-out, bought-at-Costco-five-years-ago bathing suit.  Also, the timing for starting a bootcamp thingee is perfect because The Shred is over for me at the end of the week.  By the way, level three is so incredibly hard I didn't think I could manage to do it. 

I will miss Jillian so much. Or I would, except that B is everywhere.  On TV, at Target, on every website I click on.  I kind of can't get away from her - but I'm OK with it.  Everytime I see her face (all 458 times per day) I am reminded to stay on course.  And I feel ready to stay on course.
I swear to MAUDE this is year I finally get it together. But I'm going to need all the help I can get.


  1. Thanks for making a page on Sparkpeople!! I have been using them not so regularly for about a year now but I am trying to now! It is nice to have the support there!

  2. Yeeeeeeep! It certainly has been interesting watching the RFML team grow over past week. Spark is a great tool-- but it takes time to fully learn and understand!

    Anyway, it's a damn good thing that YCA and GCB had some time to think about how they wanted to do everything because I imagine it is going to crazy up in there.

  3. Holy crap, Batman! I'm famous now. =) I'm glad I can be a part of the effort to create a legion of even hotter, healthier moms. If nothing else, losing a few pounds aids in one's ability to chase down and capture their darling little monsters as needed. Hoping I get to greet some new members tonight! =)

    -Your Minister of Ass Reduction

  4. Well double donkey punch...bring on the weight loss! Need to lose some serious poundage from the holidays! My bakers dozen (aka. muffin top) just keeps rising and rising!

  5. I'm so glad for y'all and everyone! Weight loss and healthy living is such a hard thing to do in today's society of excess and indulgence. I tried everything and ended up having a Gastric Bypass. I was 314lbs before my surgery and at my max near 340lbs. I lost a total of 160lbs which is actually a lot even with the surgery so I'm really surprised.

    I would join up with SparkPeople but we just found out I'm pregnant! So no losing weight for me right now just now to find a high risk OB. Which so far is turning out to be a bundle of joygasmic head bashing into the wall fun lol

    I'll cheer for you all!

  6. If you liked the 30 day shred try Jillians Yoga Meltdown...WOWZA! and its broken down into circuits like 30DS! I love jillian as well and just started my own transformation in to Hotmommy land :)

  7. I am so totally jealous of those almost 220 people. I would love to join you all, but trying to lose weight when you are pregnant is frowned upon. Anyway....why can't you keep doing the shred with Jillian? I mean, I get that it is a 30 day shred and you stretched it to 60 days, but if it is still a good workout, won't you still get something out of it?

  8. I have been on SP since 2006 and love it. I need it since I'm at an all-time high with no baby to show for it, but I love it! It's awesome! =) My name is mrsappleseed, say hello!

  9. Here's something interesting about how much water we should drink. New dietary guidelines say you should drink half your body weight in ounces. So, if you weighed 130 pounds, you should drink about 65 ounces of water daily. So, years ago when the "average" person weighed 130 pounds, 8 glasses of water was good. But not many people weigh that little anymore. So, if you weigh 180 pounds, you should drink 90 ounces, or about 11 glasses, of water daily. 200 lbs? 100 oz (12.5 glasses). So, I should drink... uhm, we're not going there.

  10. To the pregnant mommies- SparkPeople has a sister site BabyFit.com. The Mommyland team isn't there,(Yet????) but it's all about staying healthy and fit while you're pregnant and after baby arrives.

  11. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE SP! I've lost 30lbs with them since July (!!!!) and can't imagine being at the weight I am NOW without them. I fell off the wagon HARD CORE over the holidays, but I'm working on getting back up there. :) I'm WATCHING what I eat, even if I'm not logging, but I'm afraid that even with keeping mental track of my food, I'm still eating too much. I'm on the team for RFML, just haven't checked in. I *PROMISE* I will starting Sunday!

  12. can i just say how very, very much i loathe the food tracker? idk if i eat odd foods, or odd amounts, or what, but i spend half my day adding foods & it's a PIA. ok, rant over, now let's lose some weight. or @ least drink more water.

  13. The scale is an evil invention that actually hinders weight loss/fitness achievements. People tend to obsess about the pounds that they are or are not losing instead of the overall reduction in %bodyfat. Muscle takes up less volume per pound than fat does, the scale does not know the difference, but your pants do! Also, we all have a mental image of ourselves that makes it harder for us to see the benefits that our healthy lifestyle has accomplished. How many times have we thought that we haven't really been making accomplishments only to have someone else remark "Wow, you look great!" My advice, destroy the scale, take pictures of yourself along your journey so that you can have the outsiders perspective and keep moving!

  14. I LOVE the team -- everyone has been so helpful, especially Veglils! I'm still learning though and trying to get used to checking in daily. =-)

  15. I bought 30DS this week, but have yet to take it out of the packaging. REALLY need to break the cellophane, that would do wonders for my weight loss.




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