Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Brand New Year! Brand New Derriere!

I have a confession to make. I totally love Jillian Michaels now. I haven’t lost any weight in a month  - but that's entirely my fault and largely because of my inability to resist delicious vittles.  And the 30 Day Shred is now a 60 Day Shred (thanks to a brief hiatus over the holidays). But I feel so much better as a result of doing it and my body is smaller, even if it doesn’t weigh less. And I'm stronger and have better balance.  Like much better balance.  Apparently due to "developing core strength" which sounds to me like a science fiction term that involves forging titanium in a lava pit but actually has to do with sit-ups.  More importantly, I sincerely appreciate all that she's done for me.  Now when I call her an evil whore while working out, I say it affectionately.

I wuv you, you evil, fire-breathing hooker.  Thanks for everything.

Guess what else I’m all warm and fuzzy over? The Rants from Mommyland team on SparkPeople. We have almost 220 members and I am so into it. Sparkpeople has tons of resources including apps for phones, on-line trackers for food and working out (both of which I really like) and also on-line fitness videos (which I've never used).  I'm not trying to endorse SparkPeople or say it's better than anything else out there but it is good stuff and it's free.  I love that for two reasons:
  1. We call my husband Cap'n Coupon for a reason.
  2. I wanted to do something with all of you this year and there was no way I was going to ask people to pay to be a part of something like that.  Mommyland is free, y'all.
BUT - I have no idea what I’m doing or how to use the SparkPeople website effectively.  So two very nice mommies volunteered to help us and have been subsequently deputized as co-leaders of the team. They are:

Real name: Jessica
SparkPeople user name: YcaMommy
Mommyland job title: Headmistress of Deprivation
Factoid: Used the phrase “sucks flaming hot monkey balls” in the email where we first met. Insert heart emoticon here.  Also, really understands how SparkPeople works.

Real name: Courtney
SparkPeople user name: GCB1605
Mommyland job title: Minister of Ass Reduction
Factoid: She’s my hero as she has already lost over 50 pounds. Let us pause for a moment of genuflection. She is obviously awesome at goal setting and encouraging her team-mates.

Just to give you a sense of what we're all about, here they are our team goals for this week:
  1. Drink 8 glasses of water a day
  2. Check in on the message boards once a day for encouragement and support
  3. Keep track of what you eat
These are great, right? Even I can do them.  The writing down everything I eat part is shockingly helpful at making me aware of what I'm cramming in my gob.  Oh! And starting next week, the deputies are adding exercise into the mix with a bootcamp type of thing that I don’t fully understand yet but have been assured will have me at Maximum Cuteness for the summer.  So I won’t feel like such an ass hat donning my nasty-ass, stretched-out, bought-at-Costco-five-years-ago bathing suit.  Also, the timing for starting a bootcamp thingee is perfect because The Shred is over for me at the end of the week.  By the way, level three is so incredibly hard I didn't think I could manage to do it. 

I will miss Jillian so much. Or I would, except that B is everywhere.  On TV, at Target, on every website I click on.  I kind of can't get away from her - but I'm OK with it.  Everytime I see her face (all 458 times per day) I am reminded to stay on course.  And I feel ready to stay on course.
I swear to MAUDE this is year I finally get it together. But I'm going to need all the help I can get.

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