Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Great Debate: PajamaJeans
So because we’re so different, we decided to debate it. We figured between the two of us, we could cover every angle of this important topic. We chose a couple of issues and now we’ll discuss. It will be based on the historical Lincoln/Douglass Debate except without dignity, intelligence or substantive knowledge of any kind. There may also be name calling and inappropriate language.
What are Pajama Jeans?
Lydia: PajamaJeans are a pants that are said to be as comfortable as pajama pants to wear but look exactly like jeans. According to the advertisement, they are basically indistinguishable from jeans, but are comfy and cozy like your favorite flannel PJ bottoms.
Kate: PajamaJeans are yet another wildly unsuccessful attempt to combine two things that should never, ever be paired together. You know what looks like jeans? Jeans! And you know what shouldn’t look like jeans? Pajamas. Saying that they’re indistinguishable is like saying there’s really no difference between Jon Hamm and *a* ham.
Pajama Jeans can be accessorized to look snazzy.
Kate: Totally! Add a themed sweater with knobby balls and a gross over-reaching of candy canes or jack o'lanters or shamrocks or whatever holiday you're going for these days, some striped socks with the individual toe pockets, a pair of clogs made solely out of a hunk of tree bark and a freshly skinned bunny, a headband with those sproingy alien antennas bouncing on the top of your head, no bra, yesterday's makeup highlighting today's wrinkles and neon green chipped nail polish. By comparison, your "jeans" will look incredible. You'll totally be the best dressed mom in the whack ward of St. Crazy's.
Lydia: Dial it back there, Kate. It's possible. I have totally snazzed up my yoga pants. Remember that time I wore them on TV with the clogs you gave me? Remember that? When you just shook your head over and over again because I was wearing yoga pants and clogs on TV with you? And then you were you like "Well...at least they're not Pajama Jeans" and I was all "Not this time, anyway!"
Pajama Jeans are an improvement over wearing actual pajamas in public.
Kate: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. For the record, I’ll concede the point that PajamaJeans would be an improvement over the feline “Singin’ in the Rain” homage…but I’m pretty sure I’d rather take my chances and just go through the Kiss ‘n’ Ride line bare ass naked first. With actual crocodiles on my feet.
Pajama Jeans make your ass look good.
Kate: Says who? Says the ad? Ummm, what are they going to say? “Warning: should you actually sleep in these, and you’re one to flail about in bed like you’re wrestling an alligator in a death roll, you’ll wake up with the waistband twisted so far that the tag is embedded in your bellybutton and the pants wedged up to your crotch, there’s a decent chance that the fabric will be so stretched out that your ass will look like it’s melting down the backs of your knees. You might not want to consult a mirror. Ever again.”
Lydia: Yes, Kate. Says the ad. I have seen that ad about 400 times now and I’m starting to believe all the things that is says. They say that they flatter every type of ass. I mean type of "figure". We all know they really mean "ass". I know that it’s no better than my kids' annoyingly Pavlovian response to the Moon Sand commercial but the PajamaJeans ad is just so… convincing. They do make her ass look good. You know what else? They would be good for travel because they wouldn’t get wrinkly. Then again… jeans don’t get wrinkly. And those models have skinny thighs that don’t seem to touch. And totally flat tummies. Awwww CRAP.
Pajama Jeans are too expensive.
And now it's time for MommyLand to weigh in on PajamaJeans.
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