But there are a few things we can agree on. Moms, go through your wardrobe, and if you have any of these things, you might want to consider
"Oh, Mom...I know it's the bride's day and all, but how can I possibly compete? After all, not only are you the Mother of the Bride, you're also the band. Stan loves him some accordion polka."
Boys are Trouble? We kinda think a lack of fabric and some
overstressed thread might be slightly more troublesome here.
Maybe it's just us, but why would you draw attention to your ass with
things that say "Alabama" or possibly "Mama...body" And if it does say "Mama...body"
can we just get a new mascot? Please?
"Sweetheart, be a little love and get Mummy another MaiTai. I'm feeling festive...I may also have lost feeling below my knees. And I'm pretty sure that oversized dreidels used as purses is mixing one too many religions together. Baby? Where's my cocktail? Is it Christmas yet? I think my keys are under my skirt..."
Kate thought she'd look hot in skinny jeans and a pair of heels.
She actually felt a little chilly. Especially when she bent over.
Two Words: Consider. Pants.
"They are not just Crocs, Kate. They are embellished Crocs and I love them." - Lydia
For Christmas, Timmy gave his mom a swimsuit coverup. She gave him
a therapist. She doesn't have the coverup anymore. He kept the therapist.
Normally, we wouldn't advocate for mom-jeans. You know, the high waisted kind that come up to your armpits? But in this case, we're going to say OH HELLS YEAH MOM JEANS. Because these underpants are so tramp-tastic they make her coin slot look like its been modified to accept dollar bills - singles only.
"So, I just left the Swap Meet. I traded in my denim jacket for fake mink,
my shoes for the amputated feet of a moutain goat, and
baby Charlotte for a dog! But I totally kept the stroller. What?"
Rule of Thumb: When you get dressed, the tags. go. in. the. back.
Better Rule of Thumb: Leave the whack to Bjork.
xoxo Kate and Lydia(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010