Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Moms Who've Done Lost Their Minds

Everyone once in a while, we all lose our schmidt. We yell or stomp around or slam a door and then ten minutes later feel totally ashamed.  Thank goodness, we now know that we're not alone in this.  Perhaps sometimes we just get overwhelmed with the demands of kids and house and husbands and jobs and other stuff and something sets us over the edge and we snap a little. 

But let's put things in perspective.  Having a mommy-tantrum (momtrum) and hollering "I AM DONE! Mommy is taking a time-out!" And then locking yourself in your room with a glass of wine for 20 minutes while kids play Wii is comparatively small potatoes. Because in the past three days, we've heard of three moms who have made some questionable choices when they lost their tempers...

We all understand that you're not supposed to block the lane at the Kiss n Ride.
Last week during morning drop off at an elementary school in Greenville, NC - one mom allegedly pulled a gun on another.  Here's what was reported earlier this week.  Mom #1 pulls up in the drop off lane effectively blocking anyone else from letting their kids out.  Nothing happens for a few minutes.  People in the line start to get antsy.  Then first-mom-in-line slowly gets out of her car and lets her kid out.  A collective sigh of frustration is heard from the now long line of irritated early morning drivers.  Then first-in-line-mom pulls her car up about five feet. And just stops, blocking the lane.  So no one can go anywhere.  The woman in the car behind her finally snaps, taps her horn and starts complaining.  They yell at each other.  First-mom-in-line responds to being yelled at by walking back to her car and pulling out a gun. 

Let's start by saying that those of us who use the Kiss'n'Ride can totally understand how its possible to lose your damn mind on a bad day. I am reminded of an incident with Kate from last year whereby she renamed it the "Kiss My Ass and Ride".  I mean, Kate is from Texas.  Kate likes guns and knows how to use them. [Editor's Note: Conversely, I'm from NJ and think they're loud and scary. Lydia]  But even Kate knows not to pull a gun on someone at an elementary school in front of a bunch of little kids. I mean come on.  She takes that aggression and channels it appropriately.  Into seething, ranting blog posts.  Oh hold on a minute...

I teach high school and I totally hate teenagers. Including yours. Wait. What are you mad about?
A high school teacher named Natalie Monroe in Bucks County, PA was just busted for writing a blog where she occasionally ranted about her students. She seems pretty cool to us.  She's a public school teacher.  Plus she's really pregnant. Plus, a lot of teenagers really are truly horrifying.  And we think it goes without saying that if anyone on earth could understand how some bloggy ranting could bring down your blood pressure and improve your mental health, it's us.  So we were all - why did they suspend her from her job?

Here are some snippets of things she wrote about her students, taken from an article on

Among the 39 barbs she listed:

  • "I hear the trash company is hiring."
  • "I called out sick a couple of days just to avoid your son."
  • "Rude, beligerent [sic], argumentative f**k."
  • "Just as bad as his sibling. Don't you know how to raise kids?"
  • "Asked too many questions and took too long to ask them. The bell means it's time to leave!"
  • "Nowhere near as good as her sibling. Are you sure they're related?"
  • "Shy isn't cute in 11th grade; it's annoying. Must learn to advocate for himself instead of having Mommy do it."
  • "Too smart for her own good and refuses to play the school 'game' such that she'll never live up to her true potential here."
  • "Am concerned that your kid is going to come in one day and open fire on the school. (Wish I was kidding.)"

Munroe concluded: "These comments, I think, would serve me well when filling out the cards. Only, I don't think parents want to hear these truths. Thus, the old addage [sic] ... if you don't have anything nice to say ... say 'cooperative in class.' "

OH SNAP.  So here's why even though we're sorta sympathetic to Natalie Monroe, we totally feel like she needs a check up from the neck up.  Because we're pretty sure she's validated every kid's fear that their teachers hate their jobs, hate their students and wish they'd just shut up and go away. And since she says stuff like that about her students, we'd rather she didn't teach our rotten kids because even though they can be monsters we'd freak the freak out if we ever heard a grown up talk about them like that.  Oh, and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong:

A cleavage fight? Oh even yesser
So a mom goes into a high school in Bradenton, Florida and apparently is offended that another mother is wearing a shirt that may be flashing the girls a little too much. Innocent enough, right? I mean, we've all been to places where we see another mom wearing something that maybe should be left to college students [Ahem. Kate....]  and maybe we even catch the eye of another mom and we share a silent Maude face together.

Nope. Laura Camponello decided to pick a fight, and tell the first mom to cover up.Then a cop showed up, because we're pretty sure there's a rule about not arguing about boobies in high school, and Campanello asked the deputy to impose a dress code on the other mom. The deputy said there was nothing he could do about it, because he couldn't "tell her what to wear as long as she is not exposing herself."

That's when Campanello allegedly pulled down her blouse and stated, "Oh, then I can." As if that wasn't enough, she then squeezed her breasts together, saying, "And then I can just do this."

Oh, and her husband was there when it happened. And the registrar, and an office assistant, and two other parents. She's now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and that she, 'intends to sue the school, sheriff, and jail for their mistreatment of her.' 

Ummm, whuck? Let me get this straight. This mom went into a high school where her 17-year old son is currently matriculating and attempting to not be awkward nor embarrassed by basically everything in life - particularly his parents - and then picks a fight with another mom over exposing too much skin, which necessitates the police showing up, and then proves the validity of her argument by flashing her boobs?
And now she's suing them for PTSD? We imagine this is the exact lawsuit your son and soon-to-be ex-husband will be filing against you. Please let us put a Vegas-style bet on who we think is going to win. Lydia has her eyes on a new pair of yoga pants...

So if you've been feeling lately like you're about to lose your mind, we hope these cautionary tales have helped just a little.  Unless you've been running around waving around a gun with your jugs out while blogging nasty things about other people's kids - at least you're ahead of these three.

xo,  K&L

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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