Friday, March 18, 2011

I Don't Give A Fig. Yes, It's Been *That* Kind of Day

This week something to happened to Kate and Lydia.  Maybe it was due to a chronic lack of sleep.  Or the the cold, nasty weather making a return visit.  Or kids making bad choices at school and the hit our parenting self-esteem takes as a result.  Maybe it was having to do taxes.  Maybe it was discovering the laundry that was supposed to be clean had recently been peed on by a surly, geriatric cat. 

Maybe it was the day the dishwasher had to be loaded and unloaded four times and no one would help. Or the fact that mommy ran a fever and after nursing other people for two solid months, nobody brought her any soup or let her sit on the couch under a blanket for more than three minutes.

Maybe it was turning on the TV and seeing that the world has gone completely topsy turvy and its awful and scary and crazy as hell and we're not even talking about Mr. Tiger Blood.
Or it might have been the steaming pile of poo we found on the floor.  Or the nice puddle of warm we stepped in. The point is, it is all too much.  The WTF moments have strung together into one giant F week and we have officially lost the ability to deal with it. 

That became evident when the following text exchange took place:

Kate: I think I'm about to lose my mind.
Lydia: I think I'm going to run away from home.
Kate: If you run away from home, you're taking me with you.
Lydia: If I bring you, who will take care of the children?
Kate: Good point. Maybe we can find a kennel?
Lydia: I don't even care anymore. Too tired.
Kate: Dishes go INSIDE the dishwasher. Why is that hard?
Lydia: I threw some dishes out this morning. They needed scrubbing.
Kate: I know. I had a "f*ck it" moment right after lunch.
Lydia: Whatevs. My f*ck it meter is broken and I don't give a fig.

Don't believe us? This is Lydia's meter and its clearly broken.  She hit it with a bat.

We know you want to judge us.  It's OK. Now that the moment has passed, we want to judge us too.  But everyone has days when they just can't deal and they're like: I. AM. SO. DONE. Then you (hopefully) start to feel better and you get your mojo back.  But for that hour or day or week when your eff it all meter is out of whack, it's not that fun.  And it's not that fun to be around.

Oh dear.  Please tell us this is not another one of those times when we think other people are going to be all nodding and like "I totally get it" when in fact they're trying not to make eye contact with us because we're either scaring them or else they're rolling their eyes at our ridiculous self-indulgence. 

No. Forget it.  Everyone who's honest knows there are moments like that. We all have them.  Anyone who says differently is a being a Paltrow.  Here are some examples of  when you know you've lost the ability to give a fig.  Perhaps you'll see yourself in one of these moments and feel a little better that there are others, like us, far more idiotic than you.
  • I asked my husband the last time either of us changed baby's diaper.  He was like: "Never." Then we just stared at the TV.
  • After sweeping, vacuuming and mopping the kitchen, I sat down to have a quick rest.  Then the baby dumped an entire brand new box Honey Nut Cheerios all over the floor.  I watched the rest of The Real Housewives before I did squat about it.  Because Honey Nut Cheerios is a healthy snack. 
  • The children thought it would be fun to play a game they like to call Land Diving, which involves rolling down the muddy hills in their school clothes. My backyard now looks like Woodstock.
  • I got out my favorite spring time shoes and discovered that my feet have grown just enough during my last pregnancy that now the shoes have to be retired. Forever. Lemme get this straight - my brain shrinks, but my feet grow? Isn't it not enough that my boobs elongate?
  • I used a can of condensed milk instead of evaporated milk in my homemade Macaroni 'n' Cheese. Now I have to call Dominos.
  • I caught one of the kids at the kitchen table playing with a "fossil" from the backyard. It was a petrified dog turd.
  • One of my kids smacked the other one. The offended child came up to tell me all about it. I said, "Go downstairs and tell your brother that Mommy said to hit you again."
    Yes. It was Mini.
  • I finally nursed the kids back to health. No one was any longer sneezing, dripping, coughing, hacking, infected or feverish. Then my son vomited all over his sister.
  • I came out of the bathroom to hear my youngest child singing "Yummy cheese! Yummy cheese!" She'd taken four wedges of spreadable Laughing Cow cheese and was using it as play dough.  I just raised one eyebrow and was like: "Just make sure you eat it all."
    •  I gave up drinking for Lent. A better idea would have been to just stab myself in the neck.
      (c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011


      1. I feel like I have those moments every day. Today I just gave up and curled up on the couch for a while with a blanket and dozed off while my kids thankfully (at least as far as I know) played relatively nicely together. Oh, and I'm knocked up so I've basically given up drinking for way too long. There have been more days during this pg when I've wished I could have a drink than with either of my other two. It just gets harder to not drink the more kids you have! Oh, and today my kids ate granola bars for breakfast, chicken nuggets for lunch, pizza for dinner, and snacks were cheerios and goldfish. No one had a vagetable anywhere in sight today. And it was gorgeous outside and I didn't take them out to play because I was too busy asleep on the couch. Ooops. Also, MAJOR mommy guilt.

      2. I am having the same week. Maybe it's the full moon.

      3. Mrs. Coupon, I do hope you used a coupon for that cheese. I dunno about up there in fancy DC, but down here in Bama that cheese is $4.19 a pop at the Daphne Winn-Dixie. And, yes, I totally got some the other day. French onion. No coupon...but the crackers were B1G1, and I used a $10 off a $50 purchase coupon, so hubs can't complain. Lol.
        But yea. Totally feeling this post, ladies. Add: leaving the baby with your hubby who really should be sleeping b/c he works tonight...and not really caring how long it takes to get 3 things at Wal-Mart b/c he's the sucker who said he would watch the baby and I. AM. A.-LONE. =) Don't worry, they were both laying in bed when I got back. She was watching Sesame Street. He was watching something super actiony on the laptop. They were on their tummies with their chins rested on the mattress like a mirror image. And then I got to change a soaked diaper. >.< *sigh* Also, darling husband, potato chips and animal crackers are not breakfast. There is baby food directly above the chips. Grab a jar of peaches. I'm going back to bed. =p

      4. This is totally my day today. Ok, well not totally, since none of those particular things have happened. But its definitely one of THOSE kind of days. And sadly, its only half over for me at this point, as we are currently stationed on Okinawa, so its only 230 in the afternoon here. awesome.

      5. What is up with this week? Thank you for introducing me to furkitty, because otherwise my child would be fluent in the wrong kind of French after this week. And. It's. Not. Over.

      6. I gave up YELLING for Lent, and I'm not doing a very good job with it. I understand.

      7. Thank God I'm not the only one! Days/weeks like this I harbor fantasies of getting in my car and just driving away -- ALONE.

      8. Oh dear Maude, YES. I've been having a f*ck it all kind of month. No, wait, YEAR. I give up. I surrender. Sign me up for the getaway car and a case of wine at the shady motel where all the fed-up moms will be hiding out. Said motel should be in paradise. (Kate, I suggest you huff Sharpies while the rest of us slip into a happy, happy t-box haze...)

      9. Hi girls,

        I don´t give a fig. anymore about many things, some of them are: dust, dirty stove, baby grabing the pacifier from the floor and putting straight in her mouth, tons of laundry, all my windows and doors have drool or any other kind of i don´t know what, cave drawings and stickers on the walls, fridge, etc..., making beds,... etc, etc,..
        Believe it costed me a while to not be disturbed with so many things, and i many times feel like a solitary warrior fighting against the chaos.. :):) i totally feel this post.

        And, if you girls are going to run away home, can I join you?

        Thanks for the great idea of throwing things out when they have to be scrubed! Maybe I´ll start this weekend!


      10. Holy Mother of Maude.

        Me too.
        My son got sent home from school sick -- but he wasn't. THe secretary just didn't KNOW HOW TO READ A THERMOMETER. Yup.

        Then I had things scheduled (which _I_ had done to myself) during my typical rest times. And so on.
        And then the kid (the non-sick one) had a Dr's appointment. And my husband doesn't seem to notice that all those clothes? On the floor? They're dirty.
        And that We Have The Technology to do something about that.

        Oh -- and half of my clients forgot they needed to pay this month.

        And my parents drunk dialed me last night from an Irish pub. THREE TIMES. While I was working.

        ...... OMG.
        I know what's happening!

        It's the SUPER MOON! IT's the ultimate full moon of all time!

        ____respectful silence at the power of the moon____

        --kate in Michigan

      11. My 7 year old informed me I've been taking too many "Mommy time outs" this week. I told her that we could start alternating - she takes a time out, then me - repeat. Because if I have to be in the same room as her drama for one minute more --- it will be bad.

      12. "A solitary warrior fighting against the chaos"

        Word, Jurema. Word to all mothers.

      13. I blame everything that has happened this week on Daylight Savings Time. Is that logical or sane? Probably not, but I'm having the same week you guys are having so I'm SO there on the give a f*ck meter. Lemme know if you find a kennel to watch the kids cuz I am SO there

      14. Oh, you are SO not alone.

        We've had one of those weeks here too. School was out all week and it rained non-stop so nobody could go outside. So the kids turned on each other like gladiators and I spent the whole week just trying to keep everyone alive and without permanent scars left by a sibling. And the 2yo has been on an especially vigilant crusade to destroy everything and to refuse to obey anything.

        My "F" meter had a nuclear meltdown...

        Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!

      15. Um yeah, I've totally had those days. This week - which I couls SWEAR was over yesterday instead of today - has been a constant battle with the two year old. I'm a terrible mommy for trying to clean dried up snot off her face, and she's literally been kicking and screaming when I dab her nose more than once with a Kleenex. Doesn't sound so bad, except her nose is a freaking faucet so this battle goes on ALL.DAY.LONG. Gah!

      16. I am laughing and crying at the same time because it all rings SO true...because trying to keep up with a house and SIX (not-so-little)rugrats isn't enough - I decided that starting grad school would perhaps be the wise thing to do while the husband is deployed (for a year). Whuck?!? I know...I left my brain somewhere...or all of those children sucked it clean outa me. That has to be it. Because THEY are the smartest things that EVER walked the planet, and I have become dumb as a box of rocks.

        I LOVE my morning dose of the Mommies! Thanks for the I have to go clean off yesterday's mascara that is running down my cheeks...

      17. You're not alone. I screamed at my boys for 15 minutes before I realized that the windows were open to my perfect acoustics development. So I'm sure the sound of me losing my schmidt carried to the whole neighborhood and my new nickname is "The Screaming B*tch".

      18. A friend and I decided we had enough on Monday and were planning a trip to Vegas. While we were looking at plane fare I realized I spent all my traveling money on pretty things on the internet.

      19. It's the month of the Fig. I totally get it. And I'm not one to curse either, but I TOTALLY get it.

      20. I totally get it. I am going away next weekend for a GWA (Girls weekend away). When one of my mommy friends replied to the group email that she couldn't leave until 5:40pm I lost my schmidt and turned on one of my own. I was indignant and demanded that we leave EARLIER! I later repealed that demand and haven't commented on any timing issues since. I am on fragile ground and figure it's best to keep quiet before they kick me out of the weekend altogether. It has been a long winter!

      21. Oh. I hear you. I think we have been sick forever. Last night, my husband, my daughter and I all got the stomach bug that my two boys had last weekish. I have so much disgusting laundry.... on top of a house that hasn't been cleaned for over 2 weeks because of everyone being sick which turns the baby into a clingy mess... I just want to throw everything away and start over.

      22. Oh thank god...i thought it was just me this week!! Misery loves company ladies :)

      23. I'm having a f-it month. My 3.5 year old... oy. He's going to push me off the deep end. He doesn't sleep. Or nap. Ever. So he acts like a turd all day.

        It has gotten so bad that I went to visit the ped without him to discuss the sleep and behavior issues. Yup, I'm the nut at the ped without a kid.

      24. It's good to know i'm not the only one. I had to deal with being sick, with a 2 year old who had a double ear infection and bronchitis, a husband taking final exams all week for his masters degree and to top it off, it's all compounded by being 6 months prego with a giant womb gremlin who seems to think that it's ok to kick be in the stomach every time I eat something he doesn't approve of. I waited until my husband got home, said "mommy needs a time out", and after the kid went to sleep, I played call of duty and bioshock on the xbox. For some reason, killing giant robots really seemed to help.

      25. LOL @ I caught one of the kids at the kitchen table playing with a "fossil" from the backyard. It was a petrified dog turd.

        You kill me. hahaha

      26. Give up giving up for the rest of Lent. Wine is Mommy's juice! I routinely lose my Schmidt and I even feel bad about it 2 times out of 10. That's pretty good, right?

      27. I've had that week...all week! It has been spring break for us, and as a teacher, that means my week off, too! My husband has to work, though, and with the price of gas (and living in the boonies) that means we can't go anywhere! I actually yelled "I QUIT!" at my kids the other day after trying to do something fun, a trip to the park which resulted in 3 complaining, whining kids, and once really grouchy mom. If you want to sit on your hineys and whine all week, fine, but I'm not doing it!!! (yea, I know I'm whining, too...loosing my mind here!) Is it terrible that I'm looking forward to going back to my 47 students (3 different classes) next week just to get away from my 3 at home??

      28. Me too. And to top it all off, I joined some crazy ass health nut challenge on SparkPeople and now I have to walk/run a freakin mile every freakin day and do squats and pee myself doing freakin jumping jacks, and talk about boobs elongating? Jumping jacks. Damn. And wait, there's more. I joined tae Kwan Do. I have lost my own damn mind.

        And now here I sit, watching the Today show and there are gay drag queens singing and the ugly man on the end looks better in his blue dress than I do in mind. Yay.

        Heh. And I have learned it's not just us. The news caster just said "6 people were trapped on large, frozen, ice." Really? Frozen ice? Imagine.

        I know I'll never get through this day without telling someone to suck it.

      29. If you make a wine slushy and eat it with a spoon, is that still drinking? :-) Although really I have no sympathy. I am 24 weeks pregnant...that means its been about 20 weeks since I last had an adult beverage. And I have 16 more weeks to go before I can drink without feeling trememdous mommy guilt and getting the stink eye from everyone in the room. My husband drank a Bud Light Lime in front of me last night, which is my second favorite warm weather drink next to a T-Box. He had to hold it way high over my head until I regained my sense of self control because I almost tackled him for it. So forty days schmorty days. They'll be over before you know it. :-)

      30. I gave up Swearing for Lent. How dumb was that? Dumbest.Ever.Decision. and...a major daily fail. Opps.

      31. On top of it husband has a cold! Why-o-why can't it be the kids or I who are sick??? Men SUCK at being sick!

      32. I spent an hour and a half yesterday hunched over the toilet at the pediatrician holding the cup and trying to coax my six year old to pee (she has a bladder infection and it hurt too much). Then I came home and my 10 year old came down with some sort of stomach flu. I spend the night cleaning up barf (he kept not quite getting to the toilet in time) and washing towels. I TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY know the feeling you describe.

      33. Oh yes, how's this for dumb Lent - I gave up whining. As in I have to be nice about it when I lost it. God help us all.

      34. I am so with you. I want a do-over for the whole week, then I want a vacation someplace tropical without the kids.

        I'm at the point where, when I read the kennel comment, I thought "yeah, that would totally work! My oldest would need the biggest crate but I'm sure the other kids would fit in regular dog crates and the baby would think it was fun! Just throw in a ball and some treats... no, wait, that's probably illegal. Rats."

      35. When my two were very little I had a daily meter of how close I was to pulling a Marie Osmond. And it was not a joke. Now my thing is to say to myself "I want to go home" when having a bad day. Of course I am home, my supposed grown up with family home. Not my childhood home where someone is taking care of me. Nor my carefree single apartment.

      36. I gave up being a normal person for Lent...oh wait, I started doing that 5 years ago after giving birth.

        Mommyland is enough of a sacrifice. Go get yourself a Filet o Fish and a Shamrock shake. There. I said it. Now you must get it.

        Happy Friday!

      37. Ugh! It has been an f-it kind of year! Between the multiple rounds of sickness (could this be the first full week I've worked since the new year?), potty training my 2 1/2 year old and being 33 weeks pregnant, I have NO patience. It's just gone. Eff this, eff that, eff it all. Glad to know I'm not alone. :)

      38. Oh, super well-timed post. I've had fantasies of sitting alone on a desert island by myself. Except maybe a power source and my ipod so I can play angry birds. I've been hating myself all week, I've been all scream-y and foot stomp-y at my kids, ages almost 4 and 18 months. They're doing nothing more than normal kid things, but the hubs is gone so much big boy thinks he no longer lives here, but comes to visit. We are in fact, still married, mostly happily as far as I can tell. Add in the fact that I have almost no adult conversations, except the weekly visit to OT for bb's SPD, and drop off/pick up from preschool, and I'm almost that weird lady who talks to herself in public. Awesome. With a side of sauce.

      39. I'm a stay at home dad. That alone, I realize, makes me a little off plumb. Yesterday was also my day. When my wife got home from work I was sitting on the porch. The kids were in their bedroom eating bananas (this was not a good parenting decision on my part. They asked for them and they talk quieter with full mouths)

        My wife: Still a rough day?

        Me: yep

        Wife: Where are the kids?

        Me: I sold them to traveling gypsies. I got magical beans and a potion to regrow my hair.

        Wife: Sweet! I loved your long hair.

        Me: That was the wrong answer. Dinner is bananas.

      40. I feel so much better, reading all of this. I've been on the verge of throwing the dogs out (I have three), locking the cats who hate each other into the basement together, and putting the baby in the large dog crate *with* the husband so I can just sit on the couch with chocolate and wine and watch Sex and the City on Netflix.

      41. I have days like this nearly every day. I actually asked the kids one day if they had some sort of "Gaslight" thing going on and were actually trying to drive me crazy. Being Julie, Cruise Director, a referee and the family's personal assistant can really wear you down. I've often wished we lived in a cabin in the remote woods so I don't have to remember birthdays, purchase appropriate gifts for them, remember all school functions, complete all required paperwork, schedule and remember everything from doctor's appointments to playdates, as well as, making sure both kids have clothes and shoes in the right size. Actually, I want to live in that remote cabin all by myself, like Grizzly Adams. Except I wouldn't go into town for anything, I'll just order it from Amazon and I wouldn't even talk to that raccoon and the bear. Well, I would if they came with wine and the right attitude.

      42. :::One of my kids smacked the other one. The offended child came up to tell me all about it. I said, "Go downstairs and tell your brother that Mommy said to hit you again.":::

        I am *so* using this one today. God bless you both.

      43. I am so on this team! My sister and her husband are both teachers, so while they went on a spring break road trip, I watched their two kids (3 and 1)...and my own 1 year old. And the baby is teething and the 3 year old is getting over an ear infection. And I thought they were coming home on Thursday but my sister "could swear she remembers telling me that they're coming home on Friday." Well, today is Friday, and this mommy is clocking out at 8:00 pm, come hell or high water.

        Next week will be better. Spring starts this weekend. Do you hear me, Universe? Next week *will* be better. And it *will* be spring. I DEMAND it!

      44. Me too! We are pretty much completely out of clean dishes. We have no dishwasher, and when they get to the point that they take over the sink and the only 3 INCHES of counter space I have, I just give up until my husband starts them or my mom comes over to babysit. Shoot me now.

      45. I really think it's stupid Daylight Savings Time ... every parent I talk to is having "that week". My kids haven't gotten to bed at their bedtimes all week, so they are crabby in the morning, so hubby & I get crabby. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! Thank God it's the weekend! And Kate ... seriously, find something to else to give up for Lent! You don't need all of that Catholic guilt when you're not even Catholic. I know ... I was raised Catholic, then I married a Lutheran. A lot less guilt, believe me!

      46. I sat and wept in my car tuesday morning. With both kids there, crapping their pants that Mommy had lost it. And I didn't care. BTW, it wasn't even 8 oclock. I am just recovering from the outlandish behaviour of my five year old. It sucked.

      47. It's got to be the supermoon. 'cause I'm about to hang a sign on my 6-year-old's neck announcing her free for the asking, and stand her out on the sidewalk. I found out yesterday that someone on the bus wants to file a "bully complaint" against her. Apparently, she hit a little boy (who is a year older than her, BTW) after he called her names. Yes, hitting was the wrong response to the name-calling, and she's being punished for it, but now she's a bully? WTF?

      48. You just made my totally figged up week! Just when I was ready to give up and crawl into the muddy hole my kids dug in the back yard, you gave me hope :)

      49. yes, yes, and even yesser!

        I just bitched about the kids to my bff yesterday for like and hour....and I felt petty....but MUCH better :)

      50. OMG....a girl after my own heart! Please check out my new blog. I would love it if you followed me too! I'm new at this and just getting started!
        Have a great weekend! :)

      51. This has been my's called March Break. Mwahahaha! I only have 120 minutes to go...and better to pop another Advil for the migraine...

      52. So it's not just us! My three-year-old has been driving me up.the.wall. The kid is finally taking a nap and am I in the kitchen making vegetable soup? No, ma'am. You don't want me holding a knife today. Take-out it is.
        @ramblingmommy - I only ever get to wash the kid's face by making a puppet mouth out of the washcloth and having it make silly noises--and "surprise" me by getting *my* face as well.

      53. That is hilarious, but I can also relate to the F-it meter. That is totally genius. I think I'll replace the kitchen clock with one of those, and yes, is it something in the air? I've had too many sleepless nights and now Spring Break AT HOME, no I don't want to hear about anyone going to the Bahamas. I'll be taking a trip to the garage emptying the trash more often, since the wranglers eat a lot on break. Anyway, f-it and hope we all have a good weekend.

      54. Ok...this week? It's F**k it all. Including the fig. F**k the fig, too.

        Took my daughter to see a movie. Two minutes after getting into the car? "Mommy, I'm bored. What are we going to do NOW?" We're going to play "Clean my carpet with tape on your fingers, Sweetie."

        I am so off the charts psycho I argued with my 9yo daughter about which one of us should get the better St Paddy's Day sticker.
        Go ahead. Read that again.


        Time change + Super Moon + Whackdoodle hormones = Super Psycho.

        F**k it. I need a glass of furkin wine.

      55. I think my f*ck it meter exploded this week. Here's just a sample.

        Started off on Monday by getting the kids Happy Meals for dinner. Nice mom, right? Apparently not. "Mom, I want a milkshake too." You mean in addition to the chocolate milk and animal cookies that come with it?! "Mom, I don't want chicken nuggets." You mean the ones you specifically asked for 3 minutes ago when we were ordering?! It went on like that for about 20 minutes until I finally lost my schmidt. I told the kids they should appreciate that they get ANYTHING 'cause there are people in Japan who just went through an earthquake and tsunami and have nothing.

        My Friday has ended with a record number of cuss words being said in a single breath. I'm guessing about 15 'mother f***ers' in a row, yelled at the top of my lungs in the car (w/o kids) after finishing a phone call with my clueless ex.

        Anyone who says they don't have days/weeks like yours or mine are just plain lying. And I think maybe the church would understand if you had just one drink.... (I'm catholic, so that counts as permission, right?)

      56. Meanwhile, some mothers in Japan are searching through brackish, sodden, two story debris fields for what is left of their homes; while others follow the cadaver dogs hoping to find what's left of their families. Half a million in cold, dark environmental refugee shelters with a rice ball and banana to eat for the day. Saw some of these people interviewed and what they talked about was how bad they felt for others they knew who had worse problems than they did ... like the infirm or the elderly who are having to cope.

        Just sayin' ...

      57. Do you think it's everyone?? I am glad no caravan of enterprising Egyptians came by my house this week or I might have traded my kids in a heartbeat (a la joseph and his brothers). Maybe it's because it was all leading up to the super full moon tonight?

      58. Hey, Anonymous, do you really think that the tragedies that others suffer makes our own lesser-but-significant hardships completely irrelevant? I refuse to feel guilty for sharing and accepting sympathy because my own little problems aren't as bad as those of others. I have enough guilt for my failings and bad days without you trying to add to it. The whole point of this post is that sometimes kids are maddening. Literally. They make us mad--the CRAZY mad. And it's okay that we occasionally react in a logical way to the insanity, by letting it go and dropping the ball and screwing up and saying f--k it for just a few minutes.

        I yelled too much at my kids tonight when they were whining/stalling/crying/fussing/giggling/tickling/squirming/hollering their way through bedtime. I'm so grateful and relieved to come here and find exactly what I needed to hear after a day like today! Thank you for reminding me that we all have these kinds of days, and it's okay to forgive ourselves and each other for being human!

      59. You ladies are so not alone. And thanks for posting this. I'm having this kind of day and needed to know that I'm not alone.

      60. I am nodding, staring you STRAIGHT in the eyes, and telling you to go read this, if you don't believe me:

      61. Yes, it is mind-blowingly sad that Japanese mothers are going through this trauma. Men and women are dying in Afghanistan. Trauma, trauma everywhere. HOWEVER:
        In my family, we give each other what we call "Poor BABYs." This is where you know PERFECTLY well that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, but at that precise moment, you still need someone to acknowledge that forgetting the milk in the back of the car over night, then having the dog barf on your clean work clothes, THEN having the baby have a blow-out up to the neck, down to the socks POOP is still pretty annoying. And so we say, "Oh, you poor BABY!" Regardless of how relatively insignificant the complaints are.

        Not one of us mommies has gotten through this week without imagining the horror of a mother looking for a lost, possibly dead child. We have all prayed or sent good vibes. Who couldn't?

        But we still have to take out the garbage and wipe poopy butts.
        --kate in michigan

      62. I've just discovered your blog, and have been reading, laughing, and crying for 4 hours. It is now almost 1 a.m., and I have to be up at 6:30 a.m. I will probably hate you in the morning, but right now I'm thanking God to have stumbled upon this peek into your world, and breathing a sigh of relief that I'm not alone in my crazy mommy kingdom. You really are an answered prayer. No kidding, really!

      63. @ Julie that happened to me last night! Yelling at the hubby for not helping with kids, housework looked over and all windows WIDE OPEN! Nice.

      64. Oh my gosh. A year later, it must be this particular week!! It's my comps week, 5 yr old DD is going crazy at me and my hubby, and I just want to hide in a blanket fort with a bottle of wine. Thank you, thank you, thank you all... alone in this I am not!




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