Friday, March 11, 2011
Overheard At the Preschool
Dad Parent Helper, to kid in another class: "Good morning Dianna. That's a pretty dress you're wearing. And did mommy put those pretty braids in your hair? You look so pretty."
Dianna: "I just farted."
Boy in class, to teacher: I have a little brother now!
Teacher: That's great news! What's his name?
Boy: Uhhh, I think it's Be Careful.
[Mom comes in with 4-year old, 2-year old and a baby in one of those bucket baby seats; passes by a mom and the Principal]
Mom: Every time I see a baby that tiny, I think about another one for about a half a second and then I laugh. There's no way I could go back to that again.
Principal: My uterus slams shut.
Happy's girlfriend, to Happy: Your mom is the Mommy Helper?
Girlfriend: And your dad was the Daddy Helper the other day.
Happy: Uh-huh. He's fifty-one.
Girlfriend: He looks like my grandpa.
Teacher, to class: Boys and girls. What happens when I have to call out your name in circle time?
Girl: We have to sit in the chair.
Teacher: Right, you have to sit in the chair.
Boy: And if we're still bad, then we have to take the long walk.
[kids all suddenly silent]
Girl, whispering: Where do they go on the long walk?
Boy: I don't know. They never come back.
[in Spanish class]
Teacher: What is 'mono'? [does chimpanzee arms]
Teacher: Do you know 'elefante'? [mimics having a long trunk]
Teacher: Bien! How about 'oruga'? [wiggles her finger slowly toward them]
Teacher: It's little, green, wiggles like this...
Boy: A penis?
Girl #1, to Kate: Why are you writing on your arm?
Kate: I'm taking notes.
Girl #2: Mommy says we write on paper.
Kate: Yeah, she's right. I sometimes lose paper.
Kate: Hmm, probably not. Your mom might not like that so much.
Girl #2: Happy always has drawings on his arms.
Girl #1: Yeah! Why does he get to draw on him?
Kate: Well, we think it's fun. So since I'm his Mommy, he's allowed to do it. But it might make your mommy mad.
Girl #2: That's not fair. I'm gonna ask my mom if you can draw on me. I'm going to play dress up.
Girl #1, walking away: When I'm big, I'm gonna draw all over me.
Girl #2: Me too. With marker.
New Big Brother: My mom had a baby yesterday.
Girl: My mom had a baby last year.
Boy: My brother isn't even one yet. He can't play or anything. He just cries.
Girl: My brother is one, but he doesn't play either. He cries too.
Boy: Awww man. I shoulda said I didn't want a brother.
Girl: Doesn't work. They said we have to keep him.
Boy, to friend, in rec room: Let's play basketball!
Friend: OK! I'm on your team because we're wearing the same color
Other Boy: I want to be on your team.
Another Boy: Me too!
Boy: You have to match. Hey! You have a blue shirt and you have red pants. [pointing to them] You take off your shirt and put on that shirt, and you take off your pants and --
[Kate stops writing and intervenes right as the stripping starts happening]
Kid, to Teacher, while feeding the fish: Ewww, one of the fish is dead!
Teacher: Oh, no...well, sometimes that happens. See, when animals get old, someti--
Kid: OOH! Can we have a funeral?!?! [squeals and runs off, yelling] HEY! WE GET TO HAVE A FUNERAL!
Mom, at pickup, to Teacher: Hi! [looks around room] Where's Jonah?
Teacher, looking around room, slightly panicked: Ummm, well, he was just here.
Mom: Jonah! Jonah!
Teacher, to other kids: Did you see Jonah? [lots of shaking heads] Jonah! [to mom] I know he didn't walk out. [to another teacher] Did you see Jonah in the hall? [shakes head, then goes looking] Jonah?
[Editor's Note: I did go looking too...just wanted to clarify that. -Kate]
Mom, yelling in hall: JOOOOONAHHHHHHH!
Jonah: [from behind bathroom door] I'm going poooooooo. Stop looking for me!
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011
Guru Louise and I asked you about what most teachers really want for end of the year gifts. We got hundreds of answers on Facebook , Tw...
Happy Thanksgiving week! This post is fiction. It's based loosely on personal experience but is about 95% made up. For those of us who c...
Hi and waving! It's Lydia and Louise! Did you have a good Memorial Day weekend?! We missed you! [[[awkwardly long internet hug]]] ...
So last summer, my youngest daughter (age 5) began seeing previews for a new Dora show called Dora and Friends: Into the City! Gone was th...
- This post is updated from last year! - Holy ranch balls Thanksgiving is this week. That means it's time to start dealing with ...
I sometimes think I'm the only one who wonders about bizarro things like if the Blue Wiggle is hot in real life* or what the hell happen...
It's winter and its freezing and it's always dark and everyone is sort of sick. So at my house, it is the season of watching too muc...
The title of this post should actually be: " How to Pay off a Stranger's Lay Away?" because I have no idea how to do it. Sinc...
This past Halloween, all three of my kids decided that they HAD to be something extra special. Something so special, in fact, that it was ...
We’ve had a lot of people ask us to write a post about the seemingly innocent topic of the Mother-in-Law. Seriously, people? Are you kidding...