Thursday, March 17, 2011

You Know What You Need?

 First of all, Kate and I would like wish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day and say "Top 'o' the morning to you" as we consider spiking our coffee with Bailey's Irish Cream.  What was that, Kate?  Right, you are not drinking because of Lent.  Isn't today supposed to be a day off?  In any case, we decided against Bailey's as our maternal duties will limit us to only post-Oprah imbibing even on this most special of holidays. Moving on...

We'd like to warn you that today's post is especially immature and stupid..

Last week I was at the grocery store and I saw something so special and awesome that I think I blacked out for a moment. I loved it so much that I took a picture of it. And then I sent it to Kate in an email. The subject line said: You know what you need? And then there was just a picture... 

And that picture said it all.

And the picture has now become part of the litany of obnoxious and inappropriate things what we say, like punjana or whuck.  And we say it (and variations of it) to each other constantly. Because we are obviously 12 year old dudes and completely idiotic.

So now every time I feel like putting Kate in her place a little bit, I ask her: "You know what you need?  A nice warm, nourishing bowl of COCK SOUP."

And look, it's even spicy.  It's spicy cock soup.  And I think that's good because I  really wouldn't want my cock soup to be bland. 

And of course it's a total rip off of Happy Gilmore, a movie made for idiotic 12 year old dudes which is of course why we love it:

We apologize in advance for being so stupid.  But we really can't help it.

xo, Lydia & Kate

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011


  1. I love you guys!!! Um girls. LOL My younger sister and I had a list of things we'd say to each other ALL.THE.TIME and to this day, we can still say "F**K you, Tiffy" and start laughing uncontrollably! We knew all the words to EVERY Tiffany song..yes...80's...I date myself. Every once in awhile we'd mess up, but we'd blame it on Tiffy. So, hence the "f you tiffy". OMG the memories. Thanks for bring that back! I am a 12 year old again.

  2. Ahhh, a nice spicy cock always does the body good.

  3. Hilarious. Right up there with an email I received the other day that seriously made my year - "not a single gram of fuck shall be given today" I so know how the poor little frog flat out on his back felt! So thats my new motto lol, does that make me a 12 year old boy too lol

  4. It's such a relief to know I am not the only immature 13 year old in the body of a mid-thirties Mommy.

  5. So, apparently my husband and I aren't alone in being 12 year old boys! We LOVE randomness. I'm so sending him this link!

  6. HAHAHA! I saw this in the food store the other day! I so badly wanted to take a picture but I didn't want to be caught snapping pics of the soup. I guess that makes me the cock's lady friend, a big chicken!

  7. This totally made my morning...I was in Walmart last week and took a VERY similar picture of "Cock Flavored Seasoning"...and posted it to Facebook because I too have the maturity level of a 12 year old boy :)

  8. I love you gals! Thank you for making it okay to have a blog post with cock soup in it. I laughed out loud today!

  9. Makes me feel better for taking a picture of a can of Spotted Dick and sending it to my husband when I was out shopping once. And yeah, Kate totally gets a pass on Lent today. My old Bishop told us that there was a dispensation for St. Patrick's Day, so we could eat corned beef even if it fell on a Friday. So, slainte, Kate!

  10. Love this post! I thought my husband and I were the only ones who quote random movies. We quote this line from Happy Gilmore ALL the time. Love it! Thanks to this, he hardly ever asks me for a glass of anything anymore because he knows what the answer is going to be. Ha!

  11. I reposted this on facebook to share with all of my inappropriate, 12-year-old-mentality friends. To my surprise, I was told that this was a sexist post and in the interest of fairness of both sexes we should consider this And this

    Bon apetit!

  12. OMG! So, so funny!! I showed the hubs and he said that this was just what I needed. What does that say about him, hhhmmmm?? I digress, I digress....

  13. Hahaha

    My husband thinks I'm weird for pointing out possibly dirty things like a middle schooler. Good to know I'm not the only one!

    And Kerry's "Bon apetit" made me think of Celebrity Jeopardy from SNL -
    Burt Reynolds: Yeah well, why don't you give me, ah.. why don'tcha give me Ape Tit for $200.

    Alex Trebek: It's not "Ape Tit." It's A Petit.. [ shakes head ] ..never mind!

  14. Hahahaaa, our son is a 12 year old boy - I'm glad his frequent idiotic behavior/rotten attitude is at least marginally normal. At least, I think I'm glad. Well, actually I'm annoyed as heck with him quite often. But at least THAT aspect of his behavior is normal, instead of his other behaviors on the Asperger's end of the autism spectrum. So normal is good, even if it's enough to make me want to trade him in for a pet rock for the next 10 years. Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that "normal for a 12 year old boy" is good. Never mind my own "12 year old boy" moments, I don't get on my own nerves nearly as much as he does. (After rereading that last sentence, I think I'm losing it. . . .)

  15. Oh my. I NEED to buy every single packet of this. What kind of store did you find it in? This will be my go-to Mother's Day gift to all my friends.

    I beg of you, please, I need to know where to find it!




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