Thursday, April 28, 2011

RFM Will Be Back, Right After These Messages...

We sent the kids back to school this week with such enthusiasm that we might have put on tap shoes and shuffle-ball-changed all the way there. Kate was like, "Enjoy homework, suckers! It's my day off!" tappity-tappity-tap-tap-tappity and then McGee yelled, "You and Lydia have to write all that other stuff today!" 

Kate would have been annoyed, but when McGee skipped across the street and into school all superior-like, Kate was standing back on the curb, happily holding McGee's lunchbox. Have a great day at school, sweetheart. Don't piss off Mommy.

So yes. We did have homework to do...and here it is:

Over at Parents Connect, Kate lets the world in on why she maybe should have lost her ability to speak after her kids were born. Because she teaches them bad things to say...and to the worst people.

Of course, even if Kate had spared the IHPs the knowledge of fantastic words and phrases, they'd all be well versed in super-duper hand gestures and facial expressions. Lefty pointed out the other day that the design on my Afghani -- Afghani? Afghan? -- rug [Editor's Note: What is it with me and this freakin' rug? McLovin hauls it all the way back from Againistan and now it just freaks me out. -Kate]  looks like it's a bunch of little hands flipping us off. And now every time I look at it, it's all hostile.

Lydia puts on her reporter hat and interviews Scary Mommy over at Maternal Ammunition. She's really not that scary and is in fact Yoda-like in her awesomeness.

And, Kate did write her news update for The Huffington Post and it's right here.  Some of our posts are having a tough time getting past our very kind editors. Maybe because Kate. makes. stuff. up.  Here's last week's post (which never made it past the editors). Because, for all you know, it just happened this afternoon. Ahh, the advantages of watching Illiterate TV. Which, by the way, is an AWESOME name for a TV channel for kids, except for the part that they could never find it, what with all the words and everything.


Baseball season is now officially in full swing, which means that, for moms all over the country, our televisions are now stuck on two distinct channels. Nickelodeon and ESPN. We figure that with the length of the baseball season, we should just be about done with the laundry right about the time our husband's teams are no longer in contention...which coincidentally is right about the time that football season starts. But it doesn't mean that we can't stay informed about what else is happening in the world. Our weekly roundup, with an homage to NBC television programs, past and present:

US and African Union officials have made it clear to Colonel More-and-More Get-Off-Me that, if he wants the bombing of his country to end, that it's time to step down and depart Libya. Since the bombing began, water and electricity have been shut off to cities held by the Libyan leader, though US officials say they will resume services if he goes. They've also made it clear that his departure from power is "non-negotiable." And, like any good dictator who is watching his people suffer through a situation not of their own making, he said no. We're starting to think he's sounding more and more like our children right before they get a spanking and get sent to their rooms for the night.

In US news, with just 41 minutes left until the federal government shut it doors, our *esteemed* elected officials shook hands on a deal that will fund the government, the troops and their own wallets for the 2011 fiscal year. Which started ten months ago. And expires at the end of this September. So, thanks Congress. It only took you a half a year to get a deal that will last a half a year. Which is laudable considering that you work three days a week, and take three weeks off for Easter Vacation. Factor in the two month hiatus this summer and the "spring recess" -- whatever that is -- and we just hope that you manage to give us the 2012 budget at some point before 2066.

Hoping things are better the second time around, former Massachusetts Governor -- and Don Draper wanna be -- Mitt Romney announced this week that he might be announcing at some point in the future that he might run for president. The presumptive Republican frontrunner made his announcement in front of an empty New Hampshire football field. Yes, because if you want to make a big announcement, it's best to do it in a place where no one is there to hear it.

Hollywood has been getting some lately. Tori Spelling announced via Twitter this week that she and husband Dean McDermott are expecting their third child.Tori tweeted, "I know there's been a lot of speculation, so I wanted everyone to hear it from me...Its official...Dean & I are PREGNANT!!!" Rumors began several weeks ago when Dean was seen around town sporting a baby bump and Tori magically grew a new pair of boobs. In other stork news, funny lady Tina Fey is expecting child number two, Victoria Beckham is awaiting a much hoped for girl - who she is reportedly going to scar for life by naming her Santa. And, "celebrity" Kimberly Stewart is reportedly pregnant with her first child with -- wait for it -- Academy Award wining actor Benecio del Toro. We think the only way this was made possible was because Benecio told Kimberly that he got an Oscar for "21 Grams" and she thought he said his friend Oscar HAD 21 grams. Could happen to anyone...

It's a love story like no other. Seems a nesting goose in a Buffalo cemetery has an unlikely sentry. In the form of a deer. Wildlife officials attempted to move a goose who had built a nest in an urn at the Forest Lawn Cemetery, but were thwarted by the buck, who is now standing guard over his feathered friend. As of yet, the deer has yet to leave her side, and rather, is positioning himself between the goose and anyone who tries to approach the nest. Officials say this could be a long wait for the deer, as the nesting season is expected to last another three weeks. But for now, it seems that the game of Buck, Buck, Goose will continue a bit longer.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011


  1. Oh my goodness!!! The news never looked so good!!

  2. Why was this rejected? Too funny? Wait, this stuff isn't true? Maybe I should quit depending on you guys for my current events updates...

  3. read all of it, and nuthin' but love love love :)

    have you all seen this? you would be AWESOME!!!!! seriously

  4. Love the "news" update, more please! (Buck, buck, goose! LOL)




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