Tuesday, April 12, 2011

SGW: Sent to the Principal's Office

Hi, Kate's sister Bianca here. Before you get all rolley-eyed and think, "oh great, WTF does the perfect sister have to share with ME about mommy’ing?" let me set a few things straight.

Yes, I am tall, but Kate is far from accurate about the perfect thing. Yes, my girls are awesome (aren't yours??) and I do have to assume that part of that awesomeness comes from me. [Editor’s Note: Aren’t you kinda hating her already? Me too… -Kate]

But as far as being perfect and all, well, you should ask Kate about the time I gave her 2nd degree burns while basting the Thanksgiving turkey, or... ummm... well, I'm sure there was something else. [Editor's Note: Hey Bianca...Remember "does it begin with a... 'M'?? That was probably equally as painful. OOH! Or the chile relleno night? You wimp.  -Kate] 

Anyway, my rant today is about my youngest daughter. She’s 12 and has this freakish memory for things that we forget the instant after it happens. Like that chick who was on Taxi and she has this perfect recollection of every day of her. whole. life. I can't even recall her birthday half the time. She can give you the daily forecast, the TV schedule and the exact time she woke up that morning at the drop of a hat. She's like the time and temperature phone number that Kate and I called incessantly when we were kids to find out if it was 80 degrees yet so we could wear shorts. [Editor’s Note: We weren’t allowed to wear shorts until it was 80 degrees outside. EVER. Didn’t matter that we lived just thisside of Hell, if the thermostat said 79, we had to roast all over the house while our mother asked us if we knew where she left her little sweater. Now, we both wear shorts when it’s 14 degrees outside.  Just. Because. We. Can. –Kate]

She can also tell you exactly what everyone had to eat the last time we visited any particular restaurant, and likely what we were wearing, too. She loves, LOVES school, is at least 10 minutes early to everything and her favorite TV channel is the Game Show Network. I think she must get that from Kate, because her favorite show when she was like 2 was The Price is Right, and she will never pass up an opportunity to watch Jeopardy with someone. Especially when she thinks – umm,  KNOWS --  she can kick your ass. [Editor’s Note: Totally true. I have an abundance of useless trivia in my head. Like, didja know that elevators, ALL ELEVATORS, bing once when they’re going up, and twice when they’re going down? It’s so blind people know which way it’s going. Awesome, isn’t it? You’re welcome. –Kate]

So, last week, I get a call from the Vice Principal at her middle school. He tells me that there was an incident at lunch and a bunch of kids were throwing fruit in the courtyard. I stop him mid-sentence and ask him if he's sure he has the right mom. Not that I don't think that my kid would throw fruit, (well, I didn't, but I was trying to avoid getting all Perfect Mommy on him) but there is another child in the 7th grade with the same first and last name as mine. They have been mixed up SEVERAL times and I was hoping that this was again the case.

Vice Principal: "The child who did this is definitely Marilu P."
[silent cursing]
Me:  *sigh* "Yes, she's mine."

He tells me that Marilu, along with the other accomplices, will have lunch detention for the next 5 days. Which mostly involves not going outside after lunch and cleaning up the cafeteria.

Yet again, Marilus kind of a freak and loves to clean, so she's more upset about not going outside than wiping down tables. I get off the phone flabbergasted and proceed to tell the story to my friend who is with me. "Throwing fruit??? At other kids?? Whuck?? Who IS this child?" 

I am home before she gets home from school (Thank Maude for an older sister who drives carpool!) (and STOP rolling your eyes!) Marilu comes running in my room hyperventilating, crying, writhing on the floor saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" over and over again. Yes, she can also be a bit dramatic at times. [Editor's Note: Ahhh, finally something from my end of the gene pool. Excellent. -Kate] I finally sit her down and tell her in my best mean mommy voice to stop blubbering and whining and tell me what happened.

Wait for it, here it comes.... 

Marilu: I don't know...
Me: WHAT? What do you mean you don't know? Who else was there?
Marilu: [Rattles off a bunch of names of which I only recognize one and the others are names that could be boys or girls]
Me: Who are they? Are those boys?? 
Marilu: Yes.
Me: What are you doing hanging around boys? Were you eating lunch with them? 
Marilu: Yes, ma'am [A flashback to her karate days. When she knows she's in trouble, the ‘ma'am’ comes out.]
Did they start it? 
Marilu: I guess. I don't know it just happened. Mamma, I'm so sorry!! [starts blubbering again]

In my head, I am fast-forwarding a few years when she comes home from college with a tattoo on her lower back and an "it just happened" look on her face

Me: Oh stop it! Were you throwing at other people???
Marilu: Oh no, just against the wall? 
Me: What kind of fruit was it? Where did it come from?

Marilu: Apples. I guess from someone's lunch.
Me: So, lunch detention, huh? What does that mean?
Marilu: We can't go on the playground after lunch and have to clean the tables in the cafeteria. It's so stupid because the 8th graders started a food fight after we were throwing the apples and they got the same punishment as we did! 
Me: Yeah, well, I don't care about the 8th graders. 

 I sigh and give her a hug and tell her it's OK, but that getting a call from the VP does not make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and I NEVER want to get another one. Then I tease her about throwing fruit and being as though she loses her Schmidt whenever there is not fruit in the house, I am shocked to hear that she was throwing it. She would be the one out there rescuing the sad apple slices from the torments of war and giving them a proper burial in a baggie in the trash. 

For the next hour or so, she gave me a hug and apologized every time I passed her in the house.  I am far from perfect, and the same goes for my kids. But they are awesome girls and minor incidences like this are good reminders as to how easy it is to take for granted their awesomeness. We all screw up and it's OK. A hug and kiss and an "I still love you even though you cut your sister's hair" is the best medicine for a screw up.

Now I just have to hope Marilu stays away from those boys. Or, at least learns how to decapitate them with an apple. Seems only fair.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

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