Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Help This Woman: Divorce Sucks Monkey Balls

This post isn't funny. Divorce isn't funny.  Kate's been through it (and has a blended family of awesomeness to show for it).  Lydia watched her parents go through it.  A couple of times. They say that divorce doesn't kill you, it just makes you wish you were dead.  And it really isn't funny.

This picture is at least sort of funny.
Our friend Law Momma is going through a divorce.  If you're dealing with something similar or know someone who is - check out her blog, and know that you're not alone. Her writing about her separation is riveting and meaningful and painful and beautiful.

It started at the beginning of April.  That's right, last month.  Her husband decided to leave.  So now she's on her own with their amazing 1 year old son and struggling to figure out what to do next.  Five weeks ago, her life was totally different. They were a family. Now she has to make a new life, without the man she loves.

She is getting counseling. She has found a new job and quit her old job.  She is moving home.  She's dealing really well.  But she's also heartbroken, devastated and exhausted.

We clicked on her blog yesterday and read this post. And we realized that she needs you, Mommyland.  She needs encouragement and support.  But mostly what she needs are suggestions of things she can do to make this horrible, awful, no good, very bad period of her life a little better. 

Something has to change for me.

I don’t know what it is, but something has to change. I have to do something differently or I will explode. If I keep on living the life I was living before, it is as though at any minute, my husband will burst through the door with an enormous smile and a belly laugh and announce that this was all just a bad dream.

I am moving back to the house we bought together.

I am moving back to the city we met in.
I am moving back into a world I lived so closely with him that he is wrapped into the very fibers of that life.
And I can not do that if I stay the same.
I can not just keep waiting for him to come home.

He is not coming home. I am not his home any longer.

So I need to make some changes. I need to make some changes to ME, not just to my surroundings. I need to lose weight, gain sleep, and in general find my strength again. I need to stop shedding tears over a man who stopped shedding tears for me a long, long time ago.

And I’m open for suggestions.

Give me your best suggestions and then I’ll pick my five favorite ones and we’ll vote to see what I start doing to make positive changes in my life. It can be anything… be creative.

Just give me a reason to get out of bed in the mornings and be happy for a change. Give me something I can be proud of… something separate from him. Something that is all mine.

And… GO.


One more thing - as much as we all want to square up on her soon to be ex-husband, she is trying to keep everything as civil as possible. He is the father of their son and while she has the right to go upside his head with a 2 by 4, she has instead chosen to be a grown up about it - as that is in the best interest of their little boy. So please don't make awful comments about her ex - even if he really, really deserves it.
xo, K & L

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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