Saturday, May 21, 2011

Kids' Arts and Crafts FAIL Part 4

Lydia's dead. She saw one of these materpieces and died. Kate laughed so hard she snorted coffee on her shirt and now she has a boobstain, so she might as well be dead, too. 


My daughter is now 8. Last year she made her communion and she LOVED her dress.She loved it so much that all she did was draw pictures of it.I almost choked on my damn coffee when I saw this one. Also notice the scary alien people behind the dress:

My daughter brought this home from her Christian preschool. It's called "The Big Dipper."  And yes, those are stars pouring out of the tip of the rocket. She was 4 1/2 when she made it.  It hung on the fridge for a year and a half just so that visitors could admire her rocketpenis work. 

A note from my 8 year old daughter. The front, a very sweet note. On the back, a picture of Mom’s favorite drink. I told her to please not draw that at school:

My daughter came home with this from preschool yesterday. It's a paper mache' piece of artwork she made.  She likes archeology type things and made a "bone".  That is similar to what I was thinking it was but not quite the same meaning of the word...  I will let you be the judge.

My sisters looked at me funny when I showed them this piece. Not sure what to make of it, but my daughter seemed really proud and hasn't since killed any small animals or anything. So I'm not too worried:

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011


  1. The bone. . . sweet lord . . . *snort* and my security word? redig. Nice for the archeology touch.

  2. I am so looking forward to these experiences. My daughter is only 21-months-old and just getting into artwork, so we haven't had any hard to explain pieces yet.

    These are delightfully innocent and hysterically funny. :)

  3. Hey, I have a black piece of art too!!! Actually, we have several. He has since moved on to using colors, so we hung a few of the black ones up and tell people they are from his dark period. (He is now 5).

  4. When I was in preschool, we were supposed to draw our faces on paper plates. When my mom came to pick me up, the teacher was very concerned and showed my mom which one was mine; a solid black paper plate. FWIW, I'm the color of Elmer's glue with blonde hair and blue eyes and in 27 years, my greatest threat to society has been speeding, so you're probably in the clear.

  5. My mom was concerned that even at 3 years old, I picked out only black clothes and colored everything black. Melanie means black, so she hoped that was the reasoning...

  6. the comment that goes along with the black piece is too too funny. love this series!

  7. These are hilarious! I literally lol'd at the penisrocket (I'm in Starbucks and it drew a few looks). Who can fathom the mind of child, eh?

  8. This is funny. I think their skills are a work-in-progress thing.




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