1. YES or NO: I enjoy hemorrhaging money.
2. YES or NO: My kids think it’s awesome when sunblock melts into their eyes and they get to whine in pain.
3. YES or NO: Waiting in line for several hours is an excellent opportunity to practice meditation and deep breathing.
5. YES or NO: Failing that, I feel that $50 per person is reasonable for food that is the culinary equivalent of that served at some of the nicer institutional settings in central Florida.
6. YES or NO: I live for those moments when all our hard work and sacrifice have paid off and our children stare at us with large eyes filled with... unmitigated lust for Disney-themed merchandise.
7. YES or NO: I have no problem with the fact that animatronic creatures often veer from cute to terrifying with no notice.
|Yes, you will see Princesses. And they will be MAGNIFICENT.|
9. YES or NO: Whenever I am asked the question: “Hot enough for ya?” I always respond by saying: “No. It is never EVER hot enough for me.”
10. YES or NO: When I see an adult person being paid to dress as a Disney character with a ginormous head, I squeal. But I do so silently, on the inside.
11. YES or NO: Walking between 9-14 miles per day in a sub-tropical climate is actually very good for you.
12. YES or NO: I believe in magic.
13. YES or NO: I am prepared for sporadic moments of horrifying ingratitude and brattiness from my children.
14. YES or NO: I am prepared for frequent moments when there are bursting with how happy they are and how much fun they’re having.
15. YES or NO: A vacation should leave you relaxed (due to total physical exhaustion), broke, sunburned, mildly dehydrated and with the complete adoration of your children.
You're done! That wasn't hard, was it? For every YES, give yourself ONE point. Count up your score:
0-5: You should never go to Disney World. Ever. Or Disneyland. Maybe avoid Florida altogether. You should also probably teach your kids about Disney what Lydia has taught hers about Chuck E. Cheese: “Kids, I am sorry to tell you that mommies and daddies are not allowed at Disney World. Only Grandmas and babysitters.”
|Tell your husband he can drink all the beer he wants |
IN MUTHERCRUNKING GERMANY.
Because just as soon as our finances recover, I want to go back...