Wednesday, May 4, 2011

RFM Special Report: News We *Maybe* Missed or Something

So, while we totally were aware that Kate Middleton and Prince William got married on Friday morning, we didn't necessarily include it in the week because we didn't want to make fun of it because it was awesome!

That being said, we decided, after a rigorous noodle lashing by MommyLand, that it was important to acknowledge the event and include it as a Special Report to our news roundup. So, on your mark, get set...

After nearly a decade of dating, Prince William - the heir to the heir to the British throne - married long-time girlfriend Kate Middleton at Westminster Abbey.

Four things we wish to point out:

One, Kate looked stunning in her Alexander McQueen gown. STUNNING. And that she was a commoner and that she got to look at all those super titled snitchy bitches with extra hyphens and the word "of" in their names - like Prunilla Wembly-Waxahatchie Lord Loxley of Hoohahshire - who thought they were going to marry the prince because they were *fancy* and essentially tell them to go suck it. Not that she would actually say that, of course. Because she's a PRINCESS. She just waved at them from her I'm Now A Princess carriage.

Two, Pippa Middleton has set the trend for bridesmaids, in a gorgeous ivory Alexander McQueen dress that makes Kate want to get married all over again again so she can wear it. But still to McLovin. Wanna make that extra super clear. [Editor's Note: Hi honey, know you're reading this...loooooove you.  -Kate]

Three, we sadly have to assume that Princess Beatrice maybe doesn't have mirrors. Or friends. Because that hat? Damn.

And, we know why they say "...and they lived happily ever after." Snort. Yes, we're idiots. We're also possibly fifteen year old boys. We know.'re a Duchess now. You don't have to do that. Anymore. Mind the zipper.

We now return to our regularly scheduled stupidity.

xoxo Kate and Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011


  1. I totally laughed out loud at the caption to the last picture. Hysterical.

  2. lmao! love the last caption!!

  3. HA AHAHAHAH.... And you ladies went there!!!! More the reason why I can't stop reading this!!! LOL

  4. HA HA HA HA HA HA I don't know which one is funnier...the hat, or the fact that you are both indeed 15 year old boys for managing to find a picture that awesome :) You are the greatest!!!

  5. My husband saw Princess Beatrice's hat and said, "It looks like two sperm, fighting, trying to penetrate an egg."


  6. OMG!!! The last caption KILLED me!! Seriously, I'm writing this from the hereafter now, because I suffocated from not being able to breathe during my fit of hysteria.
    Also, I loved Pippa's dress!! And Pippa's eyebrows. Kate is beautiful and all, but she should really take note from her sister on what eyebrows should look like.
    Ok, other than that, I am back to loving absolutely 100% everything about her.

  7. Oh, I also forgot this-it isn't just the "fascinators" that killed me. Their hair! So many of those rich fancy ladies had the frizziest, ugliest do's. I would think if you're going to a royal wedding, your hair would be a much bigger concern.

  8. Oh, Lydia and Kate, how do I love thee?

    Let me count the ways.

    kate in Michigan

  9. That hat was epic. It has it's own facebook page. Hahaha!

  10. Princess Beatrice? Now we know why William married a commoner. Eeek!

  11. As if I needed a reason to love you more ;)

  12. My 4-year-old son loved the royal wedding so much that he insisted on watching it again when it was rebroadcast! He totally wants one of the little page boy outfits--any idea where I could scam one? He'd look SO cute... and he totally tried to convince me to buy a magazine with Kate in all her wedding gown glory on the cover, like took it down off the rack and tried to put it in the grocery cart. My husband thinks this is just the beginning. I thought I had another ten years before he'd want pictures of pretty girls...

  13. LOL Awesome!! I have to admit, for all the glitz and glam and everything around their day, I felt a little bad for them... I remember the moments at my wedding where my husband and I had that "okay - done now, we remember why we don't see all these people very often, and i'm tired of smiling" moment... times that by a bazillion!! ...also, we would have totally been making fun of that stupid hat from the head table!!




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