10. I didn't want to fold that f*cking laundry anyway.
9. If the world is ending tomorrow, anyway, there's really no reason not to finish the bottle.
|Lydia, do you even KNOW how to smoke?|
8. I'll take two packs of Marlboro lights, please.
7. I just told my mother in law to suck it. And I'm about to call her back and do it again.
6. You know what I'm wearing on my way to hell? PajamaJeans. [How nice. Your "pants" will be so happy to be back home where they belong. Please, please tell me they'll burn in fire. Please tell me they'll burn in fire. Please tell me those f**kers will buuuuuuurn. - Kate]
5. We took the CDC's advice and we're all ready for a zombie apocalyspe. In fact, we're looking forward to it because we both have PMS and it means we get to hit things with bats.
3. Hello, Jimmy Choo? Yes, send me everything you've got. Six and a half. American Express number? Sure thing, here you go...I'll be paying that off, oh, right around the first of Never.
2. Kids, let's listen to some Lil Wayne. Suuuuuuure, of course you can say "mutherf**ker" -- it's in the song, isn't it?
1. Let's see... The best part? After a dozen years, I get the house to myself. Finally... Even if I am a zombie. I'm totally gonna watch Oprah. Zombie Oprah.
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011