
Other stuff that happened in the world this week:
Take Two...Take Three...Take Seventy-Six

Now, with the videos being released, including one that shows him huddled up in a blanket and watching himself on the video. In another video, he misses his cue -- "Uh, what's my next line, Akmed?" -- and in a third, the murthurfurkin' lights go out in the middle of his tirade. Haha. Douchebag. We sorta think that was GOD telling him to stick a sock in it already.
We Had No Idea. Is That Elvis?! Just Kidding. What Were We Talking About?
In other news, the White House is asking Pakistan for access to talk with bin Laden's widows, who are now in Pakistani custody following the raid. They're hoping the three women may divulge if bin Laden and his group were being protected and hidden by anyone within the Pakistani government. Meanwhile, the Pakistani Foreign Ministry has not given the CIA access to the wives, with some members of the Pakistani military instead criticizing the US for going into Pakistani airspace to conduct the raid without informing the government ahead of time. And, while serious questions still linger about how the most wanted man in the world was able to live in an enormous house a nine-iron away from the biggest Pakistani military academy, Pakistan says they're confident that, despite refusing to identify intelligence officers who were super close to bin Laden, they didn't know anything about anything and would really really like it if the US would instead focus on this shiny, shiny thing they're holding over here in their other hand. OH! Pretty....
If You Change My Mind, I'm the First in Line
In yet another *bold* move, former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani said he's a definite "maybe" when it comes to running for the presidency in 2012. Drawing from the presidency of Ronald Reagan, Giuliani said the US needs to return to American exceptionalism, telling a crowd of lawyers that the most important thing a leader does is tell his nation's people how to feel about themselves. Dude. You haven't even figured out how you feel about actually running for office. Maybe? Really? As for the exceptionalism, it all sounds good, but we fear that we're going to hear stuff like, "We'd really like to cut taxes, except..." and "We want universal health care, except..." and "Well, I am a happily married man, except..." and then Judith will whack you with a bat that she borrowed from that monkey, and THAT, my friends, would be exceptional.
So Happy Together
After a bumpy road of negotiations, it seems that Little Miss Moon Bat Whack-A-Doodle herself, Paula Abdul, is going back behind the judge's table and back to business [Eww, that sounded porny didn't it? Oops. -Kate] and is reuniting with Simon Cowell on The X Factor.

...and finally...
The Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour is over! Oh, wait. Don't celebrate just yet...seems that Tiger Blood himself, Charlie Sheen, has decided to take his show overseas. He told a Sydney radio station that he was planning to revamp his show a bit and take it overseas to Australia, parts of Europe and Asia. Sheen said that the European mentalities would give him more time and a little more patience to actually listen, and not "heckle me like the drunk clowns that they are..."
Dear Australia, parts of Europe and Asia,
We f**king apologize for this ass hat. But, can you keep him? Please?
Love, America.
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011