Thursday, May 26, 2011

We're Busier Than Bees AND Beavers...

Welcome back to your weekly post where we tell you what we've been doing while we weren't here and link you up to all the stuff we posted on the old interweb that wasn't here.

Kate continues to work more hours than an indentured servant except that she does in mortgage payment shoes and car payment hair.  And while she does get to eat lunch with other adults and pee alone, she is also reaping the rewards of total exhaustion and children who are grateful and appreciative for all the hours she is spending away from home.  By "grateful and appreciative" we, of course, mean petulant and pissy.

Meanwhile, at Lydia's house...  The Cap'n and Lydia continue to look for houses and their idea "move-in ready" is proving to be so widely divergent that there may soon be a regrettable incident at an open house. Also, please raise your hand if you're aware that buying or selling a house is a stress-drenched part-time job that at times is as much fun as a root canal?  Please note that Lydia did not raise her hand because she did not realize that and also because she's an idiot.

However, Lydia's mom came to visit this week and they ate Peking Duck and watched Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth.  Not actually with him.  He was in it.  In any case, Lydia is winning this week because poor Kate does nothing but work all day and then come home and work there on things like dinner and homework and laundry until the kids are in bed and then she has to go to bed because her alarm goes off at 4:30 am.

Speaking of which...Dear Alarm Clock people, Can you please devise a Smart Alarm Clock that can differentiate between the kind of waking up would be best at a particular hour of day? Like, if it's 8:57am on a school day, maybe a shrieking one that bounces around the room going "GAH! Three minutes until school! What were you thinking? Get up! Get up!" But if I'm forced to wake up right in the middle of the freakin' night because of a job, I'd love for my alarm to commiserate. "Hi Kate...sorry sweetie. It's time. I know you're super tired, but I'll play a little Chopin or something, OK? Now, make sure you actually wake up or the next alarm will be 'Hey Mickey!' and you know you're not getting that out of your head any time soon." [Editor's Note: Super. Now I have that song in my head...you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey --dun dun dun-dun - Hey Mickey! You're totally welcome.  -Kate]

But enough about us! Over at Parent's Connect, Lydia suggested some alternate names for "Terrible Two's" as they have been kicking her ass pretty hard for the last few months. Of course, something happened this week and now Lydia is terrified that three may be worse.  What is  your opinion on this - is three worse than two?

For Maternal Ammunition, we posted a (reworked, punched up, super funny and totally improved from last year) Top Ten Reasons Why Memorial Day Weekend Is Not Fun For Moms

And, from the inbox this week. Oh my Maude the stuff you girls find...

First, we're going to Istanbul! That's right! Get your...ummm, Turkish [Turkish, right? Stupid geography] stuff packed and bring an empty suitcase, because they have an entire store just for us!


And, in homage to MiniMiniMe's angelic personality, look what Lauri made for her daughter's birthday...though we're still wondering when our delivery is showing up. Oh, Lauri! We're huuuuuungryyyyy...


.
Oh good Maude. Maybe you thought they were only for women? No Here are some charming Junderpants pour homme. We're sorry about your eyes. And we're still wondering how the "dude" on the left has such an hourglass-y waistline...and has shaved...and now we're starting to think that's just a sock in...in there.

And, finally, just in case the words weren't enough, here you go:


Like we said. You're welcome.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

38 comments:

  1. And PLEASE explain to me how & why Toni Basil gets to be a judge on So You Think You Can Dance at least once a season. (and why she uses terms like "organic" and "street" so often - ugh) Just making that song should have required someone placing her in exile forever once the early 80s passed. You know - once all of us jr high cheerleaders got those routines out of our systems. Which was quickly, because COME ON.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In answer to "Is three worse than two"...I am so so so sorry....Three's are infinitely more horrible that two's. In addition to screamy tantrums, you also get a sassy backtalker. It's horrible. It's like she went from being 2 to 15. AND, I have noticed that "Turtle Syndrome" (that is the brain damage that children develop that causes you to have to herd them) begins emerging at three. Because three is the age when they want to do everything themselves and it takes 20 minutes to get on one velcro-fasten sneaker that previously took you three seconds. Oh, and of course, she takes her sweet time strolling to the front door (where the shoes are).... ::sigh::...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul but was once Constantinople been a long time gone since Constantinople why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeQ-wjDH4F4

    (That should get Hey Mickey out of your heads.)
    (You're welcome.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are three's worse than two's? Guess you've not heard of threenagers, anyway its a school morning and I have to go deal with spilled porridge and a child who has fastened herself inside a duvet cover and made a bed in the middle of the hallway

    ReplyDelete
  5. I loved your posting about Memorial Day weekend. When I was a stay at home mom, I lived for Mondays because it meant that all those people who expected me to cook, chauffeur, fetch things and entertain all weekend long were going back to school and work. Mondays were my weekend, baby!

    Now I'm working outside the home again, and while I enjoy it, there is no Monday-Funday for me anymore. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Three is infinitely worse than two, sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Three is worse than two like a c-section is worse than a vaginal delivery.

    They both suck donkey kong.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Three is worse than 2 yes yes indeedyo!!!

    And why is that guy silver and and he has no legs

    And thanks for the song I am about to cry or bang my head on the wall not sure which!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Are three's worse than two's? Oh, even yesser! So for all you new moms out there reading this, consider yourself warned, because no one ever warned me ahead of time that it got worse. They just laughed and said, "oh honey..." when I asked why the Terrible Two's weren't ening.
    Also, the 'dude' on the left has dude-ish hands and forearms, but the torso...not so much. And those pants are just SO WRONG!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes yes yes!!! Three is soooo worse than two. And that's one of those things that NO ONE tells you until you are full in the throes of it. And then you worry that all those moms with older kids were just laughing behind your back when you thought two was so bad.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My two are 13 months apart, so I spent TWO YEARS in the Terrorist Threes. Three is SO MUCH WORSE than two. Mine decided they knew everything, until it was bedtime and had to ask a bazillion questions.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Three is worse than two. Yes, yes it is. Lucky for me, I get to hit the "3's" earlier with my daughter (she's not even 2 1/2). Thanks to her older brother, she has the language skills and desire to do everything he does right now. Fantastic. I secretly put her in pigtails everyday, because she's cuter that way and I can resist yelling just a litttttttle bit longer.

    ReplyDelete
  13. As the mother of 16-year-old, let me just say: pay attention because Three comes back and rears its ugly, self-centered, "I don't want to!" head. You've been warned. (I know this because I have a 3-year-old nephew for comparison's sake.)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lauri Ladd - Marketing MommyMay 26, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    1. Three is far worse than two
    2. They make an alarm clock like that
    http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/tocky-alarm-clock
    3. I'm in Real Estate (I'm actually the Director of Marketing for a Real Estate Company) and it's hard. We should tap a t-box sometime and I could tell you some stories...wait we might need to tap two.

    ReplyDelete
  15. My DS turns 3 today. He's already worse than 2.

    Also, I'm 99% sure that guy in the junderpants is not actually a guy... I think it's the same photo they used for the woman, only photoshopped... cause there is NO way a guy can be that skinny and not have defined abs. Or have legs that skinny. "Hm... lets just add some hair here, and a bump there, and a-ha! It's guy."

    ReplyDelete
  16. 3 is WAY worse. To the point that I actually dreaded hearing him come down the stairs in the morning, b/c I had absolutely no idea what I would get. Sweet happy boy, or surly, hormonal 12 year old girl having a tantrum about nothing after only being out of bed for 2 minutes!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Love love love the cupcake. Excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks Kate, Lydia and all the other ladies for a good laugh...
    "multitasking mum of four", please tell me you got a photo of the kid in the duvet cover!

    ReplyDelete
  19. 3 is amazingly, horribly, awfully WORSE than 2. They get sassy, nasty attitudes about anything and everything. Mine is a boy, and he pitches a fit if I don't let him pick out clothes, movies, breakfast, toys.... and this is all before 8am. And I'm preggo, so I can't even tap a T-Box when I actually get him to bed. *CRYING*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Only two mood options for you when you have a three-year-old: Laughing hysterically because they are so cute and funny or pulling your hair out and screaming because they are so strong-willed and can no longer be distracted. Definitely worse than the not-so-terrible twos. Also, five isn't too fun either. My oldest (a girl) just turned 13 and so far I would take a 13-year-old over a three-year-old or a five-year-old any day. At least the 13-year-old cares when she gets punished.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I freaking loved the hey Mickey song in 1999 :D probably because I never saw the Toni basil version till now. I was of the Lolly generation :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. Three is INFINITELY worse than 2 could EVER be, and I am getting a double dose with twin girls! I honestly don't know why anyone would willingly go through this more than once (like my sister who has 4 girls, spanning 10 years) but I BOW down to you if you have or do choose to.
    I have to THANK YOU for the Mickey video though as they were about to gang up on me during my computer time and really needed that "spontaneous dance party" to throw them off.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ok let me start by lying to you- two is bad but it gets better. I promise it will be ok. :-)

    NOW the truth-
    I was told the terrible twos were it. SCREW that. I am a mom and a professional nanny. I assure you- especially with boys- two is a freakin cake walk. 3 starts the whining stage, and 4 starts the back-talking snotty attitude limit pushing stage. Apparently this prepares you for when they are teenagers, and from a friend of mine with 6 boys- they will act exactly at 14 as they did at age 4. I am NOT looking forward to that. Sorry. I have to be honest. But you know what? the moments they come to you with alligator tears and mud and snot on them and say momma I love you, kinda almost make up for it. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Someone told me that the person who coined the term "terrible twos" must have SOLD their children to gypsies before they turned three. They got out before the fit really hit the shan! My little angel/devil turns four in July. For us the worst of it was three until about yesterday. Things are slowly getting better. But the tantrums over nothing are ridiculously hilariously annoying and if that little terrorist hits me ONE.MORE.TIME....for the love of MAUDE! Ah well...at work right now, so he's someone else's problem! I'll just sip my coffee and pretend it's a t-box! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  25. In my case it depends on the child. Three was easier for my oldest boy (he's 4), but it looks like both ages are going to suck for with my youngest. He'll be 2 in September, and he's already obstinate, wanting to do things for himself, tantrums....you get the gist. The oldest one though? It's like he's 4 going on 14. Also, add to this some SPD with shades of autism, and you get something extra special. Mommy was so sad to be out of gin last night!

    I disagree on the vag vs cesarean. Maybe I knew what to expect since I did the v-back, but my hoo ha is destroyed in ways I never dreamed possible. Still. I much preferred the eviction by surgery method.

    ReplyDelete
  26. 80's fashion was brutal. Also, you may appreciate the shorts that make a few cameos in this (plus it should also help with the mickey thing).
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeG-hNXXy6I&feature=fvst

    ReplyDelete
  27. Danced on stage with the Spazmatics (local 80's cover band:http://www.thespazmatics.net/) during girls night last night...what was the song? "Hey Mickey" Had to laugh!!! (it's still stuck in my head!)

    And YES! three is worse than two!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sheeesh! Feeling sorry for the kidlets ... what with all the ferocious name calling and lack of patience for the little ones. Alternate name for the "terrible twos"? Try "terrific twos"; worked for us.

    ReplyDelete
  29. When I'm doling out the parenting advice from my rocking chair, that's the one piece of wisdom I have. 2 is a picnic compared to 3. Whatever you do as a parent, don't have a 3 year old. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh Mickey! I have Irish triplets ( 2 1/2 yr old twin boys and their 11.5 month younger sister) If 3 is worse than 2 then I'm.Going.To.Lose.My.Furkin.Mind!! I can't even read though the other comments for fear of hyperventilation so I will just take my TBox and go to my happy place, Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh yes, clearly Anonymous is Mother of the Year. Listen "lady", people come here to bitch and vent just so that we don't on our kids.

    I suppose all problems are opportunities too. Pfft.

    ReplyDelete
  32. The most exciting thing about this post to me is that there is someone else named Lauri who spells it like I do!!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I must agree with the vast majority of responses that 3 is MUCH worse than 2 (and only one person ever mentioned this ugly fact to me). With a 5 yo girl, 3 yo boy, and 21 mo old boy, I really set myself up for some frustrating years. However, with that said, I just finished reading "Setting Limits with your Strong Willed Child" by Robert MacKenzie, and my life is already easier when using the techniques he outlines. I strongly recommend this book for any parent, as it applies to any child, strong-willed or compliant. And with that said, I continue to find myself laughing to the point of tears over the posts and responses in this blog; only those extremely frustrating Mommy moments can make for such refreshing and enjoyable (and totally relatable) reading :).

    ReplyDelete
  34. House hunting! Yay! My mom sold real estate for 30 years and I learned a thing or two. One of the things I learned is that "move-in condition" is code for "please give me the LEAST possible house for my money!"

    No no no. Look for the house that in the location you want, whose owners have terrible taste. Look for butt-ugly paint, because it's easy to fix and most people can't see past it. THAT is the house you want.

    Good luck and have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  35. a note regarding alarm clocks...

    I have the BEST alarm clock in the entire world on my android phone! It's called "AlarmDroid".. you can set as many alarms as you want and you can set it to speak to you and tell you the time and date and weather or whatever you want it to say.. one of mine includes the line "if you are still in bed at this moment you better get your f***ing a** up now" lol

    I also have one set to a playlist... it picks a random song from the playlist so it's different every day. There are so many options on this thing it's amazing there's still a free version lol

    https://market.android.com/details?id=com.splunchy.android.alarmclock&feature=search_result

    as for terrible twos.. my dd's now 9 and I think they just ended somewhere around 8 1/2... lol :D

    ReplyDelete
  36. serialswooper.com - great analogy. Having had a VBAC and a 3 year old, I completely agree (so sorry to the other poster who had a sucky vag delivery).

    Also, did anyone see the junderpants and think, "Hmm, Tobias Funke would love those!" Yes, someone has been watching reruns of Arrested Development. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. I think they're called "Terrible Two's" because that's when they START. If they end I haven't yet gotten to that point and my oldest is now 11. Seriously though? I prefer two to three because at three they have a larger vocabulary and mimic more and my Pastor quit laughing at me when I said, oh no sir, "she's saying duck". Apparently at two it was believable but at three it wasn't. Now at four? We switched churches. ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Three is worse than two. Always.

    I was so pissed when I found out. I wanted to know why no one had bothered to tell me. Then, one day, I saw a friend struggling with her two-year-old, and hopefully invoking the "terrible twos" phrase. That's when I realized: no one has the HEART to tell you it only gets worse...

    ReplyDelete

ShareThis

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Popular Posts