Monday, June 27, 2011

A Dog Named WHUCK?!

This was the Woody dog, a world class sweetie.
Last year, around this time, we lost our beloved Woody dog. He was 12 and he was awesome. Our vet said he was a lab mix but I think he was also part orange donkey. I loved him very much and I miss him a lot. We all do.

Since Woody went to Jesus (yes, in my world, dogs go to Heaven), we’ve talked a lot about getting a new dog. Mostly, we’ve talked about two specific items; when we will get a new dog and what we will name it.

Our plan is wait to until Mini-Me is potty trained and in preschool, the big kids are a little older and more mature, and of course - until after we move. We haven’t found a new house yet but we are moving this summer. OH YES WE ARE. I think getting a puppy or a new dog at the beginning of the summer is a great idea as the kids can spend a lot of time with it and then they’ll go back to school, and me and my new dog can chill out together and go for walks and be best friends. So maybe next summer, maybe the summer after that.

So a couple of weeks ago at dinner, the following conversation took place:

Cap’n Coupon: When we get a new dog, what should we name it?

Hawk (6 years old): Boy or girl?

Thumbelina (8 years old): Those are both stupid names. [Rolls eyes and sighs]

Hawk: I meant is the dog a boy or a girl.

Thumbelina: I don’t care as long as it’s a baby puppy.

Hawk: Well, if it’s a girl we should name her Mrs. Frenchwire.

Lydia: Who the heck is Mrs. Frenchwire?

Hawk: [rolls eyes at my stupidity] Ummmmm... Our dog.

Lydia: Right. What if it’s a boy?

Hawk: Then we should get a Golden Retriever and name him Carl.

Thumbelina: I think we should get a Golden Retreiver and name her Collie. [Smirks, waggles eyebrows up and down]

Cap’n: Yes. Because of the irony.

Thumbelina: Exactly. I knew you’d get it. Or we could get a Lab and name her Cassy.

Mini Me [2 and a half years old]: Inna girl baby puppy dat’s glack. An Imma name her Hawk.

Cap’n: I  like black dogs, too. But I think I want to get a yellow lab like Woody and I want to name him Denver.

Lydia: Denver? Is he truck dog?

Cap’n: Well, what about Frank? I notice you haven’t suggested any names.

Lydia: I really like Carl. It can be short for the “Carl the Intern”.

Thumbelina: Yes! Or Candace! Or Phinneas! Or Ferb! Or if its really awesome and a girl we can name it Mary McGuire!

[Hawk and Thumbelina and Mini all start screaming names at each other and the situation quicky becomes a cluster with Hawk jumping out of his chair and knocking it over in vigorous defence of his idea to name the imaginary dog Carl]

Cap’n: STOP IT. You’re acting like a Canadian anarchist. Sit down and use your manners, ALL OF YOU.

Lydia: [sighs] I just want a big dog. A big, sweet dog.

Cap’n: Then we should name him TARP. So he’ll be too big to fail.

[Children laugh uproariously as if they understand the joke.  I just look confused because they can't actually get it, right? Then they all look at me like I'm stupid.]

We've been joking about Carl and Mrs. Frenchwire and TARP for the past couple of weeks. And I stupidly clung to the idea that there was respect for the plan. The plan of me not having to potty train two small creatures at once. The plan of me not having to find a new house and then pack up all our crap this summer while also obedience training four adorable blonds who don’t like to do what they're told. But no one respects my plan.

Look what the Cap’n brought home. We decided to name him Brady, because he just didn't seem like a Carl.

Dude. All the cuteness is making me light-headed.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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