Saturday, June 4, 2011

Kate & Lydia's Pool Rules

It's officially pool season.  And for our families, our lives now revolve around swim team, and jumping off the diving board for the first time, and meeting up with our buddies, and saying no when asked for ice cream for the eleventythousandth time, and of course smelling like sunblock. 

So we decided to share with you our new and improved Pool Rules.  This sign has recently been spiffed up by our friend, Mommy Shorts (who in addition to be an awesome blogger is also a graphic designer).

So, what do you think?  Are we missing anything important?

Splash on, pool rats!
xo, Kate & Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011


  1. Every pool should have that sign.

    I may even print it out and carry it in my pool bag for emergencies.

  2. Could we add something about not letting your kids (who we don't know and have never met since we have no clue who you are) climb up on my husband's lap?!? We were at the pool today and some little boy came and tried to sit on my husband's lap. The mom answered with "Oh don't mind my kids. They have no boundaries."

  3. Thanks for bringing me my one laugh on an otherwise crappy day! "Splash on, pool rats!" cracked me up.

  4. you forgot bring your OWN towels!!! you are not at a hotel!But other than that I think ya got it ;)

  5. Ha! I love the first one because the people who tend to wear "Speedos" are the ones who really shouldn't be doing so. We're not interested in seeing your "package," guys.

  6. I think you ladies must live in my neighborhood.

  7. "Please do NOT put your toddler daughter in a bikini."
    Okay, they ARE convenient when it comes to changing a swimming diaper, but can't you put her in a two piece tankini instead of a top that looks like a bra for a baby?

  8. If you made this into a t-shirt, I would totally buy it and make it my pool "uniform".

  9. **Don't be a jackhole to the lifeguards when they call break or adult swim... they do it for a reason! Otherwise, it is PERFECT!

  10. Kid ID- can we extend that request to age 18? There's no real reason your "budding" 12-14 year old needs to be wearing something not big enough for me to blow my nose on!!! I apologize to my own daughter, but we will be shopping at the antique store for your swimming suit:).

    And to the dude that keeps casually glancing at my daughter (in her rather conservative attire) and all the other girls out there, I can solve that problem for you. It's called a spork, and they are remarkable well suited for removing eyeballs. Call me an overprotective dad. I'd love a Tshirt that labeled me as that, rather than "worlds greatest dad". I think it would be much more effective.

    And double nasty curses to the mom who I overhear telling her I-really-gotta-pee-dancing five year old to go back into the pool and "let it happen" cause she didn't want to get up and bring him to the bathroom. nasties x2 to you.

  11. I agree with most of these... except for the 14 year old in a bikini one. As far as I can tell, the reason people wear bikinis is to look sexy, because they're not nearly as comfortable for swimming as a one piece. Of course people are going to look at a girl in a bikini- that's what bikinis are for. I've seen a lot of girls who are young (13-17ish)who looked MUCH older. I'd change that rule to "If you don't want creepy strangers staring at your kid, dress her age-appropriately"

  12. How about:
    Parents will be banned from the pool for the rest of the summer if your child poops in the pool and causes the 24-hr evacuation. In lieu of banishment, you can entertain my child for the rest of the day now that the pool isn't an option!

  13. Four years ago, when I was pregnant with my second kid, I was sitting in a chair on the side of the baby pool watching my daughter splash around. A small boy threw a splash ball right at me and hit me in the face. His mom apologized profusely and I laughed it off. Two weeks later we were at a different pool in our "pool network" and I was sitting on the side of the baby pool watching my daughter and a friend splash around. My daughter's friend took off her pool shoes, and I said "Bring them to me," which, of course means FLING THEM ACROSS THE POOL. One of them hit the woman sitting partially in front of me. She turned around, and darned if it wasn't the mother of the boy who beaned with me with a splash ball. She recognized me and asked if I had coached the girl to do that. We had a good laugh at the laws of Pool Karma.

  14. How about, "Big kids stay out of the baby pool. The ability to swim does not give you license to drown my kids."

  15. "And double nasty curses to the mom who I overhear telling her I-really-gotta-pee-dancing five year old to go back into the pool and "let it happen" cause she didn't want to get up and bring him to the bathroom. nasties x2 to you." LOVE IT!

  16. What about: "Your 18 month old doesn't need her own lounge chair so move her crocs off of it please"

  17. Awesome. And I disagree about Adult Swim when you have a small child. Um, my 2 year old can't hang out poolside by herself, teenager. And since I'm 30 years old, *I* don't want to sit poolside with all the other big kids running around like unsupervised felons bc their parents are leisurly floating around the pool with all the other adults who seem to use this as a break from watching their children until you "allow" me back into the water with my small child. No. THANKS. That might just be my 'hood, though...

  18. How about "just because your 15 year old has breasts bigger than the average 20 year old pole dancer doesn't mean they should fall out, cover that schmidt up or quityerbitchin about the boys ogling her, why else would you have allowed the purchase?" Also, my tween really doesn't need to see it either because he's already got Megan Fox for that, thank you.

  19. How about "Welcome to the OOL. Notice there is no "P" in OOL. Let's keep it that way." My mom (still) has that sign hanging up at her pool.

  20. Anonymous,

    That is my FAVORITE pool sign! I have seen it a few times and will be buying one if we ever get our own pool

    On another note, I have my very own overheard at the pool!
    I was sitting on the side watching my boys splash when the hubby of the family next to me announced he was going to the snack bar.

    Hubby: Hon, you want me to get you something?
    Wife: Yes, get me a soda
    Hubby: Medium?
    Wife: Yes. Not the really, really big one or the really small one.

    OK. Isn't that the definition of medium? Not the big one and not the small one?

    Either this chick is really dumb, or she thinks her husband is.
    Even my 8 year old shook his head over that one,LOL

  21. This needs to be posted ASAP at every pool I've ever been to.

  22. Men with moobs (man-boobs) must wear bikini tops. If they're under age 18, they still need to wear them. I don't want to see your junk, sure. But it's no fair showing off moobs if I have to wear a top over my genuine articles.

  23. I'm thinking you need to update the hours. None of our pools open until 11:00 around here. So for people like myself with a 4 year old and a 1 year old it goes as such:
    - 7:00-10:30 repeat to 4 year old 852 bazillion times that it's not quite time to go to the pool yet
    - 10:30-11:00 suits, sunblock, potty, lunches, car, drive…
    - 11:00-11:15 stake our claim
    - 11:15-11:30 sit in chair while both kids play happily in baby pool
    - 11:30-11:45 1 year old has pooped, must change diaper
    - 11:45-12:00 explain to 4 year old that he has to play in baby pool a little longer
    - 12:00-12:15 everyone is hungry so break for lunch
    - 12:15-12:30 fine I’ll take you in the big pool, now mommy is wet
    - 12:30-12:45 4 year old has to go potty
    - 12:45-1:00 back to the baby pool and everybody plays a minute while mommy sits
    - 1:00-1:15 wrangle tired 1 year old so 4 year old gets a little more time
    - 1:15-1:30 drag 4 year old from pool in full out hissy fit
    By my calculation our ridiculously expensive pool membership with completely unhelpful hours buys my 4 year old about an hour in the pool and if I’m lucky gets me 30 non-consecutive minutes of one eye on the magazine time and one eye on the kids time.

  24. How about, I will not lie to your nosy kids who are unsupervised in the baby pool while you tan, socialize, or just ignore them. Not about the tattoos, not about the baby daddy and conception without marriage, not about anything they happen to ask me. Or I will make up completely random things you can't explain away. Or charge 5 bucks for autographed pictures of Dora because my daughter happens to look like her. And I will not babysit them. I don't care what they do as long as it doesn't involve my kid. I will however, save them if they're drowning. (maybe. But, I will make them yell and scream and embarrass you for not paying any attention to them if they need help opening the gate. Even if I'm sitting right there.




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