Friday, June 10, 2011

Top 10 Random Whucktastic Kid Statements

I know that my kids are little weirdos and I have to say - I really like it that way.  Sometimes they'll say something, with total authority, and it is hilarious.  Every couple of days they'll say something that I'm completely unprepared for and I have to write it down or I'll forget it (because I am dumber than a sack of grass - for realz, my short term memory is approaching the level of Dory from Nemo). 

Here are a few examples of things my kids have said to me recently, that have made me go: Whuck? 

10. No! You will now call me Luke Underwire. For that is my name.

9. You're wrong, Mommy. Buffy isn't even real. The best show that ever been on TV ever, ever is Full House.

8. It's not tattling on my sister if she's being a butt.

7. Mom, when we have a really awesome family rock band, you're just going to play the xylophone.

6. There are four seasons. They're very important. One of them is salt. Another is pepper. I'm pretty sure one of the other ones is garlic.

5. It's not a whore's tash.  I don't even know what that is.  It's a horse-stache.  A horse with a mustache.  Come on, mommy.

Yah. I did it. And it smells howwible.
4. It's almost Father's Day. I really think we need to get Daddy some adult diapers this year.

3. I'm sad. Can I have a puppy?
2. Mommy says you haffa change your socks every day. But Mommy is WRONG.

1. That's not a cupholder. That's my evil experiment. I put stuff in it every day to see what happens to it. Yah. That's prolly why the van smells like that.

And just in case you wondered what one looked like...

This is a horsestache.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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