Thursday, June 2, 2011

We've Been Busy NOT Working and NOT Buying Houses and Stuff

Welcome to the Thursday post where we tell you what's going on with us and we link you up with all the other stuff we've written that doesn't get posted here.

Lydia has been dealing with house buying nonsense. She and the Cap'n put in an offer on a home they adored but their offer was rejected. Insert sad face. Because some very nice people who we hate with the fiery passion of 10,000 suns for no good reason made an offer to buy the house with cash.  Silly Lydia!  Needing a pesky mortgage and all...no house for you!

But then the Cap'n saw a fixer-upper in the same neighborhood.  He looked at it and saw some made-up stupid word that he keeps repeating. Equity or something. Whatever.  Lydia looks at it and sees work and money and contractors and frustration and pulling rusty nails out of her toddler's mouth.  Then she shared the listing and photos with her most adorable, brilliant and funny friend Michael, who sells high end real estate in Charlotte, NC and he described the house thusly: "Part Dutch Colonial, part center hall and part 7th circle of hell..."

So, that's were we are with that... NOWHERE.

Kate, in her quest to keep busy during her week off from work, has decided that doing 90 minutes of yoga in a ten thousand degree room is a good idea. And it totally is, but for the fact that her class is taught by Mango.



And, really, that's all she's done all. mur. thur. fur. kin. week. Go to hot yoga and bitch that a small man is telling her what to do...Lydia just thinks she's upset because she's letting him do it. That's what she said.

In other news....Anthony Weiner... you need our help. Because you're an idiot. What were you thinking? First you do something super Congress-y like texting a college co-ed a frontshot of Mr. Peepers, even though he was (thankfully) covered by your underpants.  You're far too literal - no one wants to see your junk, Mr. Weiner.  Actually, come to think of it, maybe you weren't literal enough. Maybe she likes hotdogs? If so, she might have thought seeing a picture of your Oscar Meyer weiner was funny.  But your wanker? No thank you. And now, we're pretty sure she doesn't want to put either anywhere near her mouth.

Ewww. Put on some pants...please.
Second of all, now you're sorta kinda but not really denying that it's you. Look, if recent history has taught you anything, it's that this stuff NEVER STAYS SECRET. Just admit it dude. First of all, we're all going to find out anyway. Secondly, it's not like it's THAT  impressive. Just come clean. And then, go take a shower, because that's what we all had to do after we saw that picture. Oh, by the way, Dial is not good for the eyeballs, so, hey douchebag, thanks for the pain. 

In other real news, over at Maternal Ammunition, Lydia wrote about what her summer plans are...which consist mostly of not losing her schmidt. Frankly, Kate thinks that is a pretty substantial goal, and has plans of not doing the same thing. Gotta keep the kids on their toes, and if they think mom is all Zen all summer, that's not a good thing.

And, at Parents Connect, the girls ponder on how much more awesome it would be if a whole village of moms got together to raise their kids. Partly because we could share the workload...but mostly because we're stupid and tired and our kids like to mouth off and maybe we could blame other people for that. In that way, we're super strategic.

But not as strategic as that Weiner weiner guy...in that regard, you're welcome.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

5 comments:

  1. My summer plans are also pretty much just not losing complete control, and I don't envy anyone buying a house. The only time I think I could handle a fixer upper is if I didn't have to live in it until it was finished and also suddenly gained a whole bucketfull of handyman skills and could do the work myself.

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  2. I just got a job! First one in YEARS! And I'm psyched to be starting the monday after school ends because I get to skip the constant daily fighting of summer vacation!!!

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  3. For the first summer in 6 years my husband gets to entertain the wild pixie and I get to run off to a nice air conditioned building filled with lots of adults to converse with, I'm wicked excited! I might be nice and work up a list of summer activities for him and then hide it in my desk.

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  4. Our summer sounds the same as Lydia's summer, except I'm not planning anything educational. Nor am I limiting TV/Wii. . . . Texas gets too dang hot to do much outside!

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  5. Hmmm... The seventh circle of hell features a river of boiling blood, some centaurs, a forest of thorn trees, harpies, angry dogs, and a burning desert that's always snowing fire. Current tenants may be violent, murderous, suicidal, blasphemous, perverts, or userers.

    But also, high ceilings! Two sinks in the master bathroom! And I think there might be hardwood under this blood-spattered linoleum...

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