And I loved my Woody dog, who died a year ago. But if I’m being totally honest, as much as I miss his woofy presence, I do not miss the work. And the mess. And the cost. Because make no mistake, I've had dogs my whole life and they take attention and focus and money and time and love. I don’t really have any of those things to spare at the moment. I’m so overwhelmed on most days by the responsibilities that I already have, that I feel like I can’t take on one more thing or I will lose my mind.
But my husband and children wanted a puppy. And nothing like reason, logic or consequences was going to dissuade them. So basically, I was overruled.
|This is Brady.|
An hour after that, I was standing on the front porch like Rafiki in The Lion King, holding him up to the neighborhood and proclaiming his awesomeness. I still tell my husband that I’m not sure we should keep him, but that’s just because I have no desire to be the one who takes him out for his 6am whiz.
So these are some of the very valid reasons I did not want a dog, and why I think now that maybe, possibly, I was a tiny, little bit wrong.
I do not need one more critter who lacks basic bladder and bowel control to live in my house.
I’m currently potty training my two year old. It’s a pretty disgusting process (Mini eats a lot of fiber). Though I am dedicated and consistent, I am also up against someone who is extremely strong-willed and defiant. Puppies are comparatively easy to potty train. And when they have an accident, they at least feel bad about it.
This puppy will eat anything; Lego mini-figs, staples, corn cobs, yarn, plastic sandwich bags. It doesn’t even have to be edible, he will eat it. Thank goodness he appears to be part goat because in spite of my fears of imminent death or the need for costly canine GI surgery, everything has passed exactly as it should. Which is both deeply horrifying and a huge relief.
Here’s the upside to owning an 11 week old Labragoat. You are forced to become obsessively tidy or risk finding some pretty interesting things on the front lawn. Also, this may be the one thing that has ever motivated my kids to consistently pick up their toys. It’s like magic.
The dog will be totally wild and uncivilized.
The dog responds well to training. He already knows several commands. The children, however? Unrepentant howler monkeys who only occasionally remember their good manners. Also, last week, Mini Me caused major property damage because I took my eyes off her for three seconds. So far the only thing the dog has damaged is a Lego Mini-fig and technically, that still could have been used if I were a different sort of person.
I will be the one taking total responsibility for this animal because the kids are too young and you are always at work.
Yes, I am the primary care giver to this dog. But the rest of the family is actually pulling their weight where puppy care in concerned, because this was all their idea and so they have to. But honestly, the kids are helpful with minimal nagging and my husband realizes that once he gets home, he is on duty. Also with minimal nudging. At least for now. But I swear before all that is holy, that I will not let them off the hook.
|I told you. Don't EVEN mess around.|
Oh no. Did I just really write that? Maybe this puppy is a gateway drug for other things. Like new humans.
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