Sunday, November 13, 2011
Top Ten Reasons Why 3 is Worse Than 2
But this is the interwebs and I can't see you. So I'm going to tell you the truth. Three is a lot worse than two and here's why:
1. Three is two with intent.
2. The good news is, they can speak. Oh wait did I say good news? Guess who can parrot an overheard curse word perfectly? Except now they can do it understanding the importance of timing.
3. They’re mostly potty trained. Of course that also means that when they crap on the floor, it's even more disgusting and they’ve probably done it on purpose.
4. Their lungs are bigger. Therefore, the tantrums are louder – especially in public. They also are perfectly aware of what annoys and humiliates you. They know... Oh, they know.
8. They're independent and doing more things for themselves, which means that doing anything now takes approximately forever.
9. They're smart. So you can no longer trick them into eating healthy things or playing quietly while you try to gather your shattered nerves. Also, they’re self-aware enough to weigh the consequences and take what’s coming to them. Flooding the bathroom floor is totally worth ten minutes in time out.
10. Are you ready to leave your house? Well, your toddler isn't. Are you ready to walk down the street? Your toddler isn't. Is it time for you to leave the playground? Well, your toddler really, really isn't. And that's why we call it turtle herding.
I speak the truth, hookers. I'm really sorry. And you're welcome.
But at least now you're prepared. Maybe.
From Memorial Day until late July of every year, my family is consumed with summer swim team, also known as the Water Cult. For the past c...
Guru Louise and I asked you about what most teachers really want for end of the year gifts. We got hundreds of answers on Facebook , Tw...
So last summer, my youngest daughter (age 5) began seeing previews for a new Dora show called Dora and Friends: Into the City! Gone was th...
Last Friday, roughly 25% of the second grade at my kids' school was sent home with a nasty stomach bug that had kids puking in buckets...
It's winter and its freezing and it's always dark and everyone is sort of sick. So at my house, it is the season of watching too muc...
We’ve had a lot of people ask us to write a post about the seemingly innocent topic of the Mother-in-Law. Seriously, people? Are you kidding...
I sometimes think I'm the only one who wonders about bizarro things like if the Blue Wiggle is hot in real life* or what the hell happen...
At the end of every sports season, there is usually some sort of party where the coach talks about each of the players and sometimes, give...
I have three kids and they all swim on a swim team every summer. I decided to capture my experience at a morning swim meet, for those ...
Mrs. Darling joins us again. Our fabulous literary friend has written our Summer Reading List and all about her time at the beach . Also,...