Sunday, November 13, 2011
Top Ten Reasons Why 3 is Worse Than 2
But this is the interwebs and I can't see you. So I'm going to tell you the truth. Three is a lot worse than two and here's why:
1. Three is two with intent.
2. The good news is, they can speak. Oh wait did I say good news? Guess who can parrot an overheard curse word perfectly? Except now they can do it understanding the importance of timing.
3. They’re mostly potty trained. Of course that also means that when they crap on the floor, it's even more disgusting and they’ve probably done it on purpose.
4. Their lungs are bigger. Therefore, the tantrums are louder – especially in public. They also are perfectly aware of what annoys and humiliates you. They know... Oh, they know.
8. They're independent and doing more things for themselves, which means that doing anything now takes approximately forever.
9. They're smart. So you can no longer trick them into eating healthy things or playing quietly while you try to gather your shattered nerves. Also, they’re self-aware enough to weigh the consequences and take what’s coming to them. Flooding the bathroom floor is totally worth ten minutes in time out.
10. Are you ready to leave your house? Well, your toddler isn't. Are you ready to walk down the street? Your toddler isn't. Is it time for you to leave the playground? Well, your toddler really, really isn't. And that's why we call it turtle herding.
I speak the truth, hookers. I'm really sorry. And you're welcome.
But at least now you're prepared. Maybe.
Mini is learning to read. More precisely, Mini is learning to sound out words. I don't want to rush her into reading (she doesn't ...
The Ides of March has always been a bad luck day for me and I don't know why. It's become a thing and now I'm all superstiti...
Kind of like this. My family is very fortunate because we live in a community with excellent public schools. In fact, my county so...
I'm sorry for not writing anything for a while. The deal is that my husband has been out of town, I've been taking allergy medicatio...
Guru Louise and I asked you about what most teachers really want for end of the year gifts. We got hundreds of answers on Facebook , Tw...
It's winter and its freezing and it's always dark and everyone is sort of sick. So at my house, it is the season of watching too muc...
Like every other family in the world, my kids are obsessed with Frozen. We downloaded the soundtrack right after Christmas and have enjoye...
I sometimes think I'm the only one who wonders about bizarro things like if the Blue Wiggle is hot in real life* or what the hell happen...
My dog almost died today. Because he ate some fabric. Maybe a sock? They don't know. In any case it was gross and it was not even food...
It seems to me that one of the most important things that no one told me about parenthood is that three is worse than two. Everyone is sort ...