Sunday, November 13, 2011
Top Ten Reasons Why 3 is Worse Than 2
But this is the interwebs and I can't see you. So I'm going to tell you the truth. Three is a lot worse than two and here's why:
1. Three is two with intent.
2. The good news is, they can speak. Oh wait did I say good news? Guess who can parrot an overheard curse word perfectly? Except now they can do it understanding the importance of timing.
3. They’re mostly potty trained. Of course that also means that when they crap on the floor, it's even more disgusting and they’ve probably done it on purpose.
4. Their lungs are bigger. Therefore, the tantrums are louder – especially in public. They also are perfectly aware of what annoys and humiliates you. They know... Oh, they know.
8. They're independent and doing more things for themselves, which means that doing anything now takes approximately forever.
9. They're smart. So you can no longer trick them into eating healthy things or playing quietly while you try to gather your shattered nerves. Also, they’re self-aware enough to weigh the consequences and take what’s coming to them. Flooding the bathroom floor is totally worth ten minutes in time out.
10. Are you ready to leave your house? Well, your toddler isn't. Are you ready to walk down the street? Your toddler isn't. Is it time for you to leave the playground? Well, your toddler really, really isn't. And that's why we call it turtle herding.
I speak the truth, hookers. I'm really sorry. And you're welcome.
But at least now you're prepared. Maybe.
Have you done a Whole 30? Well, I'm on Day 27 and it's been amazing . Did you learn so much about your relationship with food? Di...
I just had a melt-down because I got the location wrong on one of the 4,327 things my family has to do today. IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD. ...
It's Day 31 and I did a couple of important follow up things today: I weighed myself (finally). I took "after" measurements...
I was walking through the Wal Marts yesterday and I saw this little beauty on clearance. Before I even knew what I was doing, I had whippe...
So last summer, my youngest daughter (age 5) began seeing previews for a new Dora show called Dora and Friends: Into the City! Gone was th...
So I'm nearly half way there! Today is the day I'm like - why the hell isn't this a Whole 28? That would make a lot more sense....
I show this version of Maslow's Hierarchy every semester. So some of you may know that I teach undergrads at a college that I could ...
Oh my god. I just want to have a glass of wine. I don't even care about the sugar and I'll give up pasta forever. JUST ONE GLASS. Si...
Guru Louise and I asked you about what most teachers really want for end of the year gifts. We got hundreds of answers on Facebook , Tw...
Photo by Ponsulak via FreeDigitalPhotos.net Last week I got an email from my friends at Let's Talk Live asking me if I would be wil...