Sunday, November 13, 2011
Top Ten Reasons Why 3 is Worse Than 2
But this is the interwebs and I can't see you. So I'm going to tell you the truth. Three is a lot worse than two and here's why:
1. Three is two with intent.
2. The good news is, they can speak. Oh wait did I say good news? Guess who can parrot an overheard curse word perfectly? Except now they can do it understanding the importance of timing.
3. They’re mostly potty trained. Of course that also means that when they crap on the floor, it's even more disgusting and they’ve probably done it on purpose.
4. Their lungs are bigger. Therefore, the tantrums are louder – especially in public. They also are perfectly aware of what annoys and humiliates you. They know... Oh, they know.
8. They're independent and doing more things for themselves, which means that doing anything now takes approximately forever.
9. They're smart. So you can no longer trick them into eating healthy things or playing quietly while you try to gather your shattered nerves. Also, they’re self-aware enough to weigh the consequences and take what’s coming to them. Flooding the bathroom floor is totally worth ten minutes in time out.
10. Are you ready to leave your house? Well, your toddler isn't. Are you ready to walk down the street? Your toddler isn't. Is it time for you to leave the playground? Well, your toddler really, really isn't. And that's why we call it turtle herding.
I speak the truth, hookers. I'm really sorry. And you're welcome.
But at least now you're prepared. Maybe.
I hate arguing with people. I mean, I barely ever argue with anyone, I'm a grown up. I bicker with my kids and husband but that does...
Guru Louise and I asked you about what most teachers really want for end of the year gifts. We got hundreds of answers on Facebook , Tw...
Does anyone else think its funny that I have gigantic, disembodied cat paw on my face? As many of you know, I work with responsibili...
Whole30 Day 0: Later this week, I'm starting a diet/nutrition/sadness program called Whole30 . Where you eat nothing but strict Pa...
So last summer, my youngest daughter (age 5) began seeing previews for a new Dora show called Dora and Friends: Into the City! Gone was th...
A couple of weeks ago, we asked you for your thoughts on ways that kids can help in their communities. Why? Because we want to raise li...
It seems to me that one of the most important things that no one told me about parenthood is that three is worse than two. Everyone is sort ...
We’ve had a lot of people ask us to write a post about the seemingly innocent topic of the Mother-in-Law. Seriously, people? Are you kidding...
This was originally published in May 2010: In the past 24 hours, I have gotten three phone calls from friends of mine and they all starte...
It's winter and its freezing and it's always dark and everyone is sort of sick. So at my house, it is the season of watching too muc...