|This is a wild teenage party, right? RIGHT?!|
I try my best not to let these enemies get in the way of me doing my job. Some days are easier than others. Even after 16 years, I still keep expecting someone “official” to show up at any moment and demand “Honestly! Do you even have any idea at all what you’re doing?”
When you read about adolescent and teen behavior you quickly find out that teen behavior is caused, in part, by their not-yet-done-developing brains. Essentially, you should be more patient because they can’t help that their judgment and reasoning skills are not yet what they should be. Okay, great. How come *I* have to be more patient? Why isn’t the advice to show my kid the chapter that says he’s the problem, not me? Why isn’t the advice that my kid, in hopes of seeing his next birthday, should try shutting his pie hole since there’s little chance he’s right and I’m wrong?
|I can't believe I bothered |
going to college.
Parents Who Wish They Were Still Teens
This is the group of parents who want their teens to think they are cool. They allow their teens to do things way before any of the normal parents think is appropriate. Belly button piercings, tattoos, drinking, co-ed overnight trips…you see where I am going. You can rest assured these are the parents who will allow everyone’s kids to drink at their house. They act like YOU are the one in the wrong because you don’t want your kid to drink. Their reasoning for allowing any of this stuff is that you can’t stop your teen, so you may as well have some control over it by supervising/encouraging it.
You know what? No thank you. Stop making my job harder. No teen ever made better choices because they were drunk or high. Why would I possibly make it easier for my kid to do stupid crap?
And another thing…like I care that my 16-year-old thinks I am not cool? I have plenty of grown-up friends who are fine with my level of coolness and, I don’t care what you’ve heard, I don’t have to buy them beer to make them think so.
|I LOVE DRIVING!|
I'M SO GOOD AT IT!
This is THE worst enemy to us moms of teenagers. These people don’t know how to stay out of their own way and keep out of trouble. Everything you are doing to keep all these other jackasses from making your job harder… an effort in futility. Your teen is working against you. They are like secret agents for the other side. They don’t even get paid! They are doing it for sport!
One main problem with teenage girls is that, and I’m sorry to be so blunt, they have breasts. They love to dress up and look nice, but they only have the most tenuous of grasps on the difference between sexy and slutty.
Our main teen boy problem is that they noticed that girls have breasts. And they wanna see ‘em. This makes even the nice ones act stupid/ brain damaged. Do I really even need to elaborate further on how this condition just deteriorates? We could discuss it all day.
Now throw in that no matter how good a kid your teen is, they will try to thwart every effort you make to keep them safe and happy. They know more than you on all topics. They are more worldly and better drivers. The think YOU are the main domestic enemy of the teenager.
If it wasn’t for the high pay, my husband and I would have never taken this job. Wait…what?
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011