Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Domestic Enemy of the Mom of Mixed Race Kids

We've been waiting for this post for a loooooong time.  It came to us from our awesome new friend Jenster, who you can read all about on her blog Visitors' Day at the Institute.

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We are a half-Asian, half-Scandinavian family. My son is 14 and my daughter is 10. And yes, we do kind of look like a Gap ad, if the Gap models had teen acne, bigger butts and stretch marks. But other that, totally Gap. I would like to tell you all about the...

Domestic Enemies of Moms with Mixed-Race Kids

People who view your children as a special and wondrous species, the same way they admire mixed-breed dogs.
Yes, they are pretty darned good-looking, aren't they? Even if I weren't contractually obligated as their mom to think that way, I would still agree with your assessment. However, I wish you'd pay your nice compliment and then stop there, because my kids aren't really flattered to hear you discuss their skin/hair coloring or their nose shapes right in front of them. I'm flattered if you ask me privately about their features and show interest in their heritage, but they're not interesting little puppies at the pound who are going home with you. They've been mixed-race all their lives and, frankly, they're completely over it.

People who wonder if your kids are good at math and science since they're part-Asian.
I've been Asian all my life and I suck at math. You know that iPhone app that helps you calculate restaurant tips? The one that has people wondering what idiot would need to use that? That would be me. Being half-Asian doesn't automatically make my kids smart (although I like to think they get their excellent reading skills from me). They also happen to be half-Scandinavian, but no one asks if they eat pickled herring. Funny how that works.

People who insist on telling you about other mixed-race families that they know.
This is similar to when you meet someone for the first time and they're compelled to inform you that their best friend/sister's roomate/gynecologist is Asian. I totally get that you want to find a way to connect with us. But the fact that you find my family a novelty and insist on telling us about another family JUST LIKE US is a total turn-off. Especially when it turns out the other family has nothing in common with us other than race. News flash -- It's 2011 and there are a lot of families out there JUST LIKE US.

People who assume that you're like that dragon-mom chick.
Don't even get me started on that Asian woman who forced her mixed-race children to practice piano for hours each day and now reaps their appreciation and achievements. In our house, if my kids eat something green and avoid slamming the car doors, it's a good day.

Less you think of me as an overly defensive race-baiter, I have to inform you that I enjoy discussing my kids' racial background with people who view them first as the goofy goobers that they are and not just representatives of the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyland. I was really pleased when a mom asked me about my daughter's eye color at soccer practice recently, because it led to a discussion of how her own child (who is not mixed race) has eyes that are two different colors. Now THAT is a cool trick.

People who view your family as their ticket to diversity and awesomeness.

Hurray! You know us. That makes you so very diverse and continental. Now you can discuss us with your friends while you eat mediocre sushi and say, "My neighborhood is very diverse." But there's something you don't know, and that is that we are AWESOME, and not because we're a mixed-race family. We're awesome because my kids can actually fart out songs. Because my husband has a loose piece of cartilage at the tip of his nose, resulting from an old ski accident, and if you're not squeamish, he'll let you WIGGLE it. And because just recently, at the ripe old age of XX (a number higher than 25 but lower than 80), I slapped on a swimsuit and took swim lessons for the very first time. From a male twenty-something college student lifeguard/swim instructor I could have once bounced on my knee. And guess what? It was AWESOME.

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Yah. I know - isn't the Jenster magical and rad? Here's her blog again: Visitor's Day at the Institute

xo, Lydia & Kate

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

58 comments:

  1. Jenster: Rock on, sister!
    I myself am half Asian, half Caucasian and my favorite question is "So what ARE you?" Or the comment "You're half Japanese and half AMERICAN right?" No, I'm All-American, friends. There is a difference between "ethnicity" and "nationality"--and I know that is lost on some people. But the Mixies come to know this point very well.

    One of the things about being mixed race is finding your own place. Because your race is not just one nice neat category, I think the you have to work a little harder to know who you are but you get to draw from such a variety of things. Ultimately it's a blessing but in elementary/middle school I wasted so much time wishing that I did not stick out and looked like everyone else (ie white people). But I think times have changed and with Obama who I view first as mixed race, I think (hope) it's less of an issue of angst.

    Ironically, my daughter is 1/4 Asian but it's undetectable. When she was born though, she looked like my dad, a little Japanese man. Now everyone remarks how much she looks just like my very Anglo husband. Sigh.

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  2. As a person who is often mistaken as a mix-kid. I thank you for writing this! You're speaking common facts that are very apparent in today's world. Thank you again!

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  3. How about a Domestic Enemies of the Desperately-Trying-To-Be-A-Mommy? :-D

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  4. You all need to do the domestic enemies of the mom with kids who have different hair colors and the same father. I have a blonde, brunette, and a red head. Imagine the shock (from me) when I was first asked if they all had the same father... Now I just respond that all we know for sure is that they have the same Mother. Now the shock has visited the "kind" person who asked the question. Sheesh.

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  5. When people ask how my son got blue eyes or why my daughter has that perfect olive complexion, I just tell them that I'm trying to breed the super race. I'm Mexican-American and my husband is African-American and Caucasian (Canadian). They also squirm when I tell them, "He's black and white and I'm brown." They seem to hate that I can be so non-PC about it. Great Post!

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  6. I friggin' hate that. I was in a nearby pizza place with my husband and kids and there was a lady a couple of tables over who kept staring at them and talking to her table mate in loud stage whispers.

    When we didn't bite, she sort of flagged our attention and went on and on about how cute they are and all about their teeny little noses (huh?) and how they should be in modeling and all that bush-hit. She said she should know because she was or used to be an agent so she had a "good eye." Oh. Kay.

    What I don't get is if my kids are so damn cute, how come their parents don't get any attention? I mean, ostensibly, we must be pretty damn cute, too, right? Those genes didn't just have a big bang and come together on their own.

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  7. My husband is half Filipino, and people ask me the strangest questions. He's somewhat of a novelty here in Iowa.

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  8. I, too, am half Asian. My children are 1/4 Asian and all have blonde hair, blue eyes, and a vampire-like complexion. My FAVORITE question asked by others is, "Are they yours?" Nope, I bought 'em on-line. Got a 3-for-1 deal. Let me know if you want the website. Have a nice day. :)

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  9. My kids are half Asian, half Dutch. I completely understand this post.

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  10. I'm constantly hearing how the Irish and Italians make beautiful babies. Ok, I don't really need you having that visual, thanks! Especially now that one of those babies is 12 and can figure out what they mean...

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  11. Wait - you took swim lessons as an adult? I wanna do that. We spend all summer at the lake, and I can NOT swim (I am between the ages of 49 and 51)
    Your family sounds great. Kinda like mine (my kids can't fart out songs, though. Not that I know of anyway)

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  12. I am also the parent of a mixed kid. My little Oscar is 1/2 Costa Rican, 1/2... uh... Germairishcanadian.... well... let's just call it 1/2 whitey. At any rate, he really is the most gorgeous little boy we all have ever seen :) I call him "my little tan man" because he has soft brown hair, dark brown eyes, and the most gorgeous year round tan you have ever seen. He has very few features that resemble my own (except for my eye shape, my nose, and I think his big toes and my own are similar) so most people just assume I adopted. No folks. He really is 1/2 me. I know because I birthed him.

    Something that I do really enjoy is the smile he brings to people's faces. It really is a nice and warm feeling when we're walking down the aisle at the grocery store and Oscar says "HI!" to the biggest grump you've ever seen and they can't help but smile, say "hello" back, sometimes shake his little hand (Oscar loves the "sign of peace" at church), and tell me how handsome and wonderful they think he is. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know that he brightened someone's day. Heck! Even I have to smile at his cute little face when he dumps two bowls of cereal on the floor, and then walks through it to come ask for another.

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    1. I completely agree with you Amanda. Right down to the sign of peace at church. I love that my little half Asian sweetie brings smiles everywhere we go and take it as a positive that she brings joy to people all around :)

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  13. My favorite part of having biracial kids was left out: "Yes he is mine, no I am not the nanny. Yes, I know he is much fairer than me, I promise he is still mine, would you like to see the stretch marks and stitches to prove it?"

    Having given birth to my oldest in Charleston, SC, I was asked this question more than I like to remember. My favorite was the time the lady looked at my son, looked at me, looked at my son then turned to me and said, "No he's not." Right...

    Or how about the time that we had an older walk up to my husband and me and tell us she thought we had a beautiful family and she'd be praying for us. Hmmm...let's just choose to say that was a good thing cuz otherwise...I dunno about that.

    Not only are my children not some strange species, my husband and I are not some miraculous, wondrous, must stare to try to understand, couple either. We're simply two kids who met, fell in love and decided to have a family, it's really all pretty simple. And no, I don't want to discuss how our parents feel about our relationship, it's not really any of your business is it, and don't even get me started on the IGNORANT comments people make about my children having "good" hair.

    I could go on and on but instead, I'll just leave it here with a, "this post deserves a part two." :)

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  14. I was at a gas station and this guy walked by my best friend and her BEAUTIFUL mixed daughter on the way in to the store and called her a n* lover! I was pumping gas at the time, and wasnt sure I had heard that quite right. Turns out I did. My friend just stood there shocked and burst into tears. Yeah I chased the asshole down and reemed him raw for being such a scumbag. And to make it worse, he said it in front of her child! The funny thing was other people joined in after they figured out what I was screaming at him for. I still can't believe that actually happened. It still pisses me off and it was like 5 years ago.

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  15. We have the same this happen in our family, however not with race with Autism. So I have had my child compared to RainMan more times than not, and trust me , if my kid could count cards we would be in Vegas, not be in North Carolina. BUT! My favorite is "ohhhh he is Autistic, my aunt watches a boy with brain damage, I don’t know how you do it" He is AUTISTIC, nope he may not process things the same as you, but he is more than likely smarter than you could ever imagine being, defiantly wayyyyyyyy funnier! Then when you throw in the fact the he has bright red/orange hair (my husband and I both have brown -thank you redkin ) we are really are pretty much saints for taking this lil boy in (people really annoy me can you tell)
    We have started coming up with random BS to tell people over the red hair. (we no longer explain, I’m Irish, and my husband has a dad and two brothers with red hair) The Hubs fav is to tell people he "sent me lots of flowers while he was deployed and it the craziest thing but that UPS guy had red hair too, hmmmm" At first I looked at him like I could have killed him, but now, it has became my favorite answer as well.

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  16. I am Latina and husband is Indian (India).

    We always get comments from across the room how gorgeous my children are and blah blah blah... how they wished they had their gorgeous coloring.
    I say "Heck if Snooki can get their coloring so can you" :)

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  17. My older kids in primary school have asked me what they are since we've become ex-pats. I tell them that they are half-Korean, half-French, and half-American, or just a regular variety mutt. Then I get a good laugh out of them telling their curious classmates.

    Oh, biggest peeve- I'm not mixed, so I used to get that look from people (not so much now tho). You know, the kind that assumes I'm just a nanny/sitter just because the offsprings do not look Asian. Uh. No. They are mine. I know my kids are beautiful, but really, they did get half my genes. But thanks for not asking.

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  18. Thank you so much for posting this! My husband is biracial (half African-American, half European) and we get all the time...so what is he? Most people don't ask and just assume that he is of Hispanic descent (which is funny when they start speaking Spanish to him).

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  19. I am a very fair blonde, and my husband is Indian. Our children are beautiful light brown. Strangers regularly tell me that I let them play out in the sun too much.

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  20. One of my cousins has a mixed-race toddler, and it drives her nuts when people make the kind of comments listed above. While my baby is not mixed race, she is a redheaded one year old with LOTS of hair, so she stands out. My DH is a redhead and he commented on how it bothers him when people treat redheads like a sideshow attraction, so I totally get mixed-race moms on that point.

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  21. You go girl. I'm Polish and Greek, and I totally eat pickled herring. Also moussaka. Does that make me continental too? Nobody ever asks about the Polish part.

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  22. It is even most interesting when you don't look like whatever stereotype they think you should. I cannot count how many times in college professors stood there looking at me (obviously wondering where I am from) trying to make sure they pronounce my name right. My first name is in Spanish, my last name is in Portuguese, I am 100% Latina, Spanish is my first language. Somehow I invariably got what seemed like a weird attempt to pronounce my name in Italian. After I corrected them I usually got "you don't look latina!". Is that supposed to be a compliment? Can't wait to see what my son is going to get. My husband is 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 peruvian,1/2 polish Jew (and everyone assumes he is the one that speaks Spanish)

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  23. My boyfriend is half Japanese and half caucasian, and he looks kinda mexican because he has dark skin. I'm white as Casper with blond hair and brown eyes.
    we had twin girls 4.5 months ago...Isabella looks just like dad and Sofia is blond, blue eyes and has the Japanese eyes, she looks so exotic!!! So, my kids are bi-racial too :)

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  24. My kids are half Korean/half Jewish. I enjoyed this.

    I had a new bizarrely rude question yesterday. "Did you meet in the service?" Because how on earth would I otherwise meet a Asian but overseas. There clearly aren't any Asian-American people in the States.

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  25. She is magical and rad. She said it better than I've been able to. I especially relate to numbers one and three. I get both of them CONSTANTLY. I've stopped responding altogether. Ha! That's my way of making THEM feel like the freak (because they're left thinking, what did i say that was so bad?).

    The one thing she left out is the assumption that your child was adopted or that you're the nanny. That one is my FAVORITE.

    http://lauramauk.blogspot.com/

    http://lauramauk.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Mix

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  26. LMAO with these comments and how very familiar it all sounds. I am 1/2 Japanese and the other half german/scotish. My husband is italian, irish, russian, german and french so my children look completely american. When I gave birth to my daughter, the nurse brought her into my room and wouldnt hand her over to me right away because I had black hair and my baby had red hair which she had to also point out to me. lol. Doesnt offend me at all. I find it quite amusing and it makes them that much more special to me!

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  27. I have that tip calculator app...lol

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  28. Thank you for tuning the perspective knob a little more finely. It's important.

    I frequently get asked if I am Jewish (to clarify my point, I happen to not be Jewish). Because of COURSE, as we ALL KNOW...Jewish people alllll look alike. I'm not sure what the appearance requirements are that I seem to meet...maybe I look really "European", lol. Who knows. One time as I walked down the street I walked past a homeless man who yelled "Merry Christmas!". I turned my head to say "thank you" and before I can say anything he yells "OH! Sorry! I mean Happy Hannukkah!". What?!

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  29. Please tell Jenster, that the kid with two different colored eyes has a marker for Waardenburg syndrome, a genetic disease whose markers include different colored eyes, a "skunk stripe" in the hair at an early age (think bride of frankestein)and deafness. I know because this runs in my family,my sister has two deaf kids, a daughter with different colored eyes, and I had(before I went grey) the skunk stripe.

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  30. I too, am half Asian (Okinawan, to be exact)--BUT, I grew up in Hawaii, which is very dominantly Asian, and so I was always the oddity, the white-looking girl. I am SO VERY thankful for that kind of perspective. Also, I now have four kids, that all look incredibly different--including twins that look like they are completely different races. Our girl looks almost 100% Okinawan, our boy, 100% German. It's SO VERY confusing for everyone that sees us in the grocery store.

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  31. Hello. Where does Jenster (and many of the people posting here) live? I am not trying to be snarky or anything, I truly want to know. I live in the SF Bay Area and Idon't think there is a "pure bred" person here anymore. So, the novelty of a mixed race family is kinda old and "whatever" here. So, the rant doesn't seem to make much sense to me. I guess it isn't that way everywhere.... and that makes me sad:(

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  32. I have to say that I now know more mixed-race couples and dual(plus)-heritage kids than double-whiteys like my own family. It was a novelty when I first moved here and I went through the stages of "oh-wow-how-diverse" and "let's-get-so-and-so-together-because-they-are-both-mixed-race-couples!" to now I barely think about it and actually double-whiteys seems a little odd when I meet them. But unlike many of my midwestern kin, I DO have control over what comes out of my mouth so I never made comments about their heritage in front of or to the kids, or tried to delve into overly personal details with their parents.

    It just comes down to, most people will say any asinine thing that pops into their head. Seriously. I have 2 girls - the eldest has light brown hair and hazel eyes and the youngest has blonde hair and blue eyes. And by the way people react to even that minor difference, you'd think we were the strangest family on the planet. "Oh! You have one of each!!" they exclaim in astonishment. "Yes," I reply. "One Samantha and one Zoe". In a culture that idolizes blondes, I don't need you giving my lovely brunette a body image complex, mmm-kay? She's perfect the way she is, and so is my other daughter. Get over it, and for heaven's sake, develop a filter for what comes tumbling out of your mouth in.front.of.my.kids. Sheesh. I can only imagine what mixed race families go through!

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  33. This was hilarious. My adorable bi racial daughter is only 6 months old and I am already done with people loudly thinking I'm the help. I happen to be " creole" or black & things and my husband is German and Spanish. Our daughter looks all white down to the soft straight hair. This appearantly confuses people. One older black lady actually said " don't worry maybe her hair will get curly when she's older! " Really lady? REALLY? My daughter's current /future hair is none of your damn business! It would be lovely if people would use their manners or common sense. In the meantime at least we can laugh at them.
    ~Analyn's Momma

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  34. Thank you for this post! I'm a new mommy to a beautiful mixed-race daughter and while I live in an area where mixed-race is pretty common I'm expecting to field such questions in future. (I'm boring white, my husband is Japanese-Hawaiian-Portuguese-and more).

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  35. Jenster here. Thank you to everyone who left a comment on this post. Glad to know I'm in such good company there!

    Anonymous asked me where I live and, no, I don't think you sound snarky at all. I live near Seattle! I live in a very ethnically diverse community and, yet, I still get these types of reactions.

    I don't mean for this post to sound like a full rant - For me, it was just a way to get things off my chest in a good-humored fashion. I didn't have a T-box available, so thank goodness Kate and Lydia were there for me.

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  36. We're not even mixed-race, just double-whitey. I'm a very dark brunette, and 2 of our 3 kids are blonde with blue eyes. When our son was a baby, I had him in the shopping cart. The lady behind me in the checkout line had the guts to ask if he was adopted. My answer? No, my husband is 1/2 Scandinavian ... ever hear of genetics?
    My God, some people are so damn stupid!

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  37. As a mixed race young adult myself I really really appreciate this.

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  38. Mixed-race kids over here too (white/black). So...can we all be friends so we can be super diverse together? lol

    Also. Maybe we can get our kids together so we can send some pics to Gap for consideration. ;)

    In all sincerity, LOVED this. And I think I'd just want to be your friend because you've got a great, snarky sense of humor and not because I think I can glean dragon mom tips from you.

    PS. My kids are really cute. I'm sure yours are, too.

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  39. I live in the south and am a single (24/7 365 physically and financially) mother of a daughter who is half Pakistani, who is not adopted, and happens to look just like Dora. You can bet I have a lot of fun with that one!

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  40. My kids are also 1/2 Korean and 1/2 Jewish. I actually had a stranger walk up to me in the grocery store when they were babies and ask me where I got them! Seriously? Aisle 3 lady, here's a coupon.

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  41. As a 1/2 Japanese / 1/2 german/irish person, raised by two white parents I understand some of the experiences that you have had. I look nothing like either of my parents, even though I'm related by blood to my mom. It raised a lot of questions when I was growing up. However, my family never took this behavior to be insulting. I understand that we're all entitled to feel how we want, but it seems like you are being over-sensitive to people that are just trying to find a connection and be friendly.

    Perhaps what people are saying isn't the most tactful conversation piece, but, I would venture to guess that the times are very rare when the intent is malicous. People (mostly) talk to others because they're kind, and looking for *some* connection to help provide a sense of familiarity with one other, to help relate to another person.

    I feel like you're making assumptions about intent, when everyone would be a lot happier if we just gave others the benefit of the doubt.

    These are just my thoughts, but as a halfsie (yes, that is jokingly how my family refers to our ethnic status) myself, my gut reaction to your post was that I actually found it short sighted and egocentric.

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  42. I maintain that the best thing you can ever say when you see a family is, "Wow! What a gorgeous family you have!"

    You can stop right there, and if the mom wants to share details with you, she will.

    --kate in MI

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  43. I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Mostly Italian and Spanish influence. So blonde, blue eyes is not super common.
    My twins are SO different that once, we were out and a lady asked us "this baby looks just like daddy, and the other one?" and my boyfriend answered "she looks like the other dad" You should saw the look on the lady's face. Priceless

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  44. I second the call for Domestic Enemies of the Fertility Challenged...

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  45. Love this post!! I live north of the SF Bay area, and don't find "mixed" families to be out of the ordinary. In fact, it may just be the more typical around here!! I work with pregnant mommies & families, so loooooove how genetics is so unexpected!
    And for those wanting a fertility-related rant, there is the "Domestic Enemies of the Not-yet-mommy", posted maybe a month ago?

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  46. Oh, I can soo relate to everything you said here. It's funny, because I find myself telling people how my kids are *not* good at math. After all, neither is their Asian mom.

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  47. Great post, something I can relate to as the mother of a biracial child (1/2 Asian, 1/2 White).

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  48. I am a blonde-haired blue-eyed girl of Polish-English-Scotch-Irish-German descent. My husband is of Haitian-Creole descent with very dark coloring. My two kiddos are a beautiful mix of the two of us, but their darker hair and skin always throws people off if Daddy's not with us. I've had 99% positive interactions, but the 1% still makes me fume. When my then-14-month-old daughter bit another kid at the childcare at the gym, that kid's mom wanted to know where she was adopted from, in case she might have HIV. Seriously???

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  49. I was sitting at my local health department this week, and several of us women there were admiring this adorable 1-year-old girl. A black woman asked the black mother, "is she mixed?" I was so shocked that a complete stranger would ask that! I'm white, so maybe I'm just not used to stuff like that, but I didn't even notice anything about the girl's complexion or hair. She just looked 100% adorable to me, and I busy mentally comparing her motor and verbal skills and number of teeth to my one-year-old son at home, lol. There are mixed race children in my extended family now, so maybe I just don't think about it that much anymore. I have a feeling that was a very rude question, but the mother handled it very well and calmly.

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  50. I'm half-Asian maried to a giant, Norwegian guy. Seriously, my hub looks Viking-ish. My daughter looks just like him. Once, at a mall I was asked how long I'd been her nanny. When I responded with "I'm her mother", the same asshat asked me where I got her. Lovely, huh?

    PS. It's nice to know that I'm not the only partially Asian person who doesn't engage in math hijinks for pleasure.

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  51. I am half Arabic, a quarter Irish, and a quarter Italian. I get the, "What are you?" question all the time. But I don't mind because coming up with various answers can be quite amusing!

    Coming from the offspring of two parents with different ethnicities, I can tell you, I don't really mind it. Being "exotic" is something I celebrate, not shy away from. And I've learned to let the ignorant comments go because people just don't know any better. Most of the time they are just simply curious, although some can be pushy about getting the answers..

    However, I am sure my (white) mother would take a tone more similar to the one from this article. She hates with people say, "Oh she is so beautiful, she looks NOTHING like you!"...Or the head scratching looks of people trying to figure out how we are related (Nanny? Relative? Mother?!). Although, I know it has improved over the years. Now I am an adult (23), it is glaringly obvious that I am my mother's daughter. I have plenty of her personality traits that prove it. She seems to be O.K. with that.

    In any event, I loved this photo-book on Mixed Raced kids:

    http://www.mixedkids.com/

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  52. I'm a blonde, my kid is a dark dark dark brunette w/ dark skin (apparently all the Cherokee in our families' background came out in HER) and I got asked if I was the nanny all the time. :( Even her actual nanny teased me sometimes about how my daughter looked more like *her* than she did like *me.* It was heartbreaking at first. Her skin lightened as she got older, but we still look nothing alike. Then her sister was born--a curly-headed blonde! Now I get asked if they have the same father! I'm convinced that half the world is populated w/ idiots.

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  53. love it LOL my husband is mixed (half black half white) and im white our son is 11 months old and so yea he looks white blue eyes light brown hair white skin ect.. i cant stand when people look at my baby and the first thing they say is "he looks white" I want to say "yea and you sound stupid" i mean dads light skinned moms white what did you think our kid was going to come out dark skinned

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  54. I think the best answer to "where did he/she come from"? would be "from my twat" that would forever shut these ignorant morons up!!

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  55. Ok so I am reading all of these "domestis enemy" blogs and I am a part of quite a few, I just commented on the "big family" one but not only do I have a big family they are mixed race! Black\white now how awesome is it when we go to the store people as me if I'm babysitting! Usually when we leave the house I never have less than 5 of them with me and let me tell you NONE of them look alike! They all vary in shade from creamed coffee to just white. Are they all your husbands kids, no just the really white ones.... that throws them for a loop even tho its true (blended family kids and step kids totalling 9 kids) our daughter has blond shirly temple hair and white skin oops guess I pushed the genes too hard! Tho I'm not a blond I'm a reddish brown casper pale white person tho I have been asked if I have asian in me, no no asian in me just a little fat in me I think. They range from blond to black hair crispies and bone sraight my youngest son that I physically had don't look a lick black but he could be a bit mexican maybe asian.... if you ask me on the right day..... so totally enjoyed this blog!

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  56. I love this! My husband is Japanese and I'm white, and I frequently am asked "where I got" my daughter, to which I reply, "Oh, just made her from stuff I had lying around the house." We get the, "Hey, I know Asian people!" all the time, too.

    My daughter happens to be good at math. I'm not, but she got it somewhere. Many times I've heard, "Well, of course! she's Asian!"

    Of course, when we go to Japan, they all say she's white, so...

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