So my kids follow all kinds of wonderful rules about healthy eating like "dessert is not an everyday treat" and "I need to finish my water before I can have seconds". And I enforce these rules while pounding cold coffee and eating all my meals either over the sink or while driving.
And so I was only sort of paying attention when the USDA recently replaced the food pyramid with something else. They replaced it with this:
This is sort of Paltrow-y and annoying but at least honest about how it sucks and is too expensive and requires you to shop for your groceries at about 400 diffrent stores. If you actually eat like this, congratulations. I don't mean to poke fun. Seriously. If you eat like that all the time, without being all smug and needing to mention it to other people at the bus stop first thing in the morning - then I say YAY FOR YOU and your tiny, firm ass.
But here's how it actually works at my house:
Please tell me that its not just me, alone in my yoga pants and nutritional shame. I'm pretty sure it's not just me though, because I saw a total Gwyneth at Chipolte last week and I gave that bitch a high five.
xo, Lydia
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011
This cracked me up! My plate looks a lot like that last one. It is funny that you brought this up. My sister recently became a yeast-avoiding vegetarian. A snotty one. We have had many discussions about it all in recent days. I say sarcastic things when we can't decide where to eat out when the whole family gets together. No place is good enough. I asked her if we should just all get a fork & knife, go to the local farner's market & tear into some raw squash for Nana's birthday dinner. Okay, I'll be quiet. This post really got me going!
ReplyDeleteyes ma'am. i just recently decided it was time to go to the doctor to find out why my daughter is nearly 18 months and aunt flow visited once around her 5-month-birthday and then disappeared. turns out im fat. lol. who knew!? however, my doc put me on birth control, metformin, and a 2000 calorie diet broken down to 1000 healthy calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 500 for dinner. go ahead, finish rolling around laughing and not being able to breathe. i'll wait. i was off work today so i actually DID have breakfast....i scrambled 9 eggs, added some cheese, and split the plate with lil bit and hubs. at least it's protein! i had a flatbread thingy from taco bell for "lunch" at 5pm. then i had pasta a french bread for dinner. when im working i skip breakfast, have a quick lunch, might eat a little something on my 15 minute breaks, and then gobble up everything in the house at night like i starved all day. i think i need to change my hours of availability at work (sometimes i go in at 8am, sometimes noon. ugh. 8 hour shifts each time too.) to be able to get my square meals in. and hire a nanny. and possibly invent something to stop time so i have my lazy 'i'll get up soon.NO DON'T SEND THE BABY IN HERE!' mornings in bed and can still down a nutritious breakfast before leaving for work. ok. novel over. long story short: i think we were separated at birth. you're 23, right? ;) -aimee- (truvy is my "stage name" at champagne mommyhood)
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better I'm a Registered Dietitian with a Master's Degree in Nutrition and also 5 months pregnant. Yes, sometimes I eat kale and organic berries and whatnot, but also pretty much every day I eat more than I should of Oreos, icing and pretzels. That's just how life goes sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone! Peanut butter on a spoon and Cheez-Its are two of my four food groups. The other two change daily, but they are never free range, organic, or low carb.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. Pinot noir at every meal. That's how I get through my days. Although for breakfast I prefer a nice Cabernet.
ReplyDeleteMy husband asked me if I tried the new salad at Wawa yet. He said, "oh, but don't you go to wawa all the time?"
ReplyDeleteMy response: "I have to kids. Two small, children with grubby hands. I can't eat anywhere that doesn't have a drive through. I haven't been to a wawa since before I had kids"
He laughed, but in the back of my mind I was kicking him. He can suck.
I have to admit that my plate is pretty similar, but instead of the pinot noir, that corner consists of "junk food I hide in the back of the cupboard so my husband and daughter don't eat it". Cheers!
ReplyDeleteShelley
you forgot the section of the plate that is medicinal....like if I am angry and cranky something crunchy (potato chips, pretzels) If I am overwhelmed something comforting (mac and cheese, mashed potatoes). If I am stressed oreos or chocolate ice cream.
ReplyDeleteShelley - Me too! (Re: hidden junk food)
ReplyDeleteYou get that much to eat? I don't...mainly because I have a 7 month old and a husband who sometimes seems needier than the baby, not to mention two hyperactive dogs who now have anxiety issues since the baby takes up all of my attention. I'm lucky to get a cup of coffee and a bowl of soup between the hours of 7am and 8pm...
ReplyDeleteStephanie
Coffee Fueled Family
Um, yeah....I'm a chef. And I really do strive for that first plate, and USUALLY my kids at least get some semblance of it...but today...today we ate Cheetos for breakfast. Don't judge the fake cheesy goodness.
ReplyDeleteDoes eating chocolate cake hidden in the vegetable drawer in the fridge count as empty carbs or vegetables? Just checking...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! And that's 72oz of caffeine/day, right Lydia? Oh, and for me that orange part is all DARK CHOCOLATE 5 special days/month.
ReplyDeleteawesomely awesome....i loved how the picture the government put up of a "sample plate" put an ear of corn in the veggie slot....duh. How about something not starchy, like some lettuce, green beans. Stupid.
ReplyDeleteI too almost never go to something that doesnt have a drive-thru. Kids are grabby and capable of running a high speeds toward sparkly, shiny things - mom needs a drink with her meal if that action is going on.
Yep, that's me too. I actually inhaled a tuna sandwich while attempting to calm a tantrum by the 2 year old and nursing the 2 month old yesterday. :)
ReplyDeletePerfect timing for this post. I'm currently trying to loose my pregnancy ass and yesterday while feeding my son kiwi, oatmeal, and milk for breakfast, I found myself drinking someones half empty can of some off brand mt fee (yes, I'm too cheap to buy the real deal, as my husband says) anyways, short story, flat, warm, backwash infested cheap pop, and a fruit roll-up was what my lunch consisted of.. You guys should do a post on 'realistic, quick, yummy' mom lunches :) anything has got to be better than spit.. <3 you gals!
ReplyDeleteAre you telling me Chipotle isn't healthy? o_0
ReplyDeleteI'm a certified yoga trainer, once-upon-a-time vegetarian, still eat meat only once a week and yet, candies from holidays and my husband's "discover the best cake in local bakeries" obsession made up a majority of my food groups. I've recently kicked the sugar habit though. The first day was hell on earth and I'm NOT doing that again. So seltzer and saltines are now my best buds.
I love you! I have some standards for my kiddos, but if they finish all the green beans before I get some I'm not opening another can for me(-: And I agree with Anonymous about the hidden junk food...totally a food group!
ReplyDeletenope not just you! i eat the same way..minus the veggies because i hate them LOL..i do however do the less than 2 hours of tv a day rule. but as far as the kids eating, i stick some veggies and water in there and hope they are okay. we don't do the vegan or the free range extra expensive chicken.
ReplyDeleteSo funny, love it. And I coach people on how to use the new My Plate and eat more fruits and vegetables and whole grains!
ReplyDeleteThis is AWESOME. I write a blog about organic eating and... um... not to many posts lately because my diet is MUCH more similar to that last plate. I aspire to the farmer's market/organic one, but I end up with the last one. Except replace part of it with frozen pizzas and nachos. At least pinot noir is a food group. They make that organic now, ya know?
ReplyDeleteI have one profound and burning question for you: where's the chocolate? : )
ReplyDeleteI am picky about what my kids eat... and what did I have for breakfast, you say? Brownie a la mode. Did I mention I need to drop a few pounds...?
ReplyDeleteWhere's the chocolate? There's gotta be chocolate. And I think in my house there's an "Orange Food" section. That encompasses baby carrots, mac-n-cheese, cheeze-its, mandarin oranges, etc.
ReplyDeleteIf you replace the Pinot Noir slice with Diet Coke I'm there. (Did I mention that I'm an overweight aerobics instructor? Yeah, it's funny go ahead and laugh.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just you. Yesterday I ate spaghetti pasta salad 3 times, had some coffee and pepsi, then ate 2 chicken tacos with rice, a bag of doritos, and had a malibu and orange juice. Also, some of that pasta salad had already been in my 2 year old's mouth. He put it down and I ate it.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I once went to the Niagara wine region before we had kids. (We may have possibly made boy #1 then but it's all cloudy now) And we stopped at this one (of many) winery where we met the actual wine maker there. He introduced us to a great Pino Noir and told us it's an excellent breakfast wine. The guy is my hero. He had to add that his day starts at 2 am there so our breakfast time is his dinner time. But still, breakfast wine is an awesome idea and I see it nowhere on the new food plate. So I decided maybe we should count it at fruit. its made from grapes, so why not.
ReplyDeleteWe already call the box-o-wine we have "the juice box"
My husband just recently returned from a years deployment. Im pretty sure my usual daily diet only consisted of caffinated beverages. A doctor yesterday asked me "you DO eat at least 3 meals a day right?". He looked at me strange when i asked if 3 cups of coffee count, an even stranger look came when i insisted that its the creamer and sugar that qualify as having a nutritional value. XD
ReplyDeleteI have a nine month old. I live on Cabernet, Special K, and Oreos. And when I feel healthy, I have a bag of SteamFresh green beans.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one eating almost all of my meals either standing up or driving. If I'm sitting in a real chair while I'm eating, I'm at the computer.
ReplyDeleteI don't even *try* to get healthy-ish food when I'm going through the drive-thru. Chicken nuggets and french fries, oh yes...
I **love** your idealized eating plate. I'm so there mentally. My kiddo is somewhat there in real life. Me, not even close.
Definitely don't forget the section on the plate for comfort food.
I have three kids, aged 17, 13 and 7. I haven't eaten a meal without having to share in almost 18 years... they need to add that to the plate, a section for all the food you have people wanting to "taste". I will never understand why they have the EXACT SAME THING on their plates, but want to eat mine! You would think with having to give away half of everything I eat to the rather parasitic creatures that I birthed, I would be thin, but alas, seems they get to eat it and I still gain the weight from it. Oh, the joys of Motherhood. **sigh** I love my kids, really, I do...
ReplyDeleteI'll admit I try to be the first with a bit of the second thrown in, hence the loud discussions with my hubby regarding our grocery bill. But there are plenty of days when I'm exhauseted and our meals look like the third plate. This was so funny! I do think you forgot one the mom that goes to the organic food store only to come out with all junk food, but it's good for you b/c it says it's organic on it.
ReplyDeletelmao @ Natasha! I am certain that 90 percent of my daily calories come from my French Vanillia coffee creamer!
ReplyDeleteMy plate! You totally described my plate! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's not just you; replace the Pinot Noir with Chardonnay, and it is dead on for me too. Also, I am *trying* to diet these days, and it turns out that can be HORRIBLY unhealhty--as evidenced by the fat-free hot dogs I am shoving down my pie-hole (12% turkey/beef/chicken product, 38% preservatives, 50% voo-doo magic).
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it! We definitely follow the last plate rules. haha! But, wait...you actually get your food on a plate? I am usually just walking around, getting crap for everyone else while I grab bites here and there out of the serving bowl or off the kiddos plates. ha! Oh, and that whole 2 hours or less of tv a day? Obviously whoever created that rule does not have, and has never had, children of their own. :P
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Love this and all the posts to follow. So nice to know you are NEVER alone! My twin 3 1/2 year olds first full day of preschool. After the usual drinkable yogurt for breakfast, I went through all the other sensible choices to eat. Nothing was working, and I reminded them that I didn't know what the snack would be today, so they needed to eat something. It turned out to be letter cookies. Organic, yummy, and educational at the same time-right?
ReplyDeleteLydia, I have a girl crush on you.
ReplyDeleteI realize this is satire. I share the same comments as most others. Darn it if I don't think everyday that I wished everyone in our family ate better. Honestly, my husband and I eat crap while we try to feed our son from the second plate. We rather have better for him than ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWhere is the large "Chocolate" section? Unless that falls under "Something Caffeinated"
ReplyDeleteHmmmm we eat good meals in pretty much the right proportions, I don't shop at a bunch of different stores either. It's really not hard or time consuming. I'm not snotty about it either, I really just don't understand why it's so hard for anyone to eat right. Buy good food, make good food. Easy.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. The first plate was just for kids, right? Because they totally left the wine off.
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent work. I'm still laughing (on the inside) while figuring out where on the plate the Xanax goes.
ReplyDeleteI agree w/ anonymous..I eat healthy, serve healthy food, not snooty about it. For breakfast, I usually have 1/2 a whole wheat English muffin topped with fresh tomato slices, avocado slices, a poached egg & salsa. My 3yo has whole grain cereal or granola bar with fruit & milk. But it hasn't always been like that. Love the post, tho.reminds me of my former life, ahh those were the days.
ReplyDeleteROFL - "...I really just don't understand why it's so hard for anyone to eat right."
ReplyDeleteladytiedye you poach an egg every morning? Seriously? COME ON. Please, you two, don't pretend it's easy for a person who a) works and b) has more than one child to pull off egg poaching every morning. 'cmon.
ReplyDeleteYou are pretty close to all the moms I know. Mine is:
ReplyDeleteRED: Microwaveable stuff
GREEN: Crackers & cheese when I stop at the neighbors, or pretzels left in my purse for emergency kid snacks.
ORANGE: Super-hot pizza slices I swipe from the one right out of the oven before I give my kids their slices, and the tip of my daughter's slice because she can't eat it unless I do this.
PURPLE: Red wine at 5pm followed by cereal and skim milk at 8pm because I was too busy snacking on the kids' leftovers to make myself dinner then they annoyed me so I rushed them to bed early and took a shower before my own PJs once they were in bed, and I needed something "real" in my belly before I scooped myself some TV Ice Cream when the house was (finally!) silent.
BLUE: Coffee
ROFL - "...I really just don't understand why it's so hard for anyone to eat right."
ReplyDeleteSeriously!!! I get that it "shouldn't" be hard but in real life, I have a 16 month old, a 2 1/2 year old and I'm one month away from giving birth AGAIN. When they're eating I can either eat with them or I can get something done. If I eat with them, I have to eat the exact same thing or I end up having to share half of my own food with them. By the time they go down for nap, I'm too tired to make my own lunch...at least anything resembling the 1st plate. I eat about 50-60% of my calories after bedtime at 7-8pm. I try for balance, but starvation cravings often take over and I end up eating high carb goodness like a loaded baked potato. And I would love to feed my whole family the 2nd plate but that's too freakin expensive and I'm not sure I totally buy into the organic thing anyway... I buy as many fresh fruits/veggies as we can afford and go frozen the rest of the way. Nothing is organic. I have plenty of friends who put on a good show about how they manage it though so I do have plenty of comparison guilt. :P
Hey moms who eat "right"...I'm guessing you 1) are blessed enough to stay home w/the kids or 2) have a nanny. Just a guess. I was a professional nanny for 15yrs (10-15 hour days)...the moms had great dinners...I often cooked them. Me??? My intake was that of the last plate w/chocolate replacing the wine. This post is hysterical...I forwarded to all mommy friends and now that I'm no longer have multiple children attached to me all day: I eat like Gwyneth...but have the body of a happy magic marker ;)
ReplyDeleteLMAO amazing. You ladies never fail to pinpoint the awesomeness of marriage/parenting - which I call marrianting.
ReplyDeleteLadytyiedye- if my kid ate that much fiber he'd be in the bathroom all day and I'd have time to eat a bag of chili cheese fritos and drink a mountain dew before I get the dreaded "moooom I went poop," call to come clean him up!
ReplyDeleteOh please. I am a SAHM and we eat more than our share of prepared foods and junk. I try to buy healthy stuff, but let's face it, we're still eating stuff from the freezer section at Trader Joe's.
ReplyDeleteParents that eat all organic, from scratch have something the rest of us don't - help. Be it their spouse, their mother, school, whatever. Someone else is watching the kids because it's next to impossible to cook FROM SCRATCH meals 3 times a day with little kids running around. I don't have that sort of help so I open a can of green beans and pair it with (cooked) frozen chicken and some bread from the Teeter bakery and call it dinner.
I agree with anonymous. I'm a busy working mom with a husband that travels A LOT. 2 girls, ages 6 and 9, both involved in a sport. I used to be a vegetarian, so menu planning is critical. On weekends I plan out the meals for the upcoming week, and I buy what I need to make those meals so there's no excuse. I allow one night each for take out and for drive through. We sit down to dinner as a family as much as possible because it's the only time we hear about their day. I don't try to tell them what to eat when they are at school, so junk ends up on their tray, and I know that. And they feel like they have freedom and are getting away with something.
ReplyDeleteIt's my job to try to put healthy foods in their bodies during the other meals. Breakfast is whole grain cereal and fresh fruit. Dinner is a protein, starch, fresh steamed veggie and sometimes dinner rolls (every kid loves dinner rolls) and salad, when I'm not too lazy to slice it up. Dessert is peanut butter w/sliced apples or fresh fruit. On rare occasions, chocolate. Milk to drink. The crock pot is a life saver…learn to use it.
If I can manage it, others can too. Both of my kids are fit and not fat, and they try different types of foods. They do complain, but I don’t cave in because that just creates a monster. I can't stand when parents complain that their kids won't eat what they cook. If they get hungry enough and you stop allowing them to eat junk or prepare special meals just for them, they will learn to eat what you offer or GO HUNGRY. Who is the boss here?
All mothers try...we do. We know better....but I think the world is conspiring against us! lol My kids have breakfast while I get ready for work. When I should be eating, I'm doing their hair and packing their "healthy nut-free lunches that are earth friendly with re-usable containers" the school keeps reminding us about. After I drop them off I hit up a drive thru and get a bucket of coffee - extra cream - and something deep-fried that would kill a Gwyneth. Delish. Screw it, nutirtion is for supper (on the nights I get home early enough to cook).
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is 7months old and my husband works swing shift. We decided when she was born she would live our weird schedule as longs as she could before we have to start preparing for preschool. So that means to bed between 2-3 am and up around noon. We get more time together as a family this way. But I am still alone with my monkey girl 8-12 hours a day. This means good meals for her, craptastic ones for me! I usually start my day with a big bowl of Corn Chex cereal with sugar on top around 3-4am before I go to bed. I wake up and down 2 cups of coffee. Throughout the next few hours I sip on a large cup of Zip Fizz, while I make feeble attempts at cleaning being interrupted every 5 minutes by sometimes giggling and cuteness, but usually whining and crying. If I'm lucky that day we will have errands to run, this means I get lunch because monkey girl often falls asleep in the car. I go to Wendy's and get a chicken nugget kids meal. Home again I pull a tupperware of spaghetti sauce out of the freezer (this is homemade, I make a 16lb vat of scratch sauce once every couple months for quick easy meals, YAY ME!)By the time I get it defrosted, monkey is crying because she is bored and I am taking to long. Dinner is postponed by 30min. I get the water on to boil. Monkey is crying again, this time she fell forward and hit her head on a toy. Dinner is postponed by another 30minutes. By now it it almost 10pm. Noodles go in monkey goes down for a nap (oh sweet Jesus, thank you!) I eat dinner in peace and alone, a well rounded meal of spaghetti with tons of Parmesan and nothing else. Monkey wakes up in time for hubby to get home. I throw monkey into his arms and disappear for an hour to devour everything I can get at quickly in the kitchen, usually ice cream, a fruit snack and a handful of chips. Put monkey to bed after an hour or so of family time. And start all over again with my cereal!
ReplyDelete@Anon - Who's in control? That would be my autistic child who would not just "go hungry", but would starve to death if he didn't get his "approved by him" foods. He may be a special case, but I've also seen this in normal children. They don't always have the hungry mechanism in place and will not eat. I know one child who pretty much lived off of Doritos and nuggets and would eat nothing else and it wasn't for lack of the family's trying. She had no care to eat anything except what she wanted and would starve if given the option. It may be easy or mildly difficult for you to enforce what your kids eat, but for some parents, it literally is not their lack of trying. Some things are just impossible. For those who worry about thier picky eaters, the McNugget/Dorito eater is now in her mid-20's and perfectly fine.
ReplyDeleteWe are switching to healthy eating now that the 4th baby is 7 months. I have gone the farthest and actually eat the absolute healthiest of anyone in the house (1 lb rw, 1 lb cooked veg a day). The children are a little harder to switch and I wish I had just been a food nazi right from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think cooking is highly overrated- I stand at the counter with a cutting board and the magic bullet and line them up on the barstools and have mama's restaurant. Smoothies with squash snuck into them, olives, cans of different beans, nice turkey lunchmeat(colombus) and a whole bunch of fresh produce to try, if I cook for them it's just noodles or rice. I think I've completely moved past the big, hot dinner of complications which sometimes is less healthy than my antipasto approach.
Before this I could have drank a pool full of coffee with real half n half and sugar. I am way calmer now! I am just scared of telling friends who are used to my cheeseburger habits! They will be sad and I don't want to eat yucky stuff just to make other people feel better, I have to keep it on the down low.
I often feel guilty that my daughter eats a phenomenal diet and her mother eats like crap...and then I remember: that's life. Without my Malbec and Oreos, I'm nothing.
ReplyDeleteI fall somewhere in the middle. I make a point to cook dinner from scratch almost every night, however grilled cheese and canned tomato soup will be dinner this evening. We always eat dinner together, it is super important to us. To the moms that are eating over the sink, STOP!!! You deserve a meal, with your family and your family deserves the time with you! If you need to beg, plead, bribe, or threaten your family to help out. It's hard to convey tone on the interwebs but I assure you I am saying this in my most supportive tone and no snotty what so ever, MOMS DESERVE A MEAL!!!! Breakfast, lunch, snack, after the kids go to bed, well that's something else entirely (Hello my stash of goodies).
ReplyDeleteEating healthy and organic is too expensive. The fact that is cost quite a bit more is undeniable. I would love to buy more fresh ingredients but we just can't afford it. We aren't even really getting by now. My son literally vomits if you have him try a bit of a food that he doesn't like the smell of and he smells everything! I am 41yrs old, 8mths pregnant (high-risk)
ReplyDeleteon bedrest and quite frankly I am to the point that I don't give a rats ass what he eats as long as he eats something! 3 wholesome square meals a day-it is a fairy tale for me.
At first I thought your plate was the second one. Then I was all... where's the alchy? What about the nilla wafers my kid doesn't eat? I sure as HALE ain't eatin those left over veggies. Gross. they are squishy.
ReplyDeleteI'm fueled by my addiction to diet coke, which basically aids me in getting through the day with my 4 small children, oh and one husband/child.
ReplyDelete"Who's the boss here"--it's easy to tell a 6 and 9 year old to go hungry while you cook. Not so easy to tell a whining 3 year old and climbing-up-your leg 14 month old. I'm a Registered Dietitian and DESPISE cooking. My kids don't do soda, I don't buy cookies or ice cream (mostly because hubby doesn't need it either). But if they are hungry and a slice of cheese or some goldfish before dinner helps quiet them then so be it. I've gotten tired of cleaning fruit off the floor because it got tossed there or throwing out the veggies because someone mixed them up with everything else on his plate and they can't be saved. As long as dinner is a protein, veggies and starch and they get fruit during the day and milk/yogurt then we're good to go.
ReplyDeleteWould it be nice if I could afford organic/free range/overblown food? Yes. Would also be nice if it wasn't me alone for 12 hours a day with 2 high energy little ones who LOVE to eat. But situations are what they are and we all have to make the best of what we have. So long as our little ones are healthy and growing we should be happy and supportive.
I have absolutely embraced plate number 3. I do cook for my family... I make my own yoghurt and granola from scratch. I make my own bread, my own jam, my own tomato sauce, my own apple sauce, my own canned fruit and tomatoes. I cook Cordon Bleu for my husband and all treats are from scratch. it's great, my husband loves it, my kids will sometimes not outright reject my homemade things on the first go....
ReplyDeleteBUT.....
I eat... burnt toast (1 slice) and peanut butter for breakfast (if I remember), washed down with 4 cups of tea (because I was up til freakin' 2 am the night before making homemade ketchup). I eat crackers and peanut butter for lunch, with a few random fruit like things (over the counter while I mix homemade yoghurt with homemade jam for THEIR lunches), followed up with WTDE (Whatever They Didn't Eat). When we go out, I don't order food for myself... but wait until they have rejected 90% of their meals. For supper, I eat whatever is left in the pot (because I sometimes underestimate appetites), followed by WTDE.
I have actually eaten a piece of prechewed Oka cheese. they were giving samples out in a store and my son (the "Nervovore" because he lives on other people's nerves, not food), insisted on taking a piece, which he chewed and then took out and handed to me (this after I told him not to try it, because I knew he would not eat it). I was left with the option of carrying the thing around in the store, putting it in my pocket or eating it, as there was no garbage can handy..... So... I ate it... turned out it was a significant portion of my lunch that day.
I make my children eat vegetables at least a few times a week, while I think I personally had some broccoli that came with my entree the last time I ate a restaurant... which might have been less than two months ago?? Oh, and soda. They are not allowed soda, for it is bad for them, while I figure my life sucks enough as it is, if soda makes me happy I can totally guzzle away.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. My children AND my dogs eat better than I do. Why is that? Well, a few months ago I found Wildtree and it's been a life-changer. Cost efficient, easy to prepare meals (while carrying a toddler on my ankle) that actually taste yummy...when I get to the store for some source of protein. Wine is always on my plate as well, though I prefer a blush. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteYou are so not alone! I do my best to feed us well, I really do. I even joined an organic food co-op. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've taken my kid through a fast food drive through on the way home from picking up a trunk load of healthy organic options from said co-op.
ReplyDeleteFull time working mom to 3 kids, and well the best meal I get is something "relatively" healthy from the caf. Many breakfasts and dinners get skipped due to the chaos that is our life. This week it consists for nanny interviews that can only take place at 8pm because of work, school, and soccer play offs. Dinner last night was at 930 pm. And it consisted of 2 mini chocolate bars, 2 glasses of Chard and some cheese and crackers. Hubby got home at 11 and came to kiss me good night and said "You smell like wine and cheese".....Yup, that's about right. My glasses broke, I need to see a dentist and desperately need a physical. I dont foresee any of those happening in the near future.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I am not the only one who needs caffeine! With a two year old and a 7 week old, I definitely need the caffeine. I try to feed my son healthy foods, but it is too expensive on a limited budget.
ReplyDeleteI realized early on that our son's bionic taste buds and extreme texture sensitivity/hyper gag reflex would make feeding him a healthy diet a lifelong issue. There ought to be a plate just for kids with such sensory issues, lol. Our son's would include PBJ, Kraft mac, grilled cheese, chicken strips, popcorn shrimp, fish sticks (all in the orange section, obviously), pasta (with ONLY Brummel & Brown margarine and a couple specific brands of parm/romano cheese blend - no acceptable substitutes exist, and tomato sauce is verboten), fruit juice, certain yogurts, any salty/crunchy snacks that don't involve spices, and an assortment of fresh fruit, and KETCHUP. NO green or crunchy veggies of any sort, EVER. And no beef, pork, or turkey. This is why I spend a small fortune on V8 Fusion, whole grain bread products, and multivitamins for him. My own plate kind of sort of looks like #1 on good days, with occasional episodes of #3. I've had my share of grilled cheese crusts and unfinished side dishes from both of my picky/hypersensitive kids, and until I developed a raging intolerance to caffeine when I hit 40, I lived on caffeinated diet soda and Kashi bars. Now it's decaf coffee and protein bars. . . .
ReplyDeletePlate #2 is a (very expensive!) pipe dream. Bwahahaha, what does my house look like - a spa? *snort* Not even - but I sure could use a masseur, a chef, and a concierge. And some of that pinot noir. And chocolate. Definitely more chocolate. It should have its own plate section.
So I just grabbed my "breakfast" out of the fridge... Turkey and cheddar(oh you farking Liar Oscar Meyer) Lunchables, iced tea and an Ensure. Did I mention I'm 21 weeks pregnant?
ReplyDelete~sigh~ Bring on the Shame and the Guilt...
I love the new guidelines. About 12 years ago, a friend of mine who is very into yoga, nutrition and is a personal trainer (not at all a Birkenstock wearer and also loves her Pinot) told me to divide my plate into fourths, nearly identical to this.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago we ditched the fast food, processed, Monsanto diet for one which is organic, heavy on veg and fruit, legumes and nuts and whole grains with a bit of dairy, combined in a good variety to provide a source of non-meat protein. We eat a little meat, but it's way down from our old habit in which every meal was centered around the beef. No need to envision Birkenstocks...organic is simply the way people grew and raised food before the abundance of petrochemicals and the way intelligent people with a goal of sustainability do today. And, believe it or not, ditching the processed packaging and going to a more balanced, whole foods diet, you save money, both now and down the road (health care bills, environmental impact). There are a lot of hidden costs in the "western diet."
Still love my Pinot though (well, I prefer Merlot or Muscato). And I have to have chocolate, though it's more dark chocolate than milk. It's all about balance, and this new pie chart is excellent.
Sorry for the seriousness, but this is a serious passion of mine :)
Seriously, how the heck do you guys get your kids to eat off your plate (aka eating the same thing you are eating)?!?!? I would cry with joy if this day ever came.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky enough to have a hubby who 1) cooks better than me and 2) makes it home in time for dinner most nights although not usually in time to cook it, so YES - I have help.
When he's away or working late I eat bits of leftovers while running around the kitchen making pb&j, making sure it's on the "right plate", soothing the tantrum than ensues when it isn't the right plate, pouring milk, wiping milk off the floor, cutting an apple ... at least they are little fruit bats, most of their caloric intake comes from the produce aisle (and once washed, takes no time to prepare!). I make carrot cake to get veggies into them.