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Dear Kate & Lydia,
I've had this dilemma and I've been trying to get some perspective on it. Let me preface my questions by saying that I just had my first baby last year, so while I'm a mommy, I'm aware that I'm a new mommy and still have much to learn. I'm not trying to be a Sanctimommy here (though if I'm being one, please tell me).
Now, after the last time they were at our house (which was an adult-only event that their parents brought them to anyway) I spent a week cleaning up the food the kids smeared all over my house (curtains, under the sofas, on the sofas, etc.). I got to thinking that perhaps since their parents don't bring anything for them to do, I should pony up and buy some toys and stuff for them to do the next time they came over.

Ladies, when I tell you the parents did nothing, I mean they did nothing. Dad was outside enjoying a beer, mom was in the kitchen talking with other ladies enjoying her vino. My own mother was about to jump out of her skin and we had a very... tense... conversation about how it would be unwise for her to mention any of this to the parents. It was extremely stressful to say the least.
My trouble is that the dad in this family is my husband's BFF. Hence, it's likely they'll be invited again. How the heck do I deal with this?!? How can I manage to tactfully get the parents to oversee their kids even a little while they're at my house? It's really bothering me. I don't expect perfect behavior, but I honestly getting to the point where I don't want to spend time with the kids or the parents, because of their behavior and the inattentiveness that goes along with it. Plus, I'm terrified that they'll get hurt, or that I'll absolutely lose it and say something I'll regret. Then there's the whole thing where my own kid gets older and sees them acting this way.
Help.
xo, Confused & Upset
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