Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Why Being a Mom is so Gross

And why is it warm?
I deal with disgusting crap all the time. Its one of the things no one tells you about parenting. That within ten minutes of becoming a mom you will begin constantly dealing with things that would make most Marines puke. 

I had no idea, but I have come to accept it as normal.  In fact, in addition to being somewhat famous for being a giant boobstain - I am also well known for the fact that I am so gross that I have no idea what other people think is nasty.  And so I say disgusting things all the time like it's no big deal and people are actually turning green all around me and I'm totally oblivious.

Hence the saying: "Oh. That was gross, wasn't it?"*

*I say at least ten times a day.

Here's why. My life is a constant struggle to minimize chaos and to wipe up other people's body fluids.
And that's why my threshold for such things is so high.  Here are some examples. You can even vote on them. In fact, please vote on them. Because it will let me know I'm not alone in this. That it's not just me mired in the sticky, foul-smelling miasma of family life.

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(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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