Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Domestic Enemies of the Daycare Mom

Many of us have dealt with the wonderous world of daycare. Our new friend Julie (who leaves the most hilarious comments in the history of ever) tells all about the domestic enemies of the mom whose kids are in day care.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi, my name is Julie (Hi, Julie). I write ilikebeerandbabies.com about the effects of mixing alcohol and children. I have a 21-month-old daughter, The Quiet Contemplator. I am also pregnant and due at the end of December with a son who I refer to as My Sponsor. I'mmarried to ADD Daddy and work a day job writing for a non-profit (that's where the big bucks roll in). I have no relatives who are crazy enough to deal with my child(ren) for free for nine hours a day, so I send my kid(s) to daycare. Yes, germ-filled, push-your-kid-off-the-swingset, pay-them-half-your-salary, daycare. There are myriad Domestic Enemies of the Daycare Mom. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

The First Day
Whether you are dropping your infant off for their first day ever away from the wicked awesomeness that is Mommy, or dropping your toddler off for their first day at a new daycare, the first day blows. Big time. The first time I dropped The Quite Contemplator off at daycare following maternity leave, I rocked with her in a rocker and bawled like a fat girl whose cake was stolen for about an hour. Thankfully, it was only hard on me. Newborns don't seem to even notice you are gone. Toddlers, on the other hand, add a little more drama to the situation. Cue dropping your child off for the first day at a new daycare only to have them cling to your leg screaming, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Thanks for that, kid. As if leaving you here so I can work on TPS reports all day wasn't hard enough.

Sadly, YOU can't RSVP no.
The Germy Kid
No, it is not just an urban myth that daycares are cesspools of germs. Hand, foot and mouth, roseola, croup, you name it, daycares are full of sexy-sounding illnesses that will invade your child. Somehow, all of these illnesses seem to be traceable back to one kid: The Germy Kid. What exactly does this kid do on the weekends that he comes back every Monday with a new plague to spread upon his peers? Roll around in the Infectious Diseases lab at the hospital? Eat contaminated meat and dairy? Lick toilet seats? Come on! Spray this kid down with some Lysol and put him in quarantine already. Mommy is out of sick days.

The Thermometer Mambo
Speaking of The Germy Kid, his outbreaks of mucus- and fever-inducing bacteria lead many mamas to do what I call the Thermometer Mambo. You know what I am talking about, daycare moms: the dance we do with our friend Tylenol to keep our kid in school just a little while longer so we can finally get some schmidt done at work. 100.1 is the most dreaded number for daycare moms. That is the number that means your kid is being sent home and has to stay there for at least 24 hours. This is fine, of course, if your kid is actually sick. But most of the time it is just teething/a cold/malaria/your child trying to sap your will to live. This is when we dose our kids up with Tylenol and pray that it will get us below the magic number long enough to get to work, pour ourselves a cup of coffee and check our emails before we get The Call.

The Call
The Call is what you get when you have lost the battle with Thermometer Mambo, or worse. Every mommy dreads seeing their daycare's number come up on their caller ID. It is never them calling to let you know that your kid is a ray of sunshine and puppy dogs and that they just wanted you to know how much they love having them. It is daycare calling to let you know that the projectile vomiting has commenced or that your kid is on the way to get stitches. The Call always seems to come when you are right in the middle of something really important, like giving a huge presentation, or reading posts from Rants from Mommyland. You immediately feel guilty for having the urge to hit "ignore" on your phone. I usually answer this call in some sort of, "What now?" fashion.

The Missed Milestone
It is inevitable that since your child is at daycare so often, they will hit some sort of milestone for them and not for you. Really? My baby took his first steps/said his first word/competed his doctoral thesis today? Thanks for letting me know. Now when we see him do it, it will be so much less special.

The Mean Kid
Every daycare has a mean kid. They are the one that you just look at and can see that their tiny beady eyes are filled with mirth. This is the kid that is always pushing, hitting, saying "mine!", stealing toys, etc. You know, the one you have to fight off the urge on a daily basis to tell they are going to grow up to be an ugly janitor with no friends. Often, this kid is also The Germy Kid.

The Incident Report
Sometimes these are the results of The Mean Kid attacking your child, sometimes these are reports of your child finally having enough from The Mean Kid and going all Cujo on them. Either way they are embarrassing. You end up feeling like either your kid needs to buck up and hit back, or your kid has been watching too much Ultimate Fighting and needs to back off. Awesomeness all around.

The It's-Almost-Cheaper-to-Stay-Home Sayer
Let me cut this one off right at the knees. No, it is not almost cheaper for me to stay home with my kid(s) than to work and send them to daycare. I am not sure if you are insinuating that I make less than a McDonald's worker, but daycare costs less than I make in a year. Also, staying at home doesn't pay for insurance, or provide for retirement, or the many other frivolous needs mama has. And, since my husband is in the ├╝ber high-paying profession of being a 4th grade teacher, mama has to work. So not only are you implying that I am not good with math, but also that I don't like my kid(s) enough to want to stay home with them, even though it is obviously the more finically sound decision. Thanks for that.

The Guilt
Like all Domestic Enemies, the Daycare Mom has to deal with The Guilt. Was my kid too sick to go into daycare today? Is The Mean Kid going to make them cry again? Is it really cheaper for me to stay at home with them? Am I a bad mom for working when we could make it on Spam and cheese if I just stayed home? The Guilt sucks. But, like all Domestic Enemies, some days it only sucks a little, and some days it sucks big time.

For more booze-filled rants from a Daycare Mommy, visit ilikebeerandbabies.com.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

95 comments:

  1. Because that's my life in a nut shell... Only it is cheaper to stick it out at the crib with 2 wretchedly screaming a.holes that have me drunk by 7. Now I just have more guilt for sucking worse than daycare.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOVE this one! The Call seriously gives me the chills. I'd pair the It's-Almost-Cheaper-to-Stay-Home with what I like to call The Judgement. Since you have #2 on the way I'm sure you've already heard comments like assuming that NOW you'll be staying home since #2 is coming - you know, since with an additional mouth to feed that income and health insurance becomes even less important. Heaven forbid you have a third and STILL choose to work. The Judgement also assumes you either hate your kids or hate your job. I actually like both a heck of a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes.

    What? Your relatives don't want to watch your little angel(s) for free all day long? Yeah, mine either.

    Ah, that germy kid. I give him the crazy eye each time I see him, just daring him to get close to my Baby.

    Oh, and the guilt. I can't live off of Spam. Or just live, for that matter, if I didn't work. Maybe in a cardboard box, but then my child would probably get taken away. Daycare it is.

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I bet the Germy Kid's mom does the Thermometer Mambo and tries to bridge that fever gap with Tylenol.... thanks for spreading it. A smidge irresponsible. I am a working mom but I know my first loyalty lies with being with my kids - 'truly' ill, or not.

    ReplyDelete
  5. bwahahahaha! Thanks for saying what I've been living.
    I have a kid with a sensitive gag reflex so if he saw something gross (like the daycare lady's cat's litter box or a baby's diaper being changed) he'd puke. Then I'd get "the call". He wasn't sick but he puked so....

    The judgement is the worst though. I put myself through life starting at age 17 when I left for college. I took a lot of loans and got a bachelor's degree and started teaching. I got the judgement from a supposed FRIEND whose parents had paid for her college and whose kid went to the school I taught at. HELLO...I am making it possible for you to stay home in silence all day. GRRRRR

    ReplyDelete
  6. I always want to ask the 'it's cheaper to stay home' people if they've been snooping through my financial records or something. No, no it isn't, actually. While 50% of my income goes to daycare, that still leaves the other 50% for things like, you know, FOOD AND SHELTER.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my gosh, this is so my life. Especially the part about staying home being cheaper. It's not even close. Also the guilt is HORRIBLE! Thanks for reminding me I am not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow, as a person who watches these bundles of joy for 50 hours a week so you can work thanks for making us feel even less appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  9. THANK YOU for this one! I hate the GUILT. The worst part of the guilt for me is knowing that I'm a better mommy BECAUSE I go to work. I tried staying home. I almost lost my mind. My whole mind. The tiny shred that remained was screaming for adult conversation and perhaps to feel needed for something that didn't involve poop or mucus. My favorite comment after making the very difficult decision to go back to work (my first was 1 year old, by the way): "I'm so glad I don't have to let someone else raise my kids." Nice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So true! All of it! Since I smartly spaced my children out by 6 years I paid for daycare for 12 years straight, we finally graduated last year! But now it's the After School Program, which while it is a lot cheaper the kids know a lot of kids don't have to go and they are old enought to realize being in school an extra 3 hours blows. And they remind you of it, and they have no problem being judgy on you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. As a licensed child care provider, I'm not sure how to respond to this post. I view my daycare parents & myself as a team. We are working together with a common goal - a happy, healthy child. A little too rainbows & butterflies, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  12. They only asked for HALF your salary??? How did you manage to find daycare so CHEAP?!

    ReplyDelete
  13. "The Call always seems to come when you are right in the middle of something really important, like giving a huge presentation, or reading posts from Rants from Mommyland."

    Bahahahahaaa LOVE it!!

    I am EXTREMELY grateful that my Mom retired to care for our kids. My daughter stayed home with Grandma for 2.5 years before I subjected myself to the rules/regulations of preschool. My son is 21 months old, and has been home with Grandma since he was born. We’ll probably get him into preschool next year, and then my Mom can have her life back. :-)

    I’m also grateful you mentioned that your hubs is a teacher. Mine is also, and it’s my own personal Daycare-Mommy hell. He can *never* take off for “sick kid” emergencies. Only “planned” time off (scheduled doctor’s appointments, etc) since he has to schedule a substitute for his classes. Every stinkin’ needs-to-be-picked-up-at-daycare incident falls on me to handle. I’m fortunate that there have not been many.

    It also seems like a lot of planned daycare things (field trips, parties, Back-to-School night, etc) conflict with something Daddy has going on at HIS school. siggggghhhhhhh

    ReplyDelete
  14. THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME and unbelievably true.

    My favorite was "The It's-Almost-Cheaper-to-Stay-Home Sayer." A: Because it only feeds "The Guilt B: Because I would love to hand shove one of the 5 different student loan payments I am making right now down their pretty little throat and C: Thanks. I apparently make less than 6500 a year. Glad to know you think the work I do would put us lower than the poverty line. No really. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm at home with #3 right now, but already dread the return of these Domestic Enemies. They are special in that they can plague you while temporarily OUT of your life...sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I may or may not be doing the thermometer mambo right now :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate to pass judgement, but you are sending your sick kid to daycare so you can, what? Read blogs that justify your way of thinking? Real important work you are doing. And I am sorry, these important presentations? Please. What a joke. I'm sure you are all saving the world.

      Delete
    2. And one more thing, guilt is the correct emotion to feel when it is justified.

      Delete
  17. With number one I did stay home and it was all sunshine and rainbows. But by number two we needed to buy a bigger house or that cupcake baked by the devil was going to have to sleep in a drawer! Enter mommy working...it's been all the things you mentioned and more. I did have a relative watch them for awhile. It's very very hard to fire a relative. Her oldest was regularly tormenting number one, so it had to be done. In home daycare? Yikes! I got a lady with an attitude about what my kids wouldn't eat. When she told me what it was, well crap I wouln't eat it either! We got fired from there. We do have a new daycare...very nice wonderful people. However in the wrong school district so a whole new set of problems!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow way to go on making us the daycare workers feel guilty for watching your children and making THE CALL when you play The Thermometer Mambo. Yes this lets you get to work but now we have to deal with your sick child who then spreads his/ her germs to everyone else in the room and to the teacher. And then you have the nerve to complain b/c your child keeps getting sick and wonders why. For me it was cheaper to stay home and watch one other child with my own. I make more now staying home then a I did working taking care of other kids. Just remember to be nice to the people who takes care of you children while you go to work.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, yesser! This captures my life so well! The guilt is killer, especially from the other moms who makes comments like "I could NEVER leave my kids for someone else to raise every day." Or "Well {daycare provider} is practically the same as Mom, right, because they spend so much time with her." Thank you, but NO. I am still Mom and I resent your implication that I do not count as much because my kids go to daycare while I work.

    ReplyDelete
  20. @Laura - I don't think this post is ANYTHING against the daycare providers. I know that I really value my daycare providers and literally could not function without them. But there are difficulties that come along with children and daycare, no matter how great the daycare is.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I actually don't make enough money to remotely cover sending my son to daycare. I pick up teaching a few classes as an adjunct professor during the times my husband isn't teaching classes. Depending on how you run the numbers, I make less per course as a single student pays to take the course.

    This frees my time to do awesome things that you have to do with essentially a single income, like cutting coupons, cooking every meal, and washing diapers. And attempting to keep the house clean in the wake of a toddler.

    ReplyDelete
  22. As a preschool teacher, the germy kid is MY big enemy. I caught a bug earliet this year that did not have me pooing right for over a month!

    I also got fifths disease from my little monsters (term used in a most loving way around Halloween)

    I can deal with mean kid, it is his mother who thinks his being mean is cute that I want to sit on the thinking spot.

    BTW, a litle tip for spring and fall, where it may be cold in the morning, but 80 in the afternoon....Ask your teacher about the coat policy. We HAVE to put a coat on the kids and enforce them wearing the coats when we go out if they walk in wearing one (this has been true in three of the centers I have worked in). Common sense does not rule here. So, if you don't want your kid overheating let the teacher know she is alowed to use her brain on this matter.

    ReplyDelete
  23. maybe the daycare providers who are also mommies themselves should do a domestic enemies blog. a good friend who i'm in awe of does in home daycare for a bazillion kids and has 3 of her own while juggling all the different grades of the daycare kids and her own and their many activities. did i mention her hub is active duty military and while he is awesome sauce all his own, when he deploys she STILL holds it together? i've done the working mom thing, sahm thing, but i don't have the balls to be a daycare provider cuz they have RULES they have to follow. and if germy kid comes to an in home daycare, home kids and mom and dad get sick too. this was a great blog by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A note to the wonderful people who provide daycare: though we daycare mamas hate the stuff that goes along with group care, we love you. It is because you rock. Daycare is what it is. There is no amount of bleach or Lysol you can use to keep my kid from getting sick while they spend their days in a room with seven other germy kids. You also can't stop mean kids from slapping my kid, no matter how much positive reinforcement training you do. Some eggs are just bad from birth. I love my daycare and the teachers who work there. They know that because I tell them that on a weekly basis.

    ReplyDelete
  25. For the daycare workers who were offended by this post, please don't be. This mother was ranting about the enemies of a daycare mom (which is the point of the "Domestic Enemies..." series) and she did not say the workers, so obviously you are allies. At no point did she complain about how you do your job.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Even if I could stay home I wouldn't bc
    1) I would lose my ever-loving farkatke mind
    2) my kid is almost 9 so what the hell would I do with myself during the day? The dishes? Cleaning? I don't think so
    3) my husband is self-employed so someone (ie me) needs a 401K with employer-matching funds, health insurance, etc
    4) I enjoy working (I know this blows some people's minds but working keeps me sane)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well your story is little bit different I would love to work too if my child is 9 and in school all day I will be bored at home. I love my job too, I work as a School Nurse, my child is just 7 months old she go to daycare, it's hard, almost felt like quitting but we need the money. I'm jealous to those can afford to be SAHM for their little ones.

      Delete
  27. Ugh. My daughter's daycare and the people that take care of her are really nice. Sometimes we're annoyed at pickup because she is poopy, messy, wet, or otherwise in need of *something*, but it's the guilt rearing its ugly head.

    I HATE that my MIL likes to constantly tell us that daycare is expensive and she's not getting anything out of it at such a young age. Um... I don't see her volunteering to watch her so my husband and I can afford housing and um... food.

    We haven't dealt too much with some of the others, but the mean kid just moved up to the next class... where we will be in a month. I swear if she pulls my daughter's hair once. . .

    Finally, to the one who said she may be doing the thermometer mambo now: we just got our daughter's back down to normal. If your kid has the same thing, it's hopefully short-lived!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Just for the record tho I admire stay at home moms bc I couldn't do their job in 1 million years

    ReplyDelete
  29. OH even yesser....Julia's Mother made a comment to her on The. First. Day. that Shiny went to daycare, something along the lines of, "Well, I never would allow you children to be raised in the hands of strangers, but I guess if you put MORE MONEY before your child that's your business." ow...my womanballs...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Love it! I stay at home with my kids now that my last company went bankrupt but I remember the joy of daycare and the guilt all too well. My daughter came home with bite marks on her arms and even her face, and a myriad of third-world illnesses. I hated the guilt and the expense but even Moms should be able to work to support themselves or to satisfy their ambitions without feeling like they are neglecting their children.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Don’t appreciate the part about the giving the kid Tylenol and sending the little one to Daycare when playing the thermometer mambo. Seriously, I would like to think that most parents don’t do this. I’ve been a daycare mom for 8 years and have NEVER given my kid pain reliever and sent them to daycare when I’ve suspected him/ her to be sick in hopes that I could work for more of the day. Will admit though that I am guilty of the “just-in-case” dose upon return to daycare – you know, when you’ve missed work for 3 days because your kid is sick and you are pretty sure he is well because he was bouncing off the walls the evening before, but you give him Ibuprofen before sending him to daycare because now you really, really need to get some work done.

    Love your comments about THE CALL, though. Seeing the daycare number on caller ID truly sucks. Also love your closing: some days it only sucks a little, and some days it sucks big time. AMEN!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I worked in a daycare center for 3 years and am now a SAHM.

    Wow. Ever consider that the reason daycares have The Germs could be because so many parents send their kids when they're sick and play thermometer mambo?

    Maybe we should talk about domestic enemies of the daycare provider...like parents who constantly play thermometer mambo and get the other kids and staff sick. How about after we make The Call (which, by the way, I never enjoyed, especially because so many parents got nasty with me, as if their kid getting sick was MY fault) - the parent says they'll be there ASAP and shows up 2-3 hours later? Or the parent who ignores the 24-hour fever rule and brings the child back to daycare the next morning, swearing up and down that their 103 degree fever went away just as SOON as they got home! Uh-huh, right. Look, I realize you have work to do, but we have rules to follow. If your kid is sick, we have to do what we can to minimize the spread of illness. This parent is also usually the one who gets pissed when another parent plays thermometer mambo with their child and ends up getting the whole class sick. You can't have it both ways!

    Let's talk about the incident reports and the parents who argue with you - their little precious Jimmy or Susie couldn't possibly have bitten/hit/kicked/etc. another child or staff! We don't write these because they're fun. Also, the incident report isn't a judgement on you as a parent - kids fight, we get it. We just legally have to document it.

    My favorite would have to be The Judgement from parents who seem to believe that daycare providers are beneath them. The parent who never says hi, bye, or thanks for keeping my child safe all day. The one who believes that daycare workers are in it because they don't have any education or couldn't find a better job. Thankfully this isn't the majority of parents I dealt with.

    I always wanted the parents of the kids in my class to feel like we were a team. We worked together to make sure your kid was happy, healthy, well-mannered, respectful and educated. Like Laura said, maybe this is a little too butterflies and rainbows, but it was how I ran my classroom and how the other staff did too.

    ReplyDelete
  33. As a working mom with a 15 month old and another one due in 1 month, I completely relate to everything in this post. And I have had the good fortune of running in to the snitchy mom who makes the "I am glad money is more important than your kid" comment. To that heifer I would just like to say, "I grew up poor. I work my tail off so my kids will have a life I didn't have including not having to worrying where the next meal is coming from. So, why don't you go ahead and shut it. Have a lovely day!"

    ReplyDelete
  34. To some of the moms who were posting comments at the top who are saying that their kids make them lose their minds, they can't be at home with them, etc., I just want to say, these are still your children. As funny as it is to talk about why motherhood is so hard and to get some encouragement from that, it's offensive to hear you basically say you can't be with your kids or you'll go crazy. Are there days everyone feels that way, sure...but if it's seriously ongoing and you would rather send your kids to daycare so you don't have to deal with them...I wouldn't admit that in a public forum.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Why are all the daycare providers going to the angry place? Nobody is saying that you are not doing your jobs and doing it well. It is hard on you guys AND parents when dealing with sick kids. It is a bad situation. You are trying to contain the germs and parents are often dangling precariously on the edge of losing their job because of how often they are out. It is a lose-lose at times. And I think the tylenol dosing line mentioned that it was when you know your child is just teething or has a sinus infection or something else non-contagious. So, please everyone, let's simmer. It's Tuesday. No reason to get angry like it is a Monday...

    ReplyDelete
  36. I've been the daycare mommy, the daycare provider, and the sahm over the past few years, and I can totally relate to the whole thing. Every bit of it. Love this post - the entire thing - but realize that someone is always going to be offended by something. It's life, and you can't please everyone all of the time.

    :)
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  37. I loved this post. I have been every mom from SAHM, working outside the home utilizing daycare, had a daycare at my home and currently work from home and have a combination of all of it. No matter what you do there are domestic enemies...and THAT is why we have RFML to keep us sane. As far as daycare providers we have run the gammet from AWESOME daycare providers (the little old lady who watches your kid for $10 a day no matter what - fever, puking, snow drifts ass-high, must leave my baby overnight) to the 18 year old girl fresh out of the GED program who can't spell her OWN name right on the incident form and works for less than minimum wage because no one else will have her. These enemies are real - no thermometer mambo for this family (I am scared of consequences like a kindergartner in the principal's office) but everything else applies .. the call ... OOOOH THE CALL!!! Immediately you think that there has been a bus/train/plane accident that has compromised the integrity of the structure your child is located in. And the MEAN KID. We had a little meeting with daycare staff (the GED girl) and basically advised her that if she couldn't protect our precious little flower, then our precious little flower (PLF) would do it herself (he was a spitter). PLF was instructed that the NEXT time he spit on her she was to punch him in his face as HARD as she could. He only spit on her one more time...and never again. He continued to spit on the staff and other children until A YEAR LATER he was removed from the pre-school.

    ReplyDelete
  38. What a great post! My Ringling Brothers never went to daycare because I had the great (mis?)fortune of being a SAHM for part of the time and for another part of the time my boss hired a nanny to watch over my and his children - so I could work more. There is an entire set of enemies for people with nannies. AND, all of these things, Mambo, Germy kid, Mean kid, THe Call, they all happen when your kids go to school too! So take comfort in the fact that you are getting the all out of the way earlier than everyone else ... you over-achievers, you!

    In school it gets worse too because not only do you have all of this BS, but then you HAVE TO VOLUNTEER FOR SHIT! Can you make 40 dozen cookies for the Santa visit by friday? Ummm, it's Thursday. I know. Whuck? At least there is no volunteering in daycare.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Christy, I'm not sure how the Tylenol dosing comment was originally intended, but at the daycare we were more than willing to work with parents if we knew the fever was caused by something non-contagious: teething, immunizations the previous day, etc.

    It's the parents who dose their sick kids in the morning and send them to daycare, then act surprised when their kid spikes a fever a few hours later. I had eight kids in each class for three years, and I only had two parents total who were really bad about this. So - it wasn't the majority of parents at all - but still very frustrating for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  40. I just want to say that you guys are a whole-lot-of awesomeness. Like even more awesomenesser than t-boxs', imaginary "Mommy-time", and the glorious moment when your children stop crapping in their pants.... Or on the floor. THAT is pretty funking awesome! I need a blog about domestic enemies of the ADHD kids Mom...Is there one? If not, I am jumping right on that!!

    ReplyDelete
  41. My favorite "virus" notice that they tape up on the door to my kid's daycare room? Pin worm. If you've never heard of it, do yourself a favor and don't google it.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Wow, I've been on both ends of this and I know that neither is easy. I truly think that the Thermometer Mambo is the biggest Domestic Enemy of both moms and caregivers.

    It does seem that for those first 4 years everything gives kids fevers and kids in daycares are passing around enough viruses to keep the noses running year round.

    As a care provider, we know you have to get stuff done for work and the guilt of dropping off a sick kid who wants you is immense, BUT it really sucks on our end. We're left with a kid who looks "off" and we know is going to be miserable and need us A LOT, but will still be asking for Mommy/Daddy constantly. Think of all the energy that goes into comforting your sick bub once you stay home with them...now imagine doing that while providing quality care for a handful of other kids too. It truly makes us feel disrespected. Plus, if we have our own kids in the daycare, there's a big chance that we're going to be up all night with them when they catch that virus...

    On the flip side, I understand and try not to panic when kids come in not feeling well. There's a big difference between the baby teething and toddler who has the slight runny nose that everyone has had (because once they show symptoms, there's a chance they've already spread it) and the kid you bring in who's lethargic, with sunken looking eyes, and flushed cheeks. I don't want the really sick ones, so I'm willing to take them when they're just a little out of it.

    I could write my own Domestic Enemies post about working in childcare and this definitely hit that nerve, BUT I really can identify with the moms dropping off too. We really are just all trying our best.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I have been the working mom... dropped my first precious baby girl off at a wonderful home daycare when she was just 8 weeks old. She stayed with this fantastic woman until she was 2 1/2 years old. But... during her time at daycare she contracted RSV, Scarlet Fever (yes, Scarlet Fever... it's a form of Strep), she had 11 ear infections in 10 months, pneumonia, countless colds, pink eye, several "unknown" viral infections that resulted in head to toe rashes.... It got old. What got even more old? My boss writing me up for missing work when my kid had pneumonia and I had the balls to stay home with her for four days. OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!! After sitting down with the bills and our salaries, my husband figured it was a $40 difference in the positive column that my salary was making. So yes, for us it was cheaper for me to stay home. I have been a SAHM for 11 years now. And GASP... now I'm a HOMESCHOOLING Mama too. I love my kids... I love being home with them and I love teaching them. Yes, there are days that make me think I'm losing my mind BUT they are few and far between. I don't put down the working mom's because I've been there.... but I would never say that I couldn't be home with my kids because I can't be around them that long or anything along those lines.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dear Julie,

    Can we be best friends? I already feel like we're sharing a brain, except that you're funnier than me!

    I would add to your list - for those of us who are so unfortunate - "The Childless Boss Who Doesn't Give a Schmidt." I had to call mine on Sunday night to tell her that I would be out the next day to take my son to the doctor and have a rash checked out (thank you very much, Germy Kid). Her response? "We're very busy this week." Thanks a lot, jerk. This of course led to a terrible bout of The Guilt that has turned me into my own It's-Almost-Cheaper-to-Stay-Home Sayer even though I love my job. You pretty much nailed all the crummy Daycare Mom feelings I've had in the last week, and it's good to know I'm not alone.

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  45. What about when you realize that YOUR kid is the Mean Kid? That is a particularly fun aspect of being the Day Care Mommy :) That is when The Guilt ceases to be 'The Monkey on Your Shoulder" and becomes an all consuming fire breathing dragon! I pictured mugshots, court dates and intensive therapy sessions down the road of my little precious baby's future when The Call came in... and the incident report came home... and it happened the next day... oh and the next... Well, shoot! My kid's a psychopath -- where did I go wrong? (When in reality it was that ever precious stage of 'testing boundaries' that shows up somewhere around the two year mark... I swear I almost lost my ever-loving-mind. But we emerged on the other side and my baby is as "sweet" as ever. Excuse me while I go to my Happy Place and hum to myself while I picture Valedvictorians, law degrees and Nobel prizes ;)

    ReplyDelete
  46. Whew! I went through all that with my first, I remember those dang incident reports - one kid was a habitual biter AND the germy one, ew.
    When my second came along (12 years later, thankyouverymuch) I decided to open a dayhome..... Yep, someone should have done an intervention, because that is the WORST job ever. I was my own boss, hurray, but that just meant I had to deal with parents who didn't think I was worth the piddly amount I was asking - less that $5/hr/kid BTW - and paid grudgingly and LATE, because apparently I don't have bills and this isn't really an "income" I didn't need it on time. Who were late and did't call, just didn't show, didn't send diapers, didn't call when they were late picking up thier little angels, sent them sick and were UNREACHABLE, and tons of other awesomely great stuff.

    Someone needs to do an enemies of the daycare provider rant. I'd read that with my glass of...well heck, my glass of whatever alcohol was currently drinkable in my house after bedtime!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. LOVE this post. My kids are in school now but we did the daycare dance from birth to 5. We were at a commercial, standalone center for most of that time - which is a whole different kettle of fish from the one person in-home provider. This post is clearly about the former. With the in-home provider, you have a relationship with one person and you love her or leave her. With an INSTITUTION you may like the overall care of the place but still be tormented by a) the occasional bad egg that really just works for a paycheck, or b) the pissy ladies in the front office who don't know your kid from Jack and really are all just about the Rule Book which says a fever of 100.1 in a teething child is a much greater evil than the staph aureus-spraying snotball in room 3. (Best.Photo.Ever. for the Call!) So, when I read this post it is really nothing against the wonderful folks who are actually caring for our kids - it's those people who look down on you as their own domestic enemy because you are leaving your children there "So you can work." Excuse me, aren't you working here too, pillbug?

    ReplyDelete
  48. First let me just say that I love our Preschool. They have given my child fabulous care for the past 4 years, and it is a blessing to know that he is safe and sound while I work. What absolutely amazes me is how little our society sees fit to pay these folks - they take care of the most precious thing in our lives yet we pay the people that pick up our trash more (no offense to sanitation workers)... OK, off the soapbox...

    With that being said, I can totally relate to this! Just had an absolutely horrendous drop off this morning and my son is FOUR. "The Guilt" is a killer for me...

    ReplyDelete
  49. I thought this post was just bitter against daycare workers, and not funny at all. The thermometer mambo? That's just mean--to the sick kid who probably doesn't feel good, and to the other kids/teachers that are being knowingly subjected to sick germs. What is wrong with people? Yep, this blogger should be kept to her own blog. Keep the rants funny!

    ReplyDelete
  50. I have been a childcare provider for 15 years. I am also a mom. I did not take offense to anything that Julie had to say. She's right. The bottom line is SICK kids suck.FOR EVERYONE....MEAN kids suck. FOR EVERYONE... THERMOMETER MAMBO sucks. FOR EVERYONE.
    I can totally relate to having to pay a lot of money for childcare. That is why I got into this field, so that I could be with my children, save on the cost for our family, and make a little money int he process. There are certainly domestic enemies of the daycare provider, but at the end of the day it really just sounds snitchy...so I will refrain. Whether you are caring for your own children, or being paid to care for someone else's, we all have challenges. Working as a team, communicating with each other, and all doing our level best to make sure the little devil cupcakes are happy, nurtured, loved and well cared for should be our priority. This means making *and* receiving those dreaded phone calls and TAKING IT ALL IN STRIDE with being a responsible adult who cares for these little ones.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I would never dream of pushing the "It's Cheaper to Stay Home" line on another mom, but for me it actually was the case. I made a decent income, but my commute was hell and I was spending an obscene amount of money just on gassing the car up. But like Subaruthie said, the trade off was that for it to be cheaper, I now get to use my time on a whole bunch of home things (Cooking all the meals, including husband's lunch - I had deli withdrawal for the first few months, washing the cars at home instead of zipping through the carwash, clipping coupons, etc.)
    For us it works, but I'm also the type who didn't like dealing with the jackholes at work and am happier being home even with the trade-offs. It's easier to have my own kid be annoying rather than Tim from Accounting.

    Every mom needs to do what she has to or wants to do. I tip my hat to the working moms here because I would be headed to crazy town trying to deal with work and then coming home to essentially a second job.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I am going to speak for all childcare providers here and say IT IS NOT TEETHING! Fever over 101.1 or 101.2 is an illness. Swollen gums, clear runny nose, maybe a low fever under 100 can be teething and all of those things are generally allowed within daycare illness policies. Please for the love of all that is good do not dose your kids. It really is why daycare kids are sick so much! Who wants to start working on Domestic Enemies of the Home Daycare Mom?

    ReplyDelete
  53. I love your blog, I am a in home daycare provider and think this stuff is halarious! I just started my own blog as well. I would love if you would stop by and look at it maybe even follow it! thanks so much
    Tara
    thelifeofamckinley.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  54. To this Anonymous poster To some of the moms who were posting comments at the top who are saying that their kids make them lose their minds, they can't be at home with them, etc., I just want to say, these are still your children. As funny as it is to talk about why motherhood is so hard and to get some encouragement from that, it's offensive to hear you basically say you can't be with your kids or you'll go crazy. Are there days everyone feels that way, sure...but if it's seriously ongoing and you would rather send your kids to daycare so you don't have to deal with them...I wouldn't admit that in a public forum.

    I want to say that I love my child with every fiber of my being and all the pieces of my heart. I was a SAHM for 9 months while she was a newborn and I loved it. However, it was difficult and we were completely stark-raving broke. From all the stress, I lapsed into a significant, clinical depression that put me into therapy & on medication.

    I can't believe I just admitted THAT in a public forum. Basically, I like working & I like myself better when I am working. I love being with my child and spending time with her, just not all day, every day. Besides if I was home all day, I would have to do ALL the chores and that's not how I roll. Thankfully, my hubby is more than helpful in that area. That's just my point of view, YMMV.

    ReplyDelete
  55. "Some eggs are just bad from birth."

    It's so sad that you believe this.

    Don't tell me... your kid is the Germy Kid?

    Oh yesser, I will be judging now.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Duuuuuuuude, I SO needed to read this today. My kids have been driving me NUTS and making me VERY seriously consider sticking their little a$$es in daycare regardless of the fact that as a teacher it would cost me more than what I earn to find an even marginally good placement. But I won't. Because I don't think I want to deal with even MORE germs or the hitting or the missed anything. Besides, it would probably be MY kids who hit the others and spread the germs (I swear I never know they are sick until after they have spread the Plague). So, no day care for us and no work outside of the home for me until #2 is in Kindergarten. And THEN I can get the calls about the hitting and fevers.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Anonymous said anonymously, "it's offensive to hear you basically say you can't be with your kids or you'll go crazy."

    Oh no. An anonymous person on the internet is offended that not every woman wants to be home all day with her kids. However will we sleep?

    -SAHM whose kids drive her INSANE.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Alright, I have to put my .02 in here. While I thought the blog was funny and true, I can see both sides. I have been the Daycare Mom and am currently the At home provider. You complain about the germy kid. Well when you are bringing your doped up kid into my home, YOUR kid is the germy kid and now MY kids are getting sick in their OWN HOME. And guess what, if one of my own kids gets sick or if I get sick, then you are going to be in a world of hurt at 6:30 am when I have to call you to cancel daycare for the day. So just save us all the pain and keep your sick kids home...where they would probably be more comfortable anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Some people commenting need to click on the link at the top that says...
    Is This the Blog for You?
    Maybe then you won't be offended and you will realize that this blog does not fit what you should be reading.

    Love the post! Everyone can relate! No need to get offended:)

    ReplyDelete
  60. I love this! My oldest has started school (though it means I juggle different before and after school programs) but my youngest is still in daycare. When daycare/school/before/after care calls, my first response is "Who did what to whom?"

    I resorted to the Tylenol mambo more with #2 than with #1. I was thisclose to getting fired for staying home too often with a sick baby. Teething and colds got tylenol. I noticed some comments aimed at moms like me, but I like to provide my kids with food, shelter, and warm clothes. Sue me.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Oh my goodness, I think the "I couldn't stay at home in a million years" comments are almost as worse as the "it'd be cheaper to stay at home" ones. Why does either "side" have to be the better? Every mama's just doing the best she can for her kiddo, bottom line. There's no need to get grouchy about it...

    ReplyDelete
  62. Thanks to all you mamas who get it. I am truly sorry for all of you that are offended and take this personally.

    As for the Thermometer Mambo and sending my kid in when I know that she is sick, I can see how people would be offended, but this is not the case (as stated in the post). I go to a wonderful state-accredited center that can not allow children in when they are over 100 (thus, trying to contain even the Germy Kid's outbreaks). Every time my daughter breaks a tooth, her temp is almost always exactly 100.1. I imagine all of you could see the frustration in having to pick her up when her temp is 100.1 and I know for sure she is not sick because she is drooling like a mental patient and chewing on anything you put near her mouth. However, because I go to a good center, they still have to follow the rules and send her home. I would never send my sick kid to school.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I am a SAHP because daycare would have taken almost all of what I earned. (after I paid it for 2 kids, I'd have had $5K take home, and that wasn't worth the trade off. Now with 3, I'd be paying to work.) (I get insurance though my spouse.) So while I can't speak for the people you speak to, I can say that when I say it-is-almost-cheaper-to-stay-home, I mean for me, it really is for me. So sometimes when people say that it's not a critisism of you, it's a statement about themselves. And you would not believe the grief I get about it. People tell me I can't be telling the truth, or I can't do math. So then I sit down and have to write it all down for them -- and hand 'em a calculator.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I was told by a daycare worker that daycare parents don't actually raise their own kids, since by the time they pick them up at the end of the day, they only have time for dinner and a bath before bed, so it's the daycare workers who are raising the kids. Oh, really? That's a domestic enemy, right there. Not my daycare worker, thank goodness.

    ReplyDelete
  65. This was so funny I had to stop reading and take a laugh break. Just want to add that a friend of mine had to take her kid out of daycare because mom is immuno-compromised(sp?) due to having survived cancer. She couldn't afford for her kid to bring home gifts from the germy kid. As funny as it is, the tylenol mambo (which I have done once or twice in the past) is serious business. In your defense, if you are sure your child is just teething, mambo away.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Let me add I was lucky enough to find two fabulous home day care providers that are still family friends even though my bash brothers are 7 and 10. Day care providers are a special kind of angel!!

    I am also a teacher and let me tell you the thermometer mambo never ends. I have kids puke in my room in the afternoon and come back the next day. And I did try to get to my kids asap when they were sick, but had to wait on the sub to arrive ;)

    ReplyDelete
  67. I currently work in a daycare with 1-year-olds and thanks to a fun game of tylenol mambo not only do I have an entire classroom with croupe but I've managed to bring this home and now have an entire family with it too! I will tell you this, your daycare people know when you've been playing and we want to jab you in the eye! YOU are the parent with the germy kid who is making the other kids sick. If you child is running a temperature please keep them home, if you child isn't running a temperature but is obviously sick, KEEP THEM HOME!! Guess what, I get paid by the hour, I have to pay my daycare bill too, and I don't get sick leave so when I have to stay at home because you decided to gamble with MY health I have to pay for it, literally. I don't care if you have "one more thing to get done", so do I.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Sheesh! Making an enemy of those who provide daycare for your child, just after piling on those who save preemies lives in the neonatal intensive care unit. Energy would be better spent looking for solutions.

    ReplyDelete
  69. I have also been on all sides of this topic. Licensed daycare teacher for 12 years; daycare supervisor for 8. Had a little girl and brought her to the workplace daycare I managed, The daycare was closed due to company restructuring and I have been a home daycare provider for the past 6 years.
    This entire situation has joys and difficulties for everyone.
    Everything that has been discussed already?I have seen it ALL!! And then some.
    At the end of the day, it is all about the kidlets.
    We - parents and teachers- all want the children to be happy and healthy. To have great experiences and to learn to be respectful, empathetic, curious, independent, joyous little people.
    We HAVE to work together to ensure this happens.
    Excellent communication, mutual respect, common sense and the unwavering love we have for the children will always help us achieve this.

    One of my per peeves though? Being called a daycare worker, not teacher.
    Because we ARE teachers and should be recognized as such.

    We ARE all a team - our child's team. Play fair out there people.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Not psyched about the thermometer mambo either. I would strongly suggest to anybody doing the "thermometer mambo" on a regular basis, why don't you look into a backup plan? I know my old employer actually had a service we could use where if your daycare provider was ill or your child was ill, anything like that, they would send someone out to you for a nominal fee. And if it really, truly is a teething situation, your daycare should be able to work with you on it, maybe you can discuss it with doctor and daycare together. We were very lucky in that my FIL retired when I was pregnant. When my son gets sick and it's not a good time for either the Hub or I to call in, we hit up the grands for help. Look around and see who in your networking circle might be willing to help you out. Incidentally, my son had reflux as a baby and pukes very easily now. Our daycare just gives him some water and lets him rest for a bit if he doesn't seem ill otherwise, and it's a daycare center, not a home daycare. I had heard nightmares about daycares sending kids home if they puked right away, but hey truly get it with Daniel. They call me and before I can figure out a plan to pick him up they're assuring me he is FINE they just wanted me to know and it's almost time for pickup anyway. If your kid has a cold, kids will get colds. They suck. Life sucks. They gotta get a cold to have immunities. Go ahead and send 'em. But if they DO have a fever, please keep them home. You're just making it worse for yourself- If they daycare has a 24 hour without fever policy, you're gonna miss a day and a half and not just a day, because now they KNOW she has a fever. My son went to a very loving home daycare until first grade when he outgrew the situation. It was very sad for us to leave her, we all cried a LOT over it, but ultimately I would do the exact same thing over again. The home daycare provider understands teething fevers. But- if your home daycare provider gets really sick, what's your backup? As to the mom who was getting in trouble for being out long periods with a sick child, if your employer is over a certain size, throw FMLA at them. If your child was sick enough to be home for three days, your doctor will write YOU out of work to care for your child. We had to do it when my son had the bird flu and all out backup care were considered "high risk". The doctor actually quarantined my son. So we invoked good old "fem-la" and got a week's Get Out Of Jail Free card.

    And let me just add another domestic enemy- as a working mom, you go in sick all the time and try to hide it and hope your co-workers don't hate you because YOUR sick days? Yeah, really, they're YOUR CHILD'S sick days. Unless you are on the edge of death, you go in and work because you know if you don't, your child will surely become ill just when your sick days run out.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Aw, crap! I think my child might be the germy child. I swear to dog, though, that he was sick maybe once or twice a year before we started day care. Now, though, he's got a runny nose and cough cycling through on a monthly basis.

    I'm holding on to hope that the rumors I've heard are true. That after a year (give or take) his little immune system will have experienced so many bugs that the number of colds will taper off.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I pay an arm and a leg for daycare, $350 a week, yes for one child and no she's not a baby. It's kind of a posh preschool, but it's the closest to my house so that's it.
    I hate the look I get from the daycare workers, whose kids go there for free, when I complain about the cost. They have this attitude like it's no big deal, well it isn't for them because their kids go free!

    Ok, I just realized this has little to do with the topic. I need a drink

    ReplyDelete
  73. Funny because its true!

    As a full time working mama of 3 kids (whuck?! Yes I actually can work, holy crap balls, eh??)I take this S#*t from people on a daily basis...Think you hear it with one or 2 kids, wait 'till you have 3!! I may as well be an alien. They either think I am a heartless, bitch who hates her children (ie. Why did you even bother having babies?") OR they think we're so tight for money, my job is only out of pure desperation...Wow, you actually like to work and contribute to your family's well being? Insane.

    I feel your pain and I am secretly/selfishly happy I am not alone.

    I do get upset however, when people get all worked up about what clearly is a very funny (and sadly very accurate) picture of what life is like when you choose to work outside of the home.

    There are pros and cons to each side and everyone always thinks "The grass would be greener....." But let's be real here ladies, and not be all McJudgy's. Each one of us does what we do because we love our kids - plain and simple.

    Just like it takes a special person to stay home or to become a daycare provider, the same goes for the working mama. Mad props to you ladies, you are an awesome bunch women and should be proud of what you bring to your family!!!

    ReplyDelete
  74. I have a home daycare and didn't really find this offensive. I can see how hard it would it be to be a full time working Mom. It's hard to have a daycare in your home too however I chose this path and you chose yours. Just for the record I have never once told a Mom (or Dad) when their child has reached an important milestone (like walking) because I don't want to take that away from the parents. They usually do it again at home within a day or two and I then I get to hear all about it from Mom and Dad.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Crack me up! I'm a licensed, in-home childcare provider, but also had my oldest child in care the first year of his life. I know both sides, and I wish I was funny enough to write about being a daycare provider, while having your own kids in care (which are always the worst behaved).

    ReplyDelete
  76. OMG.

    My kid has croup RIGHT THIS MINUTE. I thought croup was something that infants got in the 18th century. NO, it still happens.

    I am hard core in love with Julie. She gets me.

    ReplyDelete
  77. How about the guilt for playing the thermometer mambo unintentionally? I picked up my DD early on Monday because she had a pedi appointment for her fluu shot. She felt warm, so I had them check her temp before the shot; 100.3. Brought her home, gave her tylenol. Next morning, she seemed fine and her temp was normal. I sent her to daycare thinking she really was fine. Yup... got the call right before the end of the day. She's stil out because she apparently has an ear infection AND needs a nebulizer for the next week (darn germy kid got to her!) I, however, feel terrible not just for her, but for any kid we got sick because I was an optimist. :-/

    ReplyDelete
  78. In further defense of thermometer mambo, our first daycare took under-the-arm temps of my little perpetual motion machine. So, 100.1, +/- a degree of error, plus teething, measured on a human furnace after playground time? We would have been home for a week with every tooth if I didn't get her low-grade teething fever down. That said, when her eyes were snot-glued shut (thanks germy) we definitely stayed home.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Just came back to revisit some of the comments (I don't know why...I'm into self-torture, I guess.) I am finally inspired to add -

    Day care isn't 100% ideal for us, but is has some wonderful parts to it. My favorite is that my child gets to socialize with other kids, that since he's been in day care, his vocabulary has bloomed (he was a late talker, and we've been working with him constantly on getting him to communicate WITH WORDS since he was 24 months), and he's gotten so much better about sharing. He's learning his letters, his numbers, and his colors. Yes, we were teaching some of these things at home, but it's a delight to also have the support of trained professionals in these lessons.

    I would love to be a SAHM, but for a couple of years, I was the primary breadwinner. I'd rather my family be able to eat and keep a roof over our heads. I am grateful for my day care providers, even as I recognize the troubles that can come with day care. I'd rather laugh about the woes. Thanks to Julie for helping me to do that.

    ReplyDelete
  80. When I first saw the title of this one I was like "OH yay for my mom" She ran her own daycare out of our home and was a SAHM for me. I thought that was what this was about. Then I realized it wasn't.

    As a former day care worker and being raised in a house with a daycare, you are kinda a dick if you bring your kid into daycare sick and fudge with the illness policies. That is being somewhat hypocritical to get mad about the germy kid and then admit you fudge the temperature thing.

    We also would call the moms of the babies just to give them good news. Also there was never one germy kid in my experience, they all were equally germy. Comes with the terrority.

    ReplyDelete
  81. When I worked full time, I hated the people who dosed. Now that I left the corporate world and work in preschool, hate doesn't even begin to cover it. This is simply disrespectful to anyone your child comes in contact with because you have something that is SO important to get done, right that second. Your provider isn't stupid, they know you are doing this and they think you are exceptionally selfish for pulling it, especially if you do it more than once. For future reference, if your kid has a high enough fever to warrant medicine, it probably isn't teething or allergies, they are contagious and you are infecting everyone else. Also, their goopy, stuck shut eyes aren't allergies either. That kid has pink eye, get them drops before you try to send them back.

    I felt like the rest of the article was funny and pretty spot on for all the problems WOHM have to deal with.

    ReplyDelete
  82. LOVED this one! My monsters, aged 2 and 1, are both in an amazing center. That said.... Total agreement! The Guilt knows no end.

    And the thermometer mambo? Is never do it intentionally, but it does happen.

    And I work for a company that doesn't qualify for FMLA and that strictly enforces their NO FAMILY SICK LEAVE policy. Unless I can get a note from MY doctor saying I PERSONALLY was sick, any sick days are considered no call/no show grounds for termination. We have no family or friends in the area that we just relocated to, and my husband just started a job after being laid off and job hunting for 6mo. I drive an hour and a half one way to get to work every day, because unless we're willing to live completely on the government I have to work, and none of my applications in the new city have gotten me hired yet.

    So... Staying home or having a back up plan isn't as easy as people seem to think. When I get the call from daycare, it's going to take at least two hours for me to get there. Why? Because I'm essential personnel, and can't leave til my relief comes. Plus, I've got to go fake puking real quick so I can leave at all without getting fired.

    I adore my boys' teachers, and they've been totally awesome for us. But daycare still means that many hours that someone else is snuggling my sons instead of me, so I'm still reserving the right to gripe about it.

    ReplyDelete
  83. You know what I've noticed? Not one person has said anything about how working dads never get The Call, unless mom is MIA. Somehow, it's perfectly OK for moms to live with the guilt, and the running from work to pick up little Johnny, and the staying home with fevers (even when both parents contribute equally to income). It simply blows my mind that no one says, "Hey, can you call my husband? I'm all the Fark out of sick days this year." I do realize that some men wouldn't even answer that call(probably not all, maybe not even most... I have to give some credit here), and NOT. EVEN. CARE. Why? Because mom will take care of it. I am one of the lucky ones: my husband puts our kids above his job any day of the week (he has some flexibility, thank bog). But even he has his, "Mom just has classes today, she can handle it" moments.

    On a side note, when mom says she will be there ASAP, it doesn't mean she will magically teleport herself to you STAT. It means exactly what it says: As Soon As Possible. (For those of us with comprehension issues, possible means "capable of being achieved," not "to your exact convenience.") If I leave my classes (especially clinical hours) in the middle, for any reason other than communicable disease/projectile vomiting, I will be flunked out of nursing school. I will assume I don't have to explain why that would be bad. So it can take up to an hour or so before I can get someone out there to get my kid, I'm sorry it sucks all around, but there you have it. And thus the circle comes around to why can't people call the other parent once in a while?

    But my kids aren't in daycare anymore, leading me to my practical reason for commenting. For those of you with serious numbers of children (No, I'm not ragging on mothers with 1 or 2), you can consider hiring a nanny. I say this, because we have 5, yes 5, little angels (read, fire-breathing demons). The twins were born when #3 was 3 years old, and paying for 3 in daycare? Soooo not happening. Thus was born the Nanny Hunt. For a slightly ridiculous (as opposed to whucktastic) sum of money, plus room/board, we have a full-time caregiver for our kids, who get to destroy our home instead of someone else's all day long. Just a thought, for those with cost issues.

    End of rant... YES, this is the blog for me! You guys never fail to brighten my day with something funny, horrifying, or horrifyingly funny.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I loved my kids' daycare- and we all do, really, but this is so freaking funny and true...thank you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  85. I'm a home daycare provider. I can tell when a fever is from teething versus actual illness most of the time. I'm pretty mellow about that especially with teethers. Honestly, if one starts running fever from infection, it's only a matter of time until the others start falling like dominoes because they slobber all over each other and the toys and the sippy cups already. No amount of Clorox wipes can combat toddler slobber. Funny stuff. Oh and I don't call parents unless I have to. I text them as much as possible. I hate talking on the phone.

    ReplyDelete
  86. I have done Childcare for 17 years, and believe me, when I say we do not make a fortune. We provide your child with breakfast, 2 snacks, and lunch. Food is not cheap. Plus activity supplies, toys, insurance, not to mention the things they destroy in my home. We have no retirement, vacation, health insurance. We do it because we love children and somehow want to make a difference in their lives! It stinks that both parents have to work these days to make ends meet. But I think if we both work together we can have successful children. But it takes both working together, because I do not want to raise your child!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Interesting site. Everyone needs to vent and a forum for doing so is great. I've been a provider for over 25 years and let me say it has been an adventure. Rules and regulations surrounding day care make for frustrating circumstances all around. Human nature also does this. As working moms...I applaud you. It is extremely hard to balance work, kid's and sanity, especially if you're made to feel like you're not a good mom! Any provider that makes you feel that way is sad in deed. As a provider let me vent a little also.... I have kept your kid's when their fevers were high, why not... they are just going to sleep all day any way.... my house or your's makes no difference. I do expect you to call your physician and come straight to my home for pick up after work, though. I have dressed your children, given them baths, clipped their nails and done their hair. I have purchased extra clothing to have on hand because you've been stressed and to busy to remember, extra clothing is a must. I have kept your children over night during emergencies, on weekends if needed. I love them, hug them, and become a second parent to them. My home is their home...AND THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE PEOPLE!!!! When did we become so forgetful as to what each and everyone of us deserves. Care, compassion, and friendship! For all of us..mom's dad's children and providers! As for the cost of day care... some of us realize you have bills and the cost is high, on the flip side ...you pay a flat rate for cable, phones, heat. You are not home all day to enjoy these services...yet you pay the rate the companies charge! Yet you complain about the rates of the day cares, that provide care for your precious child 40 plus hours a week. Shameful and sad :(

    ReplyDelete
  88. i love it when the daycare moms and dads "forget" to pay you and then dont understand why you are mad and charging them late fees! im sorry you may think we are paid a boat load of money guys but you no idea the money that is going out to run this place. food, activities, all the extra heat and lights and the cleaning, oh lord the cleaning! not to mention the taxes and insurance, just incase someone falls down the stairs because they are carrying their 4 year old down the steps and he/she is jumping around on their hip, just incase we get sued. i got into this job because i love the kids. not to fight for my paycheck,do you have to ask your boss to pay you every week?, or to clean up puke or poop because you swore he/she was over it before they came back to daycare. and then to have a parent angry because i have to take a sick day. why dont you have a back up? i cant be open everyday of the year.

    ReplyDelete
  89. I have been a daycare provider for 12 yrs. Children are wonderful! I love my daycare parents, They are educated and very respectful of what I do! I help them raise their children and what wonderful children we have! intelligent well behaved with good manners, loving and caring! I resent who ever said that daycare were a cesspool of germs! Perhaps her home is but mine is NOT!! I could go on forever but the bottom line is many providers are loving educated people that dedicate their lives caring for other people's children...We are professionals and need to be treated as such!I am sick of whining parents who cannot control their children. Loving but firm! mean what you say...Child rearing is easy an fun! Stop our whining and be in control Danielle

    ReplyDelete
  90. When some one searches for his vital thing, so he/she desires to be available that
    in detail, so that thing is maintained over here.

    my web blog ... hgh energizer

    ReplyDelete
  91. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read while sitting here at my desk at work having an internal panic attack because I miss my 3 month old SO FREAKING MUCH. I hate daycare, I am so thankful for daycare, I am thankful my son loves his daycare teaches, I am truly jealous of his daycare teachers. What an internal battle. In the end. He will have great things in his future because mommy and daddy are saving money so we can all live struggle free every day.

    Dear Author, Thank You. I adore you.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I run a home daycare and it's parents like you that drive me nuts!! Drop your sick kid off and you know they are sick.... We know we are not dumb. Now you just got 6 others sick, your kids cries because they feel sick, then all the kids are out for a week or two. There goes my income for the month. Way to go... Stay real classy....

    ReplyDelete

ShareThis

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

What My 9 yr old is reading:

Stuff that Mini Loves

Popular Posts