Lydia and Kate are on the phone talking about politics...
Lydia: Lately I've been getting a lot of phone calls from people wanting to ask me questions about politics. Isn't that funny?
Kate: I guess so, given that all you read is this blog and all you watch on TV is Phinneas & Ferb. And vampire porn.
Lydia: Ahem. Vampire porn is over until next season. But I know. I'm an idiot. I know nothing. And I got a lot dumber over the summer. The Cap'n always wants to talk about politics with me, but as you know, we're of different persuasions so either I get all mad and start yelling at him or I just get bored and he starts to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher.
Kate: I think it's all very interesting. But I sort of read about the news and always know what's going on. Because it's my job and all.
Lydia: Oh! Maybe you can help me. Because I have questions. For example, who the hell is this Puh-lenty guy? I always want to be all: PUH-LEASE, Puh-lenty. Or Good and Puh-lenty!
Kate: His name is Tim Pawlenty. Like PAW. Not like PUH. He was running for the Republican nomination. But he dropped out after Iowa.
Lydia: The nomination for what?
Kate: President.
Lydia: WHAT? That's crazy. Obama was just elected like last year. Remember? The next election for President isn't until 2012.
Kate: [silence]
Lydia: Oh. Right.
Kate: [more silence]
Lydia: I have really got to start paying attention. What were we talking about? Oh right. Tim PAWlenty. I like it. Can we call him T-Paw?
Kate: Of course. Everyone should.
Lydia: I think it makes him sound nice. Like a cartoon bear. He's not a cartoon bear, is he?
Kate: No. He's the former Governor of Minnesota. OH! But you want to know what the most awesomely interesting thing about T-Paw is?
Lydia: What?
Kate: [prolonged silence]
Lydia: Uhh, Kate?
Kate: Nope. I got nuthin'.
Lydia: Well, that's too bad. Because you know what? I would donate money to the campaign fund of a cartoon bear running for President. Do you know why?
Kate: I have no idea...
Lydia: Because the debate would probably be televised on the Disney Channel and I would therefore stand a small chance in hell of actually watching it.
Kate: You make a good point. I'll email his people.
Lydia: Can we talk about Ron Paul?
Kate: Yes please.
Lydia: I really love that crazy little bugger. Is he the dude that has the hot British wife with the red hair?
Kate: [sigh] That's Dennis Kucinich.
Lydia: Oh. He looks... Is he related to Seacrest?
Kate: No.
Lydia: Are you sure? He looks like the elder tribesman of Seacrest's tree.
Kate: I... I don't....
Lydia: Then I'm pretty sure he's Canadian.
Kate: What the hell are you talking about?
Lydia: You told me BEIBER was Canadian. And the entire cast of Full House. REMEMBER?
Kate: Yes...
Lydia: And I was like EVEN STAMOS? Even him?! And you were all "Please shut up. I wish I'd never mentioned it." But seriously, that's not something you can un-know.
Kate: I understand. And then I sent you that picture of the Olsen twins.
Lydia: [::shudder::]
Kate: And you sent me a text message that said: "Hold me. I'm scared."
Lydia: I am still scared.
Kate: Weren't we talking about politics?
Lydia: Isn't there a woman whose trying to get the Republican nomination, too? Wasn't there some big to-do about a magazine cover?
Kate: Yes. Her name is Michele Bachmann. And some people said that the photograph was chosen to make her look extra crazy, while other people contend that she is extra crazy.
Lydia: I saw that. She looked spittin' cherry pits crazy to me. I didn't understand until the Cap'n told me she has 24 kids. I was like "OH NOW I GET IT." I'd have crazy eyes, too. In fact if I had 24 kids, I'd be drunk always.
Kate: There's also Mitt Romney and Rick Perry.
Lydia: There's someone named MITT? Is it short for Mitten? I think that's a very reasonable question. Because Mitten is not a very Presidential name.
Kate: Are you serious?
Lydia: Of course I'm serious. And whose this Rick James guy?
Kate: I need to hang up now.
Lydia: Why?! I feel so much smarter. Except that I really don't think we can elect a superfreak.
Kate: WHAT. ARE. YOU. EVEN. TALKING. ABOUT?
Lydia: Rick James, stupid. Obviously.
Kate: [click]
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011
Pages
Popular Posts
-
When I got the email with this guest post in it, I was very happy because I know a bunch of moms with ADD or ADHD - and you know what? ...
-
Last Friday, roughly 25% of the second grade at my kids' school was sent home with a nasty stomach bug that had kids puking in buckets...
-
Who me? A jackass? YES, yes & yesser. Remember that time I told you the story about how I threw up at Five Guys and how stories of m...
-
At the end of every sports season, there is usually some sort of party where the coach talks about each of the players and sometimes, give...
-
As we wrap up our annual gift card exchange , we thought we'd share some ideas on ways you can keep helping moms and families in need....
-
So last summer, my youngest daughter (age 5) began seeing previews for a new Dora show called Dora and Friends: Into the City! Gone was th...
-
I'm getting my very first pair of glasses and it's making me feel full of sadness and forlornery. I used to have awesome vision. I...
-
A couple of weeks ago, we asked you for your thoughts on ways that kids can help in their communities. Why? Because we want to raise li...
-
So, Kate is sort of slow to catch on to this. Last year, Lydia went on and on about some elf that sat in her house, and that she and the Cap...
-
Whole30 Day 0: Later this week, I'm starting a diet/nutrition/sadness program called Whole30 . Where you eat nothing but strict Pa...