Friday, November 4, 2011

10 Funniest Tweets About Kim Kardashian's Divorce

You know how I feel about Kim Kardashian and her svenjolly, the evil Keebler Ryan Seacrest?  So when I heard that Miss K was filing for divorce after 72 days of marriage, I did what anyone would do.  I went right to Twitter to see what punchlines were trending.  Guess who did the exact same thing?  Stark. Raving. Mad. Mommy.  Because we share a brain (except she got all the smart parts and I got all the parts that want to laugh at Benny Hill and crave the taste of butter).  And we started re-tweeting all the same stuff because we both thought it was hilarious. 

So we decided to run a joint post about it today. And since this is a joint post, SRMM would like me to point out that it's actually spelled "svengali" except that I would like to point out that "svenjolly" is funnier (thank you, Seinfeld).  And there you have another example of our shared brain.

Some of you may be saying - Kardashian divorce? That is so last Tuesday. By now, everyone has heard about the Kim Kardashian - Kris Humphries marital implosion. We're pretty sure even remote, isolated tribes deep in the Amazon rain forest have heard about it. And laughed.


Others of you, who only get to watch The Bubble Guppies in an endless, mind-numbing cycle of doom, have perhaps not yet had enough. Not that we take pleasure from other people's misfortunes, but it's really not that much of a misfortune when you realize that even though their wedding cost $10 million, Kim and Kris seem to have actually made a profit off the whole thing.


As we found out, Twitter turned out to be far and away the best source for commentary on their 72-day marriage. Here are some of our favorite tweets about it. Unfortunately, most of the tweets were copied and stolen so many times, we can't attribute the original source for most of them.
Our favorite hashtag was :


10. Voldemort's nose.


9. That pause after Dora the Explorer asks you a question


7. The time it takes Han Solo to do the Kessel Run. (@Tatooine_)

 
6. Phineas and Ferb's summer vacation.


5. Taylor Swift's speech before Kanye West took the mic.


4. The amount of time it takes for Rebecca Black to choose her seat.


3. Kim Kardashian's singing career.


Then there were a couple of awesome regular tweets:


2. Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after 72 days and a 10 million dollar wedding. Can someone from occupywallstreet please eat her?


Including this one from Salman Rushdie. That's right, Salman Mutherfuncking Rushdie. It's actually three tweets but we'll count it as one:


1. "The marriage of poor kim kardashian was krushed like a kar in a krashian"
    "her kris kried, not fair! why kan't I keep my share?"
    "But kardashian fell klean outa fashian."


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

25 comments:

  1. The Voldermort one made me LOL and then I had to read them all to my husband because he was looking at me like I was crazy :P

    http://bfab11.blogspot.com/

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  2. I think the news of the divorce came out the same day as your First World Problem post. What a coincidence! Crying about a $10M wedding (that they got for free) and reports they made $18M on the whole thing while giving the actual marriage less than a college try (I believe the marriage lasted less time than a college semester) makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Kim's wedding/divorce/boo hooing on every national news station is the ultimate First World Problem!

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  3. The marriage was shorter than the length of time between when you put on your kid's snowsuit and when they say "I have to pee".

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  4. Things that lasted longer than the KK marriage? My kids burping their ABC's

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  5. The Salman Rushdie ones rocked!

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  6. okay, so I had to reply because I LIVE in a remote amazon tribe (yay for satellite internet), and yes, the news even made it over here. Ugh.

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  7. Know what else has lasted longer than Kim K's marriage? My pregnancy...

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  8. I can't stop laughing about #9. Or Momstertales' comment. Beautiful.

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  9. Those are great but I gotta ask... where's #8?? :)

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  10. I like this one from David Burge at Iowahawk.

    Let's all pray Kim Kardashian's divorce won't have an impact on her craft.

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  11. LOL My favorite part? I was actually watching the Bubble Guppies with my son as I read this. ;-)

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  12. I was watching The Bubble Guppies while reading this.

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  13. #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage me typing this tweet.

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  14. I have been married 86.04 Kardashians, and I know this because I went here: http://bryanforbes.github.com/kardashian-calc/

    Try it, it's fun. Plus, going there and calculating the time you have been married will take longer than Kim's marriage.

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  15. "the pause after Dora asks a question" I think I may have peed just a little bit. Lol

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  16. OMG, you guys have fans in a remote Amazon rain forest tribe! How cool is that?

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  17. And now I have the Bubble Guppies theme song in my head. (Bubble-bubble-bubble guppa-guppa-guppies. BUBBLE! bubble! GUPPIES! guppies! BUBBLE GUPPIES!)

    I'll bet that earworm will be cycling in my head for a longer time than their marriage lasted.
    -RosieLB

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  18. I am actually sad that I am one of those people stuck in Bubbletucky and happy to hear more about KKardashian, because for me that counts as news.

    Want to check how many Kardashian's you have been married?

    http://bryanforbes.github.com/kardashian-calc/

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  19. I will have the Phinneas and Ferb theme song in my head for the rest of the afternoon.

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  20. #Liesthatalwayswork Kim K saying "I do. "

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  21. Now I know it's only me:

    How can it be that there were no jokes about her rumpus in her wedding dress?

    PUHLEEZ.

    Oh, just....PUHLEEZ.

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  22. things that last longer: my 9 month old's attention span

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