Monday, November 14, 2011

First World Problems: BRING THEM ON.

A couple of weeks ago, we ran a post talking about first world problems (made epic by a blogger called The Badger). We said if we got enough of them we'd compile our favorites into a list. Then we ran into a problem - the ones you sent us are so awesome, hilarious, honest, and brilliant that we can't pick. Also? They just keep coming.

That made me feel good. Because the whole concept of first world problems really resonates with me. I love to rant and moan about what a tough time I'm having. Oh poor me - my kid has an ear infection (that I was able to get diagnosed and treated within 24 hours) but I haven't slept in a couple of days so here I am crying like a damn Van der Beek.


Then I remember my Beyonce Perspective Program for Not Losing My Schmidt. And I take a moment to appreciate where I'm really at and maybe start thinking about what I can do to help people with real problems. Especially this time of year, when usually I'm caught in the Halloween to Holidays Death Spiral and frankly, being kind of a dick.

But of course, I can't think about any of this like a normal person. I have to be obnoxious about it. Which is why I love the whole concept of First World Problems. And apparently, you do too because we had almost 200 comments left on that post. So we've enlisted the help of some of our friends to choose the funniest and most honest ones. First up, the Badger himself. Second, the one and only Pregnant Chicken. Third, Mommy Shorts, who is so good at contests of this nature that we just blatantly copy everything she does.

So here's the dealio:


  • Submit your first world problem here or here, as a comment.


  • Submit as many as you want.


  • On Friday, we'll post a list of the ones our judges chose.


  • If the judges pick your problem as #1, Kate & I will donate $50 to Toys for Tots in your name.
We know that you are all about a hundred times more clever and funny than we are. We can't wait to see what you come up with.

xo, Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

231 comments:

  1. My husband thinks the keurig refills are too expensive so I have to brew my six cups of morning coffee all at once, and Sometimes I don't get to drink it all before the two hour timer turns the warmer off.

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  2. My FWP of the day: the store was out of Throwback Pepsi so I had to get my caffeine with corn syrup in it.

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  3. Excellent, I alerted my readership at: http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/post-your-first-world-problems-to-rantsfrommommyland-com/

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  4. Our fancy new dining room table won't be here in time for Thanksgiving, so we have to use the *other* dining room table.

    We have too much food for our upstairs fridge/freezer and I'll have to plug in the downstairs one to fit the rest of our food.

    I mentioned to my husband that I would like to go to the gym a few nights a week and he has no problem staying at home with the baby. Now I actually have to go to the gym.

    We have 4 bedrooms. One is the master and one is the baby's room. I can't decide which of the other two should be a craft room and which should be a guest room.

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  5. My husband switched to Google Chrome on my profile so now I have to remember the actual names of the blogs I read everyday and type them instead of clicking on my bookmarks in the browser I prefer because I don't know how to import. Craptastic.

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  6. Earlier versions were submitted to the Badger Hut (BTW, all but one of the following are fictional):

    1. I have to kneel down and extend my arm to reach the milk with the latest use-by date.

    2. Webpages never fit my iPad screen properly. I have to use my two fingers to enlarge or shrink ALL THE TIME to optimize screen real-estate.

    3. Facebook changed its codes again, and my favorite friend-tracker app hadn't yet been updated to deal with the change. Now I didn't know who had unfriended me, and trying to go through my 4000+ people friends list to see if I could detect any such unfriending left me bewildered and exhausted. I gave up after the first 1000.

    4. I forgot the number of my OWN cell phone the other day and had to call a friend and ask him what my own number was. He said he couldn't help because my caller-ID only showed my name. Calling grandma didn't help, because she didn't know how to text my number back to me, while grandpa only knew one email address of mine - one that I no longer used. Eventually I had to pick up a girl at a bar, get her number, and immediately call her in order to take a look at my own number BEFORE she added me to her contact list, upon which my name would be shown INSTEAD OF my number. She perceived my immediately calling her as exhibiting beta traits, but what the hell - she was too fat and too ugly for my taste anyway. In any case, she was quite into me, so I had to reluctantly take a picture of her and used it as her full-screen caller-ID picture in my phone. I was playing Angry Bird earlier today when she called. The phone freezed (since it couldn't multitask AT ALL), with the full-screen caller-ID picture of her face frozen on my 4.5-inch high resolution screen. I had to reboot my phone to get rid of her face.

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  7. The Starbucks drive thru is too small for my Yukon XL to fit through so I have to walk into the store.

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  8. The 18 pound Thanksgiving turkey that I have purchased is too big for my freezer. I have to rearrange everything in my freezer to make this big bird fit. Also, I will have to move racks in my oven so I can cook this turkey.

    My massage/spa center reduced their hours. How can I get a massage from 10-3 Monday to Thursday-- unless I take a day off from work?

    A beautiful new Wine and Spirits store openend at my local Wegmans. The parking lot is too small, so I have to walk across the lot 20 feet so I can pick up my booze.

    Cindy

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  9. Mommy at The Whinery in MichiganNovember 14, 2011 at 7:47 AM

    There isn't enough room at our house to accommodate parking all 4 of our vehicles, so we have to keep one parked at our second home, 200 miles away.

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  10. Having to drive a pre 1990's car that has manual windows and manual locks for 2 weeks while lugging around a 4 year old who can't work the locks and a 1 year old who, well, can't do anything!

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  11. hahaha, this is funny!

    "This tiny cut on my thumb makes texting EXTREMELY painful."

    FWP

    "I'm out of my favorite Coffee Mate creamer, and now my entire day is completely off to the wrong start."

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  12. I just found out that my "speshul" cat is immune to the expensive bitter apple spray that is supposed to keep her from eating non-food items. In one night, she chewed both my husband's and stepson's phone chargers and my iPod ear buds that my stepson left out. Now all three of us have to take turns using my (unchewable) Blackberry charger until I can get to the store, and I have to use aftermarket ear buds at the gym this afternoon.

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  13. I wrote an amazingly funny, witty and satirical comment to the FWP post first time round, and now I can't find it to copy and paste, so I have to decide whether to rewrite the whole thing from memory, or just not participate in this competition.

    Oh, and my CAPS Lock on my new MacBook just doesn't seem to come on properly - I have to hit it more than once and that just slows me down way too much.

    **sigh**

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  14. My Swiss chocolate mud mask made my face break out, and I'm out of the magic Pro-Active stuff that makes zits go away.

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  15. I am overweight because there is just too much food in the house and I feel guilty throwing food away so I eat it.

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  16. I've been breastfeeding for 14 months and I really just need to have a few drinks and deal with my stress but that's probably not going to happen anytime soon because my child still wakes up 2 times a night.

    I spent way too much money on clothes for myself the other day and now I feel super guilty. Again, a drink would help.

    I love Christmas TOO much, I can't stop buying things for people and myself and also for my tree.

    I really love Egg Nog but I feel like it's too early to start buying it, also without spiced rum there isn't much point.

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  17. My husband and I are planning a two week trip to Europe but can't fricken agree on where to go.

    This 4700 square foot house we moved into is too big clean! And finding a good and reliable housekeeper is so damn hard! FML

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  18. My husband used the last of the ice, so now I have to drink hot coffee until the ice maker kicks in.

    The reciept paper was empty at the gas station, and I had to wake up a four year old and a two year old just to walk in for the reciept so I can get reimbursed for my gas.

    Sometimes the automatic doors on my van won't open with the remote, and I have to pull on the door manually.

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  19. Setting up craft show in basement with gorgeous fake cake made of styrofoam and fondant. Ask children and husband to be sure to keep door closed. Husband does not. Beautiful and stupid pure bred dog EATS fake cake. Ends up in doggie ICU where we spend $1300 to monitor the "c.c.u's" of the dog (otherwise known as dog poo) to be sure the styrofoam exits her body. Now I cannot get a new Mac.

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  20. One of the things I miss most about living in South Florida are the drive thru convenience stores... Aka Farm Stores.... Aka La Vacita.

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  21. Mommy at The Whinery in MichiganNovember 14, 2011 at 8:07 AM

    I had to go out late last night to buy my son bottled water because the "clean" water that comes from our tap is not "clean enough" for him.

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  22. When I breastfeed, I leak on the breast my daughter isn't nursing on. (I guess it is jealous...lol) At night after I nurse my nightgown is wet so it always makes me have to go to the bathroom - which means it will be another few minutes before I can go back to bed. During the day I either have to let both hang out or I have to squeeze the one not being used to hold the milk in. Why can't my breasts be patient? Everyone will get their turn.... lol. -Kelly Lewis

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  23. I have to pile 7 loads of laundry in the washing machine and the dryer today...how can only 3 people generate that much dirty laundry in less than a week?!

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  24. I spent 15 minutes this morning trying to come up with a complaint and this is the best I did...

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  25. My son came back from my parents house and declared "You can't pause Grandma and Papa's tv! I had to miss part of my show when I went to the bathroom."

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  26. I'm so annoyed at my husband. After buying our new smart tv and google tv I went from one convenient and universal remote to three; the google tv keyboard, the smart tv remote and the volume control for the surround sound.

    I get so and at my husband when he switches the HDMI cable from the cable box to the xbox so he can play Modern Warfare three. Then when I want to watch the tv I have to switch the cables back.

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  27. My toddler dumped a whole glass of milk into my Louis Vuitton handbag and now I have to get it professionally cleaned.

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  28. Talking about Keurigs...mine has NOT been good to me and I keep getting short cups even though I have descaled the thing. You don't know HOW much I anticipate my coffee in the morning, it gets me out of bed! Just so wrong.

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  29. Church was an hour and 10 minutes instead of just an hour because they were talking about a mission in South America that needs our donations, so then we had to get on the list at the brunch place and WAIT for a table instead of getting to sit right down. And I couldn't get a mimosa until we were at our table.

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  30. Sometimes I forget which bathing suits I have at home and which ones I left at our beach house. Then I get mad when I go looking for one that is at the other house.

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  31. Lauri Ladd - Marketing MommyNovember 14, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    My 3 yr old. evil cupcake has decided to stop drinking milk so now 1 gallon lasts us more than a week...or so I thought when I poured it into my coffee and it curdled...Ewwwww...now I am forced to put ice cream in my coffee until I can get to the store.

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  32. When my free, government-paid respite worker comes over to babysit every week she tidies the house and empties the dishwasher after she bathes the kids and puts them to bed. She doesn't put things in the right places though so I have to go hunting for them later.

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  33. My first world problems of the day:
    I have, at minimum, 400 pony-tail holders in my house. They are all either too small to be wrapped around my hair 3 times but too loose at twice, or they are stretched to the point that they don't hold at all, so I have to take my hair down and put it up multiple times each day.

    Also, my son has too many toys that he leaves scattered around the downstairs of our (4100 sq ft) house, so that when I pick them up and put them on the stairs for him to take back up, our stairs get cluttered.

    We have really hard water at our house and no water softener, so the dishwasher always leaves spots of calcium deposit on my glasses. So then I have to rinse them by hand before I put them in the cupboard. Sheesh.

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  34. My iPhone broke so now I have to check my e-mail on the computer.

    I don't have a command start in my van so I have to walk outside and get in and turn the key. I also lost my keys with the automatic unlock button, so I have to lock and unlock my van manually.

    My PVR is broken so I have to watch my shows in real time with commercials.

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  35. My new house is too big, so I have two problems : I think I need two Christmas trees to achieve the proper atmosphere and there is too much square footage to keep dog hair free, so I have to get a Roomba.

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  36. (This can all be summed up by saying that I live in a rich neighborhood and it's full of snobs. That in and of itself is a FWP.)

    The moms at my kid's preschool won't talk to me because I drive a 2008 Pontiac G6. Obviously, I'm poor and not worth their time.

    When a new neighbor asked me for recommendations on lawn, maid, and laundry services and I said "my husband and I are for hire," I'm pretty sure she thought I was propositioning her, because she now walks her dog on the opposite side of the street.

    My cat decided to get back at me for god knows what reason, he wasn't going to crap in his box. When I finally *realized* this, it's because I walked into a petrified turd forest. Why? My house is big enough that I realized the last time I'd walked through that particular hallway was in August(I only know the month because our suitcases were stored in a room adjacent to said hallway and we vacationed in August).

    I put the donations for my daughter's preschool class and her snack on snack day in bags from the expensive, upscale grocery store when I bring them into her class - even though I buy them at Walmart.

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  37. My GPS loves the word "recalculating" but it annoys the heck out of me. Makes me want to smash the thing on the pavement if it weren't for the fact that I would end up miles away from home and up shit's creek without it.

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  38. I ran into my mommy friend at the store and actually had to talk to her face-to-face instead of the texting/emailing/Facebooking/Tweeting we usually do. Awkward.
    I just finished a mountain of laundry large enough to hide an elephant under...and then my kid threw up on his sheets. Really?
    I spent most of the morning yesterday weeding out the old and broken toys in the playroom, only to go back in this morning and find that my 3 year old devil spawn...I mean, ANGEL had opened the trashbag and dumped it all back into the bins.

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  39. i just had my first baby 6 weeks ago and i finally got a chance to go out into the world alone - to the doc for my 6 week check-up. my reward? my first trip to starbucks since ever. budget is tight, but the vanilla latte craving was too much to ignore. when i got to the car, my cup seemed a little light. wouldn't you know, they skimped me on the latte portion and there was an inch and a half gap between the coffee and the edge of the cup. don't they know how important those extra sips are?

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  40. Our fridge doesn't have an ice maker, and I dislike ice trays, so now when I run out of ice....I have to drive to the store to grab a bag.

    My Dyson vacuum is at the shop being detailed, so I have to walk to my neighbor's house twice a day to borrow her vacuum and it isn't the self-propelled type.

    My husband is watching football on our 52" TV, my oldest son is watching cartoons on his 32" TV, my youngest son is watching cartoons on our Laptop, so I'm stuck playing games on my tiny iPhone.

    I am the owner of an in-home licensed daycare, which allows me to stay home with my own kids, but I have so many dishes to do, I have to run the DISHWASHER two or three times a day.

    My frappe-vino took more than the 3-5 hours it said it would take to freeze, so now I have to wait an entire day to have a chance to drink it.

    My son is 3 and still isn't potty trained, but I don't want to train him, because diapers are so much easier than cleaning poo out of underwear and I don't want to be interrupted every time he needs to go.

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  41. My husband got a promotion with a very generous pay raise at work, so we decided to buy a larger house to accomodate our growing family. But I hate this house we bought! We now live in a planned community, where everyone keeps their yard perfect and tidy, and landscapers work constantly to keep the entire development perfect and beautiful--including, of course, the golf course that's right behind my house. We never use either of the two pools (one is actually a waterpark with a big waterslide), because I don't like to swim with a lot of other people in a public pool (blech), and it's always super-crowded during pool season. And the house is just ridiculously big, way too much space for my family (which is saying something, since we're a family of seven people). We hardly even use the entire upstairs. My walk-in closet is so big, we could use it as a baby nursery. And the bathroom is so damn huge, we could all link arms and tap dance in there, comfortably. Really, it's all just...ridiculous. Why me? Why did I have to lapse into temporary insanity and buy this ridiculously large suburban house?!

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  42. The atm has a $600 limit per day, while I'm waiting for my new debit card in the mail I have to go every day for 5 days straight just to get my shopping money out for Christmas presents..

    I don't want to go into the bakery with my three kids in tow, but they don't have a drive thru, so we settle for Tim Horton's.

    I can't decide which shoes to wear with the four different outfits I have to wear to the four different Christmas parties we're attending =/

    My "smart" phone likes to play tricks on me, and the words I'm typing aren't the words I'm actually typing =/

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  43. Sometimes my husband turns the heat down to 64 degrees and I have to put a sweater on. :p

    Sometimes my kids move the wii remote and I have to get up to change the channel on Netflix.

    My wireless router needs a kick because the internet has gone out (again) so I have to go ALL the way downstairs to fix it.

    I have sooooooo much laundry I have to do: by putting it into a machine that does all the washing then another machine that does all the drying.....that are both located in my own house!

    My dishwasher was not working so I had to wash a few glasses and spoons for the kids breakfast by hand because the repairman wasn't there early enough.

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  44. 1) My lovely pretimed beautiful Cuisineart coffee machine broke.. so I pulled out my late mother in laws 1970's old fashioned percolator. This antique does not have a timer feature, so I actually have to make the coffee and wait for it to complete, instead of the instant coffee fairy waking me up every moring.

    2) My Nook ereader is having lag issues. Instead of using my lovely electronic device, I may have to actually read a book instead of flick pages on a screen.

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  45. My daughter's bus driver likes the horn too much. She's already out the door, you don't need to honk like a teenager on a date.

    My husband has a man cold. Lord have mercy.

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  46. My battery on my Droid dies like 3 times a day (because obviously they haven't come up with good enough battery technology to accommodate my needs) so I have to recharge it constantly and sometimes, when I'm trying to Facebook or talk on the phone, I have to stay in one spot and lean in a really awkward position because my cord isn't long enough

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  47. When my cell dies and I can't text my son,who is downstairs playing, that it's bedtime I actually have to yell or bang on the floor to let him know it's bedtime.

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  48. My 5-week old slept through the night and my boobs leaked all over my sheets, forcing me to do laundry on Wednesday instead of Saturday.

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  49. The kids have a play date this morning, but Chick-fil-a is out of the way and my gas light is on in the van, so I have to leave 20 minutes early to get gas and a biscuit.

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  50. I made queso dip, but I ran out of chips before I was done with the queso, so I have to buy more chips, but then I don't have enough queso. It's a never ending cycle.

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  51. Actual stuff I said over the weekend:

    This glass is too tall to fit under my Keurig brewer, which is gonna make preparing iced coffee THAT much harder.

    The Town of Cary needs to take a blower to the sidewalk- these leaves are getting trapped in the wheels of the stroller and making a rah-ta-ta noise and now my ears hurt because I've got the ipod turned up so loud.

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  52. I have too many shows on my DVR and not enough time to watch them

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  53. My disposable contacts just arrived in the mail and I forget whic eye is which prescription.

    Sometimes, my feet are too warm in my Uggs, but too cold in my socks.

    The beer and wine took up too much room in our fridge, so we bought a beer and wine only fridge. It didn't fit in the kitchen, so now we have to walk all the way downstairs, which means we have to hit pause on the DVR everytime we want a drink.

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  54. Also,

    So my car is keyless with just this little sensor thing on my keyring, right? The other day I left the keyring in my purse and left my purse in the thirdrow seat with the dog, and my ignition wouldn't start because the sensor was too freakin far away. I had to actually get out and climb back there and grab my purse. Ugh.

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  55. I was late for work this morning because I couldn't find the blouse I wanted to wear in the piles of clothes in my walk-in closet - i knew I should have organised them by colour. As a result I missed the free coffee and doughnuts my coworker brought in and now I have to buy my own coffee this morning...

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  56. My $750 yellow labrador retriever apparently comes from an overbred lineage and has bad hips.

    There's no wireless service in the gym at my mother-in-law's condo so I can't listen to Pandora when she offers to watch the kids so I can work out.

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  57. My 1960's house (bought sensibly with a very little mortgage) only has one full bathroom.

    With one full bathroom, two adults and two teenagers come many problems:

    1) not enough room for everyone's specific bath soap, body shampoo, moisturizers, razors, etc.

    2) Even with the double rolls, I am constantly changing toilet paper rolls.

    3) If I am upstairs and have to go to the bathroom, I have to walk downstairs to do the deed.

    4) We all have to get ready at the same time, so we have scheduled shower time.

    Yes, I know some places in the world indoor plumbing is a new technology. One bathroom for four people is just a mess.

    This is such a problem, we got two cabins on a family cruise so we could have two bathrooms.

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  58. My iPhone died over the weekend so I had to shell out $100 on a new one #MerryChristmastoMe

    I looked at my daughter's closet & since it's not packed to the brim, I thought "Hmmm, she needs more clothes..."

    My brother GAVE me his Tivo HD (thanks!) but I'm still thinking about selling it on Ebay b/c I'm too lazy to figure out how to hook it up to my HDTV....

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  59. My gym TV's do not have closed caption on the screen. I have to remember to bring headphones so I can "watch" TV while working out. If I forget, I have to make up my own dialogue.. or I can go to another location 7 miles away so I can actually read the captions while I exercise.

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  60. I just went to Costco and now I can't decide what to make for dinner because there is too much food in my freezer.
    My DVD player got a disc stuck in it so now I have the portable player hooker to the tv, but it doesn't hook to the surround sound.
    I accidentally watched the show in real time so now I have to watch the commercials.
    I was late paying my cable bill so now they won't let me buy PPV. I have to drive to the movie store to rent a movie and remember to take it back.

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  61. We don't have a waffle maker so my husband has to eat pancakes instead.

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  62. My daughter wanted to use marshmallow fluff as "padding" for her egg drop project at school this week. Because over 200 children will be dropping and throwing away perfectly edible eggs that day, I challenged my daughter to my own rule about the project in an effort to teach her about conservation: No using other food to protect the egg since so much is being wasted already. Apparently I have unknowingly turned into a Gwynnie because my ex-husband told me I am "horrible" and "stifiling our daughter's creativity" (HEY, at least I'm not petitioning the school to stop the project altogether), and that marshmallow fluff "isn't really food". But the worst part is that my best solution to the problem was to wrap the egg in a disposable diaper. Because, you know, it doesn't take 450 YEARS FOR A DISPOSABLE DIAPER TO BREAK DOWN IN A LANDFILL! Now I'm stressed out. Waaaaaaa!

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  63. Oh oh ALSO...

    With the Xbox Kinect menu operation, sometimes you have to hold your arm at a 30 degree angle and sometimes you have to hold your arm at a 40 degree angle. It's frustrating.

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  64. I'm sitting here on my laptop because I'm too lazy to turn on my desktop computer. I'm getting Facebook updates on my iPhone, even though I'm logged into Facebook on the laptop. And if these are my biggest complaints of the morning, I'm going to have an awesome flippin' day because whining about the little schmidt is just annoying. :)

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  65. My computer at work is way too slow because I'm streaming music and it's delaying my day WAY too much.

    The battery in my keyless entry is going dead and I had to MANUALLY unlock my car this morning. In 60 degree weather. Suck.

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  66. My husband and I bought a king-sized bed with 12 inch memory foam mattress, when I was pregnant with our second child and my back was killing me every time I woke up.

    But, my bed is so deep that normal sheets don't fit it, and extra-deep pocket ones do not fit it either, and cost well over $80 a set, unless you find a good sale. So, inevitably, I wake up in the morning, half on the sheet, half on the bare mattress, with a triangle of a blanket covering my butt. And my kids' heads in my kidneys while their feet are pummelling my husband's kidneys.

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  67. I have to twist back and forth for a second when I get up in the morning because my back gets sore from sleeping so deeply for so long in my fancy bed.

    My expensive new hair color looks great with browns, but most of my work wardrobe is blacks and grays.

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  68. I'm 6 months postpartum and just got my first period. It's been well over a year since I've had one and I didn't have any tampons in the house so I had to wear a pad. The horror.

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  69. I'm out of my fancy organic fair traded coffee beans and have to use the plain old Starbucks beans today. Woe is me.

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  70. We had a garage sale this weekend and we only made $200. Then I had to put the rest of the stuff in bags and drag it all out to my porch so the american vets can come pick up all the stuff that has collected in my house that we don't need.

    My daughter is asking for the the "kid ipad" for Christmas. I'm going to have to disappoint her and not get it for her because we already have a real ipad.

    On the same note, I have no idea what to get my daughter for christmas because she already has too much stuff!

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  71. We recently completely re-did our bathroom and it looks totally awesome! But now I have to keep it clean because every visitor wants to see it...

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  72. We're trying for baby #3. My ovulation monitor has been saying I'm super-fertile for the past 5 days and my husband and I keep HAVING to have sex.

    The stupid cable box has a "special, power-saving feature" that turns it off after so many inactive hours. Also, the kids lost the remote. So, every morning, I have manually switch the channel from 1 to 118 so the kids can watch Sprout.

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  73. My coffee maker only keeps my coffee hot for 2 hours. Since my kids now like to be up before sunrise, and the morning chaos takes a while to settle...I never find time to pour my second cup until an hour past lukewarm. Walking the cup to the microwave, hitting that little preset "beverage" button, and waiting for my coffee to *gasp* reheat is soooooo hard!

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  74. I have to take my cashmere gloves off to use my iPhone!

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  75. This morning I popped a tire on my $700 Phil and Teds double stroller and now I have to go all the way to the local bike shop to buy a new tube.

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  76. I hear some random beeping once a day from somewhere in my house, probably some toy with a dying battery, drives me crazy

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  77. The other day I could not decide between pumpkin or red velvet cheesecake at the cheesecake factory. So I ordered the pumpkin and the red velvet to go. The red velvet was not as yummy as the pumpkin and I was pissed that I saved that one to eat during my dvr'd housewives marathon. Bad day.

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  78. My husband threw a fit last night because the Chinese restaurant where I wanted food from doesn't have a bar where he can sit and have a beer while he waits for our take-out.

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  79. I had a tiny spider on my head this morning, and now I feel like bugs are crawling all over my head and face. :(

    I also forgot to put deoderant on today and had to use my backup that I keep in my desk (yes this happens frequently) so now I smell different.

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  80. First of all, you are a-holes for making me pee my pants laughing at your amazing FWPs!

    Now, I have 3 FWPs ... Number 1: I have to change my pants from laughing so damn hard at all of your problems.

    nuber 2: the M button on y laptop doesn't work very well, so I always sound like a coplete oron when i a typing!

    number 3: All day long, I have to listen to commercials on stupid free Pandora while I am working from home, for myself, as a very well paid Virtual Assistant. Total bullschmidt.

    Really, I am so over it!

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  81. The bottom of my blender is cracked and rather than go out and buy a new one I put a towel under it so I can make my protein shake in the morning and then swear every time the blender leaks onto the towel that I put there for the express purpose of catching deviant protein shake ingredients.

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  82. The Sirius backseat TV in my minivan doesn't get reception at the drive-thru Starbucks which causes my twins to erupt in angry screams interfering with my ordering resulting in the barista giving me *whole* milk in my skinny caramel macchiato, instead of the soy milk that I ordered.

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  83. It takes soooo long to steady my hand to get the little pointing finger in the right places for the code on the Wii so my kids can watch whatever movie they want on the streaming Netflix.

    This one time, in the MIDDLE of frothing milk with my automatic capuccino machine, it stopped and I was all, wtf? And it flashed a message that said "fill watertank." And I was all, "seriously? I am caffeine challenged and now, I have to take the water tank out and FILL IT???

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  84. I injured my knee doing a half marathon two weeks ago and haven't been able to run for exercise since. So I'm left to go to the gym and wait for an elliptical that's too short for my 5'11", 140 lb stride. If that's not a first world problem, I don't know what is.

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  85. We moved to "Perfect Village" because of the beautiful 100 yr old trees that line every road and live in every yard. What we didn't think of is all those beautiful trees drop all their leaves in the fall and we have to pick them up. A riding mower, leaf blower, and 4 rakes later we still get nasty looks from our lawn nazi neighbors because we only have time to do leaves once a week instead of 3 times a week like they do. We are the embarrassment of the block.

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  86. A month after we purchased our $600 stroller they came out with a newer model so now we have to push our children around in the "older" version.

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  87. Well we moved to Italy for a year... we are staying (rent free) in my SIL's spare apartment. and my kitchen is so small I don't' have room for all my groceries.

    My MacBook Air that I bought the day we left the US has an american plug so I had to get a new charger cord so I wouldn't have to plug it into an adapter.

    I live 1 block for a 2000 acre park that used to be a summer palace... But I have to walk an extra block and a half to get to the gate that opens!

    I have to PLAN my shopping because all the shops close at noon and don't open again until 3. also they are closed every monday after noon so If I don't' get up early, I don't get fresh baked bread on Monday unless I bake it myself!

    ( in case My inlays are reading this PLEASE ask me what a first world problem is and why we would post it here! )

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  88. We were trying to combine our families for Thanksgiving dinner, but since some of my family isn't getting here til Thanksgiving Day, we now have to drive all over creation with our six-month-old and stuff our faces twice. Boo hoo.

    Also, last week the cleaning crew was here so I couldn't take my son to infant swim class. Thankfully, that meant he was well-rested for infant sign language class that evening.

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  89. I lost 35lbs thanks to a "stress" diet. (which I needed to lose anyways) And now all my clothes are too big b/c I can't afford new ones. So instead of feeling good about my body...my oversized clothes make me look anorexic and everyone keeps telling me I'm too skinny now...FML

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  90. I want a slushie but if I go to get one I have to buy my kids one to. FWP

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  91. The DVD player broke so I had to go out to Goodwill and buy a bunch of VHS's for my 4 year old daughter. At 25 cents a piece.

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  92. This sounds like the "White Whine" website...

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  93. Badger fan here, I'm enjoying this blog! Some recent FWPs that are driving me crazy:

    I have to unlock my unlocked car with the remote key after my husband has driven it, otherwise I'm stuck with his Sirius radio presets.

    My sushi takeout was missing the wasabi when I got home. I couldn't decide whether to eat it anyway or throw it away.

    My husband bought a case of white wine with corks. I like screw tops best.

    People that I don't know are parking in front of my house.

    The earliest Genius Bar appointment today is at 3:30. I hate going to the mall after school gets out.

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  94. It's almost impossible to cut my "fois gras doughnut", and juggle my wine, while all dressed up and standing in heels at the charity event to raise money for a problem my kids don't have.

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  95. My son is playing the iPad, so now I have can't use the e-reader and I have to hold an actual book.

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  96. I usually put up seven Christmas trees but we had a baby this year and they require so much stuff I had to cut back to five from lack of room.

    I can't find shoes to fit my 7 mo old because his feet are too fat, even though he can't walk and doesn't need shoes they are cute and I want him to have some.

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  97. The last update to my sons ipod messed up a game I like to play while he's at school!

    The anti-lock brakes on my minivan didn't stop me from sliding into a curb on the first icy day of the season.

    Sometimes the BBM feature of my blackberry freezes and I have to take the battery out of my phone and then I end up at the blackberry search page when I try to go to the internet while on my phone, whereever I may be!

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  98. Today's high is 81* and I already packed the kids summer clothes.

    We just moved, and if the back door is open it blocks the satellite receiver and I can't FF commercials. But I I shut the door, I can't enjoy the cross-breeze.

    Everyone raves about my 9mo daughters LONG hair (it's a full bob, no joke) but I'm the one having to spray leave-in conditioner and wrestle hair-ties and clips into a wiggly BABY'S hair so I don't find it all that cute.

    The city we just moved to is DRY. I am shocked and more than slightly annoyed that I have to drive 25min for my wine.

    The "cold" hose on our washer leaks, so I have to rinse everything in "warm."

    My 20mo old son is desperately showing signs of wanting to potty-train (even waking at night to request diaper changes) but I am ignoring him because of the previously mentioned wine shortage.

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  99. There is some sort of signal interruption between my remote and fios box. This morning I wasn't able to switch back and forth between Mickey mouse clubhouse and the today show. I totally missed the Duggar follow up AND Sandra Lee's holiday dessert recipe (that you know included vodka). FML.

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  100. We can finally buy our first new car, but I have to wait until Christmas is over so we don't have registration renewal due every December when money is tight. Also, I can have leather seats or all wheel drive but not both. How do you choose??

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  101. With the double bed in my 4-year-old's room, there's almost not enough space to set up her moonbounce.

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  102. My computer screen is too big and I am too tired to move my arm as much as I have to to make the mouse go across the screen.

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  103. My Trader Joe's stopped carrying my favorite "Moondust" cheese. Apparently it was only a "Spotlight" cheese and only around for the month. I wish someone would've told me that.

    I keep forgetting to buy Jet Dry and my dishes keep coming out spotty.

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  104. I'd like to add that my remote lock/unlock/trunk opener thing on my car fell off my key ring and is now buried at the bottom of my Coach purse. So now I have to open my driver's side door every. freaking. time to unlock the car. FML #FWP

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  105. That I'm a hairdresser, have been for almost 10 years, I have a 6 year old girl, had long hair all my life, yet cannot do a French plait.

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  106. Raising money for all my kids' educational activities is SO HARD. This week alone, I have to go to a Girl Scout Cookie meeting so my daughter's Daisy Troop can sell cookies and I have to go to a FUNdraising meeting for my son's cooperative preschool to provide scholarships to underprivileged children.

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  107. I forgot to turn on my DVR before leaving for a weekend trip out of town, so it didn't record all of the shows I wanted to watch. Now I have to find them online and stream them.

    My boyfriend and I are talking about moving in together but we both own our houses, so now we have to decide which house to live in and which one to rent out for extra income.

    I don't have a garage to park in during the winter so now I have to use the remote start to warm up my car before I get in it.

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  108. The Keurig has a special doodad that I can fill with my favorite ground coffee, but it takes me 30 seconds to fill it and make sure it's packed properly, and then when it finally brews after 10 seconds, it's too hot to drink. :(

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  109. The heater clicked too loudly when it came on and I had to read Goodnight Moon two more freakin’ times before my toddler would go back to sleep. --Amber Diaz

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  110. We are in that no DVD from Netflix gap in mailing, Psych is only available 30 days after broadcast on Hulu , and I've streamed all the BBC series available on Amazon. Nothing to watch on any of my 3 TVs.

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  111. We lost power and cable for 10 days during the recent snowstorm. I missed 10 days of TV shows that my DVR did not record. And not all of them are OnDemand.

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  112. On Demand has disabled the FF button on new episodes so now I have to watch the Countdown to the Countdown to 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family commercial 27 times a day. (I'm pretty sure that qualifies as a countdown to a countdown to a countdown.)

    ABC is also making me celebrate 2 Holidays at once so now I have to eat the candy corn AND start the candy canes and now I'll get fat. er.

    My target only carries regular sized cinnimon buns with Cinnibun filling, instead of Jumbo cinnamon buns with Cinnabun filling. bah. And 5 come in a pack so my husband and I have to share the last one. bah bah.

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  113. I spent Sunday morning in the ER.

    FIFTEEN HOURS EARLIER:
    "I think I'll open a good bottle of wine, and use one of the good glasses."

    Two glasses later, I put said Good Glass on the counter next to 1/2 empty :( wine bottle, intending to wash the Good Glass in the morning.

    In the morning, I began to rinse out the Good Glass, very carefully, as I love these glasses so much. It slipped out of my hand and fell into the sink in a fabulously "Tinker Bell On A Drunken Rampage" shower of crystal, residue of good Cabernet, and blood (because you TRY TO CATCH THE GOOD GLASS, RIGHT?).

    Alas. I'm down to 3 Vera Wang oversized (seriously, they'll hold a whole bottle, much like the Starbucks Treinta...) crystal red wine glasses, and I have a Wine Injury on my ring finger, which means I can't get my ring off to put my moisturizer on so I have either lizard hands or lotiony diamonds. Alas, the universe tasks me so.

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  114. My Keurig is so loud that every time I make a cup of coffee, it wakes my two year old.

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  115. I cannot figure out how to deposit my Marriot Timeshare to Interval International so that I can take my week-long beach vacation. And I probably won't get the resort I wanted. Dammit.

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  116. These are REAL first world problem FB statuses from a "friend" who is a stay at home wife. Yep, wife. No kids to take care of. Kind of ties back to the RFML Facebook Updates that Make us Lose Our Schmidt.

    'Why am I up at 7:15? Because I've got 80 pages left and it's book club night!"

    "Friday Night Lights season 5 was released on instant Netflix today. There's no chance of me finishing my book club book by Weds now..."

    "So I'm currently addicted to the Redbox. I'm
    on movie 3 + 4 in 2 days. Still have only spent $5.08 as opposed to my Netflix bill of $7.99 but I need to slow it down."

    "Never thought I'd check in here. Post whiskey party errand for my man — at McDonald's."

    "Cleaning for the cleaning lady."

    "This week has been so busy that I haven't seen Glee, Revenge or Greys yet."

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  117. The Cellular phone store had to order my new iPhone 4s and it will take 4 to 6 weeks! Now I have to continue to use my old iphone that takes forever to load my apps or type anything in for another 4 or so weeks!

    Jrseygirl in VA

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  118. I may have to buy extra car seats because we don't have one for each car.

    I have to read an actual paper copy of my book or switch to a different device because my nook device is not changing to the next page.

    My son got strep throat while at Disneyland so we couldn't go early because we had to stop at the convienent urgent care first and it took a half hour.

    I had to go outside in my pajamas because the baby used my keys to set of the panic alarm.

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  119. The Starbucks 3 blocks from my house doesn't have a drive-thru so I actually have to get out of the car and go inside to get my coffee.

    I switched banks because my old one was too far from my house (1 mile) and didn't have a drive-thru. My new one is 3 blocks and has a drive thru!

    It takes 3 remotes to run our TV/Netflix streaming/DVD/DVR and its really annoying having to hunt them all down.

    The Santa photo lady at the mall took more than one cute pic of my daughter with Santa and I just couldn't decide which one I liked better so I had to buy two photo sheets for the rip-off price of $40.

    Sometimes my Kindle doesn't pick up the wi-fi signal even though my phone, iPod, and iPad right next to it pick it up fine.

    The barista at Starbucks the other day didn't fill my drink to the top of my free beverage.

    I've had a friend on fb for the past couple years whose son is now in my daughter's preschool class. We really only know each other through fb so seeing her face to face is just awkward. We both just pretend like we don't know each other and then go home and read personal details about each others lives.

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  120. We were *forced* to add another car to our household and therefore another car payment. Because of this, eventhough I really love the holiday creamers that Coffee Mate has this time of year but I don't buy them because they are NEVER 2 for $5 like the French Vanilla one is...boo hoo...

    I'm actually going to roast our Halloween pumpkins because I don't have time to donate them to the animal shelter...

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  121. Doesnt find it funny that I had to put gas in my car at home because my hubby has our one and only card (ok, yes thankfully we actually had gas at home to be used. It was left over gas that ran the generator that gave us some power, but no running water during that freak Oct. storm) only to find that the car decided for the 3rd time it wasnt going to start anyway. And now he tells me you cant drive it because if the altenator is bad the car could just shut down like a bait car while you're driving it. He's so sweet; he doesnt want us to get stuck or have to be towed.(But he can check it with a meter thingy once he gets home-whoohoo) And I am in awe that its my fault I told hubby not to worry about the battery problem last week. Really, did you tell me I wouldnt be able to drive the car if it happened again-NO you didnt! lol You told me to make sure I backed the car in from now on(which by the way i did not do-dang, Im gonna hear about that) and here take the cables when I said no Im not worried about it starting. If it doesnt, thats alright Im okay asking for help. And I dont go that many places anyway. Oh well my daughter in kindergarden really didnt need her library book we've forgotten for two weeks and the Kohls bill didnt need to get paid today, whats another day-its late already, and my son doesnt really need speech class today. Oh yippee. Now I can stay home and get some more picking up and reorgan-cleaning done for the 1st Thanksgiving we are having at our house. Its not like every surface of this large (to me anyway) farm house doesnt need to swiffered, windexed or polished. Im sure my 3 year old twins will be glad to help before Daddy gets home from working a ba-jillion hours in the last 10 days(or years)!!

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  122. The white gold on my handmade flute doesn't match my earrings.

    kateprouty@yahoo.com

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  123. Sometimes commenting on a blog is hard because of all the steps. It makes me tired. If I don't comment I feel left out. It's an unsolvable problem I have to live with every day.

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  124. My DVR ran out of space, so my unwatched episodes of Dexter were replaced by 12 episodes of Sid the Science Kid.

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  125. Sometimes the Keurig is just too much for me. I have to go to a drive thru for coffee. And I have to drive past 6 or 7 latte stands because their soy milk isn't to my taste. It's a lot to take sometimes.

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  126. We have just moved ourselves and our 3 children to Maui from Ottawa, Canada. The big house that we have rented is 4 blocks from the beach, but we an idiot for a landlord. The house was super dirty (I have callouses galore from scrubbing), falling apart and now we have discovered mold growing in the basement... Ah, the trials and tribulations of living in paradise...

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  127. And now I have to wait for the coffee to brew and make peanut butter crackersinstead of the DD drive-thru worker handing me my, way to freaking hot to drink, coffee and the kids donut!!

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  128. I have to listen to "Backpack, Backpack!" and "Swiper, no swiping!" instead of Rick Springfield on 80's on 8 in my car because the wireless headphones for the built-in DVD player have dead batteries, and I don't have a spare pack of AAA batteries on me.

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  129. Sometimes when I have to drive for coffee instead of using my Keurig I have to choose betweeen the smaller car that uses less gas or the SUV with heated seats. Also, the SUV is taller and it's just easier for me to have the coffee handed to me at that height. The First World Guilt caused by this situation is hard for me cope with sometimes.

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  130. My Organic CSA came with too many local farm fresh organic apples this week, so now I have to make applesauce.

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  131. The speakers I have for my iPhone are barely loud enough to hear over my Jacuzzi tub's jets.

    I ran out of pomegranate mix, so I had to drink my iced tea plain.

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  132. I had to use a manual toothbrush this morning because I forgot to charge my Sonicare over night.

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  133. I had to wait in the exam room for the doctor for almost twenty minutes, and there wasn't a single magazine to read.

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  134. I have to put up with my teenage daughter's crabnasty attitude at our cabin (in the mountains that smell of fresh pine, next to a crystal clear, babbling creek lined with willows) because there is no cell service and she can't text her friends.

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  135. I bought an expensive DSLR camera with a large memory card to take better photos, but now I've got like a 1000 photos and I'm too lazy to download them.

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  136. My super awesome nanny refused to move across the country with us so now I have to take care of my kids with my husband.

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  137. My 5 year old is WAY better at Angry Birds than I am, and she keeps teasing me about it.

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  138. When I picked up my Harry Potter Lego video game pre-order they only had the Dumbledore's Army t-shirts in large, and I wear an extra-large.

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  139. I may have thrown away my Rolex watchband. A link broke and it was too expensive to fix, so I put a [gasp] fake band on. Now I can't find the original band and I think I tossed it while I was cleaning out a drawer.

    Also, I'm kind of annoyed that my Hermes scarves take up an entire drawer. For realz.

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  140. Picking up our tons of clothes and toys off the floor is really hard. I bought an Extend-And-Grab so I don't have to bend over. Sometimes the kids leave it on the floor after playing with it... you catch where this is going?

    Now I have to buy another one.




    P.S. UpperBottoms First comment was perfection "...THAT much harder".

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  141. I had to wait at the hospital for 45 minutes while my husband got a vasectomy and all they had on the television was the news. And I left my wallet in the car so I couldn't get a coffee. Thank god for our free health care, or I would have lost it having to walk across our small town parking lot to get my wallet to pay.

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  142. Oh man, where to start? LOL
    #1 I love shopping at Costco for the deals, but I have limited pantry space. It pisses me off when I fill it up w/case lots and end up with extra crap sitting on my kitchen floor until we can eat enough canned goods or use up the paper towels! Plus, I swear it gets resentful and starts thinking up ways to trip me at night (like when making the frantic dash in the dark to rush my kid's vomit-filled sheets to the washer b/c he got sick @4am).
    #2 Which brings me to my second peeve: laundry detergent. Or more accurately, the stupid bottle it comes in which you can never get that last bit out of. And it's not like, a miniscule bit either. It is definitely enough to do a full load of laundry, but there it sits just outside the pour spout yet still inside the bottle, taunting your Randy-hatin' ass. I will literally stand over my washer for 5 minutes shaking that damn thing every time I'm down to the bottom, only to get frustrated and yell "WHY did I just do that to myself AGAIN? It NEVER COMES OUT, EVER!! GAH." To be fair, the manufacturers of detergent bottles seem to be branching out...now you can experience the same wonderful frustration with fragrance oils for your home; and with pharmacy bottles for medications which, of course, you are supposed to finish. How nice of them.. *grits teeth*

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  143. I have to eat the chicken biscuit my coworker buys me like twice a week when I really like sausage biscuits better.

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  144. I had to go to Wal-Mart.

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  145. I actually had to wait FOUR MINUTES for McDonald's to hand me my dinner for my family of 5. Sheesh.

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  146. Hope this hasn't already been done:

    The wired mouse that came with my desktop computer seems to not be working so I have to walk through my house to get my wireless mouse from my laptop, which will make working on my laptop really annoying because I will have to use the touch pad instead.

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  147. There is a Sleepy's delivery truck blocking the street view image of my townhome. Why did they have to deliver my new mattress that day?

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  148. I stayed in a hotel a few weeks ago that had NO cold water. Even the toilet had hot water in it. It was like a butt sauna!!

    I couldn't find riding boots I actually liked that fit my calves.

    My son's 32' flat screen is on the blink.

    My roomba moved it's docking station so it couldn't reach it's docking station & died under my bed so I had to fish it out myself.

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  149. I had to go to the grocery store on a Saturday - with all those people. I hate that, cause it's so much nicer to go during the week when everyone is working.

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  150. I had a hysterectomy so now I have pads that I have no use for.
    Melanie from Maine

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  151. I drove all the way across town to get the oil changed in my BMW, only to discover that it's not time for my BMW to have an oil change, and it will email me when it is. My car is smarter than I am.

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  152. Right... I think this one is unbeatable, because when I first read it I thought "that should be in the dictionary as the definition of a First World Problem".

    A friend of mine, let's call him David (because that's his name) travels regularly (like, several times this year) from Australia to the US, always First Class. On his most recent trip he posted on Facebook from an airport lounge (a First Class lounge that is) that the lounge was too small, overcrowded, had very little electricity strength for charging (whatever that means) and had wireless so slow that it must have been dial up.

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  153. I bought a shiny new red handbag for the winter so that I would have one that matched at least two of my winter coats, but the case on my phone is neon green zebra print. Now it totally clashes when I put it in my bag so I am going to have to buy a winter phone cover too.

    OR

    My husband's brand NEW car has stereo controls on the steering wheel but my three year OLD car does not. So after I drive his car for a while I am always trying to change the radio station on the steering wheel and it doesn't work. I have to reach six inches to my right to actually press the button on the dash. By the way, then I can't find anything that I want to listen to anyway on my three gazillion Sirius stations.

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  154. one more that I just realized.

    My cleaning lady usually comes every other Thursday. Except it's right around my 2 year olds nap time. So I switched her to the opposite week on Tuesday mornings. Problem? She's now coming tomorrow and just cleaned on Thursday. Yeah, that's my problem. FWP.

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  155. This person I’m trying to stalk has their Facebook profile set to ‘Private.’ Rude!!!

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  156. That red light wasn’t long enough to finish my text message!

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  157. The “Dove” imprint washed off of my soap really quickly

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  158. At least when I have to scrub the crayon from the French doors with Windex, I can practically see my reflection in my diamond rings, they are so shiny afterwards.

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  159. I'm out of makeup remover so I guess I'll use the Extra Virgin Olive Oil from the pantry tonight.

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  160. Last Saturday I had to take two showers because my massage appointment was before my run that day

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  161. My second refridgerator died, and now I have to get a new one to keep my pop, beer and wine chilled.

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  162. The up arrow key on my laptop broke. Now my computer looks ghetto.

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  163. My house phone battery died after two hours of talking, so I had to go all the way upstairs to get the other extension just to call my friend back and apologize for us being disconnected.

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  164. My daughter found my childhood VHS tapes in a box in the basement and wanted to watch Cinderella. Not only is she so deprived that she doesn't have that particular Disney classic on Blueray (or even DVD!!) but THEN she had to wait for-freaking-ever for it to rewind in the old VCR. And don't worry, she made sure I knew how horrible of a suffering it was for her to endure. I'm contemplating refusing to buy her a new copy of the Lion King, just to make sure she grows up knowing what hardship really is.

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  165. The other night, I took a shower after running the dishwasher and washing machine and had to turn the hot water all (ALL!!) the way to make sure my shower was sufficiently scaldingly hot like normal.

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  166. Sometimes I have to turn my Blackberry smartphone off and back on again before it'll receive new emails.

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  167. My very expensive purebred dog sheds all over my very expensive house and the very expensive maid only comes once a month.

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  168. I have to park my Highlander all the way over by the bushes in our driveway so that my husband has room for his Tacoma and his motorcycle. So when I get in the car on a rainy day, my Coach purse gets wet leaves all over it. FIRST WORLD!!!!

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  169. My sister lives 30 minutes away and we switch off babysitting every other weekend so that we can have date nights. But she lives in a smaller town than I do - so we either have to drive an extra hour to go to a good restaurant AND have free babysitting, or stay in her town and go somewhere less nice.

    Also, my spelling is so bad that I frequently have to google the word I'm trying to use because spell-check doesn't recognize it.

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  170. - The McDonalds drive-thru that's on my way home always makes me pull into one of the 'wait here' spots when I order chicken nuggets.
    - My SUV always needs gas on the coldest, windiest, wettest day of the week, and sometimes it takes a minute to input my zip and/or pin.
    - The Wifi at the Monkey Joes playplace was broken, so I had to rely on the big-screen TV for my news.
    - To get seafood stock for my favorite seafood dish I have to go to one store, to get the right cheese I have to go to the store across the street.
    - The portable DVD player in our car broke down right before our 6-hour car trip to my in-laws and it took us fifteen minutes to replace it with one of our laptops.
    - Somedays the line at the Starbucks is super long, and I have to make the choice between dropping my daughter off on time to preschool or waiting until afterwards to get my Venti Ralph Macchio on.
    - My wallet always seems to slide to the bottom of the pile-o-junk in my purse while I'm getting a manicure, and I always get those little not-quite-finished crinkles in the polish when I dig to retrieve it.

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  171. I wrote a comment on someone's blog and it never came up so I had to try and figure out what I had said and submit it again. Ugh.

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  172. Oh, I forgot one I learned this weekend.

    It's really hard to do the Party Rock Anthem shuffle wearing Jimmy Choos.

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  173. My son got a bad grade so I had to take his phone away and NOW I can't call him to tell him to bring me a diet soda.

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  174. The Navy is moving our family clear across the country from San Diego to Maryland. On Christmas. Packing all our boxes for us. And it will take a WHOLE week for our stuff to get there.

    Also, we went grocery shopping today and I stopped in front of the crackers thinking I should get some, but didn't. Now that I'm home and the kid is in bed, what is my pregnant food craving of the night? Freakin' salami and crackers.

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  175. The DVD player in the car wasn't working so I actually had to interact with my children during the 2 HOUR nightmare of a commute home this evening that should have only taken 20 minutes!!!!!

    TRUE STORY!!!!

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  176. I pay for a subscription to People magazine, but by the time it's delivered to the house I've already seen all the pictures and read all the articles online - for free.

    It makes total sense to buy umpteen bottles/packages of an item because I had coupons, even if I have to throw some/many/all away because they weren't used before the sell by/best by date.

    If my bleach load isn't full, I pull clean white shirts out of the dresser to make the load " more efficient ". ( please tell me I'm not alone on this one )

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  177. Holy crap this thread blew up fast. I'm going to earn my keep judging all of these!

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  178. Starbucks ran out of cup sleeves the other day. The experience just wasn't the same with the sleeve.

    I can barely walk down the steps the day after running a marathon!

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  179. It was bad enough that we downsized from a 4-bedroom, 3-bathroom house to a *gasp* 3-bedroom, 1-bathroom house, but worse was we had to leave the Diaper Genie behind. Now we have to put diapers in a regular trashcan with a lid. *sob*

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  180. I left my family for three days to go on a quilting retreat. I cut expensive fabric up into tiny pieces to sew back together to make a blanket too good to use as anything other than a wall hanging. On the way out of town I had to cross the center line TWICE to get my four dollar cup of coffee. I felt bad letting my SUV idle, but it was cold outside. Then I needed a tank of gas. My last stop was for a To Go order of sushi. The hosts of the retreat center make a huge breakfast and dinner, and while everyone brings enough snacks and alcoholic beverages to break a banquette table, I wanted something to eat for lunch...just in case.

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  181. It's so hard to choose which sheets to put on the bed this week.

    The $30 lipstick is packaged beautifully, even if the color sucks and it tastes like dirt.

    It took almost an hour for my previous FWP post to finally show up.

    Work is interfering with my Words With Friends. Priorities, people!

    In order to be green, we use tons of water to rinse out food containers for the recycling bin.

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  182. My 3-yo is too short to play games on the iPad at the table so I had to prop it up for her with a laptop we don't use very often.

    We keep losing the Roku remote so we have to use our iPhones or the above-mentioned iPad to control the Roku.

    My kitchen is tiny so I have to keep the extra Senseo coffee pods in the utility room, and I always run out when I'm halfway through brewing a 2-pod cup and have to climb over all the crap in my utility room to get a new bag of pods.

    Also, I have to wash my daughters' vast mountain of brand new fall clothes before they can wear them. Le sigh.

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  183. They don't take $100 bills at Starbucks. So naturally, I demand to get my coffee free. Total energy drain! Good thing the coffee is free.

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  184. After my dog had her teeth cleaned the vet gave me a mouth wash that he wanted me to spray in her mouth. Um, do I look like a doctor?!? Total Ew.

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  185. I couldn't watch Castle last night and get my Nathan Fillion fix because the Gabby Giffords special was on.

    No matter how hard I try I can't seem to fast forward the commercials on live TV. oh... that's because it's not DVR'd...

    It's cold in the morning and I have to scrap the flippin' ice off my car windows because I'm too lazy to warm it up in the morning

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  186. I have too many pairs of black heels. I can never decide which ones to wear on the four (yes, four) occasions per year that I wear heels.

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  187. Last night I discovered that my husband threw away an envelope with $50 in it the day before garbage day. Now I don't have enough to buy one of the hottest electronic devices, an iPad2.

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  188. I couldn't watch Law and Order on Netflix last night because there are only 181 episodes available instantly and I've seen them all at least twice.

    I left my phone charger at work so I have to use my husband's in the bedroom so I can't play solitaire while I watch TV.

    I had to post this comment from my phone because my work computer has my blog profile blocked.

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  189. The new placemats my mother gave me for my birthday don't match either of my sets of dishes. And I just don't have time today before Pilates to get to the mall to look for new dishes.

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  190. I forgot to buy juice and milk at the store. Now all we have to drink is tap water. The kids are gonna be p.i.s.s.e.d.

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  191. The cleaning people are here on my work at home day, so I had to go to Panera to get work done. But the internet is so slow that I can't really get any real work accomplished. So instead, I'm catching up on celebrity gossip and Facebooking.

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  192. "We got so many comments on our contest that we are unable to choose the best one"
    - Kate and Lydia's First World Problem :D

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  193. The satellite TV in our mini van gets an interrupted signal when driving in a rain storm and it upsets the children when they are trying to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

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  194. The house is full of toys and fancy gadgets and my pantry and refrigerator are full of food but we are still always bored and hungry.

    ~Sandra E.

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  195. My kids just got the 72 hour, um, let's call it a "gastric bug", and now I can't leave the house for three days.

    ~Cat

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  196. I have to get both of the kids (1&4yo) out of the van to go into the post office. WHEN are they going to get with the program and get a drive thru?!?

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  197. My new divorce requires me to return to my former profession, as obtained and secured by my graduate degree from a fancy university. I'm worried about how those professionals will view my return after years as a cushy stay at home Wife and Mom, and I'm secretly terrified what the current Posh Mommies will think of me now "having" to return to work. I don't fit in with either well educated, well heeled cohort.

    - TW

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  198. I have purchased 2...yes 2 Keurigs and each has stopped working!!! I took care of them and cleaned them but still no luck. I hate grinding, dumping, filling, and cleaning the coffee maker to wait for my coffee.

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  199. Ruthie Queen Of All Things ProcrastinationNovember 15, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    The sun was too bright today and I got blinded by my Tiffany diamond necklace when it reflected off my Jaguar’s hood ornament.

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  200. I spilled my grande nonfat pumpkin spice latte WITH WHIP all over my new white shirt. Damn you Starbucks! Damn you GAP!!!!!

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