Tuesday, November 1, 2011

First World Problems - Mommy Edition

Hello! After a month off to move into a new house, I’m back!  I missed you guys so much! ((embarrassingly long hug.)) Remember how just  before I left I was losing my damn mind because we were moving and the world is a chaotic and sometimes cruel place and I lack the ability to deal with anything like a mature adult.  But I was trying to keep focused on the words of The Bloggess in her now infamous Beyonce the Metal Chicken post.

Perspective. Now you have it.”

We do a lot ranting around here.  It’s good for our mental health.  It staves off the need for Kate and I to go get a check-up-from-the-neck-up, something we could probably both really benefit from.  At least that’s what our husbands tell us.  But sometimes perspective is good, too.

I really enjoy complaining.  And since I was born in New Jersey, I also consider it my birthright.  I am sort of a bitcher and a whiner/moaner by nature.  A really charming commenter named Anonymous enjoys reminding me of that.  I’ve tried to change and I can’t.  It’s how I deal with everything – I talk about it.  Or blog about it. I have to share what’s going on with me in order to make sense of it.  And if it turns out that someone else gets what I’m going through? It never fails to make me feel better. 

I thinking venting is valuable.  Especially because as a mom, I feel sort of guilty complaining about anything.  I love my kids. I love being their mother.  It’s just that sometimes this job is so hard that I feel like I have had my soul sucked out by a dementor.   I’m well aware of how fortunate and unworthy I am, but I challenge anyone to fill up their Oprah-esque gratitude journals with platitudes of how precious their family is after a week of stomach flu. 

Sometimes, we just need to rant.  And we start to feel better.  And right then – that’s when we need the perspective to kick in.  I know that my idea of what provides perspective is very different than that of normal people.  It may in fact be as widely divergent from normal as say, my definition of what is appropriate. Or what's gross.
  
This meme has been making its rounds on Facebook lately and I can’t stop thinking about it. Because I love it so much that I may want to marry it.


It's the crying Dawson that puts it over the top, right?  I took it from a blog called The Badger Hut, who also runs a twitter feed called @FiWoProblems . The badger is awesome and said we could use his stuff.  I thought, in an effort to promote my new Beyonce Perspective Program for Not Losing My Schmidt, we could add a whole bunch mommy edition problems.   

Here are some of my contributions:
  • Trying to get the filtered water into my dog’s bowl is really hard without spilling it everywhere.
  • The battery on my cellphone died so I couldn't text anyone and I actually had to call people and talk to them. 
  • I waited at the pediatrician’s office for 20 minutes and I had nothing to do because the baby played with my iPad the whole time.
  • They were out of regular organic milk at Target so I had to buy organic soy milk. Whuck is wrong with you, Target?
  • The teenager who mows my lawn for me smells like Axe body spray.  Gross.
What are your First World Problems? Leave them here.  Kate and I know that you are all way funnier and more creative than we are, so we are expecting awesomeness.  If we get enough comments, we’ll compile the funniest ones into a list and post them for you.  You can also leave them on the First World Problems twitterfeed (use the #mommyedition hashtag).

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

269 comments:

  1. My kids ate all the chocolate from their Halloween candy, before they went to bed and I could rummage through it.

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  2. Can I leave a First World Problem for my kids?

    I accidentally watched this cartoon on real time & now I can't fast forward through the commercials.

    Oops... that works for me, too!!

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  3. People keep making fun of me for not having an iPhone, but touch screens arent for the uncoordinated so I'm stuck with this old blackberry. Which also limits the number of cute kid pics I get to save to my phone

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  4. The specialized trash can made to contain the smell of baby waste in my house smells like Scheiße when I open it to put another diaper in there.

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  5. I ran out of nacho cheese and wasn't going to town for another 2 days.

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  6. We moved our couch so now we have to lean forward and extend our arm completely in order for the sensor bar to pick up our Wii remote signal.

    Our fridge gets so cold in the back that if we store our milk back there too long it freezes into a solid brick.

    I forget what side the gas cap is on almost every time I go to the gas station.

    Sometimes the internet slows down and interrupts our online movie streaming.

    Netflix took my kid's favorite movie off of streaming so now I actually have to buy it.

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  7. I live in China, I don't have first world problems, I have foreigner in a racist culture problems.

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  8. Okay, I could only think of two, and they're both food related:

    - I ran out of ice cream, and now I have nothing to eat for dessert (or bedtime snack).

    - I have too much leftover rice and I don't know how to use it up.

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  9. Why thank you for the linkage - I like the way it turned out.

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  10. My mom has a fridge magnet that says "Women do not fart, therefore they must bitch or they will blow up" :) Bitch all you want

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  11. My GMC Yukon XL is so big it is hard to fit through the Starbucks drive thru.

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  12. My 4 month old sleeps through the night but wakes up for the day at 5 a.m. How terrible! (I know, I'm super lucky he sleeps through the night!)
    LOVE this!

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  13. We bought a new car this year so I feel obligated to buy the International Delight French Vanilla creamer on sale instead of my preferred Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha that's not on sale - sigh...

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  14. There are no cart returns in the parking lot so I actually had to walk my cart all the way back to the store.

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  15. Love it! Here are mine:

    My daughter's fancy, waterproof snow pants don't perfectly match her down, waterproof snow parka.

    I burned the inside of my mouth by drinking my Starbucks latte too fast.

    My kids have so many toys and books they don't all fit neatly on the shelves in their playroom. Fuck.

    I can't decide which enrichment activity my 3 year-old should do this winter. Ballet? Gymnastics? Swimming? Trombone lessons? This is too much pressure for me.

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  16. I can't carry my coffee, my laptop and my cereal to the couch from the kitchen so I'm going to have to make two trips.

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  17. My holiday bonus is ONLY $500, and I have to Christmas shop for 3 kids with it.

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  18. I somehow lost part 6 to my favorite audio book and now I have to actually pick up a book and read it myself.

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  19. The convenience store I drive to on my way to my Full-Time job that I actually like, is out of the creamer I like the most- so I have to use a different flavor to add to my large steaming portable cup of coffee; Whuck!

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  20. My kids are better at the xBox 360 and Wii than I am, so I always lose.

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  21. The wine fridge was set too low, now my pinot grigio is just too cold for me to really enjoy it.

    I bought the blu ray player, but all we do is watch the lion king. Over. And Over. And Over. I'll tell you what you can do with your hakuna matata.

    It is totally inappropriate for me to wear my new 5" patent leather Steve Maddens to bug's play date this morning. Crap, i'll have to wear the flats.

    I don't have wifi right now to download the Steve Jobs bio to my kindle.

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  22. "We bought a new car this year so I feel obligated to buy the International Delight French Vanilla creamer on sale instead of my preferred Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha that's not on sale - sigh..."

    Shelley, you are my people...we had to buy 2 new cars this year...no Peppermint Mocha for me AND I have to get my take out coffee from Dunkin when I clearly prefer Starbucks...

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  23. The cable and internet went out for an hour, so I actually had to interact with my family for entertainment.

    My son grew again, so I had to go buy him $100 of new clothes with money that was meant for part of my winter wardrobe!

    Stephanie
    Coffee Fueled Family

    The lawn maintenance people couldn't make it this week, and I actually had to ride the lawnmower myself!

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  24. The guy pictured looks like Scott Bakula. Just saying.

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  25. I'm freezing cold--hubby turned the thermostat down to 71 again. It's alllll the way downstairs, so I have to walk down there and turn it up a bit. UGH!

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  26. -The credit card machine wasn't working at the gas station so I had to walk inside and pay

    -my keurig is taking too long to make my much needed cup of coffee

    My kids woke up from nap but I still have 15 minutes left of Greys Anatomy to watch on hulu

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  27. This one is happening as we speak:

    The baby is standing in front of the cable box, so I can't change the channel with the remote and am stuck watching Dora.

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  28. I want to get my daughter all of the Disney classics on blue-ray. However two of them have already gone back into the vault! So now they cost twice as much as they did when they were released last year. This means I will have to wait until she is 10 before they are re-release and I can afford to purchase them.

    This will be my first winter with a child in a place that gets really cold and my husband and I cannot afford to purchase and automatic car starter, so I won't have to go out to the car to warm it up before we actually leave the house with the baby. So I will have to go out and start the car then lock the door with a separate key. Which is also a problem because I can not use my clicker to unlock/lock like usual.

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  29. I have to get a screening mammogram before I go to Zumba

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  30. My kid was up last night and I had to get medicine from the bathroom and sleep in his comfy bed with him, instead of mine.

    The water is too cold when I turn it on because of the cold weather.

    I have to cancel a playdate and take a nap today, since DS was sick last night

    I have to not buy steak this month, eat more chicken and clip coupons. I have to save for over the top Christmas gifts!

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  31. THIS IS SPECTACULAR!! I'm always telling my kids that what they deem as "the end of the world" is actually "Just a Little Suburban Girl Problem, Honey". This morning's example? "Mommy, my thermos full of hot soup makes my new book bag too heavy to hold with one arm so the other strap won't block my ribbons on my new shirt. - 5yoDD" See??

    Loving all of the shared FWPs above!

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  32. My teenage daughter's hooker Halloween costume didn't come with the required stockings to attach to the garters. I had to drive to THREE different stores before I found thigh high fishnets. So much work to make her look fully dressed.

    They don't serve wine at Target so I had to go home.

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  33. My Starbucks doesn't have a drive thru so I actually have to get out of the car and walk inside to get my coffee.

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  34. My husband's closet is so small that I had to make him get rid of some shirts so they all fit. Now he complains that he doesn't have enough shirts! ~sigh~

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  35. They don't have Dunkin Donuts or Winchells here in Ala-freaking-bama, my only choice is Krispy Kreme. :(

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  36. My husband took the car that has sattelit radio, and now I'm stuck with REGULAR radio!

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  37. The one from Lauren up there almost made me lose my schmidt! LOL!!

    Here's another one:

    There are some channels on Dish that don't provide HD. How am I supposed to watch tv if there's no HD channel for crap's sake?!

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  38. I had to get a flu shot yesterday & I can't lift my arm without it hurting ....how will I style my hair??

    My husband & I are going on vacation at the end of the week & my husband can't find a bathing suit to buy because it's November & we live in Canada.

    I'm pissed because our Supplemental health insurance co sends our reimbursements as cheques, not direct deposit - so I have to drive aaaaalll the way to the bank to deposit them. Waaaaaah.

    Seriously, I think I had better donate some $$ to charity because I def feel spoiled now.

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  39. My PVR is broken so I have to watch my shows in real-time, with the commercials.

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  40. Only the kids know how to change the TV back from the Wii to regular cable

    My new microwave doesn't have a popcorn button

    My down comforter is too warm to use 9 months out of the year

    The invisible dog fence keeps the dogs in the yard, so I actually have to pick up the dog poop

    I can't decide where in Florida to go for Vacation this winter

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  41. Nickelodeon changed their daytime lineup so we don't know when Dora is supposed to come on.

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  42. The Weatherbug on my phone wouldn't load so I had to open the door to find out which coat my daughter needed.

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  43. My daughter dunked our remote in my coffee and we couldn't use the Vizio player, which streams Netflix, for a week (Until our replacement remote came in)... which means we were at the mercy of *gulp* cable. My son kept begging to watch Backyardigans and it's only on once a day... I couldn't explain to him that I couldn't just make it appear. Lots of fights.

    I just opened the fridge (it's 9am) and stared longingly at my favorite bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon... (which of course started the countdown to 5pm.)when, all of a sudden, my eye caught a glimpse of my favorite label in the way back of the fridge... I already HAD a bottle of Sauvignon open and it got pushed to the back of the fridge over a week ago. This bums me out for two reasons... one, this means I just wasted half a bottle of this nectar from the gods... and two, it also means I clearly am not drinking enough.

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  44. I bought a new car a couple of months ago and I HATE it.

    We just moved into a new house and the cable/internet won't be hooked up until NEXT week!

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  45. Stupid ordinances require that liquor only be sold in *actual* liquor stores, so I have to drive over an hour, to a different county, to get my T-boxes.

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  46. Starbucks added too much pumpkin spice in my $5 cup of coffee and now my day is off to a bad start!

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  47. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for this!! I'm a SAHM and I feel this way all the time! I love my kids but there are times I feel like my brain is being sucked out by Dora and Mickey Mouse! Not to mention the constant bickering and fighting. I too am a ranter and I need to vent but when I do I am sure to be quickly reminded that I'm lucky to be able to stay home and be with my kids while so many moms have no choice but to work outside the home. Like I don't feel guilty enough about feeling like I could run out the door screaming and never come back. I get it. I'm lucky and I love being home with my kids but I think people underestimate how hard this job really is. It's nice to know I'm not alone. :-)

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  48. My new house is too big, and I think I am going to have to buy a second Christmas tree to achieve the right atmosphere.

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  49. My daughter finally figured out how to pop her DVD out of the DVD player and mess with all the buttons as well, so I had to cover them with blue painters tape since there are way too many wires coming out of that thing for me to figure out how to move it up higher. The blue totally clashes with my living room color scheme and makes people ask questions at which point I must admit that I use the tv as a babysitter.

    This one is from my mom
    "I've been on the same cruise so many times that I have done everything there is to do and I am bored of it." she told me that a couple weeks ago and I said " you know what they call that mom? A first world problem!"

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  50. I had too many friends over for dinner & drinks last night and now I can't concentrate at work.

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  51. Our second fridge died and now we don't have enough room for all our food and beverages in the oversized one in the kitchen.

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  52. I can't hold my starbucks and push my $500 stroller at the same time and it doesn't have a cup holder!

    I can't decide whether to buy the new Elmo video game for the X-Box 360, The Playstation 3 or the Wii as we have all three...urgh!!

    I ran out of organic cat food so I have to feed the cat from the $115 dollar bag of diabetic dog food we have for our dog who also gets two insulin shots daily to the tune of $60 a month...

    The new van we bought last summer doesn't have an automatic car starter...so I have to go out and start it in the cold and remove the keyfob so I can lock it while I wait in my house, where the hubs only allows the heat turned up to 72!!

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  53. I'm 8 months pregnant, with a deployed husband. My 2 kids told me they were on strike from feeding and watering the dogs. I chimed in that I was on strike from feeding them then.
    Lesson learned

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  54. My children are all out of five-point car seats now, and my minivan is past the 120K mark. I want to upgrade to a snazzy SUV with shiny rims and a towing package for the camper I imagine us buying, but I have environmental guilt.

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  55. I have beef, chicken, pork, and fish in the freezer, and it's so hard to decide what to cook for dinner. Besides, all that meat is at the bottom of my chest freezer and there's a year's supply of garden grown green beans and sweet corn at the top, plus three large loaves of bread, and it's just such a pain to slide those baskets over to get to the meat.

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  56. Nothing in the house sounds good to eat and I'm hungry. Instead of sucking it up and just eating, I'm just going to be whiney and starve until dinner.

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  57. ok..last night a mom opened the door drinking wine, yay, across the street from my old house, informed her of it, we find out our daughters are same age, 2,and 4 she looks like the red head from clueless, i say did you go to such an such high school, YES...ooh ok remember so and so down the street...yeah, me too, i was class of 2003, ooh she said...i'm a tad older than you...no wine given to me, door closed. stupid lady and her shiraz and one piece candy rule, i'm a drinking mom in minnie mouse ears! she made me out to be a teen mom, Hizzo!

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  58. We have too many toys so we're going to have to clean out before we go to Disney World

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  59. My Husband has football pratice so I have to deal with all 3 kids and the witching hour ALL ALONE! *stomps foot*

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  60. I got a starbucks card for my Birthday and it didn't work. I didn't have the cash to cover it so I had to do the walk of shame out of the store. After they already started my drinks!

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  61. I don't want to spend the extra $.08 on organic, DHA fortified baby food, so my baby girl is stuck eating regularly nutritious baby food 3 times a day.

    I get irritable when my iPhone takes longer than 3 seconds to load the RFML page.

    We have so much clothing that it takes 5 or 6 loads of laundry to clean it all... ugh!

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  62. My (and about 500,000 other people's) first world problem:

    Our power was out from Saturday until Monday night due to the random 12" of snow we got in MA. We had to throw all the food in the fridge/freezer away and Stop and Shop was on a generator, so I could only buy non-perishable items.

    After dropping a ton of money on things like peanut butter, canned beans and Power Bars (I'm 6 months pregnant so I need some kind of nutrition!) and running to the mall to get a car charger so I could still access my Crackberry and thus Facebook, the power was restored by the time I got home.

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  63. The grocery stores insist on having those huge car carts, and my 5yo MUST ride in one if I have him with me.

    I put the Halloween candy in a big bucket on the table, and I grab a piece every time I walk to or from the kitchen.

    I have to decide between taking my kid to the doctor with me to get a shot, or waiting until he goes to school in the afternoon to go alone, but then it cuts into my nap time.

    I need more tea, but that requires going out to the kitchen.

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  64. Haha I always complain that my GPS makes me drive through the ghetto (not too hard to do in NJ). You'd think that they would invent a ghetto detour option.

    My house is never clean because my daughter has too many toys.

    We had to wait 15 minutes for a table when we went out to eat.

    I have to wake up 10 minutes earlier to make sure the car has time to warm up.

    I could go on for days...

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  65. My husband took the iPad to school so I had to poop without playing Words with Friends.

    My Bluetooth wasn't working in my car so I had to wait until I got home to make a phone call.

    Our power went out for a day so I had to find a way to entertain myself without electricity. Outside is scary.

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  66. My car has a one-click auto down and auto up on the driver's side window, but my husband's only has the auto down. So when I take his car through the drive-through at Chik-Fil-A, I have to remember to hold the button the whole time to bring the window back up.

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  67. These are great! I experienced one such moment this morning: I asked for a chocolate croissant at the breakfast takeout but they mixed up the order and gave me a plain croissant instead. Harumpf.

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  68. -the fiber-optic twinkle lights in the skirt of my daughter's tinkerbell costume wouldn't work while we were trick-or-treating.
    -i've been eating a donut every morning after dropping my kids off at school, and now my butt doesn't look good in my fancy $100 yoga pants
    -my cleaning lady is on holidays for 2 weeks, and it it falls on the date when she comes (every 2 weeks) so i have to go FOUR weeks without a cleaning. i might have to vaccuum the house MYSELF.
    -it's really hard to make sure the house is tidy for the cleaning lady, while rushing two kids out the door and heading to work. i also have to remember to go to the bank machine the day before so that i have cash to leave for her. completely inconvenient.
    -we are trying to simplify christmas and i can't narrow down all the gifts i would ideally like to give my kids because some of them don't fit into the "want/need/wear/read" categories we chose. sigh.
    -when i go and buy $200 of groceries, i have to come home and clear out all the rotten and uneaten leftovers from my fridge in order to make room for them. what a chore.
    -i have to get replacement light bulbs for the fixture in the kitchen, but it's not a regular bulb and i actually am going to have to unscrew it and figure out what kind it is before i can get another one.
    -we buy expensive toys for our kids but then they break them or the batteries run out.
    -i want to have sex with my husband but we don't have any energy left after watching tv for two hours and sitting side-by-side on the couch with our matching macbooks.

    ...i could do this all day :)
    -

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  69. My child is at school, so I actually have to get the remote myself/get my purse myself/fill my water cup myself...you get the picture, lol.

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  70. I really wanted McDonald's but their drive thru was to crowded, now I just have to settle for Burger King. - Steph in PA

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  71. -I had to do an extra load of laundry at 10pm just so my daughter's Nike shorts would be clean and ready to wear today. The Reebok ones just wouldn't do.

    -My hair dresser can't get me in for another four weeks. I may have to use store bought color and touch up the roots myself.

    -I ran out of the dog's expensive skin vitamins that keep her from drying out. I'll have to drive three extra miles out of my way later today to the vet to get more.

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  72. I got distracted helping my kids with the tv and left my instant oatmeal in the microwave and it got cold. Then, when I finally got to eat it, it was gross because I ran out of brown sugar.

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  73. This is one, I'm embarrassed to admit, that I actually DO bitch about: My housekeeper called in sick, so now I either have to clean the house myself (horrors!) or wait an ENTIRE week for her to come back. And, to top it off, I'm a stay at home mom with 2 kids in school full time. Yes, this is what I call a "Princess Problem".

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  74. Forgot to get gas before hubby went to work so now I have to go with all the kids and bring them in.
    Ran out of lollipops at the bank...now the kids are screaming.
    Forgot my coffee in the car (in winter) now its iced coffee.
    Just went thru the mother of all snow storms in OCTOBER! Now mind you, 90% of the state has no power (therefore no heat) and were pissed off that we HAD no cable or internet at home (where we are with our five kids). I mean, come on I need fb and my blogs!! :-)

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  75. My sapphire ring scratched my cheek because I forgot to take it off before washing my face.....

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  76. on a personal note, I'm losing my schmidt over the "coffee creamer" first world problems... hilarious!!!!

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  77. I moved back to Oklahoma from Dallas and they don't have a Neiman Marcus or Nordstrom's.

    We moved into a larger house so now I have to buy more furniture.

    No stores here carry the organic milk I buy in a gallon size so I have to buy 2 half gallons.

    It takes too long to drive to Starbucks so I make coffee at home.

    Haha I love all of the above comments!

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  78. Tuition is due at preschool today and my daughter's school doesn't take the card so I had to write a check. Who writes checks anymore?

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  79. My iPhone was acting funny when I was trying the post my latest ADHD-fueled observation so it took way too long and the bees took over and now how the hell did I end up in the living room??

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  80. I keep missing whats happening on the TV because my daughters smiles are distracting me.

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  81. The Thomas train is missing. Even though the baby has 60 bazillion other trains, it must be found or hell will be paid.

    The stores are ALWAYS out of the siz or brand of diapers I use.

    My son did not receive one kit kat trick or treating for me to eat.

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  82. I like the Target coupon website so much better than others because it reloads from the top instead of making me scroll ALL the way back up the page........

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  83. I am laughing so hard. Our 20 month old is the only grandchild on both sides. The grandmothers fight over who loves her more and who can buy her the most stuff. She has four kitchen playsets, two vacuums, two shopping carts, and more toys/clothes than you can imagine. And both grandmothers argue over who gets to come see her when. My first-world problem: My child's grandparents love her too much and are too involved in her life.

    And now my coffee has gotten cold and the microwave is allll the way downstairs. Reminds me of how sometimes my eyes itch at night because I got Lasik and I could warm up the eye-pack but the microwave is allll the way downstairs then too.

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  84. We live in a housing community, For halloween last year we had 5 kids show up for trick or treating. Thought we were going to have the same this year. We didn't. 18 little kiddies show up at the door for their candy coated goodness, which ate into my personal candy stash. :(

    Got a weird look at the walmart yesterday as we go thru the line with halloween candy and .3030 shells for hunting season. No lady Im not putting out candy so I can pick off the kids who ride their bike on my lawn.

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  85. Our new wood pellet stove holds a 50 pound bag of recycled wood pellets. That means I have to expend energy to save energy. Whuck!

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  86. i LOVE this! seriously, my life is wicked hard. look:

    i live in a duplex and sometimes i hear the neighbors walking up to their attic.

    once i got all the way home before i saw that one of the shells of the organic pasture raised humane certified eggs i just bought had a tiny crack!

    i tried a new toilet paper and it's not that soft.

    sometimes the wireless connection is weak downstairs and it takes like 30 seconds for the ipad to update FB.

    all 3 of my daughter's winter coats need to be washed. AND the washer is all the way downstairs.

    sometimes i forget to turn the heat down before bed and i have to kick my covers off in the night.

    my coffee is so big that sometimes it is no longer hot by the time i get to the bottom.

    i can't decide which color to paint the bathroom.

    my floors are not heated so i have to wear slippers.

    during the big storm saturday we briefly lost power and so i had to reset all the clocks.

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  87. The electricity went out last night so my alarm didn't go off so I didn't have time to make my morning coffee before driving the kids 2 blocks to school. I will have to drive to the drive- thru Starbucks to get my morning coffee. At least it is on the way to the spa where I am getting my mani-pedi!

    Jrseygirl in VA

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  88. My coat rack doesn't have enough hooks for all my coats!

    The cable company took out the fast forward option for their prime time on demand so now I have to watch a couple of commercials!

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  89. I'm going to have to cut back on lattes to pay for my daughter's pet rat's surgery. Yes, I used "rat" and "surgery" in the same sentence. And I'm not kidding.

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  90. I ran out of custom ground locally roasted organic estate grown coffee so I had to get in my car and go through the drive-thru at Starbucks for my latte.

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  91. i almost forgot! once i was on a non-stop cross country jet blue flight and somehow they forgot to load the movie before take off. and me without my ipad! i was forced to watch something from one of the 37 channels i had on my little personal tv instead. wtf?

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  92. My boyfriend who is successful, handsome, and who treats me like a queen keeps calling me all the time and wants to spend every waking minute with me.

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  93. What do I need to do today? A. Make bed, B. Watch Netflix, C. Play games on my IPad. Gosh, I hate multiple choice questions when there is only one right answer.

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  94. My kids obey my rule that no one should be awake before 6am, but that includes me, and they are up at 6:05, so I have barely enough time to get my make up on and have to shower and iron my clothes the night before. So not cool. Then we have to negotiate over every mother loving thing from going to the bathroom to wearing winter clothes and not sundresses to "stop pulling your crawling sister across the floor by her foot!" Then we have to eat our breakfast, put on coats and get buckled in the car, only to realize as we pull away from the house that my coffee is left on the counter with nary a sip taken. then we get to preschool and the teacher is out sick so a sub is in the room and it is hell broken loose and I can't roll my eyes because I don't want my preschooler to learn how to roll her eyes at me. So I let out a long sigh, and now my preschooler sighs and as I leave the room I hear her in the role play area saying to the kids and baby dolls "hhhaahhh, we're late, I need to put the bags in the car. I'm the mommy! Let's move, let's move, let's move!" Fabulous.

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  95. I always forget that I can fast forward through the commercials on my DVR'd shows.

    American Horror Story is always a week behind on Hulu and OnDemand so I can't keep up with the water cooler talk about it.

    I always borrow my co-workers phone charger and I have to get up to get it or return it.

    My kid got so much Halloween candy at Trick or Treat last night and now I'm going to eat it all.

    I have more money in my FSA than I can spend before the end of the year.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Very timely post. I have recently emerged from what I am afectionately referring to as The Intestinal Apocolypse. So my perspective on being a mom is "soured" at the moment. I love them...but if one more thing comes OUT of any of them, I will resign. Effective immediately. Also? My F.W. complaint? My 1 year old doesn't like me to be on the computer so I'm having trouble typing this because he keeps removing my hands from the keyboard. And screaming. Dude-I spent the last week cleaning you up WHILST messing myself. Go watch Dora!!

    ReplyDelete
  97. Noggin stopped showing my 3 year old's favorite TV show and grandma deleted it from the DVR while she was visiting, so I had to order 2 episodes on DVD for $20 from Australia while getting through the 2 weeks for it to arrive with a very upset child.

    I love coffee, but cannot have caffeine, so now I am stuck getting decaf (yuck).

    The Dunkin Donuts and McDonald's employees have to be reminded several times that "light" coffee means extra milk, not less milk.

    ReplyDelete
  98. my son only got 8 reese cups for trick-or-treating last night, and 10 million jolly ranchers! What is WRoNG with people!?

    ReplyDelete
  99. "i tried a new toilet paper and it's not that soft." SLAYS ME.

    some more...
    -sometimes i have to use an over-ripe banana in my fresh, homemade smoothies that i make in my super fast Magic Bullet. I hate when bananas have brown spots on them.
    -sometimes my ridiculously-overpriced-but-worth-every-penny BOGS boots are really hard to take off.
    -my babysitter was 5 minutes late and i didn't have time to stop and get an iced coffee.
    -the pizza kit i bought came with two crusts, and i only used one, but the kit didn't come with that handy bag to store the second one in. what am i supposed to do with it??

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  100. we just moved into a bigger house & now I have to clean three bathrooms instead of two.

    since my husband cooks every meal the kitchen is his domain, but he leaves the cutting board on the counter instead of putting it where I think it should go (not on the counter).

    I loaned a sweat-shirt to a friend & she washed it before giving it back. I don't like the smell of her fabric softener so I have to wash it again.

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  101. -My husband works midnights and stay homes with our kids all day while I'm at work so we don't have to try to afford daycare...and then expects to be able to sleep when I get home, all tired from my cushy desk job.

    -The driver side window in my minivan is not working so I have to get out of the car and take my kids with me to go buy happy meals at the golden arches, then they go play in the giant tube maze while I sit with nothing to do but relax, eat french fries and catch up on my face book lurking.

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  102. Our hand-knit baby blanket fell out of the jogging stroller while I was running by the ocean and looking at whales spouting yesterday. I went back to see if someone had put it on a bench or railing nearby and it was nowhere to be found. Who would take a baby blanket??? What kind of world do we live in???

    At least that's what I was thinking til I read this post. Tx for the perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  103. My laundry room is too small and I don't like walking through the kitchen to get to it.

    Why are gas stations self-serve? Do you think I want to get out of my car to pump my gas? What side was the gas tank on again?

    Keurig k-cups are expensive, so instead of coffee almost instantly, I have to wait for my coffee maker to brew a pot. And it takes forever.

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  104. Posted here with permission from a Facebook friend - she and I were going back and forth with some FWP's of our own:

    Cases of wine are so heavy. I have to buy them by the case if I want to save 10%.

    ReplyDelete
  105. *Sigh* My husband forgot to recharge the batteries in the expensive baby swing so now I have to actually hold my sleeping baby instead of putting her down for her nap and getting some work done. So I'm stuck her on the couch with a Twix bar (from my son's Halloween stash), a cup of coffee, and my laptop to keep me occupied while I hold the baby. I know...poor me.

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  106. I have a counter and sink full of dirty dishes to go in the dishwasher, but I have to actually put away the clean dishes first.

    I have a cleaning lady to help me so I am not so overwhelmed and I bitch because all I have to do is wash the cat boxes once a week, geez!

    I am the one who gets to park in our one car garage, yet I am a little peeved that he doesn't go out and heat up my car too!

    I lost weight and now some of my favorite clothes are too big, wah wah.

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  107. Starbucks just put whipped cream on my grande non-fat pumpkin spice latte, after I explicitly asked them not to. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, I suppose.

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  108. I thought of one for my husband. He has to order his coffee with at least 8 sugars just so they'll put 2 or 3 in his coffee at Dunkin Donuts and McDonald's when he stops on his way to work.

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  109. Grocery stores do not have drive through windows and the pharmacy man does not accept bribes... I have to GET EVERYONE OUT OF THE CAR to go in to get milk.

    On a related note... my kids are so magnets to old people, a trip through the store takes entirely to long.
    -Brook

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  110. I made super cute "alien" nut-free cupcakes for my son's Hallowe'en party at school and I used so many dishes, I had to load and unload the dishwasher TWICE.

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  111. Here is Bug's FWP. He only has two Buzz Lightyear shirts and one pair of Buzz Lightyear pjs. When all three are in the wash, he has no Buzz Lightyear themed clothing to wear, and his other options Just Aren't Good Enough.

    As for me - I just had to throw out a withered and bruised apple that I've been carting around as a part of my lunch. Since there has been more than enough Halloween candy in the office for the past month, I haven't felt the need to eat that poor apple. GAH! I hate wasting food, yet I will not choose to eat the healthy stuff I actually pack for my lunch.

    - RosieLB

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  112. My TV Guide app on my iPhone won't load the listings so I have NO way of knowing if my shows are going to be new tonight!!!

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  113. Our Platinum Keurig died so we have to wait for a whole pot of coffee to brew in the morning now...

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  114. I had to spend two hundred dollars on bins and shelves to store all my kids' toys in their playroom.

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  115. After spending a fabulous week long vacation (with my husband, best girl, her husband and their 2 awesome children) staying at Avalon Cliff Guesthouse and spending our days divided between Baltimore and Washington DC and evenings with wine in the hot tub while the children slept, we had to drive through non-stop snow and slush on Saturday between Baltimore MD and Williamsport, PA and it took 9 hours to get home instead of 6!

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  116. well if I have to stand still and waste time ironing, you better believe I'm watching QVC on the 50" plasma.

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  117. I feel bad for saying "I hate my kitchen" when on the show called "I Hate My Kitchen" they don't have all stainless steel appliances or copper pots hanging from the pot rack......

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  118. The fancy dining room set we ordered a month ago still isn't here. We'll have to use the other dining room set if it's not here by Thanksgiving.

    My husband has no problem staying home and playing with the baby while I go to the gym a few nights a week. Now I actually have to go.

    People we don't know that well are coming over tonight so I have to take the Halloween decorations down today.

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  119. this is what we call "humble-brags"

    "Our flight to Hawaii was delayed 2 hours"

    "I have to let the water run for 5 minutes before it gets hot"

    "These egyptian cotton sheets always get tangled up in my legs"

    "it take me all day to clean my giant house"

    "so now i have to check out my cart of groceries MYSELF?"

    "I don't have enough room in my fridge for all this food"

    "I made three different meals for my family. Gosh they're picky!"

    I'm sure some (most) of these are repeats. but honestly, with my kids in school and my husband at work I just don't have the time to read through all the other comments.

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  120. My husband is using the laptop and my 2 year old is using my iPod, and hubby's pre-ordered iPhone 4s hasnt arrived yet and I cant check my facebook! Waaaah!!

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  121. The post office was out of festive stamps, so I had to use regular ones for my daughter's birthday party invitations.

    I defrosted chicken for dinner but now I want steak.

    My grocery store stopped carrying "some pulp" orange juice, so now I have to buy one carton of "no pulp" and one "lots of pulp" and mix them together myself.

    My kids ate all the pumpkins out of the Fall Mix, so now I only get to have the candy corn.

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  122. My new 2012 Highlander is so big, badassed, and shiny that I can't use it to block the driveway and keep the kids from running into the cul de sac anymore.

    Love your posts, love your venting, And my best friend, who moved to another country, has accused me of replacing her with you, Dear Lydia!

    Sorry, but I have to post as anonymous, since I don't have a cool blog or whatever I need to have a link!

    ~Cat

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  123. We were in the grocery store yesterday and I said to my husband" This store sucks! I can't find the organic, non-gmo corn. I won't feed that other garbage to our son." And because my husband is smart, he was quiet. God, I was just now remembering that piece I listened to on NPR about mothers abandoning their starving children because they could not save them and there I was in a full snit because Peter might have to eat Green Giant. Yep, I am an a-hole.

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  124. - I have to drive 4.3 miles to the bank that has the drive through because the one 2.1 miles from my house is a walk in.
    - I got a new iPhone and my email settings are all jacked. So my email is only pushing to my phone once every 15 minutes instead of instantaneously. Whuck?!

    ReplyDelete
  125. I went to Costco too early yesterday, and none of the samples were out yet.

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  126. we are moving to a big'ol farm house with lots of land and plenty of room to grow but there are no fast food restarants for miles and miles!

    Because our new house is so expensive i acrtually have to cook, from scratch! GAH!

    we dont have enough furniture to fill said farm house and IKEA is to far away...now we have empty space...EMPTY SPACE!!!!!! What a terrible faux pa (is that the right spellig?)

    also i have no blog or link so like the above i have to go anonymous...I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!!!!!

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  127. The delicious, healthy smoothie I made for my toddler is a little too frozen to go through his straw easily, so he keeps bringing me his cup so I can shake it for him.

    Yesterday I had to make my milkshake in the dark because I was avoiding trick or treaters like the Halloween grinch.

    I have errands to run today, but it's really windy :(

    My kid slept in today and I don't know if he'll take a nap now.

    I should really vacuum, but I need to pick up the toys and books off the floor first, and I have to hold my breath to bend over because of my big pregnant belly. Guess I'll spend another day staring at a rug full of Cherrio crumbs.

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  128. My GT-tracked kid brings home assignments that are so complicated I can't help her with her homework.

    I can't decide whether to send the Jif-Natural or the plain old Skippy in for the food drive.

    I have to buy really expensive detergent for the high efficiency washer that was supposed to save me money.

    The carpool line for my kids' school is so long we may as well just walk the whole 2 blocks.

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  129. The state i live in doesn't think that transportation to and from school is necessary so we have to pay for my daughter to ride the bus which costs about $500 for the whole year! Since it costs so much only 15 kids ride the bus (1 bus for entire school).. all of which parents have a problem getting the kids home from school if not for the bus. The school board decided because of lack of interest the route to my daughters school has been canceled leaving 15 kids without transportation to and from school. My family has 1 car because it just wasn't in our budget to get a 2nd car. Now we have to...

    ReplyDelete
  130. Ok I thought of a few more...
    - There isn't anything that I *want* to eat in my fridge. And my iphone with it's "one-touch-order-a-pizza app" is across the room.
    - I don't feel well and I'm annoyed I have to spend 10 minutes prepping food for my crock pot to cook for dinner.

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  131. - I get annoyed when my iPhone autotext changes my curse words to something different. Then I have to backspace & type it all over again. That ducking piece of shut.

    ReplyDelete
  132. - I just went to post a bunch of my First World problems and Google just shat on me and when I came back, all of my problems were gone. Now I have to figure out if I want to spend the next 10 minutes re-writing them.

    ReplyDelete
  133. My company supplies free coffee and tea, but they only supply powdered creamer because they are too cheap to spring for real half and half.

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  134. @ella- BIG laughs! So sad you had to go through that to experience "growth".

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  135. My personalized iPhone case partially blocks the auxiliary adapter cable hole, so now I cannot listen to Pandora internet radio in my car. It is so hard being me.

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  136. So I decided to rewrite mine. I know you're relieved.

    - My mailman was 1/2 an hour late today, and he had my new Pottery Barn catalog.

    - The candle I'm burning right now is too Christmas-y, but the other one I have is too Halloween-y. How can I get into the appropriate Holiday mood without the right scent?

    - Angry Birds has the potential to ruin my marriage.

    - The goat cheese I bought at Costco two weeks ago has already gone bad.

    - The fun-sized Milky Ways are definitely a few tenths of an ounce smaller than they used to be.

    - No matter what, I just can't find the right lipstick shade for my hair color and skin tone at Sephora. Even *with* help.

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  137. I'm a long-time reader, first time commentor. I thought, if this isn't a first world problem, I don't know what is:

    I gained so much weight during pregnancy I had to re-size my wedding band and engagement ring.

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  138. The motion sensor lights in my window office keep shutting off, so I have to wave my arms around every 30 minutes or be forced to work by natural light.

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  139. The motion sensor lights in my window office keep shutting off, so I have to wave my arms around every 30 minutes or be forced to work by natural light.

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  140. the holiday-scented candles and ducking piece of shut made me giggle hysterically.

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  141. There is no Diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge, so now I have to pour my soda into a glass with ice.

    I forgot to mail my DVD back to Netflix, so now I will have to wait an extra day to start season 4 of Dexter.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Ooooo, ooooo! I thought of a couple more so I CAME BACK because you *know* you wanted to hear them:

    I have to get up at five am so I can work out at the gym and be back before my husband leaves for work.

    I have a regular old dryer, that only has sensors and fifty billion settings, but NO STEAM. So, sometimes, I actually have to plug in my iron and run it over the top of clothing.

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  143. My microwave died (spectacularly, I might add) and I've been forced to heat up everything on the stove.

    My son had swim lessons on Halloween so we got started Trick-or-Treating late and most people had already run out of candy and turned off their porch lights. Now I'll actually have to buy my kids candy.

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  144. I got a tiny drop of spaghetti sauce under the edge of the pleasing retro decal on my Kindle, and I had to peel up the edge a little to clean it, so now it doesn't look perfect.

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  145. i keep refreshing this page. all day.
    whatever it is you have on your blog that keeps the browser in the exact same spot on the page when you refresh, is AWESOME.

    ReplyDelete
  146. This is both hysterically funny and an excellent reality check. Great job!

    Here are a few I thought of:

    My dishwasher didn't get all the crud off this dish, so I have to actually wash it myself.

    My new house is so big, it takes me 3 days to clean it all.

    My pantry and fridge are so full, I can't decide what to make for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  147. I have a self-cleaning litter box for my cats, but I still have to empty the receptacle once in a while. Ewww.

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  148. The battery on my mac is dying and I can't go downstairs to get the cord because I am staying up in the bedroom with our fear aggressive dog while my husband deals with the service technician for our washer. Our doggie psychologist suggests that we avoid confrontation with strangers for now.

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  149. I work in the ghetto...this job puts me one of the most dangerous cities in America, in one of the scariest section of that city. Dare I say there are ghetto problems and Caucasian problems..

    Ghetto problems: The drive bys were so loud and close that they couldn't complete their homework because all the kids in the family were hiding in the bathtub..

    Or.. the water quality is so poor in the city that all residents have to boil all their own water daily. (yes, this is NOT supposed to be a first world problem.. but it is .. I see it daily!)

    Caucasian problems: Getting into a snit because the parking lot was full at Wegmans

    Being upset that the line was too long at Starbucks

    ReplyDelete
  150. Thank you, you inspired me. Here's mine-
    http://alexileilawrites.blogspot.com/2011/11/thank-you-for-my-first-world-problems.html

    ReplyDelete
  151. I want to watch another Friends rerun but I already saw this one tonight, on a different channel.

    i want to go get drive-thru, but i'm already in my pj's.

    the facebook layout changed AGAIN and now i'm getting email notifications that i had turned off in my settings years ago. now i have to GO IN MY SETTINGS AND CHANGE THEM AGAIN.

    someone tagged me in an unflattering photo on facebook and now i have to click a button to untag myself. what if someone important saw it in the 5 seconds before i deleted the tag??

    i need to go to bed, but really cool things keep popping up in my Pinterest feed and i have to pin them before my friends do so that it seems like i have better ideas than them.

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  152. Ugh. My super awesome husband wants to have sex with me because he thinks I'm hot.

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  153. The backyard looks ugly when the pool cover is on.

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  154. My husband interrupted my nap by bringing me a Starbucks. He also did all the laundry but left it folded downstairs and now I'm out of underwear and don't want to walk all the way down there to get it. I ate too much pancetta last night and now I'm bloated.

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  155. Thank you so much for this!!!

    My cleaning ladies brought all the dirty laundry downstairs yesterday, so now I'm overwhelmed by all the loads I have to run through my super-sized HE washer and dryer.

    My husband turned the thermostat down to 68 last night and it was chilly this morning when I came down to get the kids off to school. I've had to snuggle with a blanket to check my email and blogs on my wireless laptop to stay warm while the house heats up a little more.

    All this Halloween candy in the house is really messing with my weight-loss goals this week.

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  156. I don't really have any new ones to add, I just have to add in my "vote" for my favorites:
    -having to watch things in real-time rather than DVR
    -reimbursement checks sent as actual checks rather than direct deposit - weeeeeaaaak
    -my kid used my ipad/droid while waiting at the doctor and I had nothing to do
    -hitting refresh or back on a webpage and NOT jumping back to the spot I was at and then having to scroll all the way down.

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  157. My kids' toys are like bunnies...where do they all come from???

    *I'm* tired of watching the same two Curious George DVDs over and over again.

    We have too many strollers.

    How are we going to get through all these eggs before they go bad???

    I have to clean BOTH bathrooms.

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  158. Some from my husband:
    The new HD Digital tv tuner with playback live tv and media centre made a 1mm black line around the edge of the screen, so it had to be returned.

    I recently got glasses, so now i can enjoy HD as tv makers intended. My husband is now upset may not be experiencing 'full HD', so he's booked in for an eye test.

    Oh, and can movie makers stop making movies in 'letterbox format'. Apparently lots of valuable pixels are being needlessly wasted in those black bars at the top and bottom of the screen.

    ReplyDelete
  159. We had to buy a second vacuum cleaner because our new house has stairs. You know how much those things way?!

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  160. I found one moldy strawberry in my $5/pint organic strawberries and I had to throw it (the one strawberry) out. Honestly, how is my family supposed to live like this??!!

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  161. *weigh?! Apparently I don't know how to spell. Stupid fat fingers

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  162. Hahahahaha! Love it, once again.

    I don't know how to fire my cleaning lady. She's unreliable and not very good at cleaning. I'm gonna have to lie.

    I bought a 2nd hand jogger that my kid HATES, he's 2 years old and SO unsupportive of my attempts at an exercise regime. Now I have to get rid of it and my husband is gonna laugh at me. FOREVER.

    That's all my overburdened brain can produce right now. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  163. The douche (err, I mean dude) across the street just fired up a table saw in his garage right as I was laying down for a mommy nap. Now I am going to have to sit up and get my ear plugs off the nightstand.

    It has taken so long for the stuff I ordered off of zulily to arrive that I no longer remember what it is.

    Sigh.

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  164. My child didn't sleep through the night until he was 21 months old. Now he sleeps through the night but I can't sleep in ever because now I automatically wake up at 6:25 AM every morning on the dot, wide eyed and bushy-tailed.

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  165. I bought lots of "green" type household cleaners, but the maid service refuses to use them because they don't clean as well as bleach, and now my house smells like bleach and I have a headache.

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  166. my kids have learnt to count and can tell Daddy/Grandma/teacher how many glasses of wine mommy had last night.

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  167. I have a job I'm not sure I like, but it keeps paying me, so I can't quit.

    I have two weeks to empty my deep freeze so my order for a year's worth of meat will fit... and the meals I have to make from the current deep freeze contents are going to be less than healthy.

    ReplyDelete
  168. I dropped my blush compact on the bathroom floor, and now my white tile is "Orgasm" colored.

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  169. I don't have time to put the clean laundry away because I'm trying to participate in NaNoWriMo.

    I got a new bottle of wine, but I can't open it because I have a Trader Joe's wine box (a TJ-box, if you will) that I haven't finished.

    My work computer is really slow, so sometimes Pandora freezes.

    I'd love to have another kid, but we only have a three-bedroom and it would be really hard to give up the office. (I always think about what a first world problem this one is, as my grandparents had five kids in a much smaller three-bedroom than mine.)

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  170. When I got my last massage, I decided to add on a scalp massage to the end. Only the massuse pulled my hair so bad, I could hardly see straight. But I'm a wimp when it comes to in-person-confrontation, so I suffered through it, counting the seconds till the whole 15 minutes was over. Because of that, I left the spa feeling way more stressed then when I entered. Poor me.

    ReplyDelete
  171. I have two dishwashers and sometimes I have to empty both of them in the same day.
    My house is too big and so I have to yell really loudly from the kitchen when dinner is ready because going all the way upstairs to get the children is too long a walk.
    My refrigerator shelves are too much trouble to adjust so I have to fight with them to put back the gallon milk container.
    The basketball hoop fell over on my car in a storm so now I have to make the landscaper install a "basketball system" that is cutting into my hot tub budget.

    ReplyDelete
  172. My boyfriend sends me presents all the time, which means instead of just driving in and out of the garage, I have to actually unlock the front door to pick them up from the porch. Damn my life.

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  173. My kids are napping and I'm exhausted because I stayed up late to have sex with my husband, but netflix now has vampire diaries so I'm not going to get to nap.

    ReplyDelete
  174. I have to wake up super early on the days my housekeeper comes.

    I am laughing my ass off at these!

    ReplyDelete
  175. Those self scan machines at Whole Foods really make shopping for imported brie & Kobe beef such a chore. So much extra work. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  176. My 21 month old is potty trained and now her pants are too big.

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  177. Started the dishwasher and then found a bunch more dirty dishes the kids had left in the t.v. room!

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  178. My daughter's blond curls are so adorable strangers continuously stop me to tell me how beautiful she is.
    -Amy amester4@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  179. I lost the charger for my DSLR camera battery so now I have to capture our family memories on my iPhone. The horror!

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  180. When I ordered my XL coffee at Dunkin Donuts with cream and sugar, they asked me how many creams and how many sugars. How am I supposed to know that? You've been adding the cream and sugar for years. Ugh. I can't go to Starbucks, because they don't have a drive-thru, and if I get my four kids out of their car seats and bring them in, we'll be late for dance class and they'll want a snack, too. And I only have enough cash for my coffee, and I don't want to use the ATM card, because then my husband will know that I was late again because I stopped for coffee again. Geesh. Thanks for nothing, DD.

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  181. On Thursdays, my husband goes to work a half-hour later, which means when he wakes me up a half-hour later after he's showered and dressed with the lights off not to disturb me, I don't have enough time to check FB and my blogs before the kids wake up.

    ReplyDelete
  182. I got a new wireless router but it will be 3 days before it arrives so I have to use the computer in the office and not my laptop. I can't look at Pinterest in the bathroom.

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  183. I cracked a tooth and will have to wait to be worked in between 2 patients today at my amazing state of the art dentist, so I might get caught in traffic and have to stop somewhere to kill time, because I would rather eat or shop than sit in the car. Meanwhile, my husband has to get off his great job to come home and be with our boys, while I do this. Just awful, I tell you!

    ReplyDelete
  184. My son's beautiful curls, round cheeks, and big blue eyes make people call him "she" all the time.

    My kids electric Thomas engine won't run on the Rayovac batteries, so I had to spend 10 minutes looking for our last Duracell.

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  185. Saturday night, we were calling everyone on our phone list to find out the difference between a hen & a tom turkey. We were getting quite frustrated cuz no one was home to tell us. We finally got someone to google it for us. ;-)

    So-- standing in a store full of food, and spending 15 minutes trying to decide which of 50 frozen turkeys to buy? Total first world problem. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  186. My son is in the hospital for croup, and I had to miss the first 10 minutes of Desperate Housewives last night because the nurse was talking to me while checking his vitals.

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  187. I hurt from the massage I had yesterday.

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  188. When my daughters clothes are all freshly laundered, there is not enough room in her closet

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  189. I just moved into a new house. The garden tub in the master bathroom is so big, there was no room to build a linen closet. Therefore, I have to make room in MY closet for the three sets of sheets, four blankets, a set of 10 towels, and my "backup" comforter from Pottery Barn. That made me move my 6 suits that I no longer wear (since I'm a SAHM now)to the guest bedroom closet. How dare the builder do this to me? Sheesh.

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  190. Last night, I spent 30 minutes trying to figure out where the cleaning lady had put the electric wine opener.

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  191. Oh, I forgot one.

    The oven in our upstairs kitchen died this summer, and we've yet to replace it. So I have to use the oven in our *downstairs* kitchen until we replace it. This also means I only have ONE oven to cook Thanksgiving dinner in.

    Additionally, the skylights in our family room don't have a remote or anything - you have to actually use this pole thing with a hook on it to open them or close them. It's annoying, not to mention that the pole thing is hideous and looks ugly in the corner (but if I put it in the closet, it's a hassle to get it in and out).

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  192. I invited a friend and her husband to stay at our house for a week a few years back so they wouldn't be homeless (they had checked out of military housing but he wasn't checked out of his unit yet).

    I gave them the master bedroom and bath since my husband was deployed and they had an infant at the time (try making a child with Asperger's share their room and see how long you last).

    I went into *my* master bathroom to find my vibrator sitting on the counter...confrontation ensued and they left in a hurry. I didn't find out he had USED my husband's fleshlight I recently purchased as a joke to send in a care package until AFTER they left. (Let me back up and say I don't leave the funzies just randomly about, they were inside a box at the very top/back of my closet shelves so he HAD to be snooping to find these ~ all funzies were disposed of after).

    So now it's coming upon that time that my dh could possibly deploy again. I can't bring myself to buy a replica of my favorite toy without the creepy thought that this a$$hole was getting off in my bathroom with the visual aid of my fav toy sitting on the sink in front of him. I have tried others but THAT one remains my favorite but I just can't bring myself to buy another one.

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  193. I've already posted, but had one more over the weekend...

    I am trying to plan for Christmas and my kid just has too many toys! So I cleaned, organized and got rid of a whole bunch of things...(two doll houses - to make room for the giant one she is getting for Christmas), a lego bus and baby toys that she has grown out of. I could save them for the "next" kid, but what if it's a boy? He won't want pink toys so I'll just buy him new stuff. Now with so much room in the toy room, I can justify Christmas!

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  194. When you go to put non-fat milk in your coffee and it is out and you have to wait for the barista to refill it. Yes, you could just use the 2%, Half & Half, or Whole Milk that is already out...but who can afford the calories?

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  195. Another "coffee" related conundrum. I have grown to ONLY like spicy chai and will not drink sweet stuff (like Starbuck's). So whenever encountering a new coffee place I have to ask and then become annoyed if they don't know what kind of chai they have (and don't offer me a sample) or only have sweet stuff but then try to sell it as acceptable to my pallet.

    PS-This is a really fun rant.

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  196. My mother offered to take our dog for the next 3 weeks (we are off on vacation in 2 weeks time) so now I have to clean my toddler's food off the floor myself.

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  197. Ok, last one...

    That up until very recently Neiman Marcus didn't take Visa or MasterCard.

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  198. I want to get another cafe mocha at the Starbucks drivethru, but my cup holders are already full of empty coffee cups.

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  199. I went to the store to buy my organic cotton biodegradable applicator tampons and they were out of them. I had to settle for good old plastic applicator tampax.

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  200. I have to go all the way upstairs to go to the bathroom because I'm remodeling the powder room. Then I can't hear the tv anymore, so I have to pause it or time my trip during a commercial break.

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