Wednesday, December 7, 2011

10 Things We Didn't Expect About Hookers Helping

Last Friday, we decided to try an experiment. You hookers know we love science and stuff. What we weren't prepared for? 1,400 emails in 2 days. And a couple hundred more every day after that. So please be patient with us, we're making great progress towards getting everyone matched but we're not there yet.

We are so happy to be doing this and we are so grateful to all of you. And here are ten things we didn't expect:

10) We're not actually hookers.

9) For the first time in the history of ever, Lydia got all her holiday stuff done by December 1. Kate thought she was joking at first. Apparently that was karma freeing up her schedule to do some serious holiday hooking. All she needs is fishnets.

8) Did you know that we have all kinds of people that want to party with us in Australia? WE LOVE THOSE B*TCHES.

7) For the first time in the history of ever, Kate has done nothing to get ready for the holidays, NOTHING. Usually she's done by now and smugly drinking warm, yuletide cocktails by the large window in her house. Enjoying watching passing pedestrians slip and fall on the ice. This year? No ice. No hot toddies. Not a single thing done. She blames this on the fact that she's turning 40 on Saturday and has now officially reached middle age.

6) Canadians? Could not be any cooler. And we mean that both ways.

5) We've gotten all these emails from our very awesome neighbors to the north about this hooker project and they're all like "Are you guys doing Canadians?" And we're like: "Oh even yesser. We're forever doing Canadians. Eh?"

4) That based on our mad math skillz, you guys will be sending and receiving anywhere between ten and twelve THOUSAND dollars in giftcards to each other. Maybe a lot more. Are you guys kidding us? You know what this means? That MommyLand should be running the freakin' world.

3) Timing wise, reading heartbreaking emails while in the throes of full-on PMS is maybe not a good idea. "Why is mommy crying AGAIN? Do computers make mommies cry?"

2) That we got three new Twitter followers. They're hookers. Real ones. Excellent.

1) Kate never thought this would work, because she's cynical and heartless and the girl Grinch. But then we got this tremendous response and now Lydia gets to be right and say booyah and shake her PajamaJeaned ass at Kate while doing the I Told Ya So Dance. And, after all, isn't that what Christmas is all about?

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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