Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The 12 Stages of Deployment

Apparently, our deep and abiding love for military mamas is well known. Because two weeks ago, a very nice lady sent us this link and told us that her friend had made it and asked us to watch it.

We did and immediately started stalking them both until they agreed to let us post it here. The gorgeous mama you see below told us to post away and we're thrilled to do so. Here's a little about our friend Mary Clarity (is that an awesome name or what?):

"Hi! My name is Mary Clarity. My husband has been deployed for 6.5 months (but who is counting!?) and we have 2 children, one who was born recently. Deployments are not fun but I love the chance to reconnect with girlfriends, let my leg hair grow out to a luxurious pelt, shop guiltfree at Nordstrom (though the 2 kids does mean that it only happens once a year!), reassign man-knick-knacks to the garage, eat chocolate, compose Christmas songs and then sing them badly and post them on public forums. Can I hear an Amen?"

AMEN.

So to every mom whose husband is deployed this Christmas - Thank you, rock on with your bad selves and this one's for you with our love and gratitude.



Here are the lyrics...
In the first stage of deployment, my true love said to me..
I miss you and you miss me
In the second stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Chocolate's not a food group (it is when you're deployed)
In the third stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Buy something pretty (don't have to ask me twice)
In the forth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
I think we've been extended
In the fifth stage of deployment I called up my true love...
I just had your baby!
In the sixth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Don't believe the president (not because he's a liar, but what he said doesn't apply to us, for reasons we can't explain, because of operational security, but if you guess please don't say anything, because you'll get me in trouble)
In the seventh stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Wine's not a food group either (my food pyramid disagrees with you)
In the eighth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Stop spending money! (Just try and stop me)
In the ninth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Are you renovating? (I always do when you are gone)
In the tenth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
Where are my model airplanes? (packed up in the garage, where they should be)
In the eleventh stage of deployment my true love said to me...
You should shave your legs now (ha ha ha ha ha)
In the twelfth stage of deployment... if ever that day comes...
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Yes please)

xo, Kate & Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

52 comments:

  1. *standing ovation!!*
    That was pure genius! Thanks Kate & Lydia for stalking to be able to share it, that woman deserves chocolate!

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  2. Love this! God bless all the deployed military and their families waiting at home!

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  3. Love her! Can't even imagine, but love her attitude. Hope her hubby makes it home soon safe and sound and that the airplanes get to stay in the garage.

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  4. Can she send you the lyrics? It's a little hard to understand.

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  5. SO great!! Would love to see the lyrics printed out, too. This is absolutely clever, adorable, hilarious, and touching all wrapped in one. Thanks for sharing it!

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  6. Love this! My DH isn't deployed/in military but he does work away from home for long periods of time (is away more of the year than is home), so I can relate to much of this. Except having a baby when he was away (we came close, but luckily he was there both times) - that's truly rough and definitely justifies the wine & chocolate. Thanks for sharing!

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  7. This is AMAZING! Two babies and more Holidays than I can count have been celebrated while my husband was deployed...... I only disagree with one thing... Wine is the ONLY food group during a deployment. :)

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  8. Amen!! That was super! You go, Girl!

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  9. I don't know how it feels to be a wife of a deployed army man but I do know how it feels to a child of a deployed dad. I was the oldest of 3 kids, so it was my job to help my mom with everything I remember helping her balance the check book to practice math. I remember becoming her best friend and I'm still that way. We moved back to the small home town that my parents grew up in when my day got shipped over seas and it took to long for quarters. I remember coming home in tears because the other kids would tell me that my dad was dead or that my parents were divorced but didn't want to tell us. I was over a year before we were able to even see him again. And believe me it was so weird to have him back in our everyday life.

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  10. This is GREAT!! I hit month number 5 yesterday & Stage #7 so now I have to go share it on my won Blog. Thank You for making it & then Sharing!

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  11. Military mom here... I love this. Thanks for posting and sharing. This woman is brilliant. Lyrics are written in her description in Youtube for those of you who have trouble understanding her.

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  12. What do mean Chocolate's not a food group? Or wine? I thought they were dairy and fruit.This Beautiful Woman just shows that we can do anything.Her husband must miss her so much, and her kids are lucky. (Applause here)You go girl!!<3

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  13. Seriously!?!?! When did wine get taken out of the food pyramid? Grapes are fruit!! Still good!

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  14. I've never been a military wife/mother, but because of the economy the hubby and I did live in different cities for about 7 months starting when my daughter was about 4 months old (he lost his job and moved, I couldn't find a job and stayed so I could work). We switched "custody" of our daughter every week, so every weekend I drove the 4 hours to either pick her up or drop her off (he worked weekends, so I always did the driving). Those weeks with no husband and no baby were some of the worst of my life. If wine and chocolate weren't food groups I don't think I would have eaten much of anything during those weeks.
    I could never thank the troops and their families for their service and sacrifice. You guys all rock!

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  15. I love this! I'm a Marine brat so I remember when Dad was deployed. I know it's not the same but I have a little spot in my heart for military wives and families because Maude knows, I couldn't do it. Happy Holidays!

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  16. Ok, between stinky speakers, kids hollering, and the phone ringing every 30 seconds, I missed like half of the song .... anyway we can have the lyrics posted so I can read them?? I know, I'm a pain in the butt ... sorry. :(

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  17. Oh please tell me Mary Clarity is on Twitter. Please, at least tell me she has a blog I can follow. This is the ANTHEM for deployed families :D

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  18. Wow!!! I am CRYING. The song was amazing, but the thing that made me cry is that she HAD A BABY while the hubs was deployed...and IIIIII was upset when my husband only took a FEW days off for the birth of our child. I am a TERRIBLE person. LOVE to the military wives / husbands waiting at home and especially to the brave men and women who are overseas...oh, and I DON'T believe the President :) not when the troops are involved. I will continue to pray for the troops UNTIL THE LAST ONE RETURNS HOME!!! :)

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  19. Fantastic!!! My DH just got back from afstan (as my daughter says). Luckily he was still home for the birth of our son, but just barely. You definitely have to keep a sense of humor and eat much chocolate and wine. God bless you and your family! Praying for all our men/women and families who will be apart this holiday season!!

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  20. Lyrics :-)from her youtube description

    In the first stage of deployment my true love said to me...

    I miss you and you miss me
    In the second stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Chocolate's not a food group (it is when you're deployed)
    In the third stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Buy something pretty (don't have to ask me twice)
    In the forth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    I think we've been extended
    In the fifth stage of deployment I called up my true love...
    I just had your baby!
    In the sixth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Don't believe the president (...)
    In the seventh stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Wine's not a food group either (my food pyramid disagrees with you)
    In the eighth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Stop spending money! (Just try and stop me)
    In the ninth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Are you renovating? (I always do when you are gone)
    In the tenth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Where are my model airplanes? (packed up in the garage, where hey should be)
    In the eleventh stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    You should shave your legs now (ha ha ha ha ha)
    In the twelfth stage of deployment... if ever that day comes...
    Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Yes please)

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  21. From the video on youtube:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RqVUiTjV_g

    In the first stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    I miss you and you miss me
    In the second stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Chocolate's not a food group (it is when you're deployed)
    In the third stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Buy something pretty (don't have to ask me twice)
    In the forth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    I think we've been extended
    In the fifth stage of deployment I called up my true love...
    I just had your baby!
    In the sixth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Don't believe the president (...)
    In the seventh stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Wine's not a food group either (my food pyramid disagrees with you)
    In the eighth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Stop spending money! (Just try and stop me)
    In the ninth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Are you renovating? (I always do when you are gone)
    In the tenth stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    Where are my model airplanes? (packed up in the garage, where hey should be)
    In the eleventh stage of deployment my true love said to me...
    You should shave your legs now (ha ha ha ha ha)
    In the twelfth stage of deployment... if ever that day comes...
    Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Yes please)

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  22. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! God bless you, Mary Clarity, your family, and all those military families who sacrifice so much every day!!! We're happily retired, but are daily thankful that we made it through all the trainings, schools, and deployments. : )

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  23. Don't believe the president?! Oh, boy.

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  24. Love, Love, Love! My hubby just got back from a 7 month deployment and they have no stand-down (break) until Christmas! I feel her pain, though I did not have a baby. Chocolate and wine were definite musts the whole time he was gone. More power to my military wife sisters who have to deal with their other half being gone over the holidays!

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  25. Amen and amener. As to the anonymous poster above me, isn't freedom of speech so nice for you?

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  26. You are amazing! Thank you for your dedication to your husband, and thank you to your husband for his dedication to our country.

    Very creative. I cried and laughed :) :)

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  27. Anonymous...The irony of your comment is that it is our American military who protects your constitutional right to free speech and your freedom to make dumb-ass comments like that. Go to China or Myanmar or Syria and make public comments like that against the government and see where it gets you.

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. Massive WIN!!! Wine and chocolate to all spouses of the deployed. May they come home safe and SOON!!

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  30. Perfect! We're hitting those stages too (easy on the chocolate though, and no wine because I'm pregnant)... thanks Mary Clarity!!! I love it! -Ells

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  31. I passed this along to my sister who's hubby is deployed currently through Christmas and it made her day!! Thanks for sharing!!

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  32. As a wife that has survived over 50 months of deployment collectively - this is all true! And wine IS a food group!

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  33. ahhh, i LOVE this! i never shave my legs during deployments, hahaha! i had a feeling i wasn't alone. i'm a Marine wife, and i've done Christmas solo, been pregnant while my hubby was in afghan... we've gone through a lot, yes. but our love is so much stronger for it!

    this song is great, her attitude is great. deployments are hard, and humor adds such needed levity to it all =)

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  34. As an Army wife, and a HUGE fan of your blog, thank you for posting this!! And thanks for adding a serious amount of hilarity to my otherwise mundane existance. :)

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  35. LOVE IT!!!!! My husband is a Navy Officer. Two Christmases ago, I lived through ALL 12 STAGES, including having a deployment baby with a 2 year old at home. This year, I'm doing it again, minus that whole baby part, and this made me truly laugh until I cried for the first time in weeks. Thank you so much for sharing!!!

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  36. that was awesome... definitely needed that today! my hubby has been gone for 6.5months too... was told they were coming home early and now they aren't ... life is grand... =/ God bless our troops!

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  37. This is one of my girlfriends and she is every bit as hilarious and talented in person as in this clip! We have shared countless laughs together and she deserves all the recognition she is getting - and more!!

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  38. Awesome!! Love love love it!!!

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  39. I am 8 months into my 3rd deployment with my husband (on his last deployment I "had his baby and our 2 year old"-- I feel your pain ;). We have two young children and this made me laugh so hard I nearly cried (I needed both). The sixth stage is especially hilarious--we had the "Sixth Stage" conversation recently. I pray for you and all our troops and their families around the world. Wishing you the very best.

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  40. Brilliant!! I love it! My guys is deployed for the second Christmas in a row and I needed to laugh and this hit the giggle spot, thanks! xx

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  41. I have been there, my first child was born during my husband's deployment I am just not that talented. Two months after his birth, my husband came home on R&R and two weeks later we found out we were expecting #2. Now we have three one year apart! Watch out for the last stage of deployment!

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  42. I love it!! That is the second time I've seen her sing something. She's amazing. :)

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  43. Thank you for the lyrics! This passed around my group of friends when it first came out, but I couldn't understand it! My hubby is deployed now too and thanks to living with my parents, I've only hit 3 of the stages! 4 months left to try out the other stages! :)

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  44. This is AWESOME.

    Thanks for sharing.

    If you'd like to help the 1 in 88 military kids with autism, less than 10% of which are getting services via TRICARE's ECHO program, please go to http://cmkaa.wordpress.com and harass your Members of Congress to support the Caring For Military Kids With Autism Act (CMKAA) HR2288.

    It's SUPER EASY and takes only a minute. I have done all of the work for you and you don't even need to know who your Rep is!

    My daughter was born with special needs while my hub was in Afghanistan in 2006 and then she was dx'd with autism on the next deployment in 2010. So I get it. Deployments are hard, and autism doesn't make them any more fun.

    Every voice counts! I harassed my Congressman and it turned into a bill that would change this nonsense of our military families being left without care.

    Please lend YOUR support!

    Thanks,
    Rachel Kenyon @MrsSGMKenyon

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  45. That is AMAZING and I LOVE IT!

    stimcity, be aware that your daughter should already qualify for early childhood intervention (through ECI till age 3, then through the school district).

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