Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Update: The Grand Hooker Experiment

The Grand Hooker Experiment is now 10 days old. It has blown our minds. And it has also totally blown up. As of today, we are -- sadly --no longer accepting names. The experiment, that we had hoped to run through December 20th, will end today - December 13th.

Despite the enormous amounts of generosity and love that have flooded our inbox, there is just more need out there than we can help with. In the past few days, the ratio of those needing vs. those able to help reached a point where we realized the project wasn't sustainable. The longer we keep accepting names, the more people will be disappointed.

One reason for this is that word of what we're doing has spread far beyond the borders of MommyLand. And there are mommies and babies and kiddos in need everywhere. In Oregon, in New Jersey, in North Carolina, in Canada and in Prague, Czech Republic. We want to help all of these mommies. We want to hug them and bring them a glass of a wine and curl up next to them on the couch and let them know that even though we're not in a position to help, that we care so much about them.

We're also worried that our experiment is at a tipping point. Where if it got tweeted or mentioned on a message board or Facebook wall or blog post - we could be flooded with thousands of requests for help each day. We're barely able to keep up with the hundreds of requests that are coming in now.

And not withstanding the fact that these requests are directed (literally) to Helping Hookers, we feel concerned that we're not an actual charity or 501 C 3 or anything. We're two stupid, inept mommy bloggers who saw a chance to help other moms and took it. If this project gets much bigger, we just couldn't handle it. Plus, we don't have a staff. Or an industrial-sized coffee machine

Here's what you should know:
  • If you emailed us for help before today, we will try and match you up with a hooker.

  • Sadly, we can make no guarantee that you will receive anything, even if you've been matched up. We do our best, but if your mailing address was wonky or you didn't tell us what stores were near you or your hooker got sick... We're so very sorry, but some things are out of our control.

  • If you emailed us asking to be matched up with someone before today, you will get a match. Just please, please be patient with us.

  • If you emailed us offering goods, services or hand-me-downs - we're still in the process of trying to match you. This might take a little bit longer, but we're totally working on it...
When we realized we had to shut this down and leave so many wonderful mommies disappointed, we were very upset. And feeling like this project had shown us a mountain of need that we stood no chance of climbing. And the little candles of hope in our grinchy hearts were starting to burn very low indeed. And maybe we ugly cried and felt like giving up and wondered why we bothered when we could never help everyone and (sob) we can't fix what's wrong and (gulp) this is so much harder than we though it would be.

And then...

We got a thank you. From a mommy who would be able to give her a child a gift. Who burst into tears of happiness and relief and gratitude because of a $20 Walmart gift card.

And then we were like: GIDDYUP, MOFOS - It's on like Donkey Kong! We may not be able to help everyone but for all those mommies we've got now, we're gonna hook those hookers up or die trying.

This was, at it's core, an experiment of trust. And our trust was been restored (Kate) and validated (Lydia) and in the past nine days our hearts have grown three sizes. It has been beautiful. Thank you so much for trusting us to do this. We love you guys.

xo, Kate & Lydia

A very important PS:
We had to ask for help. You know Guru Louise? She writes for us and is Kate's second best friend and is very kind, honest and reliable...and has that boy with the awesomest red hair in the world. Remember her? She helped us. For hours and hours and hours and hours. She cried with us and encouraged us and gave us a break so we could put our kids to bed and honestly? We could not have done this without her. It's that simple. THANK YOU, GURU. We love you like cake.

We also want to thank Amy of Pregnant Chicken and Rebekah from Mom in a Million for their help. And all the other bloggers who helped us through this, including Momastery, our own personal Yoda/Spirit Guide. We want to send you crystals and long flowy gowns and have you teach us how to bend spoons. But also, talk like this you shall. Teach us well you will.

Love you much we do.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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