10 Things I Lost in the Move

I moved last fall. It was awful. That being said, I love our new house and I feel so lucky to be here. I wake up every day with this feeling of lightness and relief because the move is over. It was sort of like Jr. High School - I don't regret doing it and I know it was an important rite of passage that helped get me where I was supposed to be. But I hated every f*cking minute of it.

And like Junior High, I did not handle it well. I was a petulant misery to be around. I was exhausted and stressed and my stupid beloved husband was on the other side of the country traveling for work. So I had to do most of it alone. I shouldn't complain - single parents and military families do it and they don't spend all their time whining about how hard it is.

But as I said - didn't handle it well.

You don't necessarily realize what you've lost for a while. Then it's a month later and you're all "Where is that fruit bowl that your Aunt Jane lent us?" and you go to look for it and can't find it. Then after a fruitless and frustrating search, you come to the conclusion that it's just gone.

Then there's the other stuff you lose. The stuff that goes missing into the ether and paints a very interesting picture of the whole process, as well as your questionable mental health. So here's a list of things I lost while moving.

10. Every single pair of my son's underpants. What?

9. One large Justin Beiber poster. By "accident".

8. My ability to not shriek and instead ask nicely to please hurry up because we're late.

7. The Dora backpack that sings really loud and doesn't have an off-switch.

6. Four weeks of sleep.

5. My desire to cook or eat anything healthy or anything other than take-out. [Editor's note - it was not unlike the Morgan Spurlock documentary "Supersize Me" except for some bizarre reason I actually lost about 5 pounds.]

4. Pictures of myself in college while on spring break in Jamaica. Also on accident. They sort of fell into the grill while there was a really big fire in it.

3. An athletic cup. Not the strappy part that holds it in place. Just the cup. Huh?

2. The most heinous red tie in the history of ever, purchased at JC Penney in the early 90's worn for the sole purpose of annoying me.

1. My sense of humor.*


*I eventually got it back.

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