Monday, January 9, 2012

A Beyonce Baby Wishlist

Guru Louise sent us this last night and reminded us why we love her so much.
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When I checked-in with the news on Sunday morning I was immediately assaulted with the information that Beyoncé! Had! Her! Baby! I love me some Beyoncé (and will perform the Single Ladies dance in its entirety upon request) but I’ve had some mixed feelings about Beyoncé’s pregnancy in the media. Maybe it was her big reveal of The Bump at the VMAs or perhaps as Mommy Shorts so accurately explained, it was because her nursery is a bit, um, extravagant.  

But by far the most jaw-dropping news story related to this tiny little superstar is that Jay-Z and Beyoncé rented out the entire top floor of Lenox Hill Hospital for $1.3 million to afford the new family some privacy from the paparazzi and help them get some peace and quiet. (Uh, if they wanted peace and quiet they probably shouldn’t have just had a baby, but whatever.) Let me repeat this: they rented out the ENTIRE FLOOR of a hospital for her birth and recovery. 

Well hot damn, Beyoncé! I'm happy for you and I'm genuinely so glad you have a healthy baby.  But wow. Just wow.

It got me thinking, why stop at a nursery bigger than my house and renting a private hospital floor? If I was a new mom again and had seemingly limitless funds I’d probably do some crazy schmidt, too. At a minimum, I'd contact someone at MIT to engineer a robot that looks, smells, feels, and sounds like me to read “Goodnight Moon” for the 427th time. I might also build my own Target, so that I could wander the hallowed aisles without old ladies trying to touch my newborn’s face and tell me she isn’t wearing enough layers. I mean, with that kind of money - anything is possible.

Maybe I'm just jealous of Beyonce. Or maybe I'm slightly bitter. Maybe because I read so many amazing hooker emails this holiday season from women who are superstars , too.  Who are beautiful and work hard and love their babies so much and want to give them everything. But they can't. Maybe that's why in this one case, instead of wanting to shake my booty when I hear Beyonce's name, I want to shake my head.

Beyonce is awesome and her precious new baby is a miracle of cuteness. But sometimes I think the world forgets that every new mom is awesome and especially that every new baby is a miracle of cuteness, even those that are born into slightly less glamorous settings.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

36 comments:

  1. AMEN....AMEN..... A-FREAKIN'-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

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  2. Just imagine how many hungry people she could have fed if she had donated that money instead of renting an entire hospital floor

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  3. Hellooooooo! If you want "privacy" keep the deets of your nursery and hospital rental to your damn self. I love B, (jay-Z...meh) btw. But still...

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  4. Amen, Sistah!

    And where's the fin in having a baby at the hospital without the ENTIRE EXTENDED family of the Mom and baby in the next bed hangining with you all day? Well, at least they spoke a different language so I could tune it out and couldn't understand any objections to my controlling the TV? ;)

    Mrsborch

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  5. Just think of how many women she could have helped for $1.3 million. That sort of excess sickens me and they should be ashamed.

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  6. her delivery as a former nicu mom pisses me off. the hospital handled it badly kicking all those poor parents out.

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  7. Shouldn't even be legal. This completely symbolizes everything wrong with the healthcare system and society overall. Want a birth that private? Do it at home. I'm sure they have enough money to build a private birthing center even - then donate it to women who can't afford care. Ridiculous.

    On an entirely different note - my roommie when I had my 1st son 8 yrs ago was a GOD SEND! I know they do mostly private rooms now for new moms, but she was a new mommy rock star and I was a hot mess. I will never forget her helping hands and great attitude about my kids constant crying!

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  8. Guru Louise, I love you.

    Two words: HOME. BIRTH. Instead of renting out the floor of the hospital and possibly screwing over other pregnant ladies, wouldn't it have made more sense to hire a doctor to come to you?

    Idiocy.

    Love,
    The Headmistres

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  9. I understand the need for privacy but couldn't they have done just her surrounding rooms with a private security guard like other normal celebs have done-haha All that money wasted- could have gone to those who are in desperate need of a job or food or wounded warriors etc. But happy the baby is healthy.

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  10. At this point everyone is speculating and judging Beyonce off of rumors. She is not nor will she be the 1st and last celebrity to have a baby in a hospital and set up "special" accommodations.

    I am expecting my first in a few weeks and am really excited. But I don't have the added stress of vultures attempting everything they can for the price of a dollar...including nurses, doctors and other hospital staff that so freely roam the hospital halls withva badge that no one pays a lick of attention to trying to snag pics of my only a day or 2 old child.

    And some people might say...she's a celebrity she should expect it, she should get over it or shecshould've had her baby at home BUT she is also human and a 1st time mom as well and should be afforded the same rights to have her baby in a hospital just like anyone else.

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  11. Well not that I disagree with the whole -- wonder what else they could have done with the money and wonder how many other babies could have had good care with the money concept -- but I imagine it would have been a mad zoo up there if they hadn't rented the whole floor. Photographers would have been popping into everybody else's room, bribing new dads, harrassing nurses, spreading nasty germs, charging every baby in a cot, and generally making life miserable (and possibly dangerous) for everybody else up there.
    And it would have been almost impossible to keep them out, they'd have bribed other peoples family members, claimed to be cousins or friends and generally cheated their way in.
    Abigail

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  12. Just imagine all the crazies she managed to protect her new baby from during one of the most private times in a new mom's life by taking security precautions and keeping nutburgers & paps off the floor. She prob *has* fed millions of ppl w/her money which she worked very very hard to earn but I have yet to see hype around charitable giving- Thanks to the Paparazzi & the media for helping us keep our priorities straight! Who are we to manage it for her from afar or be bitter bc we have not? I can think of worse ways to spend your hard-earned dough (hint:look at Corporate America & these lovely politicians who are spending OTHER PEOPLE'S money that they never a finger for)

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  13. Umm why didn't she just go home and rest and relax like normal people do? Sheesh...I'm shaking my head with you...

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  14. I got C-diff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C_diff) at Lenox Hill after my emergency c-section. Just sayin'. If she really wanted to be glamorous, she could have picked a better hospital.

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  15. Ruthie Queen Of All Things ProcrastinationJanuary 9, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    I’ve always admired Beyonce (AKA Force of Nature) and Jay-Z’s success - the "American Dream" - since they came from absolutely nothing, but this excess is sickening - I can’t even think of anything funny to say...

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  16. I agree with others that it's gross excess ... but also that I would be horrified if I were a new mom that had to deal with the zoo created by Beyonce giving birth in the room next door to me - so I'm sure it was in other people's best interest to keep her away from everyone else. Besides, you don't know what kinds of charitable donations she's making. She could be sending all kinds of money to charities, chances are they are if for no other reason than tax reasons!

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  17. Everyone defending her, and especially those saying that she NEEDED to or that she probably does donate - need to look into it more.

    My cousin-by-marraige was denied access to the NICU to see his newborn, preemie twins by the armed thugs Jayz and Beyonce had roaming the hallways.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/blue-beyonce-special-treatment-bed-stuy-dad-jay-z-turned-lenox-hill-private-club-article-1.1002985

    That is wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to describe it and I truly, truly hope that he sues the hospital for allowing that kind of BS.

    She did NOT "have to" Plenty of famous celebrities have babies without hiring thugs to keep other parents away from their children. Plenty of celebrities do common sense things, like going to a PRIVATE hospital that has all the security they want, instead of a PUBLIC one in the middle of a city, where Yes, other people are going to NEED access to Maternity, and especially the NICU.

    Signed Herself, who's little sweet potato was in a NICU for 96 days,and has no tolerance for this disgustingly low-class publicity stunt.

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  18. Well, as I help raise money for a local hospital I have to say this. IF it did not affect other patients care (i.e. it wasn't actually a maternity ward and therefore other moms were turned away OR other patients were not accepted into the hospital because there was "no room", so in essence, it was empty space ANYWAY), then I see it as a good opportunity for the hospital to raise funds. The money can be used to buy much needed equipment, which in turn helps others who use the hospital. HOWEVER, if it DID affect patient care, then seriously, WTF?!?!

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  19. This might sound way out there to most people, but hospitals are places for sick and injured people to go. I can understand having a high risk pregnancy at the hospital, but I believe the best place for a baby to be born is at home. My first was born in a hospital and the only complications were brought on by negligence on the part of the staff (which turned a normal delivery into a high risk one). I had my second child at home (on purpose) and had an incredible experience. It required more education and preparation on my part, but was well worth it to find that we (women) are stronger than we realize.

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  20. Hey, any chance I can borrow that goodnight moon robot?

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  21. I agree with flakymom. I would assume that the hospital can now use all of that money for better equipment or for covering health care for the less fortunate. Angelina Jolie did the same thing in Nambibia when Shiloh was born and she was hailed for it. Hospitals are frequently stuck with unpaid bills for homeless so, if this helps them, then all the better. As long as no one who needed care while she was there was turned away, then I think it probably all worked out well

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  22. Well, I for one don't really care how they spend their money - I certainly don't want anyone telling me how to spend mine - BUT if it's true that it negatively impacted others at the hospital, that's all bad. They certainly could have spent just as much, if not more, buildng a small hospital wing at their own place for privacy...without impacting other parents.

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  23. I must say I am appalled by the comments here. It was my belief that this blog was about laughing off the craziness of motherhood, and supporting other mothers no matter who they are or where they are from. Just like the rest of us, these people are just trying to do what's best for their family. Who are you to be so negative and judgemental??

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  24. I always loved Beyonce but this whole delivery thing has turned me off to her. Do you know there are families of NICU children who cannot go in and out to see their babes as they want because of Beyonce's security. That is completely ridiculous and out of line.

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  25. Nothing to see here ... please move on.

    Instead of focusing on the one-time excesses of a couple of pop culture distractions, we could be examining the decline in US healthcare as a whole as mothers and children in this country suffer to obtain services. Celebrities serve a very useful purpose; they are a distraction and to many, role models for a consumptive lifestyle that worships glitzy shallowness and judges the poor harshly. These hip pop stars have little power and wealth compared to the oligarchs and plutocrats who are firmly in charge of things. Check out the Forbes lists and you'll find nary one silly singer as you make your way through the multiples of Mars, Waltons, Koch and other elites.

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  26. Question: If her baby was due in February, as I have read, then was this a "planned" c-section? Not ok if it was. Babies need to cook longer than that!

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  27. Wow! I am amazed at the judgmental and negative comments. No one knows why she had to deliver at that particular hospital (c-section, doctor advised her not to deliver at home) and then suggesting how she should use her hard earned money is ridiculous. If one did their research they would know she does give back but is she supposed to give every dime of her money? I wonder how many people that are complaining actually give back or donate. I would hope the hospital would not turn others away or treat other patients differently but if they did it is the hospital not Beyonce and Jay Z. If you all had people trying to sneak back and take pics of your baby you would want privacy as well at any cost. She is protecting her child from something you all don't know anything about since I am sure crazy photographers are not following you at all times. And the fact that you all are so up in arms about someone else's life proves that you need a life of your own. Sad how people attack other people for the way they live their lives. People just want a reason to complain. Can we say adult bullying? Sad that some of you are someone's mother. Geesh!!

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  28. Let's hope that hospital invests the $ 1.3 million in improving maternal and newborn care in their facility!! That's the least they could do!

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  29. The story is it wasn't a planned csection, and they have issued a statement that says she was born "naturally"

    I imagine so Beyonce will never be able to put rumors to rest by showing her c section scar ;)

    The blind items called this months ago, that her surrogate would have a c section, but claim Beyonce to deliver naturally.

    Also expect her to be wildly successful at breastfeeding and getting her body back. I imagine she will be in a bikini looking down at the rest of us disapprovingly from the cover of a major magazine in mere weeks.

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  30. Blue Ivy is the best superhero name I've heard in a long time. Someone get that baby a cape!

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  31. No 1, with HIPPA, her privacy is already protected.
    No 2, most of maternity units are very well protected to avoid babies being stolen, I am sure that hospital has similar measures and no strangers are allowed to the unit other than fathers and close family/friends. And those can be kept by private securities...
    RIDICULOUS!!

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  32. I've had enough of single ladies to last me a life time.... I have 3 children and they were witness at my wedding... My middle child who can barely form sentences keeps saying "he put a ring on it" So every time she sees my left hand and asks me that i get that song stuck in my head

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  33. For those that are saying that she has a right to this and that and to not judge her because of her decision:
    My son has been in the NICU his whole life, all 92 days. If I wasn't allowed in to see him because of a celebrity delivery, I would go ape schmidt on the poor sucker who was unlucky enough to be on shift at the NICU door. No security guard is a match for these mama bear claws.

    But seriously, barring access to other parents when their child is sick because they wanted privacy? Consider this, our NICU asked all parents to leave one night last week, because one of the babies was being taken off life support and they wanted to give her and her parents privacy while they held her in her final moments. That's the kind of situation that's going on behind those NICU doors, and that's the kind of situation that deserves privacy. Don't you dare mess with that.

    It truly sickened me when I read this post.

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  34. Ky G... You're right about one thing: she does have a right to have a baby in a hospital LIKE. EVERYONE. ELSE. You want something special... Go for it in your own space. You want what everyone else gets... Then take it as is.

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  35. if anyone was not allowed in the ICU to see their baby, that was on the hospital, not Beyonce. And who are any of you to tell another mother what she should do with her money. that's like someone saying i should buy my kid walmart shoes instead of nikes, of course on a way smaller scale. if i had her money I would do the same. There's nothing I wouldn't do (within my means) to protect my kid and to give her whatever I feel she should have. When the baby was 1st born it was released the baby was born via c-section (MAYBE 1 reason she couldn't have her at home). also there were RUMORS that a surrogate, not Beyonce, was carrying the child and she would fake give birth at home. just another reason she may have opted a hospital birth. i think we as women and mothers should stop poo-pooing other mothers. you don't know how much they gsve to charities so why can't they give their baby the world when they have it?

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