Monday, January 2, 2012

Don't Ask Your Kids About: New Years Resolutions

Last week I made the mistake of asking about my young children about New Years Resolutions. Specifically, what mine should be. It was sort of like that time when I asked them "What's rule #1?" or "What has mommy taught you?" and their answers made me want to chortle and then cry. That's right - It made me want to want to chortlecry.

So I told Kate and Guru Luise to please ask their kids to see if the results would be equally horrifying. And here are the collective answers to the question - What should mommy pick as her New Years resolutions this year?

10. [Looks around to make sure he is far enough away from me that I can't grab him] Maybe you should exercise more?

9. You could try be a little nicer. You know, like how you are to the puppy?

8. I really think you need to start reading more books because sometimes you don't know all the words in them.

7. I think you should consider paying us. To be your kids. What's that called again? Oh yes. Allowance.

6. Maybe not eat my Halloween candy? You're supposed to ask first, mommy.

5. Make pancakes better. Also, you're not very good at pitching.

4. Never yelling ever again. [When I emphatically agreed that no one in the house should yell anymore, the children promptly looked horrified and said:] No - not us. YOU.

3. Could you maybe not always spill stuff on yourself when we're out? [Facepalm.]

2. You should try really hard to cook more things that taste good.

1. Sigh... There's just so many.

That's right. These answers
got the Maude Face.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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