Wednesday, January 4, 2012

One Example of How Men and Women Are Very Different

I've been meaning to tell you this story for ages. I know how much you all enjoy reading about me doing something stupid. I like this story for several reasons:

1) I demonstrate how weird I am.
2) The Cap'n says something fairly straightforward but does so in such a manner as to trigger an episode of Raging B.
3) It shows how there are moments when men and women barely speak the same language.

So here's what happened:

[The Cap'n comes home from work to me cooking dinner and kids running around like unmedicated, rabid squirrels.]

Cap'n: “HOLY CROW – what’s that smell?!”
Lydia: “Your dinner. And that’s an extremely rude and disrespectful thing to say to me as you walk in the door.”
Cap'n: “What are you talking about? It smells like a turd in here. I’m not making an editorial comment about your cooking. It literally smells like pooh in this house.”
Lydia: “Do you have any idea what it’s been like here for the past two hours? Your kids are insane and the dog knocked over the TV and I have a deadline tomorrow. I do NOT need you walking in here at the 11th hour to tell me the house is disgusting and your dinner is gross.”
Cap'n: “There’s a poopy diaper in the trash right here. A really big one.” [points to a trashcan about twelve inches from me, where sure enough an extremely ripe diaper is sitting right on top.] “Would you like me to take it out? It’s like a grown man did this.”
Lydia: “Ummmm… Yes.”

How did I not smell it? I have no idea. I imagine the people who work in the monkey house at the zoo have the same problem. Why didn't the Cap'n at least say hello before he complained that it was so stinky, probably because the aroma was too powerful for him to think any other thoughts.

This is part of a post I did for Babble called "7 Things I Wish I Knew About Men Before I Got Married."  If you would like to read the other 6 things, they're right here.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2011

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