Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Island of Misnamed Toys

Lydia here. I made a little movie for you about my precious little cupcake of a three year old.

As many of you may already know, my youngest child is pretty awesome. She gets into scrapes and makes messes and climbs like a monkey and does other naughty things. I also knew that when she turned three, that she could prove my theory that 3 is worse than 2 beyond any reasonable doubt.

But I know that none of this is unusual.

But there is one thing that she does that is pretty strange. She names things. Example: there's a birdfeeder outside our kitchen window and the name of the little gray bird who comes to eat there is Hori-Nori. How sweet. Don't worry the sweetness ends here.

She has also named her toys. And those names are pretty special. Let's meet them, shall we?




xo, Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

152 comments:

  1. That is honestly the funniest effing thing I have ever seen!

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  2. I think our daughters must share a brain. Mine has a pair of stuffed kittens - Chop and Treebranch.

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  3. I have tears! My favorite are Dick and Prick. And I totally understand about the cat. We have one of those asshole cats, too. Luckily, he's mellowed in his old age. Either that, or he's had a small stroke and just doesn't give a F--K anymore. Maybe your cat looks forward to his own small stroke. And, ahem, Lydia...she's an evil genious? I believe the apple didn't fall to far from THAT tree, darlin'.

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  4. HAHAHAHA
    I had to pause after Horny. I am dying. No. I'm dead.

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  5. that was fanorgasmatanigorical

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  6. I'm dying. Your cupcake is going to win professional awards someday. For what? Being AWESOME.

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  7. She is brilliant. I read somewhere that having an invisible friend is a sign that a child has lots of creativity and will be really smart. This isn't completely accurate in our house, since my now seven year old had an imaginary friend named Checker B who was supposedly a moose and lived on the end of his thumb. The kid doesn't seem especially creative anymore, although I guess he is pretty smart. My little guy is four and he never had an imaginary friend, but he shows far more creativity and is an incredibly convincing liar (yes, I'm so proud). He is my little Ding Dong baked by Satan.

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  8. It is possible that coffee just came out of my nose!

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    1. Also! Nearly fell off my chair laughing!

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    2. Hahaha, love Dick and Prick. My little girl named her stuffed sheep "Balloon Lips"

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  9. And Im dead... Loved loved loved it!

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  10. I made the mistake of trying to sneak in one more bite of food while the video was starting. I choked on my waffle at "Horny".

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  11. WHEN am I going to learn not to read RFM while nursing??? I always scare the baby with my failed attempts at suppressed snorting!!

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    1. Me too, me too! But I just burst out laughing and once she gets over being startled she joins right in. Neither of us can focus on nursing very well now.

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  12. That is so freaking awesome. Now we know where you get your sense of humor! BTW- Crack Rabbit is my favorite. And my new term for the moms I hate at the at the soccer foeld. As in "WHy would that woman wear stilletos to the soccer field? Obviously she's a Crack Rabbit". Thank you Cupcake!!

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  13. Tears. Of Laughter. At work. :) Loved this! Oh, and I have that cat too. She is known in our house as "Mommy's Mean Cat".

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  14. I can totally relate to the whole going to the Christian Preschool and telling them horrifying things! When my husband lost his job a couple of years ago, our daughter went to school and told them that "Daddy got fired for saying bad words at work!" FAIL!!! Oh and did I mention that we attend the church attached to that preschool? Yes, awesome I know!

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  15. Holy poop, I am still teary eyed, and laughing! And then my two year old came up and started laughing and crying, because i was...

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  16. Our three year old likes to rhyme and name things. Her favorite baby doll is Annie, so the rest of her baby dolls rhyme with Annie. Our favorites are Tranny and Fanny:-)

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  17. I have got to stop reading RFM after we start school(homeschooling)and while drinking coffee! I try to hold the laughter in but my eyes start watering and the tiniest burst slips out and my son wants to know what's so funny. "Uh, just my, uh, the thing, uh...get back to work." And is there anything worse than that "can't get the coffee down but don't want to spit it all over the laptop or shoot it out my nose" feeling?

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  18. I just died.....OMG crack rabbit LOVE IT!! As the mother to my own sassy frassy and probably also criminally insane 3 year old....thank you cupcake!!!

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  19. So I just got to work, read your post, pulled up the vid and have been sitting here laughing out loud with tears streaming down my face. You two were made for each other. She is hilarious. THANK YOU for making my day and for sharing.
    xoxo,
    Zoe

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  20. I literally lol! So funny!

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  21. Oh yes... I completely understand. My 2 1/2 yr old son JUST gave me all the names of his beloved "animal friends", as he calls them. He has a small blue bear named Pork. "Why?" Because "he likes to eat pork" according to Oscar. They all sort of follow the same silly naming process :)

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  22. I have a daughter turning three and I have been saying how much easier things are going to get and better she will be!! I just watched this and laughed all the way through!! My daughter is standing next to me saying, "watch again? watch again? watch again? watch again?" LOL
    Guess we are watching again :) Oh best part? She just stuck her hand down my shirt and said, "I love your boobs" while I was typing this... I haven't nursed her since she was 18 months LOL... I love being a mom.. Kids say the silliest things

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  23. My genius child is now 7 and does exactly the same thing - name all her toys, that is. No strange names unless you count completely made-up names like Loloya and Katrinila. She has only one Barbie - that's because the other eleventy-million of them are named different names AND SHE REMEMBERS ALL OF THEM!!!! We have Eve, Precious, Kat, Princess, Twyla, Leann, and so on and so on. All of her millions of stuffed animals also have names - mostly human names but there are a few Cuddles and Blackies in the lot as well.

    I'm going with what MusicClassMamma said about imaginary friends showing that your child is a genius. I think my daughter has as many of those as she does Barbies. Excuse me ... Eve, Precious, Kat, .........

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  24. seriously in tears from laughter! needed to see this on this dreary wednesday morning before work! :) Aimee

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  25. Welcome to the Thermonuclear Threes! And I LOVE the montage...my (almost...we can make it...19 days and counting) four year old son thought Prick and Dick shouldn't be in the bed together. I'm not sure where his intolerance came from, but he wanted me to tell you that. His Gay aunties will probably never speak to me again if they figure out this is me posting this. Sigh...Four is better, right? RIGHT????

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  26. That is so awesome, you've made my day! Love the Diego comment, can totally relate!!! Thanks for making us laugh every single day!

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  27. I'm in tears. Soo needed to laugh out loud this morning, thanks! BTW your daughter has a lot of toys, no?

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  28. Trying so hard not to laugh out loud as I watched your video in stealth mode at work with my headphones on. Evil genius indeed. (We also have an old cat that my son calls 'old man cat'.)

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  29. When my son was three, he won a stuffed peacock from the claw machine at a pizza place. He named it Rainbow Pop-Tart. He is 11 now, and Rainbow Pop-Tart still has a place of honor in his room. :)

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  30. My cupcake is now almost 13...we've always said she could be headed to either Yale or jail, one never knows!

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  31. I'm dying laughing because Cupcake and my Lilly (age 5) would totally be besties. If they ever meet, they'll take over the world together. And it will be awesome, and terrifying.

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  32. Thanks for making my morning :)
    Damn it is a popular one in my house too

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  33. Bahahahaha! This is so awesome. "Please don't bring your Nutsak to church" cracks me up so much!

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  34. Poof! And just like that I don't feel as bad that the tooth fairy forgot to pick up my oldest child's tooth last night and leave any Washington's behind. Your child is funny, bordering on crazy, bordering on genius, bordering on insane...and you're an awesome mom! Thanks for sharing! :-)

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  35. That was hilarious! My three year old is currently pretending to put butter in my coffee ... three is a very special age, I'm learning.

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  36. So wonderful to know I am not alone with my Little Miss Adventure. She has some imaginary friends. Peter who beats her up, and pees in the sink and gets in trouble for doing ...(usually something she has gotten in trouble for recently!), Jackson and Tony (friends in her big brother's class that have now become her friends). She has just recently started asking me to take her to her school, which is next to her birthday and where she has Football/Baseball. She has started asking me to take her there every dang day. Her brother takes soccer at his school so I have no idea where she got the Football or Baseball.
    We also have 2 very old cats. They are not mean, but she can be loving to them when someone (me) is watching. If I am not watching her with them, she beats on them, screams in their face or tries to force feed them their food. They either lay there and take it or run away and hide. Then she asks me why they run from her and hide under the bed, when she just wants to play with them. That gets a big eye-roll and explanation from me about being nice.
    She also likes to clean with her diaper wipes and desitin, when she is able to get to them (ie, when Mommy forgets to put them up where she cannot reach or climb).
    She sure does keep us on our toes. But with her imagination and determination I sure hope that mean she will go far as she gets older.
    She is not imaginative with naming her toys though. She has Harley Bear (gotten from a Harley store), Purple bear, Pink bear, Woof Woof, Harley Dog...

    Jrseygirl in VA

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  37. Omigosh, I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard!

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  38. So. Stinkin. Funny. Cupcake, you are awesome, and I'm going to need to send my two year old to hang out with you so your creativity can rub off on her. She names her animals very literally. We have animals like Cat, Dog, Horse, Rabbit...what happens if you have two dogs, just add a color to the beginning...Pink Dog, White Dog, Black Dog... Oh yes, I suppose she's going to be left brained like her mommy.

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    1. We have two brown stuffed dogs. Of course they are Brown Dog 1 and Brown Dog 2, usually abbreviated to Brown 1 and Brown 2. He figured this out on his own.

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  39. My daughter (3-years-old) loves to rhyme words, so the other day she brought out a stuffed duck. "Hi, Mom, this is my ducky, his name is F**ky." I about died laughing and then had to tell her that maybe we should name him Plucky instead.

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  40. I have had a bit of a rough morning with very little sleep last night and this totally made my day better!

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  41. That was awesome. My two and a half year old son carries around a pink horse named princess and he recently picked out a mini pillow pet the purple unicorn guess what her name is...... Princess' mommy.

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  42. My three year-old son called his newborn baby sister Phallus for a few weeks. As in "Mommy, Phallus is crying." Or, (to old ladies at church), "My Phallus is so small, but I love her." This was also about the time that he mistook plastic-wrapped tampons for suckers, but that's another story...

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    1. ha ha! is her name really phyllis, or was it just a random thing he called her? my daughter used to think maxi pads were baby doll diapers... she found one and peeled off the backing and stuck it between a doll's legs...

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    2. Nope, not even close. Never did figure out what he was trying to say.

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  43. Unfortunately, conversations at our house haven't gotten much better even though he's seven now. http://www.momintwocultures.com/2011/10/conversations-we-have-at-our-house.html

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  44. Hysterical! My just turned 4 year old (for the love of all that is holy let 4 be better than 3!) doesn't name any of his toys. In fact, he named his goldfish Herman almost two years ago and he often calls him so other random name...

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  45. Hilarious!!!! I will probably watch it one or ten more times.

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  46. Too funny! I thought my son was a bit off when he got a sock monkey for his 2nd birthday and named him Moo, but that was trumped when he got a teddy bear for Christmas this year (he's 4 now)and wanted to name him Oatmeal. He finally changed it to Frosty, thank heaven, since I can imagine trying to get dried oatmeal off the carpet in his room ("Honey, if you're one eating, take Oatmeal up to your bed and then wash your hands").

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  47. She is definitely a genius! She will be one creative and funny lady when she grows up!

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  48. That. Was. AWESOME!!! I almost pee'd when I saw Crack Rabbit. :) And when you have to tell her not to bring her Nutsak to church. Too funny!!!

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  49. oh my, that made my day! So. funny. Oh, and NO doubt three is worse than two. My 3 year old will be 4 in a month...please, please, please, let 4 be better than 3!!

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  50. This should have come with a warning to not watch at work unless you have the ability to close the office door! I could barely contain my laughter! Best thing I've seen all week! My 6 year old has a Baby Jaguar too, thanks to F*#@ing Diego, and between her and my 3 year old, we have two FAMILIES of pillow pets. Oh, and Curious George, as well as a George's Mommy. There's barely enough room on their beds for them to sleep with all the mandatory dolls and animals. Thanks, Lydia!

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  51. my daughter named everything too. our house sally because she was blue. she also had a hand full of imaginary friends that were all animals and she could hold them all in her hand. there were her little friends. I sadly do not remember all their names but there were six. two lions, two spiders and two bugs. they would run all over the place.

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  52. I'm laughing so hard I think I just pee'd myself. My post-partum bladder control ain't what it used to be.

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  53. I had to muffle laughter since my husband is still in bed. OMG BEST THING EVER

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  54. When I read about Horny the Horse, I darn near died...lol! Methinks Mama had said more then she thinks! Little rabbits (even CrackRabbits) have big ears yanno....

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  55. I can see the future boyfriends my daughter will bring home in how she names things....Her teddy bear is Spider, her kitty is Snake, her dogs are Spike, Monster and Smooky (how she says spooky). And the household imaginary friend - passed down from my oldest to both sisters - Sinker. A boy that can grow at will but is generally about 3 feet tall and has a bathroom sink in his torso. Whenever anything is missing or broken or mysteriously shuts down, Sinker did it.

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  56. That is the best video in the history of ever. I have two kids (4 and 2) so I can totally sympathize where you are coming from.

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  57. When Dick and Prick popped up I was taking a drink, now I have to clean off my laptop cause I spit on it. Funniest thing EVER!!!

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  58. Oh lort, that was funny! I can just see you saying "Did you leave your Nutsak in the car again??" lol

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  59. Never read RFM while drinking coffee is a rule of mine... Now I have to add to not watch RFM videos before visiting the little girls room...

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  60. Oh my goodness. This is just too good. I love Nutsak. That's just awesome. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why my kids haven't named something Damnit. Thank you Lord. ;) My son does have invisible friends, though, they're rats. He calls them, interestingly enough, 'My Invisible Rats'. We take them with us sometimes, to the grocery store, "Mom, don't forget my invisible rats are in the cart with me, don't squish them." There are about 100 of them. My daughter once had a doll named "Baby of My Baby'. No idea where that came from. But that was her name. "Mom? Where's Baby of My Baby?" I know. At the next birthday she got another baby that looked very much like Baby of My Baby. What's her name? Baby of My Baby Too. "Mom, when you tuck me in, don't for get to kiss me, and Baby of My Baby, oh, and Baby of My Baby Too, too."

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  61. I am so glad I read the comments first and waited until I left my office to pump so I could laugh and snort in private!

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  62. OMFG, your little cupcake baked by the devil is an evil genius! I am so glad I was done drinking my coffee for the morning b/c I would've spit it out my nose about 10 times! Best. Post. Ever. Literally ROFLMFAO! :)

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  63. soooo fricking hilarious!!! tears streaming down my face, laughing so hard!

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  64. I am laughing so hard at this moment, with sore stomach muscles and tears in my eyes.

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  65. I haven't laughed tis hard for a long time. I can so see my daughter doing this...might be a good thing I don't always understand what she is saying. Thanks for the laugh!!!

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  66. My darling cupcake has a brother and sister named "Goo-Goo" and "Gaa-Gaa", and they live at the Gooey Geyser. Thanks Dora.

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  67. Let's hope she doesn't call Baby Jaguar by his initials.

    wait for it ....

    waaaaait for it .......

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  68. There are times I wish my kids named things more creatively. We have Mr. Turtleman (who is a naked turtle because he doesn't like wearing his shell), Softie, the very soft cat, Blue-y the blue unicorn, and Unicorn-y the rainbow unicorn. However, I'm a little glad they aren't quite this creative LOL

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  69. My daughter has a small aquarium with a fish and a snail. The snail's name is "Speedy" and the fish is "Mrs. Speedy".... but DO NOT make the mistake of calling them Mr. and Mrs. Speedy! (duh, fishes can't marry snails, mom!) Love this post!

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  70. I am not entirely sure I've ever laughed so hard. And I really needed that today. Thanks you your sweet little cupcake. this just made my no good very bad awful day much much better.

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  71. That is absolutely hilarious. Love it.

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  72. Oh I love it! Especially Dick and Prick!

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  73. We've been stressed to the max around here lately, and this gave me a much needed laugh. Thank you for making my day.

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  74. That's wonderful, my 6mo loves our kitten (who predates the six month old by four months) I suspect the feeling is mutual because the other day I left the room, came back into find 6mo trying to eat the cat, cat swatting the 6mo, claws retracted (!) while my son looks at my poor cat going "What's wrong I just wanna eat youuuuu,your so fluffy"

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  75. thank you. i laughed until i cried, and as the mother of a 2.5 year old terror (it seems as if we might be related for the sheer demonic genes that our daughters have-- perhaps we should blame it on our husbands, instead) who is experiencing 'quiet time' (nice euphemism, that-- more like 'mommy's sanity maintenance time') right now, i *really* needed that. is it 6pm yet? where's my glass of wine?

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  76. ROFL. The cat thing is especially hilarious. My neice has renamed their cat several times. My two favourite names for the cat so far: "Baby Jesus" and, most recently, "Michael Jackson." I took great joy in using the cat's new name the last time I was there. "I think you need to feed Michael Jackson, he seems hungry." "Aw, Michael Jackson wants to come inside, he looks lonely..."

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  77. LAughing so hard, husband came up to see; started vid over so that he could laugh, too. Oh. Dear. Laughing. So. Hard!

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  78. I empathise. My then-three year old had a dolly named Vulva.

    She liked introducing her to old ladies at the supermarket.

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  79. OMG...that is too much!
    My oldest has an elephant named "loud bear" and my youngest named his webkinz after mario characters so we have an owl named "toad"....he is a favorite along with the blue jay named B-Jay...

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  80. Love it! My girls are the literal type....we have 4 stuffed zebras names "Stripey". Also, my blue van is "Bluey" and my husband's blue car is "Bluey 2".

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  81. This was hilarious. I have a four year old and her names are not so interesting. I can't imagine not laughing about some of those names. I think you have a future writer or actress or President on your hands!

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  82. My son has an imaginary friend called Honky the Circus Toonk. F**k knows what he is exactly but I always picture the clown from Stephen King's 'It'. Urgh.

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  83. I don't know how to spell my son's babydoll's name...it sounds something like "VARRR" in a kind of death-metal growl voice. He is very consistent when asked what her name is and I have no idea where it came from!

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  84. That's hilarious...What was the song?

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  85. *standing ovation* I LOVE THAT!! Thank you for making my day. :)

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  86. Omg! I have tears! Best video ever!

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  87. Awesome video! Now that is terribly funny. She sounds like she is incredibly smart, and loves to shock people..hahahahaha Just wait..the older she gets, it will probably get alot more creative :-D

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  88. Lost it laughing on a few of these, but apparently I repeat things that I find exceptionally funny. I know this because my own three year old just said "Nutsack". Oops.

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  89. Love it! Lol...I bought my son a Pet Rock (mostly a dig at my husband, who is adamantly anti-pet) when he was about four. I honestly didn't think he would be taken with it...Mama was so wrong! He loved that rock soooo much, he named it. He named it for the hairline crack running up the middle...Yes ladies, Crack Rock....hahahaha...Especially funny when my new, super-gullible neighbor dropped by and my son says to her son..."You want to see my Crack Rock? My mom bought it for me...I hide it at night so my daddy won't steal it because he looooves Crack Rock..." That woman's face was one for the books! Hilarious....love all of you hookers :)

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  90. Love It! Especially about the public speaking of inappropriate words. My son is the king of inappropriate, but my sis told me my niece yelled (in Target, of course), "Look at that big Woody Mommy!" Love the Horny Horse. So glad my friend shared this.

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  91. you know, i'm relieved that somebody else's kid does this... my oldest used to play with language a lot around the ages of 3-5. she probably said every cuss word just by making up nonsense rhymes ("itty bitty shitty," for instance. She also called the members of the band Tonic "yum-yum," fortunately not to their faces... and you know that song "Apples and Bananas" where they change up the vowel sounds, "I like to eat, eat, eat, eepples and baneenees." She used to sing, "I like to ip, ip, ip, nipples and banuh-nuhs" (nuh-nuhs being her little sister's word for nursing). I often was embarrassed and hoped people didn't really think I'd taught her these things. "Crack Rabbit" is my favorite one ha ha... my daughter also once abbreviated "crackers" to "crack," as in, "Mommy, I want some more crack!"

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  92. hysterical, laughing so hard I freaked my dog out! Also my daughter loves that song mommy I wanna hear kids song or mommy sing kids, mommy louder.

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  93. Awesome. If it makes you feel any better, my little girl has been naming her poops (after family members and friends, of course) since she started going on the toilet.

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  94. I.LOVE.YOUR.DAUGHTER. - Awesome! Mine is 7 now, but I do remember some of the toy's names she came up with at 3 ...

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  95. My little girl (just turned 4) is fairly literal with naming too, so we have Bunny, Donkey, etc.etc. but the funny thing i've noticed is, in her world, everything is sentient - she talks to the car when he comes to pick her up from nursery and thanks him for keeping her warm and dry and driving her home. That video was so funny tho - I've just had abdominal surgery and omg it was so hard trying not to rip myself in half laughing :P

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  96. Omygoodness. I can't stop laughing. That was SO AWESOME!

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  97. My 3 year old son named a new teddy bear Bill. I was curious where he came up with Bill, because it's so NORMAL. I mean, he has a stuffed dragon named Mr. Fluffy Pants. Anyway, his name is Bill the Bear. Because he came from Build A Bear Workshop. Or, as my son calls it, "Bill Da Bear". Hence, Bill The Bear. :)

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  98. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! That was AWESOME!! Thank you so much!!!

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  99. Oh Lydia. I heart you.

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  100. I just remembered that my daughter had a stuffed Piglet when she was 2, and she called him "Piglet Me," because of the note that Piglet wrote in the story of the blustery day that says, "Help! Piglet (me)." He later became Piglet Me Plip Ditz, and later Piglet Me Plop. Don't know why. She also had an imaginary friend (pronounced "majiNARy friend") named Watch, but she never told us what he was... at one time he was "a piece of furniture," and later he was "nothing, because he's in jail." The mice from Kevin Henkes books were also her 'majiNARy friends and would come places with her... My other daughter named her stuffed Chick-fil-A cows Pooey and Squashy. Oh, and the oldest named our chickens Eat, Mor, and Chiken, like what the Chick-fil-A cows write. The fourth chicken was just named Sally, lol.
    I love hearing all the silly and sometimes inappropriate things that kids name their toys!!

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  101. Priceless....thank you for making a grandmother laugh till she cried......

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  102. That. Was. AWESOME.

    The End.

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  103. We also have a "Horny" at our house. My daughter got a toy unicorn and was thinking up names that fit (Harry, Whitey, the usual) and settled on "Horny" just in time to go tell her Sunday School teacher about it. I did finally get her to change the name to "Bob".

    Thanks for the laughs. =)

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  104. This is one of my favorites!! Still Laughing!!

    I too have a cupcake baked by the devil and she is 2. There is a reason God gave her to me last because otherwise she would be an only. She has a puppy named "HA HA"- which sounds very similar to "Who HA" when she says it. So I end up saying things like "Get your HaHa and go to bed." She has a horse named "Juice" which is very confusing when she is throwing a tantrum for "MY JUICE! MY JUICE!!"" as I hand her the drippycup full of juice.. a small beanie baby pig named "my pig", a singing dog named "Biolet", a kitty called "Titty" and three blankies. Somehow in the middle of the night she manages to bring HaHa, Juice, Biolet, My Pig, Titty and three blankies and occasionally a few xtra pillows from her room to our bed. I know she makes more than one trip.

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  105. You have no idea how hard it is to silently laugh hard enough that you cry because you work in a cubicle with a bunch of Army dudes. This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

    You guys are my heros.

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  106. Almost peed myself while reading this. My 3 year old has a stuffed triceratops named "Horny" and used to yell at night that he wanted "horny in my bed!!". The best was when Horny fell onto the car floor while we were driving somewhere and i had to listen to him ask me to "get Horny for me Mom!!!". Omg. He also has a dog named Guy and my daughter's favorite animal is a cow named Mommy Moo (um, thanks?)
    Crack Rabbit and Nutsack were my favorites. :)

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  107. This is going on my list of cheer up videos. Fracking awesome!!!!

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  108. OMGoodness...Can't stop laughing....must stop laughing...

    With our 3 YO DD we have a Panda Pillow pet named Snowflake and a imaginary friend name Lanie that has gray hair and is from Laos. Yes, Laos. Also the BEST friend is Bubble Blankie. Bubble is female. If you happen to call her an it.....you are dead to Little.

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  109. My 5yo had an imaginary drug dealer named Mr. Wonky. She said he sold silly pills, but gave her the first batch for free.

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  110. I didn't think anything could be as funny as that video, and then I read the comment about "Honky the Circus Toonk" and completely lost my marbles.

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  111. My nephew thought one of Santa's reindeer was named "Prickster". We still use that name in the song.

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  112. This was awesome! Totally made my day!

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  113. My 3 year old has a cabbage patch doll damed Louie. Louie is a black girl with pigtails. :)

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  114. Best.Video.Ever!!
    My adorable little devil spawn aren't so creative with their naming (new bear, old bear, wittle(little) monkey, etc.) but I do laugh inside a little bit every time my 3yo asks for his "Monkey George". Only because I think of Boy George when he says it! The only other incident I can think of was when I had a 2yo and a newborn, and I sat the 2yo down in front of a bowl of oatmeal and went into the other room. I heard him yelling "No no no!! Oh, no. Mommy, my bear is all messy!" Turns out he had tried to feed oatmeal to bear and bear got oatmeal all over himself.

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  115. I am so glad I am not alone! lol Our car is even named.... yep. And that kinda freaks people out.

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  116. The video can not be watched in Germany because of the Music you used :-(

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    Replies
    1. foster the people, and they are awesome!

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  117. By Far my favorite video of all time!!

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  118. I discovered Foster the People on this video. (I live under a rock, with 2 sticky children, and a tall guy that wears a cape. Anyways.) Fucking awesome. And I mean that.
    Any other similarly awesome music suggestions? You can forward them to my rock.

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  119. Still laughing! Would it make you feel better if I told you that my older brother has a friend with a REAL dog named Damnit? And this took me back to a morning where my boys (4 & 6 maybe?) were waiting for mom to get ready to take them to school, and I hear the oldest helping the little one with a rhyming game. The word they used was "Truck", and you go down the alphabet, starting with each letter.... Needless to say mommy wrote a preemptove note to the preschool teacher explaining how he may say the F word and the reason why. She sent home a note saying it wouldn't be the first kid! lol

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  120. We have a sweet little stuffed bunny named Cock.

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  121. Hilarious!!! My older daughter used to have a stuffed animals named Kumpsum, Barack Obama, Cottontail, and Reemp. My youngest had about 10 baby dolls, all of whom were named Peach, and one named Peachey. you could get in BIG trouble for accidentally confusing a Peach with Peachy. One of my girls also had an imaginary skeleton named Erner. Sometimes he was her actual skeleton, and sometimes he lived in her skull with his family.

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  122. Oh My GAWD! I just choked on my cereal. That was so damn funny. Thanks for making that video. I shared it on my FB wall. You hookers are hilarious! Keep it up.

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  123. If you, in fact, have not used most of those terms yourself, please consider finding out where your child is learning them. If it is from you, then no worries, but with such a consistent theme, I would be concerned as a parent if she spends time in a setting outside of your control. While you may not be prompting her, generally 3 year old kids do not randomly make up that many names that consistently sound like sexual terms unless they are running into those terms or ideas.

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  124. My daughter Rowan was unable to pronounce her own name until she was four. The closest she could get was Onan...which required some explaining to her (Baptist) preschool teacher. She quickly learned that she didn't get any sympathy from me after she suffered the inevitable consequence of pulling one of her aunt's cat's tail. Rowan (displaying a scratch on her arm, pouting): "Aunt Dee's kitty scratched me!" Me: "Did you do anything to Aunt Dee's kitty first?" Rowan (a little defensively) "I pulled her tail." Me: "Well, what did you EXPECT her to do?" Rowan's 23 now, with both a husband and a cat of her own. Enjoy your little devils food cupcake while you can! (I have a "Big Pillow Pet" of my own whom I named Violet despite her being lavender because I just like Violet better! lol)

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  125. Hilarious! When we asked my then 2 yo what we should name his little brother he matter-of-factly said, "Cacabeena." We have no idea what this word is supposed to be or where it came from...but he aparently has named other things Cacabeena, too because he asks for his "little Cacabeena" all the time.

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  126. Thank you! I haven't laughed so hard that it was actually silent in a long, long time.

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  127. Also, I had a small baby doll that I named "General Lee" after the car in The Dukes of Hazzard.

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  128. Ooohhhhh!! Let me wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes - that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen! I'm now following you, cuz I have a feeling I can learn a lot about my (maybe not so diabolical) almost three year old!

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  129. And here I thought all the animals named pinky, bluie, blackie, etc were bad in my house. Boy was I wrong. Gotta say, Dick & Prick are both the winners in my book... but nothing beats Horny the Big Black Horse. You = awesome.

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  130. Thats really funny.
    But count yourself lucky your not living in sweden and have a 3 year old (boy or girl) say that.
    If see had said that in preschool (especially any religious preschool) there is a very higa risk that you would have the police come drag parents and all children away the same day.
    Then leave the kids at social security and parents in jail for about a week at least.
    Then if your very lucky you could see your kids for 15min a week supervised (but that is higly unlikely) and you have to really fight to get the kids back and probably for more then 6months up to 2-3 years.

    There was a case here a while ago when a 4-5year old girl told the teacher at preschool that se touched her fathers penis in bed this morning.
    She came running in jumped in the bed waking them up and happend to set the knee right in the jewels when se landed which did hurt a lot for him and he told her not to do that again because it hurts.
    Then it was "over" until police came to both parents worked 3 hours later draged them to jail for 3months where they did get a total lockdown meaning no outside contact at all meaning no tv,no radio,no magasines,no papers,no internet they could only talk to the lawyer and police.

    After 3 months they get released whitout charge and free off all charges but now came the hard time.
    For 4 months after the release they never even known where the 2 children was no relatives had seen them or known anything eihter even that police had said that the womens parents had them for the time being but the parents only found out what happend after they contacted the workplace of the women (after they had gone to the police claimming they where missing and got no answer from the police).

    After 4months they where told where they were (the other side of the country about 600miles away) and after another 3 months they finally got 15min of supervised visit after they drove all that way.
    4 months later (again) the next visit this time for an hour but still supervised.
    2 months after that they get a phone call saying the kids where on their way home abd should be there in an hour (YES one hours notice after 13 months) and they had therefore left the temporary home many hours before that.

    So too sum up 3 months in jail no charges not knowing where the kids are for 7 months and two visits in 13 months in total 1hour and 15min.
    And not to forget they both got fired from the jobbs lost the house and the house was burgelised because the police searched that at the same time they picked up the parents so 2 doors and a garage door was demolished and left wide open.
    The neighbours did what tehy could to shut the doors after 2-3 days but they can't pay and fix everything so they only boarded it up with planks so it was not very secure.
    And then they could not get any jobs for 3-4 months (about a month ago i heard the last about this but i would be very supprised if one of them have gotten any job) after the kids were home becasuse in the police records they are phedophiles now and then no one in sweden is going to hire them.

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  131. Thank you, just what I needed!
    Think it's time to share with all my members...an am sure I won't be alone in thanking you for sharing! x

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  132. My husband and I practically peed ourselves laughing at this.

    My older son (now 11) had a stuffed cat at about age 3 that he had named Pussy. Leading of course to statements such as "I want Pussy in bed with me!" and "I can't find my Pussy!" and "Pussy is so soft! I love Pussy!"

    We managed to keep a straight face most of the time, but we almost burst internal organs doing so. Glad to know I am not the only parent whose children have weird taste in stuffed animal names.

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  133. This is H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!! Especially since my son, Sawyer, has named his favorite stuffed toy "New D" aka "Nudey"..when it's lost, He calls for "Nudey" throughout the house & outside..I know our neighbors are questioning our parenting.....

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  134. I just saw this video on You Tube and it made me laugh. It's very cute. But do you know that the music you picked to play during the video is about a kid shooting other kids. "He's coming for you" "You better run, better run, faster than my bullet". Kind of disturbing to listen to that song while watching such a cute video.

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