Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear During A Conference Call from Home
Automated Machine: This is Verizon, returning your call. Your estimated wait time to speak to a customer service representative is ... 39 minutes. Would you like to hold? If so, please say yes.
Kid #1: HE PUT BOOGERS ON ME!
Automated Machine: I did not understand your response. At the tone, please say yes or no.
Kid #1: MOM! BOOGERS! GAHHH!
Automated Machine: Thank you. Your account has been cancelled. Good bye.
Here are the top 10 things you don't want to hear while attempting to have an important, adult-type conversation from home.
10. "MOMMMY! Wipe! My! Bottom!"
9. "Be'scuse me. Dora is over."
8. The sound of water running somewhere in the house. Water you did not turn on.
7. [Over the baby monitor] "I not asweep! LA LA LA! Not sweeping ever ever EVER!"
6. A door opening. Doesn't matter what door. Front door? BAD. Fridge door? BAD. Back door? BAD. Garage door? Very Bad. Pantry door? Not good.
5. "Bad dog! Let me ride you!"
4. [Click. Other phone in house gets picked up] Mommy? Are you still on da phone wif dat mean lady you don't like from your work?
3. SMASH. Thump thump thump. Pause. Crying.
2. "Uh oh. I think I broke da potty."
1. Wait. What is that? Oh no. It's the ... Ominous Silence.
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012
I don’t know how it happened but I’m the mother of a teenager. It occurs to me that I only have five years left to teach her everything ...
Guru Louise and I asked you about what most teachers really want for end of the year gifts. We got hundreds of answers on Facebook , Tw...
So last summer, my youngest daughter (age 5) began seeing previews for a new Dora show called Dora and Friends: Into the City! Gone was th...
Whole30 Day 0: Later this week, I'm starting a diet/nutrition/sadness program called Whole30 . Where you eat nothing but strict Pa...
HOW TO DRIVE YOUR MOTHER CRAZY BEFORE 8AM (in just 21 easy steps) 1. In the middle of the night, go stand next to your mother’s bed, a...
We’ve had a lot of people ask us to write a post about the seemingly innocent topic of the Mother-in-Law. Seriously, people? Are you kidding...
It seems to me that one of the most important things that no one told me about parenthood is that three is worse than two. Everyone is sort ...
When I got the email with this guest post in it, I was very happy because I know a bunch of moms with ADD or ADHD - and you know what? ...
A couple of weeks ago, we asked you for your thoughts on ways that kids can help in their communities. Why? Because we want to raise li...
Guess what? These aren't books. So no, you may not buy them. Our elementary school hosted it's annual book fair last week. That ...