Saturday, May 12, 2012

I Carry Your Heart

Happy Mother’s Day!

No, really, I mean it. This is a truly happy Mother’s Day thanks to the generosity and sheer kindness of all of our Mommyland Mother Pucker helpers. We took all that commercialized, superficial, hyped-up Mother’s Day bullschmidt and we kicked it right in the crotch, like Ralph Macchio doing a crane kick to Johnny’s nuts.

Thanks to you, we helped hundreds of Mommyland moms feel appreciated and loved.

Thanks to you, we helped donate money for over three thousand Clean Birth Kits.

Thanks to you, we got the idea to help moms in our own communities, and we made giftbags for every mom in a homeless or domestic abuse shelter in Fairfax, VA.

Thanks to you, we took Mother’s Day BACK!

Here are just a few messages and emails we’ve received this weekend so you can feel the love along with us.
Kate, Lydia, and I each picked out our own moms to Puck. In fact, Lydia took three moms because she is an overachiever. Here is a photo Lydia sent to me of the care packages she made for her Puckees:
Yes, that is Mini's hand trying to steal the individual t-box. I'm surprised Kate didn't slide tackle Mini to get to those sharpies.
How awesome is this?!? Wouldn’t you just fall over if you got a package like this from Lydia?
I received a beautiful package today from Ann Jones. Personalized stationary that she clearly made. SHE made it. Just for me. To brighten MY day. Addressed "to a wonderful mother."

I cried. I'm crying. This couldn't be a more perfect gift for me. But even more than the fact that it's perfect is that someone thought of me. And put time and effort in to show appreciation. And that makes it beyond perfect.

Thank you, Ann Jones.
And thank you, Kate, Lydia and Guru.
I can't express just how special you made today... I think I'll use the pen for my grocery list. To remind me that I am appreciated even when I'm doing the most thankless task in the house.

Happy tears,

[Editor's note: I know Ann Jones in real life. She is so awesome that she might ride a unicorn to swim practice on Sundays. She also made 100 of the most beautiful cards you've ever seen, so that every gift bag came with extra love. xo, Lydia]

You MotherPuckers turned the tables on me!!!! I signed up to be a MP and got my gift out and felt so good about it. Was thinking life was going to lift her up and all was good. Had a rough day today and wouldn't you know the UPS man showed up with a box of roses and I was looking at my husband asking if this was from him and he was as confused as I was. Another wonderful MP sent ME a gift!!! Melissa Murphy, where ever you live.

You made my day today. My son has Muscular Dystrophy and today was clinic day which is always a rough one. You can live day to day dealing with a progressive and fatal disease, but when you have to go to clinic you are forced to face the disease for that day. Your flowers have lifted my spirits so much. You have NO idea how much it meant. God's timing in delivering those today was obvious.

Thank you ladies. I set out to be a MP to help another mom and in the process you still managed to help me. Love all of you hookers!

You guys have made my Mother Pucking DAY!!!!! Woohoo! My husband and I are both in awe of the kindness around the world today! I emailed you earlier about some flowers I received yesterday that took me by surprise and kept me smiling all day and then today imagine my surprise with another gift from a totally different HOOKER arrived!!! A target gift card! Ladies, from the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you! And to both my Helping Hookers, I wish I could hug your necks!
And now I have to tell you my Mother Pucker story.

We got a beautiful, amazing email from a woman who lives near me asking for the name of another mom so she could brighten someone’s Mother’s Day. She then went on to explain that this year would be her first Mother’s Day without her perfect baby girl who died six and a half months ago, born at 39 ½ weeks but tangled up in her cord.

She said 1 in 115 babies in the U.S. are stillborn, meaning there are thousands of moms out there today who desperately loved their babies and gave birth but just didn’t get to bring them home.

Amanda, the depth of your loss is unimaginable. And when we got your email all three of us cried. We cried for you and for all those thousands of moms out there who waited and planned and hoped for healthy babies and didn’t get them.

The bond between mother and child is so incredibly strong that I imagine you spend your days feeling like a large part of you is missing. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 15 years-old and even now, as a grown woman with my own family, I still don’t feel complete.

So I’ve spent a lot of time and effort trying to fill my gaping hole with other very meaningful people…loving friends, inspiring mentors, strong female role models. But still, there is something missing because that bond between me and my mom was broken too soon. And as you know, that bond started long before I was born, which is why, as you said in your email, each day you miss her, remember her, love her and make space for her in your home.

My good friend, Liz, and I teamed up this week to send you a Mother Pucker package. We decided to send you some fun, silly stuff (lip gloss and sparkly nail polish!) and stuff so you could take a minute to have a moment (Starbucks gift card and a mix CD!) and then Liz suggested we send you this print to acknowledge your loss:
Though I know this poem well, when I read it this week I burst into tears. I realized this is why I still love and miss my mother after not seeing her for years...and why I fervently breathe in my babies when they curl up in my lap at the end of the day. We are intertwined in emotional and spiritual ways I can’t even fathom. You and your little girl are, too. Moms and their babies are forever inseparable.

Because you carry her heart. You carry it in your heart.

Guru Louise
(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012


  1. Simply beautiful. And heartwrenching. Thank you for sharing.
    I will be thinking of her tomorrow.
    And of you as well. This will be my 2nd Mother's Day without my own mother, and I have to say that this Mother Pucker project made this week leading up to it easier.
    I am glad I got to be a part of it.

  2. Damn you hookers for making me ugly cry again. AGAIN. My heart goes out to all the Mamas and especially the Mamas of angels.

  3. Tears are running down my face and I am not a crier! Guru Louise, you verbalized exactly how it feels to live without a mother in our lives, how something is continually missing. I lost mine last year at the age of 31. And that magnitude of losing a child is something I cannot fathom, but even the fear of it is paralyzing. Kudos to you ladies for all that you did.

  4. I hate you Mother Puckers; my mom died of cancer when I was 24, and I hate Mother's Day, this year wasn't so bad because I'm so stressed with work. Then I read your post, and the e.e. cummings which I also know well & don't like & BURST INTO TEARS.

    I'm starting to think I never liked the poem (which I had never heard of until after my mom died, because it speaks of our relationship).

    Nevertheless, I don't really hate you - I love reading your blog but today, you got to me. You really got to me - you do such a wonderful job of supporting and validating hundreds of thousands of people, most of whom you will never meet.

    Curse you for making me cry, but thank you for making me take a moment to really think of my mom and miss her presence in my life.

  5. Oh ladies, I didn't get the chance to participate in your quest this year (life and single motherhood seem to get in the way of many things these days) but all these stories are making me bawl!
    I'm heading back to Virginia soon, to Prince William County in fact (living in East Texas at the moment). When I get back I hope to join you all in these wonderful are all an inspiration!!

    1. I had to move 6 years ago & left my beloved Prince William COunty. Say hello to it for me!!

  6. Holy ugly cry!

    My husband is so confused and keeps telling me 'there's no crying on mothers' weekend' (he's cleaning the living room for the first time in the history of ever as my first present)

    Honestly, you guys are awesome and these stories are incredible.

    I might get myself a print of that poem and put it in my girls' room

  7. I started tearing up as the page was loading, before I had read a single word, in anticipation! Thanks for the "cleanse."

  8. Holy Ugly Cry indeed. You ladies really know how to make a mother, a woman, gain some real perspective. Today I realized just how blessed I am in my life, I have a beautiful 14 month old son, loving husband, two wonderful moms (my mom and my mum - stepmother) plus a wonderful and kind mother in law. I am also expecting my second child. Thank you for reminding me of what is truly important. I felt wonderful to help another mother out but in the end, you really helped me.

    God bless you and yours. You are truly angels on earth. xo

  9. Thanks for the ugly cry first thing in the morning on Mother's Day, hookers.
    That poem is perfect. I've been looking for a few words to put on a picture of my grandfather, who died after a long illness that I had to help perform hospice care for. He was so close to my daughters, especially my oldest one (his last word was his nickname for her), and it's been very rough for us all. I think that poem just won.
    Now I get to go back to spoiling my baby for Mother's Day, since it's just me and her with the hubby working and my older daughter at Disney with what has become her most favorite auntie EVER.

  10. On Mother's Day you couldn't take a break from making us cry? For me, it's the end of the day and I have a cocktail and it doesn't matter. Other moms will read this right before going to church or before Mother's Day brunch or portraits with their cupcakes and now they will have messy mascara.

  11. Could any mother read this and not cry? You ladies, in fact all the ladies of mommyland are the best. Happy Mother's Day!

  12. I am feeling the Mother Pucking love today. My four babes, ages 8 to 1, brought breakfast in bed and gave me bunches upon bunches of flowers (with grandma's help.) And let me sleep until 8 a.m.! Diane in Tucson blessed me with a package of fluffy socks, which I am wearing now, and other essential mommy treats. The other side of this story is that my husband of 13 years left us a week ago. Sadly, having him gone has helped the kids and I realize how negative his presence was. We are at peace in his absence. I know things will get worse before they get better, but I have too much to be thankful for to wallow in pity today. I am sorry I have to post as anonymous...

  13. Thanks for a heart warming post (yes, I am crying too) and for this amazing project.
    A big shout out to the awesome Guru from Astoria!
    And thank y'all ladies for making the craziness of motherhood more digestible :-)

  14. I am crying! I love you guys. You're so wonderful for making moms out there just feel loved. We all need that.

  15. Trying not to ugly cry in coffee shop....I did not have my favorite Mother's Day yesterday and today I'm feeling all tender and weepy and AHHHHHHHHH! Thanks so much for The Mother Pucker project. I posted it on my blog too, hoping that more mama's would give.

  16. You guys are awesome! I nominated a friend and got an email reply asking for her address but I couldn't find the right way to ask whether she got anything. Julie G in Virginia whose husband died two weeks ago. Anyone know anything?

  17. In November 2012, my family suffered a house fire in November where we lost most of our things, and our dog. I was 39 weeks pregnant. One week later, I birthed my son Phoenix (our 4th kid in 5 years) on the bedroom floor of the temporary house we were staying in because my labor went too fast to make it to the hospital. Some of the same EMT's that came to our house fire showed up to help with my birth. We've moved 8 times in 2012, and a few weeks ago, on the day we found out we are officially moving to Colorado from Virginia and "starting over," my husband got hit by a school bus while riding his motorcycle. He is miraculously fine...but it's been a hard year. And then I got a Starbucks gift card in the mail a few day before Mother's Day. And while a Starbucks gift card might not sound like a kiss from heaven, it basically was. It made SUCH A DIFFERENCE and I felt so darn loved! Thank you thank you for pucking me!! :0

  18. thanks for making me cry at my desk today, aholes.

    sincerest love for you guys

  19. I just wanted to say thank you for acknowledging that mother's loss. My son was born and died in May, 15 years ago, and let me tell you, it hurts as much or more today than it did when he died.

    But by acknowledging her loss, acknowledging her have no idea what that means. Well, far too many people do, but all the same, it might surprise you how many people around us won't acknowledge that our child was ever here.

    I don't know that mother. But I know what she feels. I live it, every day and for the rest of my life. I have Chibi now, but one child cannot replace another. And I also know how it feels to have what amount to perfect strangers reaching through the internet to hold your hand and hug you.

    So thank you. All of you. For the mothers without their children. It sucks so bad, but you all just made it a little bit better.

  20. My two year old is going to start thinking I am having a nervous breakdown. At least once a week while we are having lunch (she gets sesame street, I get rants), I start crying into my food. If this keeps up, I may need to start reading it after bedtime.

  21. A beautiful, lovely post. I'm saying a prayer for that sweet mama and for you also. Your words, I think, are just what someone in her situation would want to hear. I lost my sweet son two years ago - he lived for six days before passing away from complications due to prematurity. I think one thing that mothers who lost babies want to feel is that they are still mothers - no matter if their babies are here or in heaven. Thanks for all you ladies do, and I hope you had a wonderful, blessed Mother's Day.

  22. Wow--that poem is awful. And beautiful. And is making me cry. I'm sad I missed participating in the project and am promising myself to do the next one. Kate, Lydia, and GL, you should all feel so proud of what you've done!

  23. wow what an amazing post. i cant imagine loosing my child but i have a friend who lost her son just 4 days ago so she spent her first mothers day alone! but thanks to you ladys she was sent a gift set from bath and body works and i beleive that brightened her day a little because she was told she was still a loving mother even though her child passed on!!!! YOU ARE ABSOLUTLEY WONDERFUL PEOPLE for helping so many mothers out the way you have!!!!!

  24. "Thank you" just seems so inadequate and inarticulate, but I'll say it anyway, from the very bottom of my heart. Thank you to Guru Louise and Liz, and to Ashley in WI, and to Kate and Lydia for remembering my sweet girl and acknowledging the motherhood of all of us babyloss mamas who desperately miss and love our children every single day. Ugly cry, indeed, from a heart overwhelmed by sadness and longing and rage at the universe, but also with a heart brimming with gratitude for the simple kindness and generosity of strangers.

    1. love, love, HUGE love to you, amanda as you mourn the loss of your precious child.

  25. Love you guys and everything you do for all the mother's out there. I was going to suggest a mother but time got in the way. The beginning of this month one of my very dear friends lost her 27 hour old baby girl. She has 2 little ones already and this was supposed to be a normal birth. Something happened that the doctors still cant figure out and she was born fighting for her life that she had yet to live. Her amazing husband is a pastor and I think God is the only thing that is keeping them going on. During their baby Gloria's last few hours of life they sang to her songs of praise. Welcoming her into Jesus's arms. My friend is one of the strongest women I know.

  26. Hello my dears. I've recently discovered your blog post thru a some etsy clients who have purchased the e.e. cummings print from my shop. I thank you for featuring the print, and also for supporting for all those brave and wonderful moms. It has been really interesting to see how this particular poem touches people in such different ways. For some it's a love poem, for others it's a tender goodbye. Some have sent it off with their children or friends who have left home. Others have given it as a wedding gift. I'm thankful that many of your readers have found comfort in the message. Please let me know next time you are assembling Mother Pucker packages and I will be happy to donate some prints. Just convo me thru etsy at this link.

    all my very best <3




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