Tuesday, May 1, 2012

These Hookers Are Taking Mother's Day BACK

Here's the thing about Mother's Day: there's something wrong with it. I've always felt like Mother's Day was sort of a disappointment. I'm not whining about a lack of jewelry or some crap like that. Because sometimes I think the general impression (in the media and elsewhere) of what moms want for mother's day is kind of bullschmidt.

Here's what I mean (and Zales, I'm looking at you):

And it's really that last part that's important. I just want an honest acknowledgement of gratitude from someone who really gets how hard it is to be a mom. Who understands that it is meaningful, difficult, overwhelming work. That it never seems to be enough but that never stops you from trying to do your best. I mean I would LOVE to sleep in and not deal with poo for one day - but it's the I GET IT AND THANK YOU that matters.

And that's where Mother's Day is broken. Because the only people who really get it are other moms. And we expect kids and husbands and boyfriends to get it and often they don't. Because of the evil Mother's Day propaganda machines.


So Kate, Louise and I think it's time to reclaim Mother's Day. Why not make it about something else this year? Something more. Here's our idea:

LET'S HELP SOME HOOKERS.

We're going to call it The Mother Pucker Project. Kate and Lydia came up with the name over sushi and possibly too much sake. The point of the MotherPucker Project is, we want to reach out to moms in need and give them a little encouragement, help and love. It's about letting a mom who really needs it know that someone, somewhere GETS IT. That we see her for who she is and we want to thank her for what she's doing for her kids. Here's the plan:

Step One: FIND SOMEONE
Pick a mom in need, someone who may not get any appreciation or love this Mother's Day. It can be a single mom that you know, it can be your sister, a co-worker, a friend going through a rough divorce, someone with a deployed spouse, a mom with a baby in the NICU or one who is living at a domestic violence shelter. It can also be a mom in a developing country who needs a clean birth kit so she doesn't die while having her baby (more on this below). If you'd prefer, we can help you find someone from within our MommyLand community who deserves a little love.

Our email for this is MotherPuckerProject@yahoo.com. Send us an email if:
  • You are mommy who needs a little love this Mother's Day, or
  • You want to help someone else this Mother's Day (including sending clean birth kits), or
  • You want to nominate yourself or someone else in MommyLand for some love this Mother's day.
  • To learn more about Clean Birth Kits, you can also click here.
    Step Two: HOOK A HOOKER UP
    Once you have a mom to help, do something. Send her a card and a little gift (a $5 Starbucks card, a flower, a book, some Dr. Pepper flavored lip gloss, a couple of Sharpies [or a crate, hint hint - Kate]. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just something to let her know that YOU SEE HER and APPRECIATE HER and YOU ARE SENDING HER LOVE AND GRATITUDE. Make some clean birth kits or just make a little donation. You can mention us or not. You can do it anonymously or not. Your call. It's about them.

    Step Three: TELL US
    Let us know what you did so we can keep track of your generosity and awesomeness. If you have a story you want to share, please send it to us. We can share your stories with MommyLand or keep it between us, your choice. But let me tell you something, those stories have impact. They send goodness back out into the world like a powerful ninja kick. And this freaking world needs all the goodness it can get.
      Then on Mother's Day weekend, this will be your real present. The one you gave to yourself. We'll tell you how many women we've helped together and sent our obnoxious, non-porny variety of mom-on-mom love to.

      So while you're doing dishes and wiping butts and wondering when it ever ever EVER gets to be about you - you can pause for a minute and remember all those women in your own community who would love to have a dishwasher. Or a house. Or a healthy kid. Or a decent guy in the next room, even if he didn't take you out to brunch like he was supposed to.

      And you can think about all the moms in Mommyland who are far away, high-fiving you and totally getting it and appreciating you. And you will have something to feel awesome about on Mother's Day this year, no matter what.

      And remember, no one will see your info but me, Kate, Louise and the mom we hook you up with.

      Pucker up, mommies.

      xo, Lydia & Kate & Louise

      PS: The Helping Hookers project got a little out of control. Kinda like Cartegena...So, we're going to accept emails until Thursday night at midnight. Then we start scurrying around behind the scenes. We will have our last match-up email sent out on next Tuesday sometime, so that you have a couple of days to get something to your special mommy-friend in time for Mother's Day.

      PPS: Thank you Pregnant Chicken for making our logo. We love you in a decidedly unhealthy manner.

      (c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

      61 comments:

      1. Love this project. I helped at Christmas, but realized how much more fun I could make it if you ran the program again. Can't wait for me hooker hook-up!

        ReplyDelete
      2. Once again, great idea! And I am relieved to know I'm not the only one who thinks Jane Seymour's necklace looks like boobs and a butt - my mom and sister looked at me like I was crazy when I said that - lol.

        ReplyDelete
        Replies
        1. Me, too! That design is sooooo ugly.

          Delete
      3. Ok, loving this so much it hurts.

        Also, it's Kay Jewelers who makes the bedazzled nut sack necklaces, not Zales. Only Kay could create such crap, since, you know, every kiss begins with Kay. (gag)

        ReplyDelete
      4. This is my first mother's day and I *am* demanding my dh to get me a mom necklace. but that's what to be expected after waiting 12 years for this coveted status. Give me a few years to get jaded :P

        and I do agree to the jane seymour's butnboobs necklace.

        ReplyDelete
      5. Pretty sure more kisses begin with tequila than K...
        Seriously though thanks for reminding me that the fact my husband scheduled his boys weekend half a country away (flying from the midwest to the east coast) for mother's day weekend...isn't as bad as it could be. Definitely a first world problem. I have a person in mind to help this mothers' day :)

        ReplyDelete
        Replies
        1. Lauri Ladd - Marketing MommyMay 1, 2012 at 9:06 AM

          Holy Schimidt...Tequilla!!! That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

          Delete
      6. This is an awesome idea and I'm going to try to implement it on my own little level because I know quite a few hard working Moms locally that just want to use the bathroom in peace.

        ReplyDelete
      7. You guys are amazing...Thanks for recognizing ALL moms out there :)

        ReplyDelete
      8. OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only person who hates the open hearts thingy

        ReplyDelete
      9. I loved being a Helping Hooker and I am taking this project on like Donkey Kong - I have always wanted to be a Mother Pucker.

        I have someone in mind...Imagine it being your very first Mother's Day and you have a beautiful 4 month old baby boy, but you're now a single mom because a violent act took your loving hubby 1 week before you welcomed your bundle of joy into this world. She will be my project but more importantly....she is my friend.

        ReplyDelete
        Replies
        1. My friend's husband died last week and I am at a loss as to how to address mother's day? We have already set up meal deliveries, helping with child care, chores, errands etc. for the coming weeks and months. Do you have any suggestions?

          Delete
        2. I would think that sincere words and a card that she is a good mom would not be wrong. That way she is remembered and not forgotten. Also, just ask her what you can do. She will tell you. It's important to remember the big days - bdays, anniversary, even father's day, because the living person remembers and it helps to know that someone is thinking of them.

          Delete
        3. I don't know the age of the child(ren), but for a local woman who is a widow, I usually spend an afternoon (before Mother's Day) with her children helping them make a Mother's Day gift so that they have something to give her and she has gifts to open.

          On the day of, my husband grabs some McDonald's pancakes for their family and ours...you know, breakfast in bed that mommy doesn't have to clean up :)

          Delete
      10. Seriously did a little happy dance when I read the butt and boobs comment...I said the exact same thing! My husband looked at me and said, "I knew there was a reason I married you..."

        Oh and I got really annoyed with the very sloooow Barista at Starbucks this morning...as penance for my first world problem, I will make a donation of clean birthing kits...please forgive me...

        ReplyDelete
      11. Yay! I missed out on the Christmas project, but not for Moms' Day! You've got mail from a willing hooker-- :)

        ReplyDelete
      12. I love you guys! I can't wait to help out!!

        XO, dag

        ReplyDelete
      13. Start up the t-shirts too!

        ReplyDelete
      14. Totally on board with this one!!! I already know of a couple of moms I am picking to do this for!! Fantastic idea ladies!!!!

        ReplyDelete
      15. Yay!! You ladies have awesome timing-I just got an unexpected bonus so there happens to be some extra cash around (seriously that never happens here!) Count me in!

        ReplyDelete
      16. I was helped at Christmas and am in a position to be of help this time around! Count me in!

        ReplyDelete
      17. I love it! I am going to put it on my blog. You ladies are great!
        Heather B
        Krazy about Kindy

        ReplyDelete
      18. another brilliant idea!! i will be doing something for the mommies i know locally and sending love and virtual hugs to the ones that are far away. thanks again for the great idea!

        ReplyDelete
      19. Love it. And that chart at the top? YES YES YES (I REALLY need to clean out the cheerios and dog hair from my car, just ask my best friend, she'll tell you how true those words are - she's afraid to enter my car!!!)
        Happy Mother's Day to all us un-perfect moms who love our kids and pray we don't screw them up too much in the end!!!
        And a special little something to all the single moms out there (it's tough, but we get through it!)!!!

        ReplyDelete
      20. You guys, well, this is awesomesauce on top of triple-chocolate rocky road ice cream with a little something extra on top. And a t-box on the side (ahem, what I REALLY want for moms-day LOL).

        I know soooooo many deserving moms! I'm gonna hafta make myself a little card and go around posting private FB messages and sending mail. DH is totally gonna shite when he sees all the stamps I've used.

        Thanks for making this about ALL of us, instead of letting us feel selfish for wanting 8 hours of sleep and no poop. I'd dearly love a day without poop.

        ReplyDelete
      21. I love that you are doing this. We started planning our surprise for our favorite single Mom a couple days ago. We are getting all spring planting flowers for her front yard and are surprising her with them.

        She is just about my favorite person ever, I hope I turn out to be half the mom she is.

        ReplyDelete
      22. Count me in. You guys rock. I am going to share with my mom friends too.

        I am going to buy some clean birth kits.

        ReplyDelete
      23. This time of year, when the commercials show up for mother's day ugly necklaces that I will never wear or stupid pre-made flower arrangements with teddy bears, I always look at my husband and daughter and say "Despite what the TV just told you, I don't actually want that."

        I'm totally broke this year, but trying to think of a mom that I can do something a little special for. Besides my own, of course. Thank you for this!

        ReplyDelete
      24. Truly inspired.
        I occasionally whine (to myself of course, because no one in this house listens to a thing I say) that Mother's Day is soooo not about what Mom wants/needs (which are usually very small and simple pleasures).
        I like how you spun this around and into something positive!
        Mommys Unite!

        ReplyDelete
      25. I'm looking forward, for the first time in a long time, to waking up secure in the knowledge that everyone's sheets are dry. WITHOUT having to do a sleeping-child butt-sniff to check up on that. And forget having a maid come clean the house! Maid services have this whole huge list of Things They Don't Clean. I'd like, just once, to see the other 3 residents of my house demonstrate that THEY WERE LISTENING at some point during the millions of times I showed them and explained how to clean the fragging house *themselves*. It's not that any one task is back-breakingly difficult. It's the having to do All Of Them All The Time For Everyone that I could do without.

        1) The hamper is neither complicated nor a moving target.
        2) The sooner you rinse that crud off your dishes, the less they'll need to be scrubbed.
        3) LICK ALL THE PEANUT BUTTER OFF THAT FRAGGING SPOON BEFORE YOU DROP IT IN THE SINK.
        4) It takes less than 3 minutes to make your own bed. That includes the time spent putting on the nice decorative pillows that make it look less like a halfway house.
        5) Seriously? You dropped some food, so pick it up and put it in the trash can! Don't leave it there for someone else to discover with their foot.
        6) Trash cans are *also* neither complicated nor a moving target.
        7) The Nearest Flat Surface does NOT constitute "putting it away". If you don't know where "away" is, and it's something that belongs to you, you have the power to decide where it goes, as long as it's in your space.

        Seven basic rules should not be that hard to comprehend. Watching my brilliant husband and children observe all of them for a single 24-hour period, or better yet for a single WEEK, would make my world a much happier place.

        ReplyDelete
        Replies
        1. LMAO!
          Ok, 'fess up, where did you hide the cameras in my house?

          Delete
      26. Sent a donation for clean birth kits in Africa. They accept Paypal. I had no idea of the conversion rate of American dollars to Australian dollars, so chose Africa. Thanks for the links!

        ReplyDelete
        Replies
        1. Hi Knittergran. $10 Australian is $10.28 American. It's almost exactly the same. :) Hope that helps! And so glad you could contribute to those precious African mamas!! :) Happy Mothers Day to you!
          -Adriel

          Delete
      27. Just sent my email, so I really hope I get hooked up to help someone. Hook me up baby, hook me up so hard! I could totally be a hooker, right? Seriously, I obviously know the lingo. Too bad about the fact that I don't really like high heels or blow jobs! ;)
        Y'all rock, by the way, mind if I share this project on my blog??

        ReplyDelete
      28. I got help from a couple of great hookers for Christmas, I want to be the helping hooker this time.

        ReplyDelete
      29. Can you put the graphic here up on FB so we can share it?

        I'm hosting a playgroup the week of Mother's Day... trying to come up with something simple and appreciative to do for the other moms without blowing my non-existent budget.

        ReplyDelete
      30. Kitchen Pixie - your post have given me LIFE!!! Copying and pasting for my own little ingrates to study...

        ReplyDelete
      31. Thank you for this post. Hearing it from you that you "get it" makes it ok that I probably won't really hear it from anyone else! Love your blog.

        ReplyDelete
      32. Screw the notion that the guys can get it right. When my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day last year I replied with " I have made reservations at the beach in a condo, and picked out a lovely bracelet for myself which I purchased earlier. You need to wrap the present and hype it up with the child and pack your bag and be ready for the beach by noon on Friday. Love you - love me - love our family."

        ReplyDelete
      33. ::count me in to to make something sweet for a momma in need !
        http://www.etsy.com/shop/kr47jewelry pimp me !
        <3 you helping hookers .

        ReplyDelete
      34. :: count me in to help a momma .
        http://www.etsy.com/shop/kr47jewelry
        pimp me !
        <3 you helping hookers.

        ReplyDelete
      35. I sent a mass email to family and friends encouraging them to send a card and small "happy" gift to a mom in TX who gave birth to quads and only had one survive. She buried her three angels AND her mom in one week!! (her mom died from complications due to Alzheimer's)! No mom (or person) should have to do this in their lifetime! I want her to feel so much love on her FIRST Mother's Day!!!!!!!

        ReplyDelete
      36. I just bought some clean birth kits. What a great idea!

        ReplyDelete
      37. I spent my last Mother's Day in the hospital with my baby. He spent his first five months of life there after being born with a Diaphragmatic Hernia. You've inspired me to find some NICU moms who could use extra love this Mother's Day. Thank you for this - means a lot to me to get to give back. I will spend my day with my 4 kids but will feel all the richer for getting to love up some other mama too.

        ReplyDelete
        Replies
        1. Love this idea Corinne!! Happy M Day to you! x

          Delete
      38. I love, love, love this. I reposted so I can't surprise my mommy friends. And w/4 kids (ages 9 - 3 months) I am so not organized enough to put together a clean birth kit and money is tight. But I made a donation for 10 birth kits and hubby can just take it out of my Mother's Day budget.

        ReplyDelete
      39. We have a new single Mom in our church. Have already given her a gift for baby to be delivered today. But, will on Mother's Day do a special something for her. Another young Mom in our church with 2 little ones struggling to be a stay at home Mom. Something special for her, too. Thank you so much for the idea!!
        Happy Mother's Day

        ReplyDelete
      40. This is a BRILLIANT idea! Thanks for the inspiration - I've just donated to World Birth Aid.
        You're absolutely right about the boobs and butt necklace...it's just wrong.
        love your work.
        xoxo

        ReplyDelete
      41. Thank goodness it's not just me. All I want is left alone in my yard to play in my garden and not go back into what looks like an abandoned crack house - I know what they look like, I am a part time property manager.

        ReplyDelete
      42. Just made a donation for some clean birth kits! Thanks for pulling this together!

        ReplyDelete
      43. I just sent out my Mother Pucker gift today! Thank y'all so much for letting me be a part of this awesome project!

        ReplyDelete
      44. I sent out my mother pucker gift! I hope my mama loves it :).

        ReplyDelete
      45. Sent my Mother Pucker a small package...SO excited!!! It's the little things that make a Mom's life good!

        ReplyDelete
      46. A cute little story about my 9 year old...the BABY in the family.

        He came home yesterday and said they're filling out this paper about their moms and it asked the best thing I cook. He said he didn't know what to put down since I don't cook. Um, then why are you on the chunky side??? LOL So then, he says "It asked what your job was and I put 'none'." O.o Wow. Out of my 6 children, all of them but one would have said the same exact thing, thinking that being a SAHM means you don't have a job. I waiting for that little stinker to tell me he needs something done, something washed, something sewn, taken somewhere, something bought for school. I'll tell him "It's not my job." lol He just giggles at what he put, so I know there's hope for him yet.

        THEN...he says "It asked how much you weigh and I put 180." <> I'm only 4'9"...and I, at 140, am at my highest weight ever (including pregnancies) and it's KILLING me to be this 'fluffy'. Some can hold 140 and hold it well. Mine is all...POOF. Gut poof, butt poof. Bleh. He said that and I coulda bawled. DH told him "When you go in tomorrow, you might wanna change that to 100 to make mommy feel better." LOL

        ReplyDelete
      47. Wow, what a wonderfully kind thing you all have done. I just opened my door to flowers this am, I am in tears you never realize how much you miss being able to recieve something untill you do! We just as moms do what we need to and of course give up what we have to. Thank you so very much to you all you have certainly made this girls Mother Day!!!

        ReplyDelete
      48. So, I haven't tuned in in quite awhile, so I missed this post and then a little care package showed up in my mailbox today. And I spent half an hour crying. Because the superduperhellafrickinawesomesauce hooker that helped us out at Christmas THOUGHT OF ME to send a little lovin' to. Nearly six months later. Shock and awe, beeotches. SHOCK and AWE. And love.
        Happy Mothers' Day.

        ReplyDelete
      49. I just received, by mail, a gift from your Mother Pucker Project. I really do not know for sure who it is from, but I have a good idea!! Great ideas from all of you! Thank you and my wonderful angel for the gift.

        ReplyDelete
      50. I was a Helping Hooker back in December and was able to help two moms with your help. I thought the Mother Pucker project sounded like the best idea ever, but decided to help out some hookers a little closer to home. I sent 3 of my good friends each a card with a note and a gift card to our favorite coffee place, Marylou's (so yummy!). I chose these friends b/c I think they are each rock stars when it comes to being a mom and a friend and they've all experienced a great accomplishment or a significant loss this year and I just wanted to let them know that more than just their kids are thinking of them on Mother's Day.

        My first friend finished nursing school this year and totally kicked the boards ass, so she is a board certified RN, but the job markets sucks and she's been applying everywhere with no luck. Although frustrating, she never lets this bring her down and is just enjoying the extra time with her kids and husband.

        My next friend is currently in school and planning on getting into the nursing program soon. She's a single mom who manages to take care of her kids, take them to all the stuff they do ( sports/girls scouts/ccd etc), help with their homework, voluteer at their schools, keep them super busy with friends and day trips and bike rides and whatever else she can think of, all while she attends school full time with hours of homework. Her kids are so lucky to have her. She stays positive and always does what needs to be done for the kids even after her worthless POS Ex took her back to court recently and reduced her child support by more that 35% and he doesn't even see the kids, ever. She never gets a break and she loves every minute of it.

        My third friend has a wonderful husband and a beautiful little girl but sadly experienced something last year that a mom should never have to go through. After 23 weeks of preganancy, her baby boy was born and immediately went to heaven. While I know this devastated her family and those of us close to them for a long time, they stayed together and grew stronger b/c of it and truly understand the importance of being happy with what you have.

        I have barely scratched the surface trying to describe the awesomeness that is these women, there are not enough words, but each of these women is totally badass and if I am half of the mom they are, then I must be doing something right.

        ReplyDelete
      51. I received a gift in the mail today from someone I don't even know and she said be sure to come and thank Rants from Mommyland!! I missed this project, things have been so crazy at our house with our new daughter (age 6, adopted from Ukraine!) and Daddy leaving for Afghanistan a month ago....I've been blogging but Ive been a bad blog-follower. It was such an awesome thing, I can't believe a total stranger would show me such kindness and generosity. Thank you for putting this together, it made a big difference to me! Being an army wife can leave you feeling pretty alone and forgotten sometimes, this was a major pick-me-up!

        ReplyDelete
      52. This was in my card from Noni, my Godmother (handwritten by her)..."God bless you for being a willing vessel through which the grace and kindness of Jesus flowed to the heart of Gman... God bless you for putting your personal goals second to raising him....God bless you for the countless days you've sacrificed time, exercised patience, given tirelessly, loved unconditionally and prayed faithfully... May God in turn give you strength, mercy, joy, comfort, hope, and wisdom. Sharing with God the shaping of your child is one of the greatest and most important purposes He gives. Thank you for accepting it so lovingly and doing it so well. I think Noni, my aunt, is very much like Lydia's Aunt Mary. And she totally gets it.

        ReplyDelete

      ShareThis

      LinkWithin

      Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

      What My 9 yr old is reading:

      Stuff that Mini Loves

      Popular Posts