Monday, September 10, 2012

Help This Woman: We Need a Shirt

I just got this message from one of our peeps:
I really want Rants From Mommyland to help me design a t-shirt for my kid. She's almost 7  and she has esotropic amblyopia. (What a layman would call lazy eye, but don't call it that, because that term is stupid and not accurate.) Anyways....she wears a patch for most of the day and gets comments ALLLLLL day long. Everything from, "OMG, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER EYEBALL?" to "Why does she only have one eye?" to "Why you wearing that bandaid on your eye?"

It didn't bother her for a long time, but now she's at the age where she gets embarrassed. So basically, we want to design a t-shirt that speaks for her, and sends a message, loud and clear.

Any ideas?
OH MY FUNKING PETER PAUL AND MARY. Thank goodness I am not this mom, because I would have long ago gone all Alec Baldwin batshit crazy on some old man in Target who made my little girl upset with some stupid question.

Pause for deep breathing and the provision of mental high fives and ass slaps for all the families out there who deal with this nonsense every day. Not just the moms or dads, either. The siblings. My big girl would A-frame someone who upset her little brother or sister. Hugs to you, guys. In my mind, I just gave you a really long monkey hug and a new iPad.

So here's our plan - we come up with slogans. I'm guessing some are probably NOT going to be OK for a sweet little almost 7 year old to wear to school and that's fine - as long as they're funny.

But the real challenge - can we come up with an awesome t-shirt idea that:
  • Reminds people to shut up BEFORE they speak and not make little girls (or any kids for that matter) feel embarrassed if they look a little different.
  • Is appropriate for a kid to wear to school.
  • Is awesome.
I will also accept suggestions for t-shirt ideas for this mom. We'll take the best ones and ask our creative friends to help us turn them into shirts.

Thanks everybody,
xo, Lydia

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012


  1. I'm such a mama bear and would have pounded these folks along side you. I understand questions from young children as they naturally noticed things different than themselves and it's not malicious. But grown ups should just mind their own business.
    Suggestion #1: You should see the other guy.
    Suggestion #2: Don't interrupt my method acting.
    Suggestion #3: I'm fully aware I'm wearing an eye patch but if you say anything my mom will go bat@#$! crazy on you.
    Suggestion #4: If you ask me about my eye patch I'll start to cry and then you'll be the ass who upset the adorable little girl and everyone will think you're a jerk.

    1. OMG- I LOVE number 4!!! and #3....

    2. i have to wear an eye patch
      because you are so fucking ugly
      i can only take half of you at a time
      no fuck off!


      Unknown, you just made me pee my pants!

  2. My daughter is 2 and she has exotropic amblyopia, and she also has to wear a patch 4-6 hours a day every day. Which, let me tell you, is all KINDS of fun trying to get her to keep it on. But I digress. The point is, I totally get the random questions and pitying looks thing. Thankfully, because my girl is a toddler, she doesn't seem to care what people say. Just today I was thinking about things I should say the next time someone asks, "What's wrong with her eye?"
    My suggestion is a t shirt that says, "Pirate in training." Or maybe, "My ears work just fine..."
    Best of luck!

    1. I like the pirate thing. I was going to suggest "Don't ye be messin' with the pirate!"

    2. Yes, I like the pirate suggestion. Teach her to say "Arr!" and give her a stuffed parrot to wear on her shoulder. :)

  3. "Can eye help you?..."
    "Cool eye patch, right!?"

    Sorry I'm not very creative.. lol

  4. This isn't a T-shirt idea, but a kid I went to grade school with had a number of surgery scars that he didn't want to go into detail about, and he told everyone who asked that he was mauled by a tiger. It is to this day my favorite response to any kind of rude, what-happened-to-you questions.

    1. When my dad had a bunch of moles removed on his face, and people asked him why he had all those stitches in random spots, he would just say in a forbidding tone, "Birds." And then refuse to talk about it anymore.

    2. HAHA. My ex had a long, thin scar on his cheek. When I asked him about it, he told me it was a dueling scar. (...and then confessed it had been a scratch from the family dog. But it sure as heck did LOOK like it could've been a dueling scar!)

  5. -Pirate in training.
    -I was cursed for asking stupid questions.
    -I'm supposed to have two?
    -My dad is Scott Summers. This patch is for your safety.
    -I LOVE my eyepatch!

    For the mom:
    -Think before you speak. If she cries, you'll cry.

    1. As a total X-Men geek...I love you for the Scott Summers one. The other ones are awesome also, especially the Mom one.

    2. I think everyone needs a think before you speak t shirt.

    3. Two thumbs up for the Scott Summers one. Love it!

    4. Also love the Scott Summers one, awesome!

    5. Gold star for the Scott Summer idea, and platinum-diamond-sparkly-awesome star for the mom shirt - EVERY mom needs one of those!

    6. i'm all for the mom's shirt!!! i think i may make one just for me and my kids don't wear patches.

  6. I mean, the clear solution here is to get band-aids that have eyes (human or otherwise) drawn on them. Fun fun!

    "My eye patch is DA BOMB!"
    "Take that, Capt Hook!"

    1. i love love love the idea of eye patches with eyes on them! that is all kinds of awesome!

    2. yea, like the ones on the Ellen Degeneres show! Hmmm, maybe we could get her involved?

  7. Don't be jealous because i'm beautiful, be jealous because i'm a pirate!

  8. I like a PP's idea about her ears work just fine. Or something like "I wear an eye patch but I am also awesome at ballet (checkers, drawning.... Typical activity). Or "I am much more than a girl with an eye patch.". I am having a hard time thinking funny right now, it very early and it makes me pissed thinking about it. I understand that people are curious but always be tactful and sensitive.

  9. -EYE (or a graphic of an eyeball) have feelings.

  10. "It's being corrected. Where is your full head bandage?"

  11. How about:

    "The first rule of Pirate Club is you don't talk about Pirate Club."
    "What happens in Pirate Club stays in Pirate Club."

  12. I'm special, what about you?

    Bet you wish you had one too!

  13. I'm related to Nick Fury...
    Avengers Assemble!
    It's a pirate's life for me!
    My one eye does more than your two do everyday!

  14. Never get in a fight with Chuck Norris....he will poke you in the eye!

  15. My daughter (5yo) also has esotropic amblyopia so we've dealt with glasses since the age of 2, wearing the patch, surgery, etc...the questions are nonstop. I don't need a shirt though. When I get a question I usually respond with "why are you an asshole?"

  16. I don't have any shirt ideas, but i wanted to recommend Patchpals dot com for patches that are not like band aids. My daughter also has to patch (though only 2 hours a day right now). We ordered patches for her that fit over her glasses, rather than the bandaid kind. It has made a huge difference in getting her to wear the patches (she picks them out) and they are more comfortable. Plus they have cute designs and they have lots of "patching Power" ideas on their website. (((HUGS)))) on all the comments. My daughter is also 7 and her friends ask about hte patch but not in a rude way. No one has asked us out in public though.

  17. "I shook hands with Chuck Norris!"
    "You should see the other person!"
    "Pirate Life"
    " See you can sneeze with your eyes open!"
    "If I told you I would have to kill you!"

  18. The world is not ready to handle my awesomeness with two eyes. The patch is for your protection.

    For mama bear's shirt: "Make my kid cry and I'll give YOU a reason to wear a patch."

  19. My eye is being corrected. But what's going on with your head?

    Think twice, speak once.

    Thats the eye that shoots lasers. You should be thankful its covered

  20. I've got my eye on you... now be a role model.

  21. The shirt should say," I may wear an eye patch but you need manners." Or. "all the cool kids wear eye patches, sorry you're lame" "the doctors can fix my eye they obviously couldn't help you"

  22. "Back away quietly before you have one, too."

    "It's all fun and games until..."

    Personally, I would love to buy her one of these:

    1. That one the link goes to is adorable. My 6yo would love to play with that. And, I love the "It's all fun and games until..."

  23. This eye is being polite...the other one doesn't like you.

  24. How about something like this:

    My eye isn't lazy, it's looking for adventure!


  26. I like the pirate idea, but I wouldn't go with "in training". Girl's been a pirate for awhile, right? Maybe make it say, "Because I'm a pirate, you scurvy dog." Another more snarky one, "Because I just can't stand to look at you with both eyes."

  27. Also, hugs to that mama. We had one who had to wear a patch, too, and the other had to do eye therapy. I completely sympathize. And kisses to the Pirate Princess. <3

  28. I'm wearing an eye patch. Get over it.

    Why am I wearing an eye patch?
    Why is it your business?

    Inside this shirt is a talented, funny, amazing little girl
    (who is too busy being a kid to discuss her eye patch)

    Is my eye patch really your business?

    If you can pronounce esotropic amblyopia, you can ask about my eye patch.

    If all you see is an eye-patch, the problem is yours.

    My ears work perfectly.
    Don't ask stupid questions.

    Want to see my mama lose her mind? Ask about my eye patch.

    I wish this little girl and her family only happiness and success with this. I also wish haemorrhoids on all the stupid question-asking people.

    1. How about " Underneath this patch.... I'm giving you the stink eye"

    2. If you can pronounce esotropic amblyopia, you can ask about my eye patch.

      This one is my absolute favourite. I think it is important for the shirt to say, "look, I've got this thing, but it's not everything that I am". If the shirt is hostile or overly aggressive, it's not going to be looked kindly upon by teaching staff and/or the general public.

    3. "If you can pronounce esotropic amblyopia, you can ask about my eye patch."

      Yup, love this one. The pirate ones are great, but this one raises awareness.

      All the coolest kids patch.

      From a mom with two amby/stramby kids.

  29. My son has ptosis in one eyelid, meaning he has a droopy eyelid. This is sometimes confused with lazy eye, and it can lead to that condition and other vision problems if it's not monitored. He'll have surgery before kindergarten to lift the eyelid. He also may have to wear an eye patch at some point. Anyway, I get rude comments too! A lot of times it's the innocent "Your baby looks sleepy!". There's this one check-out lady at Walmart that has twice said "Oh, your baby is half-sleepy!" I've explained to her both times about ptosis, but I'll just be avoiding that line from now on. Children tend to notice and say things more, but that's ok. I just tell him he was "born that way" and they just move on (or looked confused, depending on the age). But the woman I wanted to kill was at story hour at the library, she asked me "What's wrong with your son's face?" Um, something's about to be wrong with your face in a minute lady! My son is 2 and doesn't notice it yet, but he will soon and that bothers me. I plan on telling him he's a secret pirate :-) I love the T-shirt ideas that involve pirates! I would buy those.

  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

  31. There was a little girl in my class when I was in first or second grade that had an eye patch... I have no idea why (see? even at that age I knew not to effing call attention to it!). She showed up at art (she cam in late due to a doctor's appt) in tears one day because some rude jerk asked her about it.

    While the rest of us colored, the teacher worked on a special project... a beautiful, hand drawn flower in bright colors that sat on the eye patch. After talking to the girl's mom, the teacher did a whole bunch of different decorative patches (this girl's patches were smooth, skin colored patches that covered the whole socket). There were pumpkins for Halloween, pretty eyes with makeup for dress up days, a sports team one, Christmas ones... dozens of them, all hand done. That teacher rocked, and made that little girl's year (she wore it all school year, then moved).

    That little girl LOOOOOOVED her eye patch and said other kids always wanted to wear them. Now, not all kids would want to draw attention to themselves that way, but if this girl would wear a shirt to tell people off, she might like an eye patch with a pretty flower or her favorite animal.

    1. This one made me ugly cry. Some teachers are just so wonderful

    2. This one made me ugly cry too! That is one person who was gifted to be in the right vocation!

    3. Is it too late to honour this teacher with some kind of award? That's the sort of person I want in my kids' school.

    4. I have tried a few times to find her, to send her a message saying how much it meant, and still means to me that she did this. I haven't been able to yet, but haven't stopped. She deserves applause. I think that the little girl's hero-worship was "enough" for her, but I'd love to send her a starbucks gift card or some recognition. I hope my son has teachers like her.

  32. "My eye will heal with time, your lack of manners may not."

    Also, check out:

    Make your own cool eye patch!

  33. This eye patch keeps my super powers under control!

  34. "What? I can't hear you when I'm wearing my patch."

  35. Front: Peekaboo EYE see you!
    Back: Hey! Eye still see you!
    Eye, eye, Captain! (with her favorite cartoon character with a patch on)
    For Mom
    If you can read this shirt then you should know better.. EYES FRONT!
    How's it feel picking on a child? Oh, didn't think we heard you? Surprise!

  36. Don't make me raise my patch... (with a picture of the laser guy in x men)

    It's a patch, not a microphone. It doesn't need you babbling to do its job.

  37. my daughter also has this. If you search my site, I have lots of posts on it that might help. Here is one:

  38. My problem is being corrected.
    What are you doing for yours?

  39. Never disrespect Pai Mei.

  40. my daughter had this too. she got a patch that had a really cute butterfly on it--my guess is that there are patches with all sorts of characters on them.

    what about decorating the patch with a googly eye and crazy eyelashes or feathers, beads, rhinestones, anything she likes. that way the patch becomes an expression of who she is. make it stand out more so those stares are less about "what's wrong" and all about "whoa! cool eye patch!" she should be proud of it, not confrontational.

    also, for the mom, while my first response would also be to punch the living daylights out of the starers i think she should simply sport a PROUD MAMA shirt. that should keep people quiet.

    1. I love this! Proud, not confrontational=Brilliant! And self esteem building, rather than snarky. Don't get me wrong, I love me some snark. But for a seven year old, I say let her go glam, and teach her a little class along the way!

  41. Don't ask about my Eye, and I won't ask about your IQ!

  42. None. Of. Your. Business.

    If I Wanted You to Know, I'd Print It on the Patch.

    Do You REALLY Want to Say Something?

    My Other Patch is a Mercedes

    It's Not Nice to Stare

    I also liked: You Should See the Other Guy

  43. Gas prices went up again.

    You should see the other guy.

    "Shhh, puny mortals! Don't tell Thor- I'm undercover." - Odin

    "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."

  44. you're so ugly, i can only bear to look at you with one eye.
    yes, i am a pirate, and i cut bitches.

    OK, OK, i know, highly inappropriate slogans for a kid shirt. why not just bling the fuck out of some eyepatches to coordinate with outfits?

  45. See what can happen when you go around asking strangers personal questions!

  46. I had this when I was a kid too. My eye turned in at 3 years old and my doctored tried everything. I was told I was the worst case they had seen to date. They didn't have prisms big enough to measure my eyes because they were so far off, they had to special order them so they could have an accurate measurement. After Physical Therapy and every other option out there, patches were my last hope...well in patching the good eye (what I'm assuming your daughter has) they hope the bad eye will straighten out and fix itself bc that's what the body typically does. In my case, it turned both eyes in and my mom was told if they didn't operate, I would be blind sooner then later bc once your body doesn't use an eye for too long, it shuts it down. My mom avoided it and avoided it bc obviously at 5 years old, major surgery is a scary thing for a mom...but a little girls comment in Shoprite changed her mind. A little girl asked my mom why I "looked like a Monster" and instead of the mom explaining to her kid that some people just look different, she shunned her and pulled her away from me. I broke down and that was the deciding factor...bc it just got too bad and people were getting too cruel...and NOTHING was helping me.
    I got the surgery, am now 27 years old. I was COMPLETELY out of glasses (no contacts or anything) by the time I was 14 and still, 13 years later, have 20/20 vision. It was a painless, same day surgery...I never needed so much as Tylenol afterwards. I walked away with two straight eyes, stereo vision and a brand new confidence. I also learned early on in life how to treat people, to accept people's differences and that asking someone "what happened" out of genuine concern and not cruelty is OK.
    Just know this option is out there and I can personally vouch for the fact that it changed my life. I'd love to talk to you if you or your little girl have any questions.
    Keep your chin up, along with this ridicule, your baby girl is learning a valuable lesson...I promise <3

    1. are awesome. My daughter dealt with this on a mush milder level, just an eye patch was needed to correct her weaker eye. I'm proud to say she is a gorgeous, well adjusted, SENSITIVE young lady now.

  47. "I only need one eye to see how awesome you are for not asking me about my other one."

    If you need a design done for that t-shirt (with any or ten sayings), I'm happy to do it. I promise it won't take 2 months.

  48. You know the best thing about this post? Knowing that there are other moms who have to deal with this problem.

    My son has to wear an eye patch. He has an eye issue though the doctor hasn't been able to pinpoint exactly what the issue is. If we go out in public while he is wearing his eye patch I ALWAYS get questions. It hasn't bothered me , because I can understand their curiosity and honestly I don't care what they think, I know I'm doing what is best for my child. However, my son isn't yet two so I haven't yet had to deal with him being self conscious about the patch. You should check out the rest of the Amblyopia shirts on CafePress. My fav is "Eat, Sleep, Patch."

  49. My Aunt is Medusa....with some snakes wrapped around.

    Not every little girl wants to be a princess.... (on the back) Pirates Rock!

  50. "If you cant say something nice... don't say nothing at all" -Thumper

  51. Another one could be, 'I'm special, you're just stupid'. Although probably not for school that one :P

  52. There IS such a thing as a stupid question.


  53. Goober, im not winking.
    Im making you disappear!

  54. Great ideas folks. LOVE the Scott Summers and excellent Pai Mei reference. Although it doesn't open up dialogue to talk about WHY she has the patch. I adore my boy and when he has a seizure and people ask stupid things I turn in into a learning opportunity, once I belittle them of course. My favorite response to: What's wrong with him is 'We don't know, but we think he caught it at the park'. THEN I tell them: 'He has Epilepsy and Autism and it stems from a folate allergy. Sounds scary huh? But it's not. His body just fights itself but he still likes to have fun, just because he can't talk doesn't mean he doesn't have anything to say'. Personally, I like the decorating the eye patch idea, it makes it fun and personal and doesn't make people pull away, it makes them curious. And curiosity opens up dialogue so that no one will say stupid things the NEXT time they see someone with an eyepatch. Keep up the good work! This is awesome!

  55. "Think before you speak."
    "My eye patch is just one of the many cool things about me."
    "Rudeness will not be tolerated."

  56. I too would go batshit crazy on people asking questions or making comments. Our son was very small when he was born. We got a lot of "he's so small" comments. He ate my husband and myself alive. We wanted to punch sooo many people in the their throat.

    -stop staring, the patch cannot talk.
    - didn't your parents teach you that staring and asking rude questions was impolite? *back* guess not.
    - my other eye is a laser beam and is itching to thin out all the stupid in this room.

  57. Make up business cards. One for asses with the snarky comments one for education and awareness and just pass them out when people or kids say things.

  58. U L(picture of an eye)KE?

    Daddy is a pirate,
    Mommy of the sea.
    Have you ever seen a girl
    As REMARKABLE as me?

  59. how about something educational? The questions may not be meant to be rude and they are just curious. Something informative would help, I hope, over something snarky.

  60. Just embroider the patch....."iPatch"

  61. - Shark attack. I won.
    - I only need one. What's your excuse?
    - I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you.
    - Different is the New Awesome.
    - Stare much?
    - This is not the rude olympics. You can stop competing.

    Like the Scott Summers one. Much love to the courageous girl and her fierce mama.

    1. I really like "Stare Much?"
      It's short enough to put in big letters, and can be read in a split second. Too many words in small letters kind of defeats the purpose if people have to pause, and read, and reread, and figure out what the shirt is getting at.

  62. Check out ! Adorable decorative eye patch stickers you wear over the patch - just for kids. The site was started by a friend of mine who's daughter had to wear a patch. Leave it to an innovated mom! :)

  63. Love love LOVE all of the responses! Every person commmenting here totally kicks ash - I adore when people stick up for one another rather than sticking it TO one another...

    My creative bone is broken today - I'll get a sling and get back to ya.

  64. How about
    "OMG, what happened to your face?"
    "This patch is the only way to contain my awesomeness"

  65. -I know that you are more original than to make a silly pirate joke right?
    -If you ask about my eye be prepared to listen to all the GORY details!!
    -My mom only has one good nerve left...if another person asks about my eye today she may snap...are you willing to take that chance?

  66. How about "underneath this eye patch, I'm giving you the stink eye"

  67. Nothing. What's wrong with your nose?

  68. My eye is temporarily shut down for repairs.

  69. This breaks my heart. It's SO difficult when you have something noticiable. I don't know why people think it's OK to ask about stuff like that. I have divergent stabismus (my eye "floats" ie doesn't stay straight.) I'm 41 years old and I STILL get comments.

    Lots of hugs to your little girl.

  70. love all of these!! Yes, something with Pirates or Scott Summers would be awesome.... or maybe "I'm the six million dollar kid"

    "my cyborg eye is back at the workshop"

    "i can only take so much stupid you...."

  71. I had/have the same issue and have worn glasses since I was 18 months old to help correct it, along with years of patch wearing and therapy. I'm assuming they didn't have the band-aid type patches back then because I had a pirate-type patch. Unlike Desiree, my parents opted to not have the surgery performed. Luckily, I'm able to control my eye most of the time without even thinking about it. When I'm tired or have been drinking, it will turn in. I can't tell you how many times in my life I've had people ask me in a horrified voice, "What's WRONG with your eye?" Luckily my parents never made a big deal about it and taught me to not be embarrassed by it, so I'm ususaly been able to answer with no problem, but man, there have been certain people for which I wish I had some of these responses! My biggest fear having children was that I would pass this on to them, but thankfully, neither of them have any issues.

    Stay strong and make sure your daughter knows that there is nothing wrong with her, but with those that are asking the questions. There is unfortunately no cure for stupidity!

  72. Some say its lazy..
    Im just giving it some
    time off from looking at ugly.

  73. My son wore a helmet for 6 months to help reshape his head and I was always bombarded by stupid questions. I finally put "I make helmets look good" on his helmet and wasn't ever asked again!

  74. Stop (in sign form). Think. Keep walkin'.

    God made me beautiful, even with a patch.

    My mom will taco punch you if you ask 1 out of line question...go ahead, I dare you!

    Rude questions = taco punch

    Don't hurt my feelings, I'm just following doctors orders!

    I like being different, it means I'm not like you!!

    Be nice, I have feelings just like every other 7 year old!

  75. Both my kids have amblyopia. My son wasnt diagnosed until it was almost too late, but it was caught in time. My daughter's case is a bit more severe and she's been having to patch for two years now. (and she hates it) Most of the time people don't notice and if they do, they ask me in hushed tones "what happened? is she ok?" I think its unnerving for some to see a child with a "boo-boo" eye. Now occasionally we've had the random jackhole and my very savvy 5 year old says "Its so I dont go BLIND" yeah. that shuts them up pretty quick.

    I love a lot of these t-shirts too!! Especially the X-men ones!!

  76. omg. how much do i love these responses. iPatch? that is AWESOME. i cannot wait to see what she picks - i know it will look great on this sweet little girl.

  77. SO many funny ones ladies! Way to go!

    I think we need to get her a pink eye patch with rhinestones that says [heart] swag. Get it? Eye love Swag?

    I'd also like to suggest:
    1. Don't ask, Don't tell.
    2. What happens in eutero, stays in eutero.
    3. My other eye is a flesh vaporizing laser. You're welcome.
    4. My other eye has x-ray vision. Frankly, I'm tired of cleaning up vomit.

  78. Oh, yeah?!? You should've seen the guys who asked me about my eye patch!

  79. I think my favorites are
    "If you can pronounce esotropic amblyopia, then you can ask about my patch."
    "You should see the other guy-!"

    Both would be great shirts for being out & about...but as far as school & her classmates are concerned, perhaps she could make a small presentation to her class about her eye patch & why she wears it. So often kids ask potentially-embarrassing questions simply because they're curious. (Turn it into an educational opportunity--her teacher should be on board with that!)
    This could be helpful in a few ways:
    1. All her classmates learn what the deal is right away, thus cutting out future whispering & guessing 'what's wrong with her?'
    2. If the explanation is simplified enough, then her classmates might be on her side (so to speak) on the playground or in the bus..."Hey, who's that girl with the band-aid on her eye?"
    "Oh, that's Jane. {shrug} Her patch helps her one eye grow stronger to help her see."
    3. Teaching her classmates about her condition can give her greater self-confidence. She's an authority on the subject! :) So if her classmates can ask her questions ("Does it hurt?") & she can answer them, hey- no need to be embarrassed cuz it's all part of the lesson & she's the one in charge!

    *If the daughter is really shy, maybe she & her mom can do a tag-team presentation (eg. mom describes e.a. & daughter takes the Q&A), but I'd encourage the daughter to be as involved as possible, since they're Her classmates & She'll be the one interacting w/them the duration of the year.

    Good luck!! :)

    1. OK...LOVE this idea. Kids are so willing to learn something new and adapt to it. As adults, I don't think we give them enough credit for that. I work with Kindergarteners, and they are some of the most loving, accepting individuals you will find.

  80. I'm an adult with lazy eye and have been told that IF I'd worn a patch when I was a kid (I guess they didn't know what to do with it then and to a certain extent with me it wasn't so obvious until after I hit puberty), then I wouldn't have the depth perception issues that I have today. But that as an adult, it's a bit too late to retrain the brain. Though I did go out and purchase an eye patch in hopes that it might have an effect, but haven't had the courage to wear it regularly. Sigh. So keep that patch on and get that eye trained up to work with the other one. It's a good thing you're doing and all the know-nothing-about-its out there can go suck it!

  81. I am an adult with lazy eye, my left eye started to drift when I was a teenager and has gotten progressively worse as I've gotten older. I have no depth perception as such (this latest craze for 3-D movies makes my head ache), but my brain has learned to compensate fairly well. I've been told that if I had worn an eye patch as a kid, I'd have been able to train my brain to get info from both eyes. But as an adult, it's really too late to mess with it. Worst case scenario, if I tried to wear a patch now, I'd probably end up with double vision. Yeesh!

    So it's a fabulous thing you're doing -- getting your kid to see equally with both eyes. And those who know nothing about it can just go kiss my left-eye-constantly-looking upwards-and-to-the-left A**! Weird aint the eyepatch! Try teaching with a lazy eye and having kids be confused as to who it was that you called on! Keep up the good work, mama! You rock!

  82. I must admit that I didn't read all the comments but let me say two things....
    One is that I see the eye patches at school all the time and they come in so many cool patterns and colors that I am always complimenting the kids on them.
    and two...would it be wrong to say "even with one good eye I can see you're an asshat?"

  83. "Guess how often strangers ask me rude questions."

  84. Talk like a pirate day is once a year but patch like a pirate is everyday!

  85. Do you remember the one armed guy from Arrested Development? How about a whole bunch of t-shirts with 'lessons'?

    And that's why... you don't run with scissors.
    And that's why... you won't stare at the sun.

    Or a picture of Ralphi and a bbgun from the Christmas movie... "I put out my eye!!"

    Or how about "I'ld give my left (or right) eye for _________" whatever she really likes (justin beiber tickets, an ipad.. whatever)

  86. I LOVE the earlier comment about educating her classmates. Kids don't care nearly as much as adults do. Explain it to them and they will accept it as just part of their world.
    Adults, on the other hand, are *Professional Ass Hats* who should know better.

    Girlie's t-shirt: Cuz I'm awesome.
    or Cuz I'm a Rock Star
    then bling the shit out of it.

    Momma's t-shirt (as suggested above:) Think Before you speak. She cries. You cry.
    or: Caution: Mama Bear. You have been warned.
    or: Keep Kind and Carry On

  87. Is there somewhere we could donate to help defray the costs of the shirts? And/or is there someone out there who is skilled in crafts enough to be able to make a bunch of eye patches if provided with money or materials to do so (not me, I'm more apt to glue to hand to my head or something)? I'd like to help.

  88. Oh, I hated those "what's wrong with her eye?" questions! When my daughter was patching, she actually wanted talk with everyone she knew to tell them she was patching so that 1) they wouldn't ask her questions about it, and 2) they would recognize her with her eye patch on (which broke my heart that she thought it would change her appearance so much). So yeah, a shirt for kids who are patching would be awesome!

    Amblyopia Kids has a shirt that simply says "it's called amblyopia, I'm patching so my eye gets stronger. You can stop staring now." Which isn't funny, but at least it's direct and to the point.

    Best of luck to the poster, and everyone else out there dealing with amblyopia and patching! It's not easy, and you all are awesome!

  89. My little brother had to wear an eye patch and big glasses. It was not a fun childhood for him. I dislike all the pirate ideas because people used to mock my brother with various pirate-isms. I like the idea of decorating the eye patches, it turns them into something to be admired and draws different questions and comments out of people. I will gladly decorate a crapload of eyepatches for any little kids out there!! Seriously. I would love to. And here's my shirt ideas.

    Not every question deserves an answer.
    Not every question should be asked.

    Words can hurt, think before you speak. <--- all-purpose anti-bullying kid shirt

  90. Let us know what you come up with and where we can get some. I have a friend who also has a 7 year old with the same thing and she is supposed to wear her patch but I don't think she does.
    I would totally get her a shirt as a late bday gift.

  91. Gaga in training. (helps if accompanied by modern art glitzed up patch).
    If you've read this shirt, you've already stared too long.
    Can't patch stupid.
    Patch Life.
    If you like it put a patch on it.

    For mom:
    Before you open your mouth, think to yourself, do I feel lucky?
    Patch? what patch? Your mom's a patch.
    Bitch please. Patches are the new pink.

  92. Why yes, this is the latest iPad
    You know you want one too.

    1. omg,these are all so funny. I'm bummed that anyone would be rude to a teeny tiny cutie. I still remember my favorite cousin crying because of her eye patch when we were about 5 years old (and I'm 53)! Hope just reading these suggestions will raise the spirits of this girl and her loving mom.

  93. Slogan: "Ask me about Pirate training school"
    "Teague Academy"
    "They really mean it when they tell you not to look at the laser in the DVD player"
    "University of Privateering"
    "What do you mean you don't have a letter of Marque?"
    "You know I ROCK this patch!"
    "My other patch is having the diamond polished"

  94. "smart people compliment me, stupid people ask questions"

    "Arrrrr you jealous?"

    "my glass eye is at the cleaners"

    "I'm hiding my amazement @ your stupidity"

    "vision is repairable, manners are a choice"

  95. "I winked at the sun"

    "let me know if you find my eye in your spaghetti"

    "my mom wanted to see cute so she borrowed it..."

    "boo-boos heal, AWESOME is forever"

    "it's protecting school from the alpine monster"

    "I just can't find one that matches my outfit"

    "the president needed an upgrade"

  96. I have cerebral palsy and I had it with both eyes. Twice. Tried patching. Didn't work. Tried glasses. Twice. Didn't work. Surgery, the first time around, held for about a decade. Then I had to have it again. Whoopeee!!! *hugs* to the mom and kid who deal with this, I know aaaaaaaaaaaall about awkward questions.

    How about "My eye went on a vacation"?

  97. "What eye patch?"
    "Yes, I am a pirate"
    "see no evil"
    "I'm not lazy, but my eye is"
    "are 2 eyes really better than 1?"
    "Out of order" with arrow pointing up toward eye.




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