I really want Rants From Mommyland to help me design a t-shirt for my kid. She's almost 7 and she has esotropic amblyopia. (What a layman would call lazy eye, but don't call it that, because that term is stupid and not accurate.) Anyways....she wears a patch for most of the day and gets comments ALLLLLL day long. Everything from, "OMG, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER EYEBALL?" to "Why does she only have one eye?" to "Why you wearing that bandaid on your eye?"OH MY FUNKING PETER PAUL AND MARY. Thank goodness I am not this mom, because I would have long ago gone all Alec Baldwin batshit crazy on some old man in Target who made my little girl upset with some stupid question.
It didn't bother her for a long time, but now she's at the age where she gets embarrassed. So basically, we want to design a t-shirt that speaks for her, and sends a message, loud and clear.
Pause for deep breathing and the provision of mental high fives and ass slaps for all the families out there who deal with this nonsense every day. Not just the moms or dads, either. The siblings. My big girl would A-frame someone who upset her little brother or sister. Hugs to you, guys. In my mind, I just gave you a really long monkey hug and a new iPad.
So here's our plan - we come up with slogans. I'm guessing some are probably NOT going to be OK for a sweet little almost 7 year old to wear to school and that's fine - as long as they're funny.
But the real challenge - can we come up with an awesome t-shirt idea that:
- Reminds people to shut up BEFORE they speak and not make little girls (or any kids for that matter) feel embarrassed if they look a little different.
- Is appropriate for a kid to wear to school.
- Is awesome.
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