Thursday, October 4, 2012

I'm Hearing VOICES - Babble Voices

Remember how I used to write for Babble, on their blogs Strollerderby and Pets? I loved working for them and I kind of hated to walk away from being part of such a great team. But at the beginning of last summer, it was very clear that I needed a break from the internet for a couple of months in order to focus on my kids. 

So imagine how happy and thrilled I was when they not only didn't hate me for being an ungrateful jackass (for walking away from one of their highly coveted blogging jobs), but they made me an amazing offer. They asked if I wanted to write for Babble Voices.

((pause for deep breath and try not to get that shaky sound in my voice that means I might cry))

You have no idea what this means to me. Here's why:
  1. I still don't feel like a REAL blogger. I don't go to blog conferences. I don't know the fancy people. If mom-blogging is like high school, I'm eating lunch in the bathroom. Because to be honest, it all really intimidates me.
  2. When Kate decided to leave, I didn't know if I'd have the guts to keep blogging without her. Together, we were special. Me alone? I'm literally one of a million of other funny moms writing about the stuff we all deal with every day. 
  3. You might think I know what I'm doing here. That this blog is successful or makes money or whatever. NO. I have no idea what I'm doing - still. It's been three years and I have done everything wrong that a blogger can do. As with everything else in my life, all the things that have gone well here have been as a result of dumb luck, coincidence, and doing the best I can.
  4. Why does any of the above stuff matter? Because I love Mommyland. And you, Kate, and Guru Louise made me feel OK about being a trainwreck, when nothing else was making me feel OK.  And I have invested a whole lot of time and love in this blog. 
  5. Babble Voices is different than other blogging gigs. It's a very diverse group of really talented people. The emphasis is on writing really great stuff. It's amazing. It's an honor.
And I still don't believe it, but they're letting me in. They even said I could do anything I wanted. So I decided to see if they meant it. The very first thing they asked me to do was come up with a name for the blog I would write. I turned to my friends for advice.

A very smart pal of mine works in PR and she told me that whatever the name was, it should include the word "Rants". Apparently, that word is the one most associated with this blog and therefore with me. She also said the word "branding" and I got confused because they do that to cattle. So I asked my friend Amy, the Pregnant Chicken what she thought. She agreed about using the word "rants" and promptly sent me the following suggestions:

  • The Aunt of Rants
  • DeodorRant
  • Rants in the Monkey Cage Dance
  • Rant Slant
  • The Scant Rant
  • Lafayette Can't Rant, Bitch Please
(That last one is obviously my favorite. We share a love for Lafayette and we think he is a real person who is our friend and not just a character on True Blood. Remember when she made us this badge? --->)

Then it occurred to me that "rants" rhymes with "pants". And "pants" is the best and funniest word in that was ever invented. And so I discovered the name of my blog for Babble Voices. Ready? It's really stupid and absolutely perfect!

That's right - RANTS IN MY PANTS. And they weren't horrified. They were like "We love it!" and they even let me put an STD joke in my bio. I love those guys so much. Anyway, here's the first little bit of the very first post:
My name is Julie and I have rants in my pants. But don’t freak out because they’re not contagious. I’m just saying that because “Rants in My Pants” is the name of this new blog. When I was little, I had (figurative) ants in my pants and they made me wiggly. And that made all my teachers yell at me and that’s why I hated elementary school.  Now that I’m big, the ants are in my brain. Maybe they’re more like bees, because my brain is always buzzing and making weird noises.  So I write a blog to help make the bees and the ants be quiet so I can concentrate on Words with Friends.
I thought I would take this opportunity (first post here at Babble Voices! Woo hoo!) to introduce myself and also to answer some questions. These are questions that have been submitted in advance by the bees and ants.  Let’s get started.
If you're wondering why I say my name is Julie when it's supposed to be Lydia - I answer that question. You can read all about it here. I'd actually be really grateful if you did.

I will post there once a week. That it's only once a week is huge - it leaves me lots of time for kids and family, and of course to make sure that my focus stays here. The stuff I post will be a lot like the stuff you see here, except I will be slightly more obnoxious here because it's home.

xoxo, Lydia (aka - Julie)

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012


  1. Awesome!!! Love the name of the new blog and love hearing even more that they love you, even after ditching them like a prom dress after a few beers. I cannot wait to read some more hilarious stuff from you. Congrats on the new gig.

  2. When my eldest daughter was about 4, she actually used the word "pants" as an all-purpose expletive, as in "Oh, pants!!" followed by hysterical cackling. Rants in my Pants = perfect! Hurrah for Rants! And please, please keep writing RFML! I am always so sad when a wonderful blogger drops their own blog to go write for Babble or BlogHer or NickMom or what have you ... I was truly adrift over the summer when you too were gone - I took to reading the comments forums on Yahoo news late at night as my sole source of entertainment (shudder). I'm SO glad you're back!

  3. Is it possible to love you more? I guess so, because now I do. I am sure the Rants in your pants will be as amazing as all the rants you have shared with us here!

  4. Congratulations! Now we want a video of you doing your "Rants in my Pants Dance!"

  5. Oh goodness.... They REALLY let you put the clap in your bio?! Hillirous!!!! Thanks for the giggles this morning!!

  6. Now I'm fancy because I know you. Congratulations! You're amazing like Alexander Skarsgard's ass. Truly.

  7. I love how your bio sounds a bit like it was written by Offspring #1...

  8. Awesome! BUT you need to get Babbble to make your blog have a RSS feed. I can't remember to keep clicking over there.

  9. Congrats!!! You're way more awesome than you give yourself credit for. :D

  10. Read your bio and it's fabulous. I have to tell you, your insecurities about being a blogger are funny to me for the following reasons:
    1) I did a happy dance and about crapped my pants when I was doing the RFML SparkPeople challenge and you actually read AND COMMENTED on one of my blogs with your real name :O
    2) I have been a blogger for years and I have daydream fantasies about being a guest blogger here or getting a webbernet fist-bump from RFML (FYI I have a personal blog so it's really completely unfounded daydreams, not trying to plug myself here... that sounded porny)
    3) I literally told my friends when I moved to DC that I was going to stalk you at Targets and make you be my friend (OOOOoooobviously I didn't do that because you're too awesome and I'm too scurred and also not a stalker... I have shit to do like... dishes or draw me something).

    Face it, you're famous enough for others to be in awe of you. Must be for some reason!! ;)

    1. Hey, I plan to stalk her too when I move to DC!

  11. Just bookmarked the page.. but I have a really hard time with the whole Julie/Lydia thing.. although in college my room mate and I used to call ourselves Claire and Blanche, so maybe it's just your way of getting away from creepy stalkers... sweet.. just explained to to myself and I still love you!

    1. Too funny! My roommate and I used to throw out the names Betty and Veronica to any unsavory guys who hit on us!

  12. Loved your first post! You have no idea how brilliant you are, do you? You help so many people feel like they're not alone in finding this mommy gig daunting, heartbreaking, humbling, thrilling, uplifting, and hilarious, sometimes all at once. We've all felt like trainwrecks, but we all thought we were the only ones, until you had the courage to pull back the curtain. You should be incredibly proud of what you've done with this blog, and I wish you tons of luck with Rants In My Pants. Perfect title!

  13. The only way it could be better if it were spelled, "Rantz in my Pantz." I find that ending wordz with a z adds a certain savoir faire...

  14. Awesome news! not to be a downer but I googled rants in my pants and got several links (none to yours :(

  15. Congratulations! Love reading your stuff :)

  16. A big kiss to you! Half of life is showing up, dude.

    You help me get through my day! Like last night, after the best day ever(not really) my son took a giant, man sized, dump on the electric bill. I can understand the impulse but that did not help as much as you might hope. MMMMMMMMM

  17. LJ (short for Lydia/Julie), you have to realize that one of the reasons you are so beloved is because you are so completely genuine. I read a few mommy blogs, and RFML is BY FAR my favorite. Your posts (and those from Kate and the Guru) sound like they are slices of life, not like you sat around for a few days with some notes trying to make something simple funnier. Not that I don't appreciate a well-written, funny, tailored story, mind you. But RFML has a certain freshness about it. If you say you spazzed out at a kid's sporting even, I truly believe you spazzed out and I love you all the more for it. It doesn't have to be dressed up and poignant, it is something I can relate to and feel like I'm not alone. You are the walking embodiment of not having to be mommy perfection to be a wonderful mom to your kids. You give the rest of us hope. Hugs to you!

  18. Not even lying, but Rants in my Pants made me laugh out loud! To keep the rhyming going, I think all readers can agree that we will read you here, we will read you there, we will read you everywhere!!
    P.S. My captcha word totally looked like nutsack. Which, is of course, perfect for a blog post about rants and pants! ;)

  19. Congrats! You've earned it! Love rants in your pants--so many possibilities!

  20. Wow! I am so impressed with how you have grown your brand and your writing. Can you please offer a class to people like me who are winging our way through this whole experience? Please???

    Tracy @

  21. Over 32,000 fans on FB and 3500 followers, and not a big blogger?

    The rest of us must just be dust motes.





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