Thursday, December 6, 2012

Help This Woman: What Should Kids Get Their Moms?

I got a facebook message recently that posed a great question:

Hey Lydia,

I have an unhealthy (or healthy, depending on who you ask) addiction to your blogs, even though I am 23, don't have children and don't intend to have children for many, many, many years. Either way, I think I like your blog because it reminds me of what my mom was probably thinking when raising me and my brothers and sisters and it gives me some insight into the chaos I probably put her through and makes me appreciate her more and more. 


With Christmas being around the corner I was wondering if you would do a blog post on gifts that moms actually want from their children (all ages of their children). I know gifts have to be from the heart but either way, I just want to get her something she will love. I don't want to panic at the last minute and get a Sham-Wow. Help!

Thank you!
--your biggest, childless fan.

I think we can all agree that this email is awesome because here is a young adult type-person  APPRECIATING HER MOTHER. Sigh... It makes kind of verklempt. And makes me less afraid for my future.

This email raises a great question: while we all know that the holidays are about the kids (not the grown-ups), we will in fact (hopefully, possibly) get a present, right? So what kinds of gifts do we actually want from our kids? And age really does make a difference. Because while drawing me a picture and then wadding it up in a piece of tinfoil along with a used band aid would be a super thoughtful and inspired gift from a 3 year old, it would be a little weird from say, a high school senior.

So, here is my question... What could your kid(s) give you this year that would make you really, really happy? Also, what should really, really be avoided? I'll compile it into a big list and share!

xo, Lydia
  **********************************
The awesome people at Sweet Relish are working with us to help moms in need this holiday season. They will donate $1 in gift cards for every person who joins their site and follows me (up to $5,000!!). If you're too busy or too broke to help to a family in need this year, here is one really quick and easy way to help.  It only takes a minute and is really useful and fun.

To join Sweet Relish and follow me, click here.

If you're already on Sweet Relish and you want to find me, click here.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

63 comments:

  1. If the kids are young, maybe an ornament that records their voice, so we can remember it. Also have a necklace/charm with my two kids' picture on it (Walmart makes them waterproof)that I absolutely love. For older kids, I think a night out with their mom. You plan it, go ahead and buy the gift certificates (movies, dinner, art show, whatever), and spend some time with your mom, one on one.

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    1. ITA with this, and add that I have those DIY handprint kits, and I like having the kids do that and put a framed picture of them with it so I can watch them grow.
      Also, I would never say no to a photo calendar.
      Every year I get my dad tickets to his favorite football or baseball team, and we go. Lately it's turned into a whole family outing, complete with tailgating. As a mom, I'm a pretty rabid sports fan, and I'd like this as much as dinner and a movie or art show.

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    2. I love this idea of recording their voices when they are young!

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    3. My Mom loves it when my brother's and I take her out to lunch or dinner. I don't live near them, so it has to happen when I am home, but I think she really enjoys hanging out with us as adults. we don't bring spouses or children, so it's just Mom and her kids.

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  2. A few years ago, when my brother and I were in college, we went and got professional portraits taken of the two of us together. My parents had tons of framed photos of us while we were little, but nothing recent. When my mom unwrapped our package of photos, she was soooo happy and said it was the best gift we could have given her.

    We also make her a photo calendar calendar ever year, mixing baby and recent pictures.

    My brother and I have found that since we're both grown up and living far away, gifts that have our faces on it--young or old--are what she always likes best.

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  3. My daughter is 6 and my son is almost 3, so I don't have adult children yet, but I have a few ideas (as I am an adult child to my Mom).

    My mom likes shopping, so I get her a lot of gift cards, mostly for her birthday. I spend about $100 and get a gift card from each store she likes in the amount of about $10-20 dollars. Sure it's not much, but that's a little off her bill at each store.

    As a Mom, I like experiences/memories and sentimental things more than I like straight out objects. Buy a groupon for a 2 night hotel stay, plan a girl's weekend with her. If that's not in your budget, take her to her favorite restaurant.

    Also photobooks are a nice gift. Snapfish, shutterfly, winkflash you name it. Make up a story about a young princess whose mother the queen raised her to do good things. Or just fill it with memories and photos.

    Spa gift cards are nice, because think of all you put her through when you were a kid, and it would be nice and relaxing.

    Another thought would be (if she doesn't have one and if it's in your budget) a new digital camera. If I could get one for my Mom I would, she's a shutterbug, and it's nice to have one ready for grandkids when they decide to come :)

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  4. My daughter tried to be helpful and buy me scented handsoaps and body spray. And while I appreciated it, some of the scents were... interesting. I work in a position/location that requires multiple handwashings per day and could really use some quality hand lotion, or gift certs to go find what scents I do like. I'd love to just spend the day shopping WITH her!

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  5. I would take one single week of not breaking dishes or pulling hair.

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  6. It may not be the most "heartfelt" but the gift I most appreciated was when my kids collaborated with their dad and grandma to give me some time to myself, and a gift certificate for a massage.

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  7. My kids are all still home (14, 12, and 8 ) so I would like a day where they just don't ask me stupid shit, then ask again when they don't like the answer. I can see that the time will come, though, when they aren't up in my schmidt all day/every day, and I will probably love an afternoon where they treat me to a nice lunch out, and spend time with me without it being a prelude to a request of some sort. Just enjoying each other's company. Because as much as they drive me nutty now, I really really like the people they are growing up to be.

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  8. A handmade card that took more than 2 minutes to complete is my favorite gift from my 5yo. I take my daughter to Dollar Tree (everything's a dollar) and let her pick a gift for each person in our family. I would love if my husband would take her to choose something for me without me around, just to see what she would choose for me. My 17mo? An entire night of sleep OR a morning where I can sleep as late as I want...or even 7am would be glorious, thankyouverymuch.

    For older kids or little ones with Daddy's help, I'd love to GO somewhere. I would really appreciate a thoughtful day trip, or a dinner to somewhere with food I can't create myself.

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  9. My mother likes wine. And art. And, strangely, pillows for her sofa. Not that she piles them all on at once. That would be weird. Because the pillow thing isn't already.

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  10. Both previous comments are awesome. Time with the kids, one-on-one is usually what moms want, especially if they're teenaaged or older and therefore probably not spending a ton of time with mom. For twenties-thirties kids, my mom loves when we take pictures from when we were kids and then make something awesome with a new pic. I had a picture from my 5th birthday party dancing with my dad and then a pic of us in almost the exact same pose during our father-daughter dance at my wedding. I put it in a dual frame with the engraving "Daddy's Little Girl" and it's one of the 3 times in my life I've seen my father cry. Also, if you're close with your siblings, a picture of you all together would be great. Posed pro pics are great, but mom would also love a pic of you just having fun together on a normal day. My sisters and I have this pic where we're on the couch, each with a glass of wine, laughing and casually touching each other's arms or knees or whatever and my mom loves it because it shows that she raised us to be friends as well as sisters. Just some suggestions :-)

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  11. I have a nine month old and a 2 year old. I would like to use the bathroom alone,and for someone to put away laundry. My Mom is 65. I am getting her a nightgown, an apron(from etsy-it's really cute I am replacing the one I got her a few years ago since she uses it every day. ),and I am on the phone with my mom right now asking her and she liked her kindle, she always likes jewelry,and cashmere. She is also a fan of the leather gloves lined with cashmere. You can get them at Macy's. My Mom is a self admitted gift snob and label hound. My daily gift to my Mom is to call her every morning. I think the best gift I ever got my step mom was an hour long back massage. She has a really bad back and is in constant pain, she never complains but I know it always bothers her. We will probably get her another this year.

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  12. A Spa day! Every mom needs it!! (I know I would love one).

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  13. My sister and I also did photos for our parents one year.

    A gift certificate to get family photos is also an idea. Contact a photographer and work out most of the details do all your parents have to do is pick the date. Include some frames for them to put the photos in or a giftcard to your mom's favorite store for her to buy a new outfit for the photos.

    Mani/pedi giftcard.

    Mom daughter date day. Set up a day for you and your mom to spend together. Your treat of course for lunch, movie, mani/pedi, coffee.... Whatever you choose to do.

    Older parents sometimes need help around the house. Hiring a handyman for a day, offering to help them pick out and purchase new furniture, offering your help to paint or fix up the home for a weekend I'm sure would be appreciated.

    It doesn't always have to be a material item. Spending time with your parents is often the best and most treasured gift you can give.

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  14. From my kids, I want something that they have thought through and picked out. That's what I want. My daughter picked out a gift for her dad this year that cracked me up so much that I nearly died in the middle of the store. She handed it to me and said, "Dis is for DaddY!" It was a Simpson's Desk Calendar. It may seem random but it made perfect sense when she explained why. I made sure that there was a card explaining why he got it in the gift. To me those are the things you remember.

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  15. My kids are 10 and 15. Along with Dad, the past couple years they've started a tradition of checking out library books and gift-wrapping them for me for Christmas. I love this because it comes with an understanding they will make time for me to read, I get the pleasant surprise of new genres and authors, and there is no cost/waste involved.

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  16. My kids are 7 and 3, and I'm being honest when I say I get excited about whatever they put their effort into, even if it's a pencil drawing on paper. It's that chubby-cheeked excitement they get from giving you the gift. That is the BEST. But when I think about the 23 year old version of my girls, I have one picture in my mind: a quiet conversation on the couch, maybe some tea... But I will want to know them. A gift is great, but I know I won't want more stuff. So as corny as it sounds, just make an effort to put into words what you managed to write above - that you get what she did for you, and that now you're interested in knowing her and letting her know you.

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  17. The perfect gift would be an entire week (maybe even just a day at this point) of no fighting or yelling at each other. That's it. Like my girls were when they were 1 and 3 and didn't hate each other. Now they are 7 adn 10 and it's war every day.

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  18. This gives me hope for the future too. THe teen years are looming and I am Scared!! I really don't like getting practical gifts for Christmas, I like something fun that I wouldn't buy for myself, like jewelry, cute pajamas, a book I have been wanting (I only get books from the library) a beautiful cookbook (although one might consider this practical). I really love anything that signifies family, like one of those art prints with the family name, or anything personalized then I know it won't be snatched up by one of my rugrats! No matter what, if you put some thought into it, she will adore it! Zazzle.com and etsy.com are great resources for personal gifts.

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  19. My adult siblings and I go in together to get my parents a gift that is an "experience." This year we are getting a chef to come to their place to cook for 6 adults. In years past, we got them show tickets, a night at a hotel, fancy restaurant gift card, a spa day, football tickets... lots of things they would never do unless we made them! On a smaller scale, something like a drive-in movie, a wine class, or a round of golf would be good.

    I also just found iPhone cases that you can put photos on (tinyprints for example). I think it's brilliant!

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  20. Chocolate. Anything chocolate. Except chocolate covered bugs.
    Older kids could give gift certificates for mom and dad to go out to dinner. Or separate ones for their favorite stores.
    Anything made by their hands- but it has to be something they actually spent time on, and not slopped together last minute.

    And no last minute emergency gifts. My daughter forgot my birthday, and dumped the family cat on my lap with a card made up of used printer paper. Granted, I'll never forget this gift, but the idea is to have GOOD memories. She forgets that her mom is a writer- and she is going DOWN when I write a book about her antics! >;)

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  21. I'm 40, but I think this works for all adult children. I give my mom and dad gift certificates redeemable for tickets at the local symphony, because that gives them a date night, and it's something they both enjoy.

    I do really hope that my kids (7 and 9) won't get me more scented lotion. I have 5 bottles of it, and I don't like scented lotion, especially when it smells like bubblegum and creamsicles. Also bath products, because when do I ever get to take a bath without company?

    What do I want from them? Other than a day when everyone just does what I ask because I asked nicely and didn't have to go to the yelling place? Either something sweet, like a photo collage of their sweet selves, or something practical, like learning how to perform a basic life skill, such as doing laundry or loading the dishwasher, and then (this is key) committing to consistently performing that task on a regular basis. Should I have to ask for this as a gift? No, but if it works, I'll take it. :)

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  22. I agree with Jenny. For older kids, moms love to do experiences. My husband and I (who are currently expecting) firmly believe in the "spend your money on experiences instead of things" mantra. So for my little cousin we take her out to the Christmas symphony or the Nutcracker every year. For my mom, this year I got her kick butt seats for a James Taylor concert with my sister and I. JT is her favorite musician, and we were close enough to actually get to see his face for ourselves, instead of a small object down there, that you watched on the jumbotron. When I told her she was literally speachless. This was all of her presents for the whole year, mind you. Then, to commemorate it, I did a scrapbook page and framed it with photos and momentos from the day. Just so you will have something to wrap for them to open. I know that if my child did this for me I would be thrilled. It doesn't have to be something as expensive as good concert tickets. Lunch and a day seeing a museum exhibit she really wants to see with just you and her (from older kids who can behave themselves) would be lovely too.

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  23. As adults, my husband and his sister are planning to do a "recreation" series of photos. They are taking some pictures from when they were kids, and then recreating them as adults, and will frame them side by side to give to their folks for Christmas (probably next year, we won't have it in time for this year).

    Hand/foot print items from little kids is GREAT! Teenagers can gift time (a movie to watch together & popcorn, etc.)

    My folks don't like getting expensive gifts from their kids. They would rather we spent the money on our own kids or ourselves. They would much rather spend time with us all than "get" much. They *do* like getting accessories for their expensive toys, though. :) My mom's new iPad could use some apps, so an iTunes gift card would be welcome.

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  24. I know a mom who always said, write me a poem or a letter. Now her kids are grown and she has over 20 years of poems and letters to go back and read from her three children. Awesome.

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    1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea!!! I'm going to tell my husband to do that with my boys on Mother's Day.

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  25. I'm a supposed adult with 5 and 3 yr old boys. I give my mom (who is one of my best friends, and she's awesome) things that she normally wouldn't get for herself. Some nicer earrings, or a necklace. In the past we've been able to be more extravagant with our giving, but personal things are more appreciated. We do the shutterfly photo book, certificates for a night out.....

    My kids on the other hand. Thank goodness they're adorable. The 5 yr old keeps drawing pictures of me farting, with everyone running away screaming. My husband might frame it. Merry Christmas to me!

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  26. Every year, I ask my mom for a list of 5 things she would never buy for herself, but that she'd like to have (one for me, one for bro, and one for dad!).

    For instance, this year she asked for a photo calendar of all the grandkids, has decided she likes my Ugg boots and wants a pair, a velour tracksuit (she wouldn't be caught dead buying one, but she loves wearing them!), etc. etc.

    We get to choose what we'd like to give her, and put our own spin on it.

    When I lived far away, something with a photo was always on her list.

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    1. This is so awesome, I am going to start asking my Mom this next year!

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  27. Holy cow, I actually want a Sham-wow though. I think it would really help me keep my shower clean(er).
    That being said, we always get my mom a gift card to the liquor store. In PA that's the only place you can really buy wine and mama love-a the vino.

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    1. Good old PA Wine and Spirit gift cards! I love giving them to my grandmas and mom...otherwise they won't bother making the purchase. But you'd never believe how quickly those purchases disappear! ;-)

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    2. I LOVE my Sham Wow, they were a gift picked out by my then 7 year old who loved the idea. We use those things all the time! One of the best gifts I ever got LOL.

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  28. My kids are grown, and I'd love a picture of the 3 of us together as grown ups.

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  29. I am guessing she is looking for more than the gift of silence or a weekend away for me solo at a hotel?? Because, just between you and me, that is hands down the BEST birthday gift my family has ever given me! ;) I am just saying.

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  30. I second the idea of a night with mom. I am 28 and have two toddlers (3 and 21 months), and in the past few years (5 or so), my mom has gotten more and more into her career, now that my brother and I are grown. She is a young mom (only 52), so she's been taking the opportunity to work hard at work now that she has more time. She is an administrator in our local school district, and is always incredibly busy. I know she would love a chance for just she and I to do something together. The nice thing for her now is that she and my dad have plenty of money, so if she wants something, she can buy it for herself. She doesn't need me to buy her a sweater or necklace (though I do that, too!). The quality time is what matters most to her.

    As a mom myself, I would really love a piece of mommy jewelry that has my baby's names and/or birthstones in it.

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  31. I think as adults we know the token gift at Christmas is lovely, but the daily affirmations that we recognize what our parents have done for us and what they have passed on to us. What my dad asks for on his birthday is for all his children to make an effort to stay in touch with his mother in the nursing home. What I try to do is not just recognize them on holidays, but call or email a picture to them when I do something they taught me (Look! I finished the quilt! Look what I planted! ). I take a minutes after certain things I do with my kids to have them call so my parents can hear how I am carrying on family traditions

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  32. I actually bargained with the Hubs last weekend - I offered to run to the store for him if everyone left me alone to watch "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen." (And I plan on doing it again this weekend for "best exotic marigold hotel" ;-) As for the kids, mine are young (9 and 5) so I don't mind the hand made gifts and the dollar store presents are usually something I actually need (like Scooby Doo bubble bath and a new hairbrush). We're not as big on gifts as we are about spending time together. We'll probably do a homemade spa day, High tea with the queen (again, at home, and I'm the queen) or go on a bike ride. Word to the wise, if you do a spa day, and you have dogs, skip the oatmeal facial. I speak from personal experience.

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  33. My mom loves a sweatshirt with all the kids names that says "Grandma's Angels". She has about worn it out. I may have to get her an updated one as my sister added to the brood this year. She also loves birthstone jewelry, with a mix of all the birthstones. She is not a spa person, but I sure am. Just be sure you actually give her the time to go, not like my husband did the year I had the twins. I ended up running in and buying bunches of Aveda products just to use it up because I never got the chance to actually go and use it.

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  34. I love LOVE the idea of recreating photos from when you were kids as a gift for your parents. I am so stealing that this year!

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  35. I think a photo calendar is great for moms especially if they can't live without a calendar. I got one for my grandma who wrote everything on her calendar. She hung it on the wall and left it there for 5 years. A photo book is also awesome. I love them. I made one for my dad commemorating his first grandbaby (my daughter) he was in tears. I have made a small one for my husband and he keeps it on his desk at work.

    Also I think something for a mom with multiple children that is awesome is having each child put their hand print in paint on card stock with the biggest kids print first, then the next one inside that, and the smallest lastly inside all the hands. Frame that along with a photo collage or something.

    My husband made a card with our 3 month old's hand print in non toxic paint on the inside. He video taped the entire saga of trying to get her hand print. It started with clean dad and baby and ended with paint EVERYWHERE. I loved seeing it all.

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  36. I'm a 20 year old adult child and appreciate this so much. Unfortunately, I've already ordered my family's presents this year, but ideas for future gifts are AWESOME.

    This year, by the way, my mom is getting a Pacman fleece blanket, because she has loved Pacman as long as I can remember. It was a toss-up between that and a remote-controlled Pacman and Blinkie (the red ghost), but I'd rather my cat not hate me.

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  37. Oh, for my parents, I make a photo calendar. It is really simple. Just run the Calendar wizard in Word. I usually tweak it so the font for the numbers is small so there is room to list appointmetns and I make a bigger space for a photo (plus I add the holidays) but it is always a big hit (if you want the template emailed to you, contact me at supermom-815-at-hotmail.com)

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  38. I guess it would depend on the kid--I would want them to give out of their hearts, so if that is a homemade gift, yay, but it might be a summer's worth of non-complaining lawn mowing, or a fancy dinner just the two of us, or maybe they remembered that their mom really likes Taylor Swift and they can get their mom her very own CD of it. Or if they are really little, the dad should give the mom a card that says: "Pick the Saturday of your choice and be gone from dusk til dawn. Here's $50. See you on Sunday. We all promise not to give you a shitstorm of regret for taking a day off."

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  39. Since my child can't give me my pre-mom body back (perky boobies, tight hoohoo, cute clothes that fit), I'd love a glimpse into my pre-parent lifestyle. I choose to sacrifice my nice, corporate income to stay home, so just a Starbucks card or a date night at a nice steakhouse would be cool.
    PS I love all the sweet moms who say they want quality time, but I want presents. Lotsa presents.

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  40. I think a gift basket of small daily luxuries:
    Awesome Electric Kettle: http://www.adagio.com/teaware/utiliTEA_kettle.html
    Fancy Tea: http://www.traditionalmedicinals.com/product/chamomile-with-lavender
    Ugg Slippers: http://www.thewalkingcompany.com/ugg-slippers-womens
    Downton Abbey Season 1&2 DVDs or True Blood DVDs
    Fancy Chocolate: https://www.franschocolates.com/store/home.php

    Done.

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  41. I'm using my husbands google account ladies LOL.
    My children are young only 5 and 6. So, at this point I would just like for once to come home to a clean house, no fighting, dinner done, a hug, and an I love you! All of which don't happen except for like once a year around here. My mom died when I was 19 so I never got to experience the awesomeness of hanging with my mom as an adult. But, if my kids were grown the only thing I would want is to once in a while get together for lunch or a movie or to go shopping together. I really do love the picture calendar idea and was just talking to my husband last week about getting a bunch of pics together of all of the grandkids for his mom and dad.
    Melissa

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  42. I love pedicures, so a gift certificate for my spa would be great. Or Home Goods/TJ Maxx/Marshalls gift cards. I'd love to go see a movie with my husband, too. But my kids are in the preschool and under crowd, so any presents "from them" will really be from their dad.

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  43. I should add that I have a big book of blank pages. On any holiday where they might get me a gift, I have them color me a picture in my book instead. As they get older they can write letters or paste pictures in there, whatever they want.

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    1. I like this. Then you wouldn't have to keep all the loose pages and scrap papers, and it's already organized chronologically, etc. Very cool. Maybe I could ask my kids to write in My journal for Mother's Day what they love about me, and see how it changes over the years (or if they just stick with , "'Cause you're a good cook."

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    2. Also, I make an effort every year to pay attention to them, and what they talk about, what they're interested in, and then make/buy gifts that match. Would it be too much to ask for them to do the same? My husband has a bad habit of waiting until I'm desperate enough to go ahead and buy myself the thing I want, and then saying, "Can we make that a gift from me?" Say WHat??? Buy your own gift cert for my massage or piece of jewelry or fancy chocolate or soft slippers, or manicure, or sporting goods item. Shoot, I even keep a list on the computer of things I'm interested in, if you want to take a peek and get it for me before I do. And yes, on the experience gifts, they do have to make the time for you to actually accomplish it, whether it's a manicure, a lunch/shopping day, or a ski date. I still haven't done some of those things, and I got the gift cards months/years ago. I really hope they haven't expired already. 'Cause I'm too scared to call the business up and ask. Also, not making the only time you give gifts or do something nice or surprise me be for a holiday.

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  44. I just posted some ideas for Christmas gifts for new moms: dearyoungmother.blogspot.com. My boy is only 12 months, so I'm expecting some slobbery kisses and piles of laundry from him for Christmas. If he has "help" giving a gift, I would adore a framed picture of the two of us or an art masterpiece from his little hands. For my own mom... geez. That's tough. I think time together is better than a "thing." We usually go on a Girls' Weekend and shop together, with loads of Indian food and icecream.

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    1. mabye u could get a baby sitter for your kid and then u could them to do want u want. they have to listen to no matter what.

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  45. My kids are 18, 13 & 11. There's not so much fighting now that our son is away at college (the other 2 are girls & get along pretty well). You know what I'd like? A spa day - I've never had a mani-pedi because we've never been able to afford it. Also a massage session or two would be nice.

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    1. mabey try to think about how to get money. And DO NOT WAIST IT ALL. I did that once abd a could not get a simple hair cut.

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  46. hi! i am a daghter and mothers day coming up and i have know idea what to get her. please help

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  48. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. We dated about 4 months. I did everything for him whenever he needed help with something, I love him so much and cared about him a lot. I never asked anything from him. I have no kids and a good well paying job. Everything was so perfect and good between us. He told me he would take me ring shopping and we would settle down and have a baby together. Everything was great. We met each other families and everyone told us we were perfect for each other. Out of nowhere he surprisingly left me to be with another girl, so i met a friend who gave me this Phone number + 1 9 7 1 5 1 2 6 7 4 5 of this spell caster Robinson to contact him, i contacted him because i was so heartbroken and don't know what to do with myself but after 3 days of contacting Mr Robinson , my lover came back to me

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