Last summer, we had a very bad storm here called a Derecho. It was like if a normal summer thunderstorm took a bunch of meth and then for fun, also tried some bath salts. Then pretend you saw the thunderstorm in the Target parking lot and you were like: "Dude. You look really scary. What the hell is going on with you right now?" And the thunderstorm totally lost it's shit and decided that an appropriate reaction would be to eat your face off.
No one expected that storm. It happened with almost no warning. My mother in law saw power poles snap in half in front of her and the roof fly off her barn. She was without water and power for over 2 weeks. Things did not get back to normal right away after that storm. You couldn't buy things without cash. The lines at gas stations were hours long. Cell phones barely worked for a week. There were moments when you weren't sure if people were going to go feral and turn on each other.
But they didn't. They helped each other and took care of each other and they all got through it. And I really, really hope that is what happens to all the people in cold houses right now, wondering if it's safe to drink to the water.
It makes me want to cancel Halloween.
But I can't. Because there are little people in my house who need life to return to normal. So tonight I will put on my costume. Here it is. I'm an old school rapper. It's so obvious, right?
I'll take the kids trick-or-treating and we'll have fun. But no party for the neighborhood. And oddly, my offspring understand that. They nodded in agreement. "It wouldn't be cool. Let's just order pizza or something."
[Editor's note: Cap'n Coupon would like you to know that it will be a store bought, frozen pizza.]
So it's going to be a low-key Halloween. It's going to be a Thanksgiving kind of Halloween. Because we're grateful to have power. And a house with a roof and heat and no water in the basement. I'm pretty happy that school is open. I'm glad my family in NJ is safe. I'm hopeful that all of you are safe and dry, too.
PS: Here's a really funny video on Halloween candy from the geniuses at Buzzfeed, which I'm sure we can all use right now. It is awesome. Enjoy!
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