Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A Few Ways I Suck at Having a Sick Kid

I'm heading into year 10 of being a mom and there are some things I should know by now. One of them is how to deal when one of my kids gets sick. AND YET NO.

I love my littles more than sandwich bread and pumpkin pie. My husband and I have designed our whole lives around being good and attentive parents. We are present, loving and paying attention. AND YET NO.

Because as soon as one of my kids gets a tickle in their throat, I start screwing things up. It's as if I have total amnesia from the thousand times I've had to care for a sick child in the past. It's like The Blur takes over and I just react, moment-to-moment, until the crisis subsides. And then I collapse, exhausted, into a puddle while my newly re-engergized offspring use my flabby mid-section as a springboard into chaos.


Here's a little chart illustrating what I'm talking about. Please tell me it's not just me. Also, it may be a little hard to read (click to enlarge).


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2013

22 comments:

  1. Totally hear you, that was me last week. Although after my little cherub finally started feeling better, THE WORST HAPPENED. My husband got the man cold. And all I could think of was that Nyquil commercial where the man is whining to his wife "Pam, can you call my mom?".

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  2. This happens to us all the time. Once I put my 4 y.o. to bed while she was having an allergic reaction to the peanuts I didn't know were hidden in the ingredients of what we had for dinner.

    http://www.momintwocultures.com/2012/10/wtf-vermont-curry.html

    At least you didn't almost kill any of your kids!

    This particular kid is also the one I dropped on the airplane when she was 7 weeks old. I am hoping she doesn't hear about that or she will start to think this is planned.

    http://www.momintwocultures.com/2011/06/things-you-should-know-about-me-or-epic.html

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  3. That chart is AWESOME. And so true. Seriously, every.single.time. When will we learn??!! ;)

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  4. definately, not alone. I once sent my youngest to day car with an ear infection because I didn't know, and he couldn't talk yet. I never had an ear infection, and my oldest never did either. I felt like shit balls.

    My older son has gotten strep enough to know that when he wakes up with razor blades in his throat, he says, "mom I think I have strep". *sigh* then it's the stay at home from work shuffle with the husband

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  5. ME TOO! That chart is me, to a TEE. Every time!! Carry on, warrior.

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  6. I've heard the my neck/stomach/back hurts type one for about a week. I keep asking when was the last time that child has drank water or pooped... because seriously, the call line to make appointments makes you feel stupid for calling about vague ailments...

    "Your kid's only symptom is the stomach aches? Has she pooped recently?"

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  7. So true! Especially the first one. Mr Bean ALWAYS, like clockwork, gets a persistant cough in the fall and spring that I feel is just allergies with the seasons changing. This year, however when I finally take him to the Dr because every afternoon/evening there seems to be a fever accompanying it, I find out he actually has pneumonia! Bad Mom, though I get it about 10 days afterward and don't get it diagnosed till I have to go to the emergency room on the night before Thanksgiving. LOL! My youngest is actually proud of the fact that she never seems to get sick like her older brother and keeps reminding us that she hasn't been sick since she was a baby. (At least none that have been diagnosed by a Dr.)

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  8. I'm going to add one to the list. "Mom, I don't really feel like eating dinner tonight." Me: "You have to eat your dinner. Sit there and finish it." Inevitably, said child pukes in bed that night. Why, oh why don't I listen to them???

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  9. When my baby was just over two, we got a call that he was crying and holding his stomach. ASSUMING it was gas, I popped on over to give him Mylecon (sp?). On the way, I get another call that he is vomiting in his sleep. I call the pediatrician in the car, who says come on in; it might be appendicitis. It was not. You know what it was? Food poisoning. Because I gave my baby bad milk and didn't realize it. I so deserved to be puked on.

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  10. At home for the 9th day since Thanksgiving with a sick one again. 6yo boy child has had colds/strep/tummy bugs and 4yo girl child has had colds/tummy trouble and a mystery virus (neg for strep but similar symptoms). Last time we were home cuz her tummy hurt (same symptom as today), we ended up in ER thinking something was seriously wrong as it morphed into screaming agony and barfing. One x-ray later: impacted bowel is the diagnosis. That's right, she was (quite literally) full of schmidt. So when she complains of tummy aches, we ask "do you have to poop?" Which I did, this morning, several times before we left the house (no was her answer, and she went yesterday, so...yeah...) and again on the way to preschool when the tummy hurt resulted in tears. Indignantly, she snots off to me "No, Mom, I don't haffa poopy! Stop asking me! I might baaaaaaaaaaa" (insert vomit noise here). Good thing it's below zero here - frozen barf is so much easier to clean up! Grr. Mama needs more coffee!!

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  11. How about when your child feigns illness so often that you no longer believe him, then the school nurse calls to say he is in her office with a fever of 104. That' my favorite. Donna Torney, mindful momma, mindfulhub.com

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  12. I hear you. I suck at this part of motherhood. The second case of the wretched crud is working its way through my family. I just Lysoled my entire house and opened all the doors. I don't care if it is 15 degrees outside. I am winning this war with January, damnit!

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  13. I have kids that never seem to mind ear infections. I literally had a doc look in an ear, blanche, and ask my child "doesn't that hurt buddy? " They get a shrug and my kid says "maybe a little. "

    And one time it was so bad the ear drum burst and a facial nerve eroded causing Bell 's palsy.

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  14. This scenario happened multiple times in the fall:

    Kid seemed fine in the morning, just a little tired. I dropped kid off at school. Within an hour I got a call to pick up kid because kid was puking/had a raging fever/ was flushed and miserable with head on desk.

    So I started keeping them home when they seemed even a little bit off, which resulted in a lot of mess and exhaustion as my healthy children enjoyed days off school.

    We can't win ladies. We might as well give up now.

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  15. No, you are not alone. I'm currently waiting for a call from the school saying my 2nd grader has XYZ complaint. He woke up saying his heart hurt and his whole body hurt. But, since he doesn't have a fever and he's not puking, I made him go to school. The kid gets heartburn for no reason - TUMS. And I'm pretty sure his body hurts because he was cavorting in the snow yesterday and just overdid it (we live in CA - snow is a novelty).

    Well, I'm sure until I get that call...

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  16. And I thought it was just me. Thank you for sharing! You made my day!!!!!

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  17. My kids can puke like nobody's business, but when it's anything else I'm guilty of not believing them for awhile. Love the chart! :-D

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  18. this is awesome. the other thing i suck at that 20 years plus has not fixed - caring for a sick husband. oh. my. god.

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  19. Two MONTHS later - still there! Typing this from DD's bed right now as a matter of fact. Also sucks - going to work on your 8 hours of sleep to get yelled at for stuff that has piled up while you were home "taking care" of your "sick kids" (insert eyeroll and/or flippant hand wave from boss and/or co-workers here). Of course non-parent co-workers stay home for an entire week with Man Colds (or 'Man Colds if they are female) with nary a comment. Am I bitter? Heck yeah. Resigning soon? You betcha. Glad to see you blogging again despite the weeks and weeks of crud? OH YES!!

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  20. Im on my first two year old who one week was laughing and jumping and being her crazy neurotic self and then BOOM double ear infection, fever, flu, horrible coughing where she can't sleep, and throwing up. and even though I live with her father we aren't together and I'm somehow stuck missing school because he freezes everytime she throws up

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  21. I love this! We almost made it through the winter without getting sick, but of course that would be too easy:) The first few days are fine but that kid turning into a raja... well that's when we know it's time to carry on!

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