The Absolutely Awesome Red Letter Day

Hi everyone! Today we have a guest post from my friend Moe over at Mom in Two Cultures. Here's a little bit abut Moe: 

My name is Moe (Mom on the Edge) and I write over at Mom In Two Cultures (www.momintwocultures.com). I started blogging when my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but it turns out I had a little bit to say about a lot of different things. Besides being autistic/neuro-typical, my family is also Japanese/American and living a bilingual bicultural life--not always easy in a Midwestern town of 20,000 people! I’m honored Lydia asked me for a guest post because like everyone at RFML, I believe in facing the challenges of life with as much humor and honesty as I can muster on any given day.

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This Has Been My Whole Day

I have accomplished nothing today. Well, scratch that. I have accomplished nothing except being really annoying.

This video is EXACTLY what my entire day has felt like.

FACEPALM.

I need a do-over, you guys.

Make it so.

xo, Lydia

10 Embarrassing Things About Lydia

Hi and waving! Lydia here. I'm going to tell you ten things about myself that I'm ashamed to admit. Here in Mommyland, we strive for honesty. Otherwise, we run the risk of becoming one of those Facebook moms who you secretly consider blocking from your newsfeed because her updates make you feel like your life is a poop show compared to hers.

I've written stuff like this before, in various iterations, but its been a while. But we have some new people who might want to get a better sense of who I am and what we're all about so they can make a decision about whether or not they want to to hang out here. Let's get started:

Something Entirely Different for Us Today

I did not have a good idea for a post today. So I sat down at my computer and just tried to make some magic happen. When that didn't work, I got lost on the internet for a while (2 hours) mostly looking at gifs (moving images/graphic thingees) and Tumblrs (which are like blogs for people that are cooler and younger than me) and playing Candy Crush Saga. After a while, panic started to set in. I was accomplishing NOTHING.

So I tried again to write post for you guys but I was lacking inspiration. 

5 Things About My Husband Traveling All the Time

My husband (the adorable and long-suffering Cap'n Coupon) has had to travel a lot for his job recently. Since New Years, it feels like he's been gone as much as he's been home. It's been here a week, gone a week. Adjusting to this has been a challenge that I have not loved. The kids love it even less.

Ultimately, I realize that it's not a big deal. Here is a list of things I like to think about to remind myself to shut the hell up:

Am I Crazy? Don't Answer That.

It's been a really long time since our last angry rant. But over the last couple of days, I've almost had rage blackouts twice so it's probably time. Let's get started with something I'm sure you've all heard of by now. This:

The geezer on the left was on a plane (and drinking heavily) when the 19 month old (on the right) began crying as the plane descended (because his ears hurt). So the old man glares at the little boy's mother and says: "Shut that [n-word] baby up".

Our Guru is Knocked Up! And Lots of Other Stuff!

Hey everybody!

It's us, Guru and Lydia! How the hell are you?

We've had a lot going on lately and in several different places. We figured maybe it was kind of hard to keep up with all our nonsense.

But the thing is, some of it is kind of important. Scratch that - REALLY IMPORTANT.  And most of you already know all about this but...

Our very own Guru Louise is pregnant! She's going to have baby #3 in June and we are so flipping excited about it. But there's more.

Much more...

Happy Valentine's Day. It's Business Time.

It's time for annual Valentine's Day viewing of BUSINESS TIME.
(originally posted ages ago)
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We happen to think the following video is extremely amusing.  And is just about as romantic as the 37 poopy diapers I have changed today.  Trust us, the longer you've been married - the funnier this song is. It's about sweet, sweet loving. Married-style.

And to the Cap'n and McLovin.  You are both totally awesome.  And we would like to go on record as saying officially that this song bears no resemblance to any husband we have (living or deceased).

It's just funny as hell.

Real World Valentines from our Readers

Yesterday I posted a bunch of Valentines for The Real World, after trying to find a card in the store and being horrified by #1) lameness and #2) cost. And you fine people proved once again that your are smarter and funnier than I am by giving me suggestions on some additional Valentines.

So without further ado, here are the reader-submitted Real World Valentines:

Parents Magazine Say WHHAAAT?!

I got an email last week from Parents Magazine telling me that Rants from MommyLand was a finalist in their best blog contest, in the category of "Most Likely to Make You Laugh". First, I was confused by this and was pretty sure it was some sort of mistake. Then I read it again and I realized that not only was it legit but that there were only 5 finalists. I'm going to talk a little more about them later.

As you know, I lost the ability to feel shame about 5 years ago while projectile vomiting in the Five Guys bathroom when I was pregnant with Mini. So it's not like I would be embarrassed to beg you to vote for me.

I'm a dealer. I sell Samoas.

Hello my sweet darlings.

I just got the email that our Girl Scout cookies have arrived. THEY'RE ALMOST HERE. I realized recently (thanks to watching too many cop shows) that I'm don't sell Samoas and Thin Mints. Oh no. I'm actually a dealer. I wrote a whole post about it over at Babble.

Don't believe me? I have proof. I made a table outlining ten reasons I'm totally right.

(Click on the image if you have trouble viewing it.)

I Am Bad At Kids' Birthday Parties

A couple of months ago, I threw a party for Mini's 4th birthday. I did everything wrong. The good news is, no matter how big a disaster it was from my perspective, she loved it.  She had so much fun, in fact, that recently she's been saying things like: "I need a NEW birfday. Not in November cause dat's too long away. I need da new one to be in 14 days. Thank you."

So that's great, right? But when I tried to describe the party to my friends, they accused me of making it up. But I promise you, it all happened. 

"The Scared is Scared" is the Best Video on the Whole Internets

You guys! You guys! Please watch this video with me. Because it's the best thing I've seen on the internet in a long, long time. An incredibly talented young woman named Bianca Giaever made a movie about a little boy's story. She said "I asked a six year old what my movie should be about, and this is what he told me."

I don't have words I love it so much. My kids love it, too. It's wonderful. I hope you like it as much as we do.

I Hate You, Cold & Flu Season

I recently wrote a post that was all about how I am terrible at parenting sick kids because I always do everything wrong. But recently I realized, it's not really my fault. BECAUSE WE ARE ALWAYS SICK and it's making me a little crazy. How can I possibly be a productive, nurturing, kind-voice-having mom when all I do is put out fires caused by people being sick?

Is this a good week to work on a science fair project? No. Mini has strep. Why don't we try and memorize those multiplication tables, son? How about not because Mommy just threw up. Let's read together every night, snuggled on the couch. Except by 8:30 pm, we're all so exhausted that "together time" turns into "whining and crying time". I'm trying to be a good parent, I SWEAR I AM. But I am constantly thwarted by the cycle of getting sick/very sick/getting better.

Surprise, Surprise!

Hi!

What are you doing here!? We're all over at Babble today celebrating Guru Louise's big news!

Get on over there and check it out!

xoxo
Lydia & Guru

(c)Herding Turtles 2009 - 2013