Wednesday, March 20, 2013

10 First World Problems of a Preschooler

Recently I've been pretty stressed out about stuff in my personal life...we are moving out of our starter house and I'm juggling a lot of work and there is just a lot going on. But each time I feel overwhelmed I try to take a step back and remind myself that these are first world problems. As in...oh, Poor Guru Louise...you're stressed out about your two fantastic part-time jobs and needing to buy a bigger house? Boo-fing-HOO.

A while ago we did a couple really fun posts about Mommy's First World Problems. We had you guys submit ideas and they were hilarious. And last week I decided to re-read your submissions again to remind myself that I am an asshat who has the best possible types of problems.

Anyway, when I revisited recently I started thinking about my four year-old daughter and the stuff that rubs her keister the wrong way. She is a happy, healthy, fortunate little girl but some stuff just pisses her off. So I give you: First World Problems of a Preschooler:

1. All my crayons broke in half and my play-dough is dried out.


2. My mom is scatterbrained and forgot to DVR Bubble Guppies

3. Dad bought the regular goldfish crackers when all I eat now is the rainbow kind. Sigh.

4. I drew a picture of my mommy pooping on the potty and brought it in for show and tell and mommy got all snippy about it.

5. My preschool teacher keeps addressing us all as “friends” (e.g. “OK, friends, let’s clean up the art table!”) And all I keep thinking is: we’re not really friends until I’ve tried to give your dog a haircut.

6. My friend wanted to play regular Candyland instead of Princess Candyland. <Eyeroll>

7. My favorite song is that awesome Flo Rida one about the whistle but every time it comes on the radio my Dad starts frantically punching the buttons in the minivan and saying bad words under his breath.

8. My mom said new babies come from a special section of Target, but I know all the aisles in that store and I suspect she doesn’t know where babies come from.

9. My little brother keeps hogging the iPad when it is obviously my turn.

10. My favorite Camelbak water bottle does not fit in the cup holder in our new minivan.


A long time ago we realized you guys are actually way funnier and smarter than us... So we want to know, what are your favorite First World Problems of a Preschooler? Leave them in the comments and Lydia and I will compile our favorites! Remember when we worked with our buddy Mommy Shorts to make a First World Problems Mommy Edition? We can do the same thing for preschoolers - check it out!

xoxo
Guru Louise


145 comments:

  1. Mommy is leaving the house without me and I can't'...breathe. If she loves me at all she would take me with her, right?

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  2. All my pink underwear is dirty so I'll have to wear purple.

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  3. MY WAFFLE DOESN'T HAVE EVERY SQUARE FULL OF SYRUP!

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    Replies
    1. This is my daughter! EVERY SQUARE! It takes me 5 minutes to drizzle syrup in the morning.

      Delete
  4. Mommy won't let me wear my Princess snow boots, or my Hello Kitty rain boots because it's sunny out...she will also not let me wear either of them to bed.

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  5. my mom did not wash my tutu that makes me not fit in the car seat. WTF

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  6. Whenever my son wants to watch a DVD on a *specific* TV he says something to the effect of "I want to watch Finn McMissle on dis TV but my moozie is in the other TV."

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  7. Mommy sets a limit on how many cups of juice I can have in a day, even though she waters it down.

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  8. Mommy hasn't washed the new underwear that daddy bought me for wiping my own butt and I REALLY wanted to wear them today.

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  9. Mommy forgot to charge the iPad, her smart phone AND my DS! Now I have NOTHING to do...

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  10. Even though I have twelve dolls in front of me, they aren't the right doll. Mommy took the car when I was clearly using the backseat as a nursery, so I have to wait an hour for her to come home and return my kidnapped little princess. (Actual thought of my 2 year old daughter yesterday, sigh)

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  11. But those aren't the RIGHT gluten free fruit snacks!! I can't take THOSE!! I want to take the OTHER gluten free fruit snacks.

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  12. I threw up all over my spider-man jammies and mommy says she has to wash them so I can't wear them!

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    Replies
    1. Haha last week my son didn't make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night and was so upset that he had to take his Batman jammie pants off. He sat on the floor and said he'd wait til they're clean again, as if I was going to go wash them RIGHT THEN and bring them back for him. HAAAAAA.

      Delete
  13. My white Converse shoes got dirty. I need new ones.

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  14. My mommy wouldn't drop everything and go buy more Disney Princess chicken soup, so I had to eat Cars chicken soup.

    I wanted a twisty straw, but all we had were the bendy ones.

    Mommy made me change out of my superman pajamas, princess dress, tutu, and plastic high heels and put on an actual dress for our family pictures.

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  15. REALLY?!? You're going to make me walk? Even though I'm 30 pounds and have been walking since I was 9 months old. REALLY?

    I must get into my car seat my ownself! Or I will NOT let you buckle me in. It doesn't matter that I'm too short to climb up there OR that we are in a hurry.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha. My 3 yr old does that with the car seat... and it takes her eleventy thousand minutes to climb into my suburban and get in, then she insists on buckling the top buckle herself- even though she can't properly line up the clip. We are always late.

      Delete
  16. Mommy won't let me wear my snow boots, rain boots OR tap shoes to the playground. She says I have to wear these HIDEOUS sneakers, which are WAY more difficult to take off and throw at her while she's driving.

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  17. OMG! Please don't forget Bubble Guppies! I think my daughter might die if she doesn't get to watch every episode every day. She can recite whole episodes like it's nothing!

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  18. My mommy keeps putting my clothes in the drawer and now I can't find my favorite spiderman t-shirt

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  19. It's picture day at school and Mommy ironed the WRONG dress.

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  20. The ketchup is in a circle. I only like squares. The water is being mean to me. I want my eyes open and they keep closing. (All of these are actual quotes from my sobbing first-world children.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The ketchup one is too real - have you been watching my kids?

      Delete
  21. I am too little to pull the part of the nerf gun that loads it back, so I have to get my Mommy or Daddy to do it... And sometimes, it isn't even loaded.

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    Replies
    1. I feel like Nerf did this to us for one of two reasons: To make a statement that our children should not be using Nerf guns if they can't pull that piece back yet (what? a safety on a Nerf gun?). Or just to effing torture parents. NOT SURE.

      Delete
  22. I've searched through my toy box for 5 minutes and I can't find the specific teddy bear that I want.

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  23. The blue spoon is in the dishwasher. I've outgrown my Twinkle Toes so I have to wear my Converse. I was late to preschool because Daddy took me to Burger King for breakfast, so my friend was wearing the princess dress when I got there. The grocery store is out of Banana, Beets and Blueberry pouches, so I had to have a mango one to keep me quiet while mom made an extra grocery trip just to buy t-bones on sale. My pink leotard is dirty so I have to wear my black one to ballet. The internet is on the fritz, so instead of watching My Little Pony on Netflix I have to choose between Toy Story, Tangled or Brave on DVD. Ok, that was this week.

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  24. I know my yellow rubber boots match my church clothes perfectly but mom disagrees. So I will lay here on the floor and flail and scream until I persuade her to see my point of view.

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  25. My little sister just picked up that toy that I haven't even looked at in 8 months and now I want to play with it and she wouldn't give it to me so I pushed her down and stepped on her head. Now mommy is mad at me and I have to listen to her blathering on about something called "sharing".

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    Replies
    1. Oh, yesser! My girls, too, but they are 10 and 6 (I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but it will never end.)

      Delete
    2. Erica, I sort of hate you for destroying my illusions. Katie, that is EVERY DAY in my world, except the little one is a boy so I keep telling my daughter to get him used to being nice to each other because it's only a couple of years til he's bigger and stronger and it won't ever switch again ...

      Delete
  26. Mommy cut my hot dog in half. I only like it cut into strips. Fast forward 1 day ... "strips? Are you f'n kidding me? Hot dogs must be cut in half!"

    When putting mustard on a hot dog, it must look exactly like the picture on the mustard bottle - perfect curvy line directly down the center.

    *GASP* mommy took a bite of my cracker ... No one takes a bite of my food!

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    Replies
    1. LOL! No one take a bite of my food... but I am entitled to EVERYTHING you think about eating or drinking... EVER!

      Delete
  27. I am not touching you TWENTY FOUR HOURS a DAY!

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  28. My feet are cold but if I put on socks I won't be able to put the Bugles on my toes before I eat them.

    Mom says I can't wear my tractor shirt 3 days in a row.

    My Mater toy only has three sayings, I wish it had four.

    My leap pad batteries always die in the car when we are only half-way there.

    Someone ate the white cheese and now it is all gone, c'mon, everyone in the house knows I only eat white cheese.

    I have already seen this episode of Team Umi-Zoomi, why isn't there a new one every time?!

    Dora asked really hard questions today...

    I want to be just like Daddy but when I say the things he says I get in trouble. Not fair.

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  29. I wanted the orange bowl, but you gave it to my brother and he is already eating from it. I will now sit at the table and scream hysterically, as if someone is stabbing me in the eye with a screwdriver. I will continue to do this until I see blood coming from my mothers ears, or the neighbors call the police. Whichever comes first.

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    Replies
    1. Yes!!! Only ours was an orange plate, hahahaha!

      Delete
  30. I threw a big fit because mom have me fruit loops for breakfast instead of reading my mind and giving me waffles like I really wanted.

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  31. You cut my sandwich into squares instead of triangles! My cheesestick broke! I CAN get in the car and carseat MYSELF! I don't want those sparkle shoes, I want the pink ones! My foot has dirt on it! I wanted Cars yogurt, not Dora, even though I told you 10 times I wanted Dora! My hair keeps getting in my face but I don't like any of the bows or clippees that I have! You forgot to let ME pick my lunch! I don't understand why I can't take 43 toys in the car with me to the grocery store!

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  32. I'm all done with dinner (after 4 bites). But I want candy because it makes my tummy feel better.

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    Replies
    1. Lol, my son does this almost every night!

      Delete
    2. My daughter says she has several tummies, a 'dinner' tummy, an 'ice cream' tummy, a 'candy' tummy... you get the picture. That dinner tummy fits about as much as a supermodel eats in a meal. The candy tummy can't be filled.

      Delete
    3. "dinner tummy" and "ice cream" tummy!! Priceless! I'm shocked my son hasn't jumped on that bandwagon! "Mommy, I'm all full up. Can I have dessert?" Ha!

      Delete
    4. kellhaulrose - your daughter is craftier than me, growing up I only alluded to 2 tummies - dinner and dessert. And "dessert tummy is always empty."

      Delete
  33. I want Daddy to shake my chocolate milk in the air to make bubbles because Mommy's too short to do it right.

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  34. If I can't have kitty (what my son calls his stuffed Tigger he's had since he was 3mo) then I'm not going; to the store/to sleep/to take a nap.

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  35. My Matchbox car holder has 50 slots and I only have 48 cars.

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  36. This morning I insisted on taking my pillow to preschool even though I already have one on my cot. Now, Mommy is making me take home my pillow from preschool so I have something to sleep on tonight. But I want to leave it at preschool so I can throw a fit at bedtime because i don't have a pillow to sleep with.

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  37. Mom won't let me watch a movie on my iPod and I might just die of boredom during the two minute drive to preschool.

    I got a single drop of water on my clothes that will NEVER dry. Now I have to pitch an enormous fit, change clothes and put the offending ones in the hamper to be washed.

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  38. Mommy is making me put on a jacket even though it is a balmy 30 degrees outside.

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  39. What do you mean you cut my grilled cheese in 4 squares and not 5 pentagons?!?! And we only have normal applesauce in a jar not the squeezy pouches from Trader Joe's... what is this, North Korea?!?! Oh, you were too busy with working full-time, nursing my infant brother, making dinner and taking me to swim lessons to get more, not really good excuses because the CEO of Yahoo went back to work 2 weeks after giving birth, so get it together Mom!!!

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    Replies
    1. HAHAHA North Korea!!

      Delete
    2. my daughter will throw a fit if her grilled cheese is not cut in the shape of the day...squares vs. triangles!

      Delete
  40. I peed in that stupid bucket with Elmo on it without her asking and since it was right before bed, bitch gave me 4 fruit snacks instead of my M&Ms. At least cough up a whole pack.

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  41. Mommy won't walk into the living room from the kitchen to "give me my juice!" which is sitting right in front of me on the coffee table.

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  42. omg! Omg! they got me "boy" colored blocks... I am supposed to get pink & purple ones!!! not blue, green, red & yellow! What am I supposed to do with these?

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  43. They promised a visit from a Sesame Street character at the party I went to. I wanted to see Elmo, all I got was Big Bird.

    Mommy forgot to put my hooded towel on the towel warmer, so I had to choose between a non hooded warm one or a hooded room temperature one.

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  44. Mommy and Daddy force me to sleep on my memory foam mattress under a down comforter!

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  45. The internet stopped working right in the middle of "my little pony" on Netflix. Now I'll NEVER know if Nightmare Moon is defeated! FML.

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  46. I don't want to get dressed because I want to wear my jammies! (8 hours later...) I don't want to put my jammies on!

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  47. "Yes, I'll get it for you in a second" is an UNACCEPTABLE answer!!!

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  48. What do you mean this show is on "right now" and I can't fast forward? Just push the button!!

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  49. I had to carry my own backpack to the car to go to school this morning! Mommy only had 10 things in her hand and she had a spare finger she could have hung that backpack on if she loved me!!!!

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  50. Mommy put four chicken nuggets on my plate! With the carrots as the smile and the cherry tomatoes as the cheeks, there is no face part for which I can use the extra nugget!

    I can only poop in the upstairs bathroom and my sister is flat ironing her hair up there and won't get out. I am FORCED to poop my pants.

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  51. How can you do this to me Mom? I mean How can you not have one of the 3 P's "Ponies, Puppies or Pirates" on whenever I walk into the room! What is wrong with you woman? What? You mean you can't tell that if I say juice I really mean milk or when I say juice I mean juice but not that juice I want THAT juice.

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  52. Just 10 more minutes of Minecraft, mom! I don't need to go to school!

    or better yet:

    My sandwich was dinosaur shaped today when I wanted a circle, and there was still a little piece of crust on the dinosaurs foot, so I didn't eat it. Then I came home from school all hungry because I can't STAND crust on my bread, and mom wouldn't let me eat everything I wanted.

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  53. I couldn't help Daddy paint the shed last night because I had to take a shower and go to bed. Life is not fair. That's why I hate life.

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  54. My sister has the blue plate and I have the purple. The food tastes so different according to the color of the plate so now I can't eat!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks to overly 'helpful' children throwing the dirty dinner plates into the sink after supper, we have a mismatched set. AKA, when plates are on sale for cheap we buy a couple of that color. (One day I'll have nice things. or plates.) So Diva (7) threw a full out standing up body shaking clenched fist temper tantrum. The food she wanted was on the plate with the strawberries, not the plate with the roses and each plate had the SAME sized servings.

      my eye is twitching again just thinking about it.

      Delete
    2. its why I am still using plastic monkey plates cause I am classy like that and its the only set that has enough for everyone to have matching plates.

      Delete
  55. I pushed myself away from the dinner table with my feet, but now I can't reach my food, and I do NOT want mommy to feed me, and she better not push me back under, but I'm still so hungry!!!

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  56. Mommy had THE NERVE to take jeans, a shirt, a pair of socks, and underwear out of MY dresser drawer. Even though we had picked them out the night before and she knew the ones I wanted, she should know better. Geez Louise.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I hate Daddy. I only want Mommy to brush my teeth, get me dressed, brush my hair, give me milk, give me food, play with me, read to me, wash my face, take me to the potty and tuck me in at night. But I don't like how she does any of those things, so I will sit on the floor and scream until she gets it right.

    I drooled all over my princess pillow case and now it's in the wash. Mommy expects me to sleep on my butterfly pillowcase. This is unacceptable. I will sit on the floor and scream until it's corrected.

    Someone asked me if I want chocolate sauce on my ice cream. How rude! I obviously don't want any! I will now scream.

    I'm not allowed to use sharpies. Need I say more? Time to scream!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Lordy Lord - the "Mommy Phase"... eye twitch... 'I want my Mommy. I want my Mommy. I want my Mommy! repeat repeat repeat...."

      Delete
  58. Mommie won't give me her glass of clean, fresh water and keeps insisting I drink out of my own pink cup!

    ReplyDelete
  59. I want to cut my orange. What do you mean 3 year olds shouldn't handle knives? Fine, you do it. *sigh* You did it wrong! I want it smaller!

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  60. Why oh why does this woman insist on giving me my waffle on a blue plate - I want the GREEN plate! I want the GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN PLAAAAAAAATE! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN PLAAAAAATE! WTF? Green plate? PIIIIIIIIIIIINK PLAAAAAAAAAAATE.
    You cannot make me say Please - I know my rights and there is not a single line in the Constitution about the word Please, so step back bitch and gimme my Pink Plate!
    And while I'm at it - you gotta be kidding me with that waffle, right? How hard is it to cut it in small pieces.... but not too small? How many times o we have to go over this Mom? Good help is sooo hard to find these days!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Of course sister and I, and the dog, and the cat all need to come to the bathroom with you. We need to make sure that you aren't hiding from us.

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  62. I spent all afternoon perfecting the set-up for My Little Pony’s Princess Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding, and now Mommy tells me I have to PUT ALL MY PONIES AWAY because the cleaning lady is coming?? Why does Mommy always want the house clean anyway? And then after it gets cleaned, the cleaners put all my toys back in the WRONG PLACE! What is the matter with them??

    ReplyDelete
  63. Mom says I can't wear shorts and a tank top with my tap shoes to the store because it's winter and it's snowing.

    Eventhough I already have 7 Monster High dolls at home, the fact that I don't have *that one* and I can't have it RIGHT NOW, is soooo unfair that I'm going to cry and scream the entire time we're in Target.

    I sob all the way to dance class because I wanted to wear my pink leotard and striped tights to dance class. NOT the black leotard with plain tights!

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  64. I want the Princess sippy cup. No, not that pink one, the other pink onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Yes, right there. No yellow lid, purple lidddddddddd.

    Hey, at least she knows her colors, right?

    ReplyDelete
  65. The iPad was NOT charged while I was at preschool and now I have to watch Netflix on the big TV instead.

    ReplyDelete
  66. I have 30 stuffed animals, but not one of them is a piggie. I NEED a piggie. You never let me have anything I want.

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  67. I was busy playing Farm 1-2-3 on "my phone", and now it's out of "batt-oh-wees". Mama says I have to wait until "my phone" is charged to play it again, and who has that kind of time?

    ReplyDelete
  68. All of these wouldn't be so damn funny, IF THEY WEREN'T ALL SO DAMN TRUE! I can always count of you all to put a smile on my face, even when going into week #2 of not leaving the house after a "minor surgery" wherein the crackhead doc (I really did think he was an intelligent genius when I chose him to perform my procedure)indicated I would be able to resume normal activities within 24 hrs. But now I am thinking I want a big a$$ pipe packed with whatever the fudgenuckles this schmidthead is smoking!!!

    ReplyDelete
  69. I refuse to poop on the potty unless you bring me your iPhone with PBS kids properly work at top speed.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I will slide down the toddler slide on my knees (repeatedly, after Mommy told me not to) and then complain that my knees hurt.

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  71. Mommy and Daddy won't let me bring my brand new light saber to school.
    Mommy won't let me wear the clothes I want to wear because,"it's too small," "it's dirty'," and "it's WAY too warm for a sweatshirt!"
    I think ldftover birthday cake makes a great dinner. Mommy and Daddy disagree, (Mommy actually had leftover birthday cake for lunch, but she's not dumb enough to share hat with a four-year-old!)
    Just because I begged desperately for a pair of Perry the Platypus slippers doesn't mean I'll actually wear them!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Oh, and another one: The kids at storytime kept singing a song I didn't choose, even though I politely screamed at them to stop. Jeez, some people, y'know?

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  73. All you mom's are fabulous! I can't add anything, because I'd be duplicating everyone. Go team mom!

    ReplyDelete
  74. My brilliant, bilingual parents are trying to see to it that I will be bilingual too, so they read Buenas Noches Luna instead of Goodnight Moon. No le gusta.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually snorted when I read thsi - people in my office are looking at me weird

      Delete
  75. I can't find the exact toy that I'm looking for because it's hidden under a pile of other toys. I'm too tired to poke through the pile to get to it, so I'm just going to whine.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I couldn't find the toy/clothing/food/whatever that was right in front of me because you forgot to tell me to look with eyes! (direct quote of my 4yo).

    ReplyDelete
  77. Who the heck put ICE in my ice water?! I said I wanted ice water but I do NOT want ice in it!!

    ReplyDelete
  78. OLDER KID VERSION:

    My friends do not like coming to our house because we only have a Wii, not a PlayStation or XBox. And, no, the zip line, trampoline, basketball hoop are not enough to entertain them.

    My mom forgot to plug my iTouch in and now I am way behind on the fourth grade gossip.

    Homework is so hard when my parents don't help me. This learning thing is hard.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Well, thank you ladies for just making my decision on whether to have another kid turn into a firm NO. No, I do NOT.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I can't eat that cracker. IT. IS. BROKEN.
    I know that yesterday was Christmas, but I only want to play with the dog's toys.

    ReplyDelete
  81. My parents keep trying to make me go outside and play.

    ReplyDelete
  82. ALL my pairs of shoes won't fit on my feet simultaneously!
    Mommy won't let me take my magnetic drawing pad into daycare even though they have at LEAST 5 inside.
    You told me I couldn't climb on the kitchen counter to get a cup of juice using the kitchen drawers, so I got a chair instead, and why are you still mad?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Mom didn't bring her iPod in the car and I want to hear "Call Me Maybe." Right. Now.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I really want the new Princess Sofia doll, but Daddy said that if one more princess doll comes into our house he will rip off its head. I'm not sure if he will rip off the doll's head or Mommy's if she buys it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  85. When I run my finger down the screen of mommy's laptop nothing happens? When I tap on pictures on the laptop nothing happens? I think she broke it and she's afraid to tell daddy.

    ReplyDelete
  86. My (Panera) macaroni and cheese is too cheeeeeeeesy and it's the wrong colorrrrrrrr. I like the otherrrrrrrr (Kraft) kind.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Quote from my 6 year old as I juggled my twins on both legs and making dinner: If I do these chores, what are you going to do?

    ReplyDelete
  88. Please promise the next in these series will be first world problems of elementary schoolers and then teens/tweens!

    Pretty please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You ate the plain doughnut. (this was back when the girls where little and doughnuts had to have sprinkles, candy, etc ty Voodoo Doughnuts for getting us through that time of trials)
      or
      There is only one doughnut in the box with xyz topping and my sister ate half of it. I don't want the other half. I want the whole doughnut

      Delete
  89. My cartoon had a comercial in it and mommy didn't fastforward it at all.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I'm ticked off that I don't get extra play time at the pool because we have to go home and pack for our stupid trip to Disneyland. Life sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  91. My dad wants to get rid of my toys because all I play with are cups and boxes.

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  92. My dad wants to get rid of my toys because all I play with are cups and boxes.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Mommy got mad when we buried her good pearls in the flower pot even though we were just protecting them from the pirates. Now she hides them and we have to play princess with the COSTUME pearls.

    ReplyDelete
  94. It's Thursday and my mean mom won't let me watch shows until Friday which is a whole day away!

    ReplyDelete
  95. Also: "I can't poop in the upstairs bathroom because Mommy is puking in there. Why is she taking so LONG???"

    ReplyDelete
  96. I asked for a cookie and Mom gave me a vanilla wafer. Do I have to spell everything out? CHOCOLATE CHIP, WOMAN!

    ReplyDelete
  97. My 4 y/o woke up in the middle of the night crying. My husband goes to see what is the matter only to be greeted with "NO, I WANT MY MOMMY!" I go in there and ask what the problem is, "My feet are uncovered." She also insists on sleeping with a gajillion stuffed animals, and will throw a fit over not having one of her precious lovies.

    ReplyDelete
  98. My Mom bought me these dumb Converse when she should know all I really want to wear are Crocs.

    I knew coloring on the wall would make you mad but I didn't know you were going to yell like that!

    All I want to do is ring our neighbor's doorbell. 100 times.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Mommy made me sit in the carseat an extra 10 minutes while she drove back to daycare to get my Teddy because "if (she)didn't get him I'll never go to sleep"

    ReplyDelete
  100. Mommy and Daddy say I can't have any new toys until we get rid of some of the toys I already have. I dig through 20 boxes of my beloved toys and find a broken squirt gun, a sticky frog, a bracelet, a mostly squished box missing its lid, and a car with only one wheel. That's 5 things I'll get rid of, but they say it's not enough! Seriously, how much more do they expect me to sacrifice?

    ReplyDelete
  101. I said I want the PINK BOWL!!! No, not that pink bowl, the other pink bowl. No, not that pink bowl....how hard is this, Mother?! Now I will throw all the pink bowls on the floor and you should pick them all up. And act like you like it.

    ReplyDelete
  102. My recent quotables from my 3 year old daughter

    Mumma, all of our crayons don't work because I ripped off the paper that they are wrapped in and I don't like the way they feel on my fingers when I am coloring.

    Mumma, you bought the wrong band aids. My cuts won't heal without Strawberry Shortcake.

    I walk into her room while she is stuffing her non-pink clothing into a garbage bag: Mumma, I am a pink artist and pink artists never lose their pink so all I can wear is pink.

    ReplyDelete
  103. The time I had to wait between my 2nd pancake and my 3rd was unacceptable. Mommy really needs to be a faster cook!

    ReplyDelete
  104. Mommy wants her iPhone so she can make an "important call" but we left the iPad and both MacBooks at home and I'm watching Netflix. FML.

    What do you mean I can't have a new toy every. single. time. we go to Target? What about the dollar section? What about a free cookie?

    ReplyDelete
  105. "I had a sad day because you ate the last granola bar." Said by my three year old when daddy got home - 6 hours after discovering there were no granola bars.

    ReplyDelete
  106. I hate it when we don't get to eat at Chili's. None of the other restaurants have monitors with games. I'm so tired of the games on iPad, computer, Leapster, Wii, and phones...

    Fridays make me sad because I have to wear jeans not sparkly dresses to pre-school. I know jeans are for horseback riding lessons and I love horses, but I weep to wear the dresses anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Mommy bought the cat a toy. I'm not allowed to play with it because *one* time I accidentally wrapped it around kitty's paw and pulled on it and made her meow for help. I hate this cat. It doesn't even like me. I want a dog.

    There is no fruit salad made, so I have to eat an organic apple like some kind of wild animal.

    I have to go to bed before Mommy and Daddy, and no one will stay with me all night. Seventeen stuffed animals don't count.

    Casserole for dinner. That's not even in one of my food groups (pasta, cookies, fruit, and cereal). Why would you mix food like that?

    ReplyDelete
  108. I wanted whole wheat pasta and my mom made regular pasta.

    ...OK, so that was actually ME, but it seemed like something my 2-year-old would think, too.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Why won't the Nick Jr. Games website work, Mommy? Make it work, Mommy. FIX IT!!!!!!! Yes, you can!

    I need to tell you something...NO, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!!......I CAN'T wait!!!...You made me forget what I had to tell you.

    ReplyDelete
  110. I broke my new toy motorcycle and now I want a yellow one. But Mommy won't go to Target 2 minutes before my bath time so now I have to wait to get the yellow toy motorcycle which I plan on breaking withing milliseconds of it being opened.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Mommy filled my cereal bowl half way, and I wanted I filled all the way to the top! Not that I'd eat more than a quarter of a bowl full of cereal.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Mommy!! There are commercials on instead of cartoons. Make the cartoons come back on NOW!!

    I want the pink yogurt cup, not the orange one that I said I wanted 30 nanoseconds ago. I want the one that my little sister has and is NOW EATING. SHE'S EATING MY YOGURT MOMMY!

    I want to sample just a little bite of what's cooking for dinner, say I really like it but I don't want to eat it when it's actually dinner time.

    Mommy won't let me throw things into the fireplace.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Mommy keeps walking around in a daze mumbling about coffee, but I know she slept because I was right there with her. All. Night. Long!

    ReplyDelete
  114. Mommy is too cheap to get a data plan for her (ahem, my) Ipad so I can't stream videos or play Nemo's Reef at the grocery store. Just dumb ol' Monkey Preschool Lunchbox! (It's crazy how fast this has come about, my 7 year olds would have loved the regular apps when they were 2 but my current toddler, just not good enough!).

    ReplyDelete
  115. My son says while crying...There's water in my eyes!!! There's water in my eyes!!!Get it out!! Hurry Hurry!!

    ReplyDelete
  116. Why do I have to stay in bed when that brother of mine gets to wake up and eat all night?

    ReplyDelete

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